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Il est important de noter la durée (00:11:51s), le titre (How to Get Free From Porn Addiction #AskATherapist) ainsi que les éléments fournis par l’auteur, incluant la description :« Comment vous libérer de la dépendance porno #askatheapist // Comment pouvez-vous vous libérer de la dépendance porno? Cette question se pose souvent et si vous pensez que c’est une dépendance ou une contrainte, regardez cette vidéo pour obtenir de l’aide pour comprendre comment faire face à l’arrêt du porno. La dépendance est-elle une maladie mentale? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTQ22OPEY9S Consultez notre site d’adhésion avec cet essai à 1 $: https://www.trial.mendlight.com/try Planifiez un appel de découverte de 15 minutes complémentaire avec l’un de nos thérapeutes! https://book.medendlight.com/discovery prêt à commencer votre voyage de guérison? Prenez cette évaluation gratuite: https://quiz.medendlight.com/sf/1432e826 Guérison du divorce? Regardez cette vidéo pour l’aide et le support: https://mendlight.com/divorce/ guérison du traumatisme? Regardez cette vidéo pour l’aide et le support: https://mendlight.com/trauma/ bouclez et testez vos connaissances – des amis à Euphoria à Bridgeton tout en augmentant vos compétences relationnelles et en gagnant des prix! https://offers.medendlight.com/shall-we-play-a-ame Vous voulez en savoir plus sur les personnalités? Regardez cette formation: https://www.personalities.medendlight.com/ #Mededlight #askatheapist #getfreefrupornaddiction https://youtu.be/pqpmuo0ysg8 (tagstotranslate) Comment obtenir gratuitement de la toxicomanie porn Pour surmonter la dépendance porno (T) Comment réduire la dépendance au porno (T) Comment arrêter une dépendance porno (T) Comment gérer la dépendance pornographie (T) Jonathan Decker (T) Jonathan Decker (T) Mended Light (T) Light (T) Addiction porn dépendance ».
La plateforme YouTube permet une grande variété de contenus vidéo qui touchent des sujets allant de l’humour à des intérêts personnels divers. Elle met un point d’honneur à fournir un espace sûr et respectueux où chacun peut découvrir de nouveaux points de vue tout en suivant les directives communautaires.
Identifier les facteurs de l’addiction au porno
Identifier les impacts de la pornographie sur les habitudes de tous les jours
L’addiction peut impacter différents domaines de la vie, notamment la sexualité, la confiance en soi et les interactions intimes. Une consommation excessive de porno peut créer une dépendance émotionnelle où le plaisir sexuel devient exclusivement associé à ces contenus
Repérer les symptômes de dépendance
L’utilisation abusive de contenu pornographique, caractéristique de l’addiction, entraîne fréquemment une détérioration de la qualité de vie et des relations sociales.
Investiguer les dynamiques internes et leurs impacts
Le circuit de récompense, suractivé par la pornographie, conditionne le cerveau à rechercher continuellement cette stimulation, intensifiant la dépendance et le mal-être psychologique.
Réfléchir à une nouvelle identité fondée sur l’épanouissement sans pornographie
Adopter une approche éthique de la sexualité
Choisir une sexualité éthique contribue à renforcer le respect de soi et des autres dans les relations intimes Cesser la pornographie implique une réflexion profonde, des ressources adaptées et du soutien. En comprenant les mécanismes sous-jacents de cette dépendance et en suivant un plan précis, il est possible de retrouver un équilibre de vie et une sexualité plus épanouie. Les professionnels de santé mentale offrent des outils précieux pour la guérison (voir à ce sujet ce service de pratique de la chasteté masculine).
Des relations solides favorisent un environnement positif
Établir des liens sincères avec un partenaire permet d’éprouver des moments intimes vrais, loin des influences extérieures
Investir dans des pratiques saines pour une meilleure qualité de vie
Pratiquer la méditation ou le yoga renforce la synergie entre le corps et l’esprit, ce qui aide à maîtriser les désirs compulsifs
Structurer une approche efficace pour gérer le processus de sevrage
Définir des buts précis et atteignables
Pour réussir à se libérer de cette dépendance, il est nécessaire de fixer des objectifs clairs, tels que réduire le temps passé à consommer du porno. Une réflexion sur les raisons profondes et les bénéfices à long terme est essentielle pour maintenir l’engagement.
Organiser un environnement favorable à la détente
Restreindre l’accès aux contenus pornographiques par des extensions de navigateur ou des applications de contrôle parental est un moyen de limiter les tentations. Encourager des activités productives et constructives peut également être efficace pour gérer les compulsions.
Mettre en œuvre des approches pour gérer les envies
Il est important de savoir identifier et éviter les situations qui incitent à la consommation, avec des stratégies comme la thérapie cognitive et comportementale, la pratique d’activités saines et l’appui d’un entourage bienveillant.
Découvrir les options de soutien disponibles
Rejoindre des cercles de soutien
Dans les groupes de soutien, les membres échangent leurs vécus, découvrent des solutions éprouvées et se soutiennent mutuellement dans leur cheminement vers la guérison.
Recourir à des applications et outils en ligne pour assurer un suivi
Certaines applications et outils numériques permettent de suivre les avancées, d’envoyer des rappels encourageants et de cultiver des habitudes positives pour réduire la consommation de pornographie.
Demander l’avis d’un expert en santé mentale
Consulter un spécialiste des dépendances comportementales, tel un psychologue formé à la TCC, aide à comprendre les causes profondes et offre un suivi personnalisé.
Visionnez la vidéo sur YouTube en utilisant ce lien :
la publication originale: Cliquer ici
#Comment #libérer #dépendance #porno #askatherapist
Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: – How can you get free from porn addiction and porn use? I’m Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist with Mended Light. And this is ask a therapist, let’s do this. ♪ Mended Light ♪ (rhythmic instrumental music) I get questions all the time from you guys. And one that comes up often is how do I get free from porn addiction? And a lot of people say, well, you can’t get addicted to porn. It’s not a substance. So, maybe we say porn compulsion. I don’t really care. What it really comes down to is using porn as a way to cope with life, using porn as an escape, and it getting in the way of your daily functioning, whether you’re not getting your work done, whether you’re not connecting with your spouse and family. People have a lot of reasons for not watching porn. For some it’s the amount of time consumed, it’s the amount of energy. For some it’s a moral opposition, either for theological reasons or because the porn industry, there’s so many awful things that’s connected to sexual abuse tied to the mafia. And as somebody who has quit watching porn, I can tell you it doesn’t portray healthy relationships. It’s all objectification, it’s all what’s taboo. I mean, there’s not a lot of love, and tenderness, and kindness, and decency, and seeing people as human beings is important. It is boiling someone down to just what they look like and just what their appearances are. It’s also a very poor educator of what healthy sexuality is. The way sex works in porn is not the way sex works in real life. It’s like watching the Rocky movies for like actual boxing techniques. Like, turns out using your head to wear out your opponent isn’t a real technique, (laughs) Rocky 3. I’m looking at you. – Knock me out! Come on, knock me out! – Movies aren’t reality. And porn is especially egregious because a lot of people model what they want to try in the bedroom after what they watch on their computer screens. And what they watch on their computer screens is often abusive, or at the very least not based in reality in the actual sexual response. And it’s not based in respect. So, there are a lot of different reasons to want to quit. For me, personally, I felt kind of like the light inside me dimming the more I consumed it. And I also felt that my views towards women were shifting in a way that I wasn’t comfortable with that weren’t in line with who I was. And yet it was really, really difficult to stop. because porn is exciting. Because when you’re sad, or when you’re anxious, or when you’re afraid, or when you’re angry it’s a release, it’s a distraction. And because of the release of dopamine, porn is often accompanied by masturbation, because of that dopamine release over, and over, and over again it becomes habit forming. You feel like you want to chase that, the same way I chase the Oreo shake from Chick-fil-A. You know, Chick-fil-A’s Oreo shake is literally the best thing on the planet. And I just keep going after it because of that dopamine release every single time. So, how do we leave this behind? – How? – Yes. – How do we move on? The first thing is to recognize and ask yourself, do I really want to be done with this? And if you’re being honest, if you’re in the middle of it for most people it’s a partial yes and a partial no. Yes, for all the reasons I’ve listed. No, because in a pinch, in a bind, it does provide that release. So, the first thing is to walk towards full commitment. And I say walk towards it because there are all sorts of powerful inspirational stories of people who said, I decided to quit cold turkey. And from that day on I never watched it again, just like there are stories of people who I had a two pack a day cigarette habit, and then I just quit, right, or I just stopped drinking. And while those stories are inspirational, and they do happen, more often they cause discouragement for the rest of us for whom quitting a habit is a process and takes time. And if we think that others can just stop, and why can’t we stop, then we tend to feel like failures. So, let me tell you what has helped me and what has helped people that I’ve worked with who wanted to leave this behind? – Okay, I’m listening. The first thing is to walk towards full commitment. When I say walk towards full commitment, that means even though you don’t plan to stumble, you recognize that stumbles are likely going to happen. I went from a daily habit to wanting to quit cold turkey. And I was getting frustrated with myself because I was still slipping up. And I was talking to basically my sponsor (laughs) about that I didn’t think I was ever gonna be able to leave this behind. And then he said, well, how much are you watching porn now? I’m like once or twice a month. And they’re like, and this was daily before? And I’m like, yeah. And they’re like, so you’ve gone from 30 times a month to once or twice a month. I’m like, yeah. (laughs) And they said that’s huge, celebrate that! Celebrate that progress! Celebrate that, slip-ups, okay, slip-ups are gonna happen. But how many days have you not, right? The second thing is to eliminate black or white thinking. Black or white thinking is all or nothing thinking. It’s I’m either a success or I’m a failure, period. The fact is, just like getting in better shape, just like developing a new habit, just like learning to be a better lover, a better partner, a better spouse, a better parent, a better friend, just like learning anything, it takes time. And the fact is, stopping porn is a learned behavior. You have to learn to do something else with those negative feelings, with that stress, with that anxiety, with that depression, with that sadness, with that anger. You have to learn to replace it with something else. And that takes time to find the right replacements. But that’s the third step is find the healthy replacements. Ask yourself when and where, right? When, where, and why? When do I consume porn, right? Is it alone at night in my bedroom? Is it at the office? Where am I most likely to do this, and when? Is it after lunch? Is it after breakfast? Is it at a certain time in the afternoon? Or is it not at a certain time? Is it when I’m feeling a certain way, when certain things are going on, right? I just had a fight with my spouse. Or I don’t know how we’re gonna pay our bills this month. Or my kids are making me want to pull my hair out. The thing about pornography is most people think it’s about sex. It’s really about dealing with emotions. – Agree, agree. – Right, the sex is just the flavor. Like, that’s just what the form that it takes is that sexual release. But people turn to alcohol, they turn to drugs. They turn to cigarettes, they turn to violence. They turn to all sorts of things. They turn to hours, and hours, and hours of Netflix just to make stuff go away, right, just to deal with what’s going on in here. Ask yourself when, where, and why? And then interrupt the sequence. If it’s, you know, right after your lunch break, okay, what are you gonna do right after your lunch break instead to feel a release, to feel good? Are you gonna go for a walk around the block? Are you gonna do some pushups? Are you gonna listen to some Enya? I don’t know what you’re gonna do? ♪ Who can say where the road ♪ When it comes to the emotions, identify when am I most likely to watch porn? Surprisingly, it’s not when you’re turned on, right? You watch porn to get turned on. Because getting turned on is replacing stress, and sadness, and anger, and whatever else is going on in here and here. When am I most likely to watch it? Like, what am I feeling? And what am I going to do to feel good instead? Healthy replacements are key. The fourth thing is to recognize that healthy replacements feel good and bring peace, but they don’t have the rush of doing something naughty. They don’t have the rush of doing something that maybe you’re morally opposed to, and that you’re going to have to embrace life without that rush. Or maybe finding another way to get an adrenaline rush. Become a skydiver, right? Become a rock climber, take up speed biking, I don’t know. But there’s a little rush from doing something that’s “wrong” that we don’t get from doing what’s right. And nobody really talks about that. But for me, I actually had to mourn the loss of the rush. I was making a trade. I wanted peace. I wanted peace here and here. I wanted to live in alignment with my values. I didn’t want to support an industry that does so much harm both to the consumers, but also to the actors. – Porn is bad. – I didn’t want to be taking part of something that was shifting my perceptions of women, and of sexuality, and of myself. Because the fact is I hated my body when I was watching porn because I didn’t look like those guys. I wanted a major shift towards really loving myself, seeing women differently, and approaching sexuality from a realistic, healthy way. And so I made that shift. And I realized I was making a trade. I was trading one thing for the other. And I was trading that little endorphin rush of doing something wrong for the piece of doing something that I believed was right. I built in safeguards. What that looked like was, okay, I am most susceptible on my computer. So I’m gonna make sure the door is open when I’m using the computer. I’m gonna be in a public place. And I’m gonna be where anyone could walk up at any time and see what I’m doing. And I had uplifting videos that I could watch. I had a playlist pulled up that when I felt pulled to watch porn I’d be like, I’m gonna watch this instead. I’m gonna fill myself with a little bit of light, instead of a little bit of darkness. And I’m not even trying to moralize. I’m just saying, like, there’s no real connection or beauty in porn. You could argue maybe with some erotica, some relationship-based erotica that there is, but definitely not in porn. Porn’s all like milkman, step sister, ridiculous crap. Like, it’s ick. Anyways, so those are my safeguards. And then when the safeguards failed I had someone I could call. I had someone I could talk to. And the best thing for me was I would just get out. Because oftentimes I’d be working, and I’d be stressed and overworked from all the work that I had to do. And the temptation would come because I was stressed. And I can tell you, there’s no amount of work that you can’t walk away for 15 minutes. Because you’re gonna spend those 15 minutes watching porn anyway. So go outside, and go for a walk around the block. I found that just going out for a little bit, by the time I got back. It was either the draw was either gone, or it was manageable. They say the cure for addiction isn’t sobriety, it’s connection. And there’s truth to this. Porn use, porn compulsion, porn addiction, whatever you want to call it thrives in secrecy, right? It thrives when you feel ashamed. It thrives when you don’t feel like you can tell anybody. What if they knew, what would they think of you, right? Would they still accept you, would they reject you? So we keep it to ourselves, and we do it in secret. Then, because we don’t want to tell anybody, we don’t get help, we don’t get support. So, open up, that’d be my fifth step is open up. Maybe sixth, I think I might’ve lost track of my numbers. But open up, find someone you can talk to about this. Don’t bear this alone. Have someone you can talk to when you’re struggling. These are my ideas, not just my ideas. These are tools that have been proven to work in helping people to leave behind a porn compulsion. And I hope it helps you. If you enjoyed this video, I wanted to point you to, is addiction a mental illness or a way of coping? Also, like, subscribe, click the bell. How do you cope with stress, anxiety, depression? What healthy skills, tools do you have? Let us know in the comments below. How would you overcome a porn habit? Let us know in the comments below. If you are struggling with this, or no matter what you are struggling with, Mended Light is here to help you. We have therapists who are qualified and ready to serve you. So, please, in the description below you will find links to set up a complementary 15-minute discovery call with a member of my team. And they are standing by ready to help. I’m Jonathan Decker of Mended Life. If you have any questions you’d like to ask me for this segment, let me know in the comments below. And I will see you next time. Oh, there it is, that’s the video I was telling you about. You got time, you know you got time for another one. Click it, click it! .
Déroulement de la vidéo:
0.28 – How can you get free from
porn addiction and porn use?
0.28 I&;m Jonathan Decker, licensed
therapist with Mended Light.
0.28 And this is ask a
therapist, let&;s do this.
0.28 ♪ Mended Light ♪
0.28 (rhythmic instrumental music)
0.28 I get questions all
the time from you guys.
0.28 And one that comes up often
0.28 is how do I get free from porn addiction?
0.28 And a lot of people say, well,
0.28 you can&;t get addicted to porn.
0.28 It&;s not a substance.
0.28 So, maybe we say porn compulsion.
0.28 I don&;t really care.
0.28 What it really comes down to is using porn
0.28 as a way to cope with life,
using porn as an escape,
0.28 and it getting in the way
of your daily functioning,
0.28 whether you&;re not getting your work done,
0.28 whether you&;re not connecting
with your spouse and family.
0.28 People have a lot of reasons
for not watching porn.
0.28 For some it&;s the amount of time consumed,
0.28 it&;s the amount of energy.
0.28 For some it&;s a moral opposition,
0.28 either for theological reasons
or because the porn industry,
0.28 there&;s so many awful
things that&;s connected
0.28 to sexual abuse tied to the mafia.
0.28 And as somebody who
has quit watching porn,
0.28 I can tell you it doesn&;t
portray healthy relationships.
0.28 It&;s all objectification,
it&;s all what&;s taboo.
0.28 I mean, there&;s not a lot of love,
0.28 and tenderness, and kindness, and decency,
0.28 and seeing people as
human beings is important.
0.28 It is boiling someone down
to just what they look like
0.28 and just what their appearances are.
0.28 It&;s also a very poor educator
of what healthy sexuality is.
0.28 The way sex works in porn is not
0.28 the way sex works in real life.
0.28 It&;s like watching the Rocky movies
0.28 for like actual boxing techniques.
0.28 Like, turns out using your
head to wear out your opponent
0.28 isn&;t a real technique, (laughs) Rocky 3.
0.28 I&;m looking at you.
0.28 – Knock me out!
0.28 Come on, knock me out!
0.28 – Movies aren&;t reality.
0.28 And porn is especially
egregious because a lot
0.28 of people model what they
want to try in the bedroom
0.28 after what they watch on
their computer screens.
0.28 And what they watch on
their computer screens
0.28 is often abusive, or at
the very least not based
0.28 in reality in the actual sexual response.
0.28 And it&;s not based in respect.
0.28 So, there are a lot of different
reasons to want to quit.
0.28 For me, personally, I felt kind of like
0.28 the light inside me dimming
the more I consumed it.
0.28 And I also felt that
my views towards women
0.28 were shifting in a way
that I wasn&;t comfortable
0.28 with that weren&;t in line with who I was.
0.28 And yet it was really,
really difficult to stop.
0.28 because porn is exciting.
0.28 Because when you&;re sad,
or when you&;re anxious,
0.28 or when you&;re afraid,
or when you&;re angry
0.28 it&;s a release, it&;s a distraction.
0.28 And because of the release of dopamine,
0.28 porn is often accompanied by masturbation,
0.28 because of that dopamine
release over, and over,
0.28 and over again it becomes habit forming.
0.28 You feel like you want to chase that,
0.28 the same way I chase the
Oreo shake from Chick-fil-A.
0.28 You know, Chick-fil-A&;s Oreo shake
0.28 is literally the best thing on the planet.
0.28 And I just keep going after it
0.28 because of that dopamine
release every single time.
0.28 So, how do we leave this behind?
0.28 – How?
– Yes.
0.28 – How do we move on?
0.28 The first thing is to
recognize and ask yourself,
0.28 do I really want to be done with this?
0.28 And if you&;re being honest,
if you&;re in the middle of it
0.28 for most people it&;s a
partial yes and a partial no.
0.28 Yes, for all the reasons I&;ve listed.
0.28 No, because in a pinch, in a bind,
0.28 it does provide that release.
0.28 So, the first thing is to
walk towards full commitment.
0.28 And I say walk towards it
because there are all sorts
0.28 of powerful inspirational
stories of people
0.28 who said, I decided to quit cold turkey.
0.28 And from that day on I
never watched it again,
0.28 just like there are stories of people
0.28 who I had a two pack
a day cigarette habit,
0.28 and then I just quit, right,
or I just stopped drinking.
0.28 And while those stories are inspirational,
0.28 and they do happen, more often
they cause discouragement
0.28 for the rest of us for whom quitting
0.28 a habit is a process and takes time.
0.28 And if we think that others can just stop,
0.28 and why can&;t we stop, then
we tend to feel like failures.
0.28 So, let me tell you what has helped me
0.28 and what has helped people
that I&;ve worked with
0.28 who wanted to leave this behind?
0.28 – Okay, I&;m listening.
0.28 The first thing is to walk
towards full commitment.
0.28 When I say walk towards full commitment,
0.28 that means even though
you don&;t plan to stumble,
0.28 you recognize that stumbles
are likely going to happen.
0.28 I went from a daily habit to
wanting to quit cold turkey.
0.28 And I was getting frustrated with myself
0.28 because I was still slipping up.
0.28 And I was talking to
basically my sponsor (laughs)
0.28 about that I didn&;t think I was ever
0.28 gonna be able to leave this behind.
0.28 And then he said, well, how
much are you watching porn now?
0.28 I&;m like once or twice a month.
0.28 And they&;re like, and
this was daily before?
0.28 And I&;m like, yeah.
0.28 And they&;re like, so you&;ve gone
0.28 from 30 times a month to
once or twice a month.
0.28 I&;m like, yeah. (laughs)
0.28 And they said that&;s huge, celebrate that!
0.28 Celebrate that progress!
0.28 Celebrate that, slip-ups, okay,
slip-ups are gonna happen.
0.28 But how many days have you not, right?
0.28 The second thing is to eliminate
black or white thinking.
0.28 Black or white thinking is
all or nothing thinking.
0.28 It&;s I&;m either a success
or I&;m a failure, period.
0.28 The fact is, just like
getting in better shape,
0.28 just like developing a new habit,
0.28 just like learning to be a better lover,
0.28 a better partner, a better spouse,
0.28 a better parent, a better friend,
0.28 just like learning
anything, it takes time.
0.28 And the fact is, stopping
porn is a learned behavior.
0.28 You have to learn to do something else
0.28 with those negative
feelings, with that stress,
0.28 with that anxiety, with that depression,
0.28 with that sadness, with that anger.
0.28 You have to learn to replace
it with something else.
0.28 And that takes time to find
the right replacements.
0.28 But that&;s the third step is
find the healthy replacements.
0.28 Ask yourself when and where, right?
0.28 When, where, and why?
0.28 When do I consume porn, right?
0.28 Is it alone at night in my bedroom?
0.28 Is it at the office?
0.28 Where am I most likely
to do this, and when?
0.28 Is it after lunch?
0.28 Is it after breakfast?
0.28 Is it at a certain time in the afternoon?
0.28 Or is it not at a certain time?
0.28 Is it when I&;m feeling a certain way,
0.28 when certain things are going on, right?
0.28 I just had a fight with my spouse.
0.28 Or I don&;t know how we&;re
gonna pay our bills this month.
0.28 Or my kids are making me
want to pull my hair out.
0.28 The thing about pornography
0.28 is most people think it&;s about sex.
0.28 It&;s really about dealing with emotions.
0.28 – Agree, agree.
0.28 – Right, the sex is just the flavor.
0.28 Like, that&;s just what the form
0.28 that it takes is that sexual release.
0.28 But people turn to alcohol,
they turn to drugs.
0.28 They turn to cigarettes,
they turn to violence.
0.28 They turn to all sorts of things.
0.28 They turn to hours, and
hours, and hours of Netflix
0.28 just to make stuff go away, right,
0.28 just to deal with what&;s going on in here.
0.28 Ask yourself when, where, and why?
0.28 And then interrupt the sequence.
0.28 If it&;s, you know, right
after your lunch break,
0.28 okay, what are you gonna do
right after your lunch break
0.28 instead to feel a release, to feel good?
0.28 Are you gonna go for a
walk around the block?
0.28 Are you gonna do some pushups?
0.28 Are you gonna listen to some Enya?
0.28 I don&;t know what you&;re gonna do?
0.28 ♪ Who can say where the road ♪
0.28 When it comes to the emotions,
0.28 identify when am I most
likely to watch porn?
0.28 Surprisingly, it&;s not when
you&;re turned on, right?
0.28 You watch porn to get turned on.
0.28 Because getting turned on is
replacing stress, and sadness,
0.28 and anger, and whatever else
is going on in here and here.
0.28 When am I most likely to watch it?
0.28 Like, what am I feeling?
0.28 And what am I going to
do to feel good instead?
0.28 Healthy replacements are key.
0.28 The fourth thing is to recognize
0.28 that healthy replacements
feel good and bring peace,
0.28 but they don&;t have the rush
of doing something naughty.
0.28 They don&;t have the
rush of doing something
0.28 that maybe you&;re morally opposed to,
0.28 and that you&;re going to have
0.28 to embrace life without that rush.
0.28 Or maybe finding another way
to get an adrenaline rush.
0.28 Become a skydiver, right?
0.28 Become a rock climber, take
up speed biking, I don&;t know.
0.28 But there&;s a little
rush from doing something
0.28 that&;s "wrong" that we don&;t
get from doing what&;s right.
0.28 And nobody really talks about that.
0.28 But for me, I actually had to
mourn the loss of the rush.
0.28 I was making a trade.
0.28 I wanted peace.
0.28 I wanted peace here and here.
0.28 I wanted to live in
alignment with my values.
0.28 I didn&;t want to support
an industry that does
0.28 so much harm both to the
consumers, but also to the actors.
0.28 – Porn is bad.
0.28 – I didn&;t want to be
taking part of something
0.28 that was shifting my perceptions of women,
0.28 and of sexuality, and of myself.
0.28 Because the fact is I hated my
body when I was watching porn
0.28 because I didn&;t look like those guys.
0.28 I wanted a major shift
towards really loving myself,
0.28 seeing women differently, and approaching
0.28 sexuality from a realistic, healthy way.
0.28 And so I made that shift.
0.28 And I realized I was making a trade.
0.28 I was trading one thing for the other.
0.28 And I was trading that
little endorphin rush
0.28 of doing something wrong for the piece
0.28 of doing something that
I believed was right.
0.28 I built in safeguards.
0.28 What that looked like was, okay,
0.28 I am most susceptible on my computer.
0.28 So I&;m gonna make sure the door
0.28 is open when I&;m using the computer.
0.28 I&;m gonna be in a public place.
0.28 And I&;m gonna be where
anyone could walk up
0.28 at any time and see what I&;m doing.
0.28 And I had uplifting
videos that I could watch.
0.28 I had a playlist pulled
up that when I felt pulled
0.28 to watch porn I&;d be like,
I&;m gonna watch this instead.
0.28 I&;m gonna fill myself with
a little bit of light,
0.28 instead of a little bit of darkness.
0.28 And I&;m not even trying to moralize.
0.28 I&;m just saying, like, there&;s no
0.28 real connection or beauty in porn.
0.28 You could argue maybe with some erotica,
0.28 some relationship-based
erotica that there is,
0.28 but definitely not in porn.
0.28 Porn&;s all like milkman,
step sister, ridiculous crap.
0.28 Like, it&;s ick.
0.28 Anyways, so those are my safeguards.
0.28 And then when the safeguards failed
0.28 I had someone I could call.
0.28 I had someone I could talk to.
0.28 And the best thing for me
was I would just get out.
0.28 Because oftentimes I&;d be
working, and I&;d be stressed
0.28 and overworked from all
the work that I had to do.
0.28 And the temptation would
come because I was stressed.
0.28 And I can tell you,
there&;s no amount of work
0.28 that you can&;t walk away for 15 minutes.
0.28 Because you&;re gonna spend
0.28 those 15 minutes watching porn anyway.
0.28 So go outside, and go for
a walk around the block.
0.28 I found that just going out
0.28 for a little bit, by the time I got back.
0.28 It was either the draw was either gone,
0.28 or it was manageable.
0.28 They say the cure for addiction
0.28 isn&;t sobriety, it&;s connection.
0.28 And there&;s truth to this.
0.28 Porn use, porn compulsion, porn addiction,
0.28 whatever you want to call it
thrives in secrecy, right?
0.28 It thrives when you feel ashamed.
0.28 It thrives when you don&;t feel
like you can tell anybody.
0.28 What if they knew, what would
they think of you, right?
0.28 Would they still accept
you, would they reject you?
0.28 So we keep it to ourselves,
and we do it in secret.
0.28 Then, because we don&;t
want to tell anybody,
0.28 we don&;t get help, we don&;t get support.
0.28 So, open up, that&;d be
my fifth step is open up.
0.28 Maybe sixth, I think I might&;ve
lost track of my numbers.
0.28 But open up, find someone
you can talk to about this.
0.28 Don&;t bear this alone.
0.28 Have someone you can talk
to when you&;re struggling.
0.28 These are my ideas, not just my ideas.
0.28 These are tools that
have been proven to work
0.28 in helping people to leave
behind a porn compulsion.
0.28 And I hope it helps you.
0.28 If you enjoyed this video,
I wanted to point you to,
0.28 is addiction a mental
illness or a way of coping?
0.28 Also, like, subscribe, click the bell.
0.28 How do you cope with
stress, anxiety, depression?
0.28 What healthy skills, tools do you have?
0.28 Let us know in the comments below.
0.28 How would you overcome a porn habit?
0.28 Let us know in the comments below.
0.28 If you are struggling with this,
0.28 or no matter what you are struggling with,
0.28 Mended Light is here to help you.
0.28 We have therapists who are
qualified and ready to serve you.
0.28 So, please, in the description
below you will find links
0.28 to set up a complementary 15-minute
0.28 discovery call with a member of my team.
0.28 And they are standing by ready to help.
0.28 I&;m Jonathan Decker of Mended Life.
0.28 If you have any questions
you&;d like to ask me
0.28 for this segment, let me
know in the comments below.
0.28 And I will see you next time.
0.28 Oh, there it is, that&;s the
video I was telling you about.
0.28 You got time, you know you
got time for another one.
0.28 Click it, click it!
.
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