Youtube (pornographie): Élevé sur le porno

Un contenu signé Magic Lantern Pictures autour de « pornographie »

Une vidéo vient d’être postée par Magic Lantern Pictures sur YouTube
focalisé sur « pornographie »:
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Quand nous avons consulté cette vidéo, elle semblait attirer des vues. Le compteur de Likes indiquait: 67559.

Il est important de noter la durée (00:36:58s), le titre (Raised on Porn « Signez la pétition exigeant la vérification de l’âge sur les sites pornographiques: https://go.exoduscry.com/sign aide à protéger 1 million d’enfants. Donnez ici: https://go.exoduscry.com/protect comme, commentaire et partager pour aider! Taux sur IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/TT15226132/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 Site de film: https://raisedonporn.com Ressources pour les parents ou les consommateurs porno en difficulté: https://exoduscry.com/pcnp/resources/ Éducation pour les enfants et déballe les implications dangereuses de ce phénomène mondial. Grâce à des comptes de première main fascinants, à des reconstitutions cinématographiques, à l’animation 3D et à des interviews avec les principaux neurologues, sociologues, psychologues et thérapeutes du monde, élevés sur le porno, est rempli à ras bord, de façon brute et convaincante sur la façon dont la pornographie nous empoisonne et nos relations. Ce film brise les mythes culturels sur la nature «inoffensive» de la pornographie et fournit un cadre qui donne à réfléchir pour comprendre comment ce genre graphique des médias a façonné notre monde, suscitant un appel à changement désespérément nécessaire. Avertissement de contenu: Bien que le film ne contient aucune nudité, il présente des discussions et des images de nature sexuelle que certains téléspectateurs trouveront dérangeant. Nos éditeurs ont travaillé dur pour créer quelque chose qui est observable pour la plupart des téléspectateurs tout en transmettant l’essence du problème. Nous recommandons le film pour les adolescents matures et plus. #Documentary #Addiction #SexAddiction #PornAddiction ».

Sur YouTube, les utilisateurs peuvent partager des vidéos qui abordent une gamme de sujets variés, allant de l’éducation à des intérêts personnels, dans un cadre où la sécurité, l’anonymat et la diversité sont des priorités. Chaque vidéo peut offrir une perspective unique tout en restant fidèle aux normes communautaires.

Définir une stratégie adaptée afin d’entamer un sevrage durable

Organiser un lieu qui soutient la récupération

Limiter l’accès aux contenus pornographiques avec des outils tels que des extensions de navigateur ou des applications de contrôle parental est une approche utile. Promouvoir des activités créatives et productives peut aussi être un moyen de réduire les compulsions.

Élaborer des pratiques pour gérer les désirs excessifs

L’un des aspects importants de la gestion des comportements indésirables est la reconnaissance des déclencheurs. La TCC, les activités constructives et le soutien de proches sont des outils essentiels.

Énoncer des objectifs réalisables et bien définis

Le succès du sevrage passe par des objectifs clairs, par exemple réduire le temps passé devant des contenus pornographiques. Cette démarche doit également comprendre une réflexion sur les origines de la dépendance et les avantages durables de l’arrêt.

Analyser les différentes ressources d’assistance

Se servir des applications et outils en ligne pour le suivi de son progrès

Des applications et des outils numériques permettent non seulement de suivre les progrès, mais aussi d’envoyer des rappels positifs et de renforcer les habitudes saines pour limiter l’exposition à la pornographie.

Intégrer un groupe d’accompagnement et de soutien

Les groupes de soutien sont des espaces sécurisés où l’on peut partager son vécu, apprendre des stratégies éprouvées et se soutenir mutuellement dans le processus de guérison.

Se faire accompagner par un spécialiste en santé mentale

Se tourner vers un thérapeute expert en dépendances comportementales, comme un psychologue utilisant la TCC, permet de repérer les causes sous-jacentes et de bénéficier d’un accompagnement sur mesure.

Construire un soi authentique en se déconnectant de la pornographie

Adopter une approche éthique de la sexualité

S’engager dans une approche de la sexualité respectueuse et réfléchie est essentiel pour des relations épanouies Arrêter la pornographie est un processus qui exige une compréhension des mécanismes de dépendance, des outils adéquats et un soutien constant. En suivant un plan structuré, il est possible de surmonter cette dépendance et de retrouver un équilibre personnel et une sexualité saine. Trouver un accompagnement spécialisé permet de mieux comprendre et gérer les dépendances (voir à ce sujet le lien sur le site très connu chasteté.fr).

Des liens sincères favorisent l’épanouissement personnel

Les relations réelles renforcent l’épanouissement sexuel et remplacent les attentes irréalistes des contenus en ligne

Mettre en place des habitudes équilibrées et conscientes

S’investir dans des activités qui renforcent l’équilibre corps-esprit, telles que la méditation ou le yoga, aide à réduire les comportements compulsifs

Décoder les mécanismes de l’addiction au contenu pornographique

Évaluer les ressorts psychologiques à l’origine des comportements

Le circuit de récompense, suractivé par la pornographie, conditionne le cerveau à rechercher continuellement cette stimulation, intensifiant la dépendance et le mal-être psychologique.

Étudier les conséquences du porno sur la gestion de la vie personnelle

L’addiction affecte les relations personnelles, réduit l’estime de soi et freine les interactions émotionnelles authentiques. Une consommation abusive de porno peut renforcer une dépendance émotionnelle axée sur ces supports

Repérer les signaux d’alerte de dépendance

La consommation compulsive de pornographie, souvent associée à des sentiments de honte, perturbe les relations et les performances au travail.

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#Élevé #sur #porno #Film #documentaire

Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: ♪♪♪ (male)
One of the powers of innocence is the ability to have a world
that is safe to be able to play and experiment in
without the threat of danger. What happens with pornography or when sexuality intrudes
through any form of violation is you all of a sudden realize
there’s a parallel world next to yours and that if you walk
through this door, nothing will ever be the same. (male #2)
I remember being a kid
and looking at a rosebud and thinking how pretty it was. And I remember thinking, « Oh, well,
I want it to open up like a rose, so I’ll just pull back all the petals, and it’ll open up
and it’ll be beautiful like a rose. » Now I realize you can’t force that. That happens when that flower
is ready to open, and when it’s being fed
and nurtured, and it opens. And it’s very similar to a child’s
or adolescent’s sexuality. If you try to open
those petals too early, they will grow and they will open,
but they’re going to be damaged. They’re not going to be
the same person that they would’ve been. ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ (male #3)
Growing up, my dad planted
a church in a small, rural town where
everyone knows everyone. We would always hang out
on the streets playing football with the neighbors
and stuff like that. We’re in this playground,
and a friend of mine was like, « Hey, Richie, I wanna
show you a picture. » He shows me this picture
of this topless girl. These sensations
go through my body. I’m not even aware
of the language or even what to recognize
or call them, and I never forgot that. It was imprinted in my heart. The next week or so,
I’m riding my bike, and out of nowhere
this paper blows on my yard. I went over there and picked it up,
and it was a full page, like someone ripped it
out of a « Playboy Magazine. » And I was like, « This is it. This is my chance of actually
getting pornography for myself. » So I actually folded it,
put it in my pocket, and hid it in my room. Every time it was time for bed,
I would literally just take it out, lock the door,
and just start looking at it. And I remember
doing that for hours, even as a child. ♪♪♪ (Richie)
From there, porn created
this whole mental script on how to relate
to the opposite sex. And so I remember
I wanted to pursue girls, and I had no idea
how to approach them. I had no idea how to start
the conversation. All I knew was we go
to the room and have sex. So I was like how do you
start the conversation? So I’m like, well,
I’ll just be the shy type, but it’s all manipulation. And so that’s how I learned it
was be a manipulator. So when I first had a relationship,
I remember just thinking, « I hope she’s gonna be
okay with me « putting my hands on her breasts. And I hope that I can put
my hands down her pants. » In my mind, I’m hoping this happens. I’m not gonna push it. I just wanna be one of the shy guys
and just sneak it in that way, so that way I can gain her trust, and then I can go ahead
and just do what I want, what I saw in the pictures. ♪♪♪ (Robert Weiss)
There’s pretty good documentation
that the earlier someone is exposed to really explicit pornography
and sexual imagery, the more likely it is that they’re
going to have compulsive and addictive problems around
their sexuality as an adult, because that nine-year-old
does not have the emotional and biological development
to be able to really understand what the meaning is
of what he’s– He knows it’s incredibly arousing
and amazing and distracting and fun, and it feels good to look at, but their brains are
really not ready to handle it. (male #4)
Our sexuality is wired into us. The most sexual organ
is between our ears, not between our legs. So when you are developing
your brain sexually, what happens is that pornography
begins building that script, « This is the way we’re
supposed to think about it. » And so when a young person
views pornographic material, they’re neurologically now
starting to put bricks in this wall, building the structure
of what sex means. (male #5)
Adolescent brain is
not an adult brain with less experience. It is in a unique place. It is anatomically, physiologically,
and biologically different. And what occurs during adolescence is several brain changes
that have a purpose, and the purpose is
to become very excited about sensation seeking,
about rewards, about sex. And it’s to become wired up, actually changing
the structure of the brain to wire up to the environment. And it has been shown to occur
with nerve connections. The way nerves connect
and intertwine is really the basis for all learning
and all memory. So what occurs is around age 11, the adolescent brain
prunes down these connections until you’re set with the connections
that will perhaps last a lifetime. Pornography is a teacher
and modeler of sexual templates, particularly when
they’re modeled early, because it’s a powerful
neuroplasticity device. Neuroplasticity means
that our brain changes, and we change when we want
and when we learn, and we have seen it
in pornography now. People who are watching
pornography compulsively, their brains look different
from those that are not. (male #6)
A leading researcher
said recently to me, « We are in the midst
of the single largest unregulated social experiment
in human history, » and what he was talking about
was the inundation of the brains of the young children with content
that they’re not prepared to deal with. And what it is doing
is normalizing behavior that is going to affect –
particularly young boys – is going to affect
their view of women, their view of relationships,
their view of the world. ♪♪♪ (female)
A few years ago,
when I was 16, I dated this guy,
and we were both virgins. Maybe a month into our relationship,
we ended up having sex. The next morning, he was like,
« Hey, I want to show you something. » We watched porn,
and I had never seen it. I didn’t even know
it was a thing until then, but then that was when I realized
he watches this all the time. And he told me,
« I watch it all the time. It’s not a big deal. » Over the course of our relationship, the different sexual things
that he wanted to do became more and more
vile and abusive… …and scary for me. I just remember he would talk about
wanting to do certain things that he would see in porn, and he said that one
of his favorite things about porn is how at the end of some
of the more hardcore ones, the guy will punch
a girl in the nose and finish on her face, and it looks like
a cherry sundae. And I was like,
« Do not do that to me. You can’t do that to me. » And he was like, « I’m not gonna tell you
when I’m going to do it. It’ll just be a surprise. You won’t even have
to think about it before. » And I was just scared. I was really scared. I didn’t want that
to happen to me. And that was when
I broke up with him. ♪♪♪ It really just felt like I was
an object for his pleasure and like I owed him
anything he wanted. The whole point is
that he was a good guy who started watching porn, and somehow it escalated
to him thinking it’s okay to punch his girlfriend in the nose
and finish on her face. Where did that become okay? At some point in it, he stopped
seeing women as people because porn messed up his mind
and distorted his whole thinking. ♪♪♪ (male #7)
There’s this very dangerous thing that’s going on in our
culture right now where we’re not having strong enough
or more vibrant conversation with young boys
about their sexual lives. In the absence of adults having
meaningful, ongoing, open, and honest conversations with
young people about sexual behavior, their bodies, intimacy,
respecting themselves, the lack of that conversation
enables a very one-sided and dangerously one-sided
presentation of sexual behavior, which is the one
that they have access to, which in very often case
is pornography. (female #2)
We know now that boys are
accessing pornography at age 11, and that there’s an increasing
consumption of pornography from girls. And so if you think
about it this way, pornography is the biggest
sex educator. It is the most significant
influential sex educator that young people have today, so we have to look at what
they’re learning from this. (female #3)
When the average 12-year-old boy
puts « porn » into Google, he’s directed immediately
to the porntube sites such as YouPorn and PornHub. And the most accessible is
actually called gonzo porn. That’s the shorthand term
for the violent porn that has no storyline. If you want more softcore,
less violent porn, you’re gonna have to spend a good
10 to 15 minutes looking for it. And don’t tell me that the average
12-, 13-year-old boy is gonna start looking
for that for 10, 15 minutes. He’s going to go to that
which is the most accessible. (male #8)
The most popular pornography, it’s always around
how men get satisfied. It’s very, very rarely
about women’s pleasure. Women are there as instruments. They’re simply there as tools,
literally, for male pleasure. (male #9)
The images that are seen are
about sexuality fused to domination and aggressive sexuality,
a sexuality that objectifies women, treats them as nothing more
than objects for male pleasure. (Don McPherson)
It’s not about equality
or egalitarian lovemaking. It’s all about doing
something to her, not sharing something with her. You said you’ll do anything, right? Right? (female #4)
Most porn ends up with women
being not only presented as the victims of violence, but often presented as the victims
of violence who love it. I want you to do anything
you want with me. (Jean Kilbourne)
So girls are learning
to be compliant, and they’re learning
that what’s most important is to be desirable to the boys,
not that their own sexual agency or their own sexual pleasure
is important at all. (Gail Dines)
Whatever you want
to do to her, however debasing,
however violent, she says yes. So in a way, what you’re doing
is you’re socializing men into thinking that women
will consent to anything. (Don)
It teaches a very one-sided,
dangerous, emotionless, almost humanless
sexual experience that so many young men
are now seeing as being normal. This is how it happens. (female reporter)
Fourteen-year-old
high school freshman Daisy Coleman says Matthew Barnett
sexually assaulted her while she was unconscious. Barnett would later claim
the encounter was consensual. (female reporter #2)
Twenty-two-year-old Madison Smith
says the encounter started off with consensual sex, but things turned violent
when he started to strangle her and force her to perform
a sex act. (female reporter #3)
Two high school football stars
who sexual assaulted a visibly intoxicated
16-year-old girl. (female reporter #4)
During the crime,
many did not step up to help, but nearly all got out their cell phones and started snapping pictures
and tweeting. (male reporter)
Within five days, Children’s Mercy
saw 444 kids for sexual assault. (female #5)
Almost half of our perpetrators
were minors. Gagging, strangling. When a child’s acting out
with that extreme violence, you have to contribute
some of that to pornography, because it directly correlates
with the genres that kids are being exposed to. ♪♪♪ (male #10)
Now, I’ve seen numbers
of these cases that I actually worked where kids who were sexualized early
actually act out on that because they don’t have
the inhibitions or the knowledge of what the actual sexual acts are,
what they mean. Now, maybe they’ll have
the self-control to get off that, but the more time they spend
reinforcing that arousal pattern, especially if they’re
looking at violent porn, my God, that’s the worst
possible thing they could look at. Because what it will do,
it will trip the wires in their brain and will make them feel
really good about this stuff, and it will overwhelm reason
in their brain. And they could go down this road and find that they
don’t have the willpower to stop themselves from doing it, and it could surprise them
how quickly that can happen. ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ (Robert Jensen)
In previous eras,
to get sexually explicit material, you had to go
to a pornographic movie theater. You had to go to a bookstore. Now you can access pornography
sitting at home at no cost over the Internet. (Jean)
The Internet has made porn
not only accessible, it’s really made it inescapable. Because now, of course,
everybody has access to porn on their smartphone,
including children. (Robert Weiss)
Once the online world
came about, it was the game changer. I went from being a private practice
clinician with one assistant to running a clinic
with 8 therapists and 150 clients a week. I mean, the Internet
just swamped us. So many people started having
so many problems so quickly in relationship to online porn, and it was really just
the very beginning. Because I’m now seeing
25-year-old men who’ve been looking at
hardcore porn since they were 15, and they’ve never had a date, and they’ve never had sex
with a person. And online porn really feeds that
in a way that pre-digital porn didn’t. (Gary Wilson)
There are actually studies
that show that the Internet has the ability to cause
addiction-related brain changes, the same brain changes
that occur in a drug addiction. So that tells us that
the Internet is different. What’s different is the ability
to control arousal. So you’re sitting there
with your mouse, and you’re clicking
on a Facebook picture. No, I don’t want to look at that,
I want to look at that. I want to see
what George is doing. Bored with that. I want to see what
this person’s doing. Oh, what about this message?
I want to read this. And you can go on and go on, and what you’re doing is
you’re controlling your arousal. You’re controlling your dopamine. Dopamine is the motivation chemical
to drive us toward natural rewards such as eating
and achievement and falling in love
and sexual desire. (Dan Allender)
When you’re in the presence
of something as arousing as images or a drama of sexuality,
your brain is going to produce two to four times
the normal amount of dopamine, where we get the word « dope, »
which is what our brains secrete as what we call our pleasure drug, and it gives us a sense of motivation
and joy for living our lives. (Donald Hilton)
Well, food is about
150% spike of dopamine, and sex is 200%,
which is equivalent to morphine. Sexual orgasm is equivalent
to a morphine rush. That’s a pretty powerful reward. There’s also, though,
the frontal areas over our forehead. These are important in judgment and in weighing
the pleasure that we want. And so you have
these competing areas. You have this dopaminergic
drive that says do it, with this frontal break of the brain
that says think about it, weigh it. And in a way, they’re competing. In young people, those frontal
areas aren’t fully developed, and so that break isn’t there. Our frontal judgment
volitional areas aren’t developed until we’re in
our mid to late twenties. And so you have an eight-year-old
with this undeveloped brain who doesn’t really
have the ability to weigh or to judge
what they’re seeing, whether it’s harmful,
not harmful, what will the result be if they
participate in this activity? They don’t even know what it is. And so when we flood
the child’s brain with these powerful
sexual images which provide
this physical-emotional overload, the child is powerless. It’s absolutely impossible for them
to resist this kind of stimulus. (Gary)
Now, we combine that
with a young male who has high hormones
and is driven by interest, and then you combine it
with the novelty of the Internet. So all these qualities
are put together and they’re matched with
our highest natural reward and your genes’
number-one job, and that’s reproduction. And that’s what makes today’s
high-speed Internet porn so enticing. ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ (male #11)
Growing up,
I was very anti-social, never really had many friends. I’d never had a girlfriend
until just a couple years ago, so it felt like I was
missing out on something. I was very frustrated. I felt like I wasn’t
like everybody else. Then when I was
about 11, 12 years old, I found some porn magazines. Given in our household
we’d never really talked much about sexuality at all, so to see something like that
was just an adrenaline rush. It felt like what I thought
it would feel like if I had a girlfriend
or had a real relationship. And of course, my progression
goes along with technology. As the Internet came
and we got our first computer, I would sneak in there
when nobody was looking and keep on looking at porn. After a while, the stuff
that worked before doesn’t work as well,
you build up a tolerance, so it would get more edgier,
edgier stuff, stuff that I wouldn’t imagine
ever looking at. Then I found a file sharing program, which I was using to download
music and stuff like that, and there by some accident
I found illegal pornography, child porn,
and it was so easy to get. It was as easy as getting
the regular stuff. I guess my curiosity got to me, so I couldn’t believe
that it could be this easy, so I downloaded it, and I saw it,
and I got the rush. It worked. It worked like
nothing else did anymore. As much as I tried to get away
from it from time to time, I would always find
myself going back to it because I was looking for that fix. Looking back, it was
a very dark journey. I didn’t even come to terms with it
until I got caught. I was a firefighter, and I was coming back home
about a year ago, and all of a sudden I had
blue lights going behind me. Pulled me out of my truck,
handcuffed me, and put me in back of a car. (male #12)
Pathologically speaking,
were you a pedophile? (Justin)
No. (male #12)
How would you explain
reaching that point of wanting to see
a child in a sexual act? It was the dangerousness of it. It was dangerous,
it was wrong, and that part was appealing too. Just how wrong it was,
but it’s what worked. It’s like the heroin
of pornography. ♪♪♪ (William Struthers)
For each individual, it’s unclear what the outcome
of viewing pornography will be. It’s not uncommon,
the more you look at porn, the more you’re going
to stumble into things, and so you may stumble
into a genre of pornography that’s inherently violent,
like rape porn. Or you may stumble
into an area of pornography like child porn
or something like that. Most people don’t start out saying, « I want to go into this
particular type of porn. This is what I’m into. » It’s that process by which
you are now caught up in this wave of sexual arousal
and excitement. And so what happens, then, is as
you’re exposed to more things, you run the risk of now being
bound to more and more of these dangerous, really
dishonoring forms of pornography or illegal forms of pornography too. (Robert Weiss)
The sex addiction is
often about escalation. So someone could start looking
at more violent images or more abusive images
or things that they really never even thought
would turn them on. Even though they might feel
shameful or uncomfortable, it’s still intense, and it makes their heart
beat faster and faster and faster. And that’s very much what the non-substance addictions
are about. They’re about adrenaline.
They’re about endorphins. They’re about dopamine. They’re about feeling
high and excited and totally into what you’re doing
for the sake of emotional escape. (Ernie Allen)
The thing I’m most concerned
with is that escalator effect, the fact that today’s images
are not gonna satisfy you tomorrow and tomorrow’s images are
not gonna satisfy you the next day, and there is a continuing quest
for something new, for something different. And at some point, because of the basic
inclination of the person, there’s at least going
to be a temptation to experience it in real life. ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ (Richie)
My junior/senior year
of high school, I was getting more popular
with not just girls, but just with the whole school,
being homecoming king. I started getting a little bit away
from the porn a little bit. It was just an afterthought
unless something triggered it. And so I graduated
from high school, and I fell in love with this girl
who’s now my wife. We moved from this town
into actually where our family’s at and everything,
both sides of our family. It was during that time where I was
passing by a street here in town, and there was this adult store. And I remember I’m like,
« I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to go there,
because if I go there, that’s it. I’m going to go right back
to the bottom. » Sure enough, I found myself
opening the door and walking right in. This was before smartphones. This was in ’04 or ’05. And so I would just go
to the adult store as often as I could. From there, the relationship
I had with pornography was definitely progressive. So first it was just a girl,
and then it became two girls, and then it was an orgy. Then it was, ooh, all this behavior
with certain body parts, these fetishes. And I’m like, « I really like this. » And it came to a point
where it’s like, « I need to experience
what I’m seeing, because this is just amazing
what I’m seeing. But it’s just paper.
But it’s just the page. But it’s on my phone. My wife won’t do
any of this stuff. No way. She’s going to say, ‘Where are
you getting these ideas from?’ » So I’m like, « A stranger, »
paying for it, duh. I pay for it, and they do
what I tell them because I’m paying for it. And that was it. One night my wife was going
to some function at church, my kids were with my parents,
and I had my own laptop. So I go on Craigslist, and I’m like,
« What’s this personal stuff? « I can contact someone here? « I am free right now
to do whatever I want and no one knows anything. » And I said, « I’m going to call. » So I’m like, « Hi. » « Yeah, we give massages. » And I’m like, « Oh,
that’s cool, all right. » « Nude massages. » I’m like, « Oh, that’s great.
That’s fine. So when can I come? » And she’s like, « You can
come right now if you want. » And I said, « Right now? » That’s what I needed to hear,
right now. I go there, and I’m naked,
and she’s naked. I can literally feel my heart
pumping out of my chest, and my mouth dry,
and my fingers shaking, and I’m like,
« What’s going on? « What’s going on?
What’s going on? What am I doing?
What am I doing? » I’m thinking this. But because of all
those unspoken secrets, they all just started
taking over me and saying this is your chance. This is your chance
to be a porn star, where you can say and ask
the person to do whatever you want, and because you’re paying for it,
they will do it. When your wife was like,
« I don’t want to do that, » this lady here, she will. And I said in my mind,
« That is so right. That’s so true. » And so that was the lowest
I have ever been, and it was a porn dream
that I had as a child. ♪♪♪ (Richie)
After we were finished,
she looked at my ring, and she’s like,
« How are you and your wife? » And I said something so twisted. I said, « You know,
I love my wife. » And she was like, « You do? » And I said, « I do.
I need to go. » I gave her my money,
and I left, and I went in my car,
and I wept. I said, « I can’t believe I did this. Oh my gosh, this trust. Am I going to tell anyone this? » It was scary. ♪♪♪ I can take this
from you now. Okay. (male #13)
Take us back to that moment
that you found out. What did he say to you? We were lying in bed, and he asked me
to not get mad at him. He was going
to tell me something. He was like, « You promise
you won’t get mad? » And I was like, « I promise. » He’s like, « You promise
you won’t get mad? » And I was like,
« Yeah, just tell me. » And so he tells me, and it just felt like I got
punched in the heart. And he just started crying,
and I just held him. I just held him, because
I’ve messed up really bad and people would hold me. ♪♪♪ Yeah, so that was hard because
I was expressing love to him and then I felt like I didn’t even
want to be by him anymore. (Richie)
And she’s like, « Richie,
I can’t even see you right now. You need to sleep
in the boys’ room. » So I’d be in the boys’ room,
and my boys would be like, « Why are you here, Daddy? » I remember crying,
« I hurt Mama. I hurt Mommy,
and I’m here right now. » I was so broken. I just remember saying,
« I hurt Mama. » And hearing myself
saying that to my own son, my two little boys, something in my heart was like,
« I remember when I was their age. I don’t want this
to repeat in my kids. This can’t happen anymore. » ♪♪♪ .

Déroulement de la vidéo:

10.093 ♪♪♪
19.937 (male)
One of the powers of innocence is the ability to have a world
that is safe
25.192 to be able to play and experiment in
without the threat of danger.
34.034 What happens with pornography or when sexuality intrudes
through any form of violation
41.917 is you all of a sudden realize
there’s a parallel world next to yours
47.756 and that if you walk
through this door, nothing will ever be the same.
59.184 (male #2)
I remember being a kid
and looking at a rosebud and thinking how pretty it was.
64.898 And I remember thinking, « Oh, well,
I want it to open up like a rose, so I’ll just pull back all the petals,
70.279 and it’ll open up
and it’ll be beautiful like a rose. » Now I realize you can’t force that.
76.451 That happens when that flower
is ready to open, and when it’s being fed
and nurtured, and it opens.
81.623 And it’s very similar to a child’s
or adolescent’s sexuality. If you try to open
those petals too early,
89.131 they will grow and they will open,
but they’re going to be damaged. They’re not going to be
the same person
94.928 that they would’ve been. ♪♪♪
107.274 ♪♪♪
116.033 (male #3)
Growing up, my dad planted
a church in a small, rural town where
everyone knows everyone.
124.041 We would always hang out
on the streets playing football with the neighbors
and stuff like that.
130.964 We’re in this playground,
and a friend of mine was like, « Hey, Richie, I wanna
show you a picture. »
138.305 He shows me this picture
of this topless girl.
143.393 These sensations
go through my body. I’m not even aware
of the language or even what to recognize
or call them,
149.649 and I never forgot that. It was imprinted in my heart.
155.155 The next week or so,
I’m riding my bike, and out of nowhere
this paper blows on my yard.
164.706 I went over there and picked it up,
and it was a full page, like someone ripped it
out of a « Playboy Magazine. »
172.506 And I was like, « This is it. This is my chance of actually
getting pornography for myself. »
180.597 So I actually folded it,
put it in my pocket, and hid it in my room. Every time it was time for bed,
I would literally just take it out,
188.73 lock the door,
and just start looking at it. And I remember
doing that for hours,
194.903 even as a child. ♪♪♪
204.579 (Richie)
From there, porn created
this whole mental script
210.001 on how to relate
to the opposite sex. And so I remember
I wanted to pursue girls,
218.218 and I had no idea
how to approach them. I had no idea how to start
the conversation.
224.224 All I knew was we go
to the room and have sex.
230.397 So I was like how do you
start the conversation? So I’m like, well,
I’ll just be the shy type,
241.074 but it’s all manipulation. And so that’s how I learned it
was be a manipulator.
251.626 So when I first had a relationship,
I remember just thinking,
257.674 « I hope she’s gonna be
okay with me « putting my hands on her breasts.
262.929 And I hope that I can put
my hands down her pants. » In my mind, I’m hoping this happens. I’m not gonna push it.
269.269 I just wanna be one of the shy guys
and just sneak it in that way, so that way I can gain her trust,
275.567 and then I can go ahead
and just do what I want, what I saw in the pictures.
281.781 ♪♪♪
301.218 (Robert Weiss)
There’s pretty good documentation
that the earlier someone is exposed to really explicit pornography
and sexual imagery,
308.517 the more likely it is that they’re
going to have compulsive and addictive problems around
their sexuality as an adult,
316.149 because that nine-year-old
does not have the emotional and biological development
to be able to really understand
323.156 what the meaning is
of what he’s– He knows it’s incredibly arousing
and amazing and distracting and fun, and it feels good to look at,
329.246 but their brains are
really not ready to handle it.
335.669 (male #4)
Our sexuality is wired into us. The most sexual organ
is between our ears,
341.091 not between our legs. So when you are developing
your brain sexually,
347.013 what happens is that pornography
begins building that script, « This is the way we’re
supposed to think about it. »
353.895 And so when a young person
views pornographic material, they’re neurologically now
starting to put bricks in this wall,
360.735 building the structure
of what sex means. (male #5)
Adolescent brain is
not an adult brain with less experience.
368.952 It is in a unique place. It is anatomically, physiologically,
and biologically different.
374.207 And what occurs during adolescence is several brain changes
that have a purpose,
380.213 and the purpose is
to become very excited about sensation seeking,
about rewards, about sex.
389.598 And it’s to become wired up, actually changing
the structure of the brain to wire up to the environment.
396.896 And it has been shown to occur
with nerve connections. The way nerves connect
and intertwine
403.403 is really the basis for all learning
and all memory. So what occurs is around age 11,
411.244 the adolescent brain
prunes down these connections until you’re set with the connections
that will perhaps last a lifetime.
421.004 Pornography is a teacher
and modeler of sexual templates,
426.134 particularly when
they’re modeled early, because it’s a powerful
neuroplasticity device.
435.06 Neuroplasticity means
that our brain changes, and we change when we want
and when we learn,
440.982 and we have seen it
in pornography now. People who are watching
pornography compulsively,
446.112 their brains look different
from those that are not.
451.201 (male #6)
A leading researcher
said recently to me, « We are in the midst
of the single largest
456.998 unregulated social experiment
in human history, » and what he was talking about
was the inundation of the brains
466.299 of the young children with content
that they’re not prepared to deal with.
473.473 And what it is doing
is normalizing behavior that is going to affect –
particularly young boys –
480.98 is going to affect
their view of women, their view of relationships,
their view of the world.
487.529 ♪♪♪
505.714 (female)
A few years ago,
when I was 16,
511.219 I dated this guy,
and we were both virgins.
518.518 Maybe a month into our relationship,
we ended up having sex.
524.315 The next morning, he was like,
« Hey, I want to show you something. »
531.364 We watched porn,
and I had never seen it. I didn’t even know
it was a thing until then,
538.163 but then that was when I realized
he watches this all the time. And he told me,
« I watch it all the time.
543.752 It’s not a big deal. » Over the course of our relationship, the different sexual things
that he wanted to do
551.468 became more and more
vile and abusive…
559.058 …and scary for me.
564.731 I just remember he would talk about
wanting to do certain things that he would see in porn,
572.197 and he said that one
of his favorite things about porn
578.453 is how at the end of some
of the more hardcore ones,
587.212 the guy will punch
a girl in the nose
598.014 and finish on her face, and it looks like
a cherry sundae.
605.104 And I was like,
« Do not do that to me. You can’t do that to me. » And he was like, « I’m not gonna tell you
when I’m going to do it.
611.736 It’ll just be a surprise. You won’t even have
to think about it before. » And I was just scared.
621.162 I was really scared. I didn’t want that
to happen to me. And that was when
I broke up with him.
628.545 ♪♪♪
634.175 It really just felt like I was
an object for his pleasure
640.682 and like I owed him
anything he wanted.
646.02 The whole point is
that he was a good guy who started watching porn,
652.402 and somehow it escalated
to him thinking it’s okay to punch his girlfriend in the nose
and finish on her face.
662.62 Where did that become okay? At some point in it, he stopped
seeing women as people
668.501 because porn messed up his mind
and distorted his whole thinking.
679.721 ♪♪♪
691.9 (male #7)
There’s this very dangerous thing that’s going on in our
culture right now where we’re not having strong enough
or more vibrant conversation
698.323 with young boys
about their sexual lives. In the absence of adults having
meaningful, ongoing, open,
706.664 and honest conversations with
young people about sexual behavior, their bodies, intimacy,
respecting themselves,
714.422 the lack of that conversation
enables a very one-sided and dangerously one-sided
presentation of sexual behavior,
721.304 which is the one
that they have access to, which in very often case
is pornography.
730.48 (female #2)
We know now that boys are
accessing pornography at age 11, and that there’s an increasing
consumption of pornography from girls.
740.073 And so if you think
about it this way, pornography is the biggest
sex educator. It is the most significant
influential sex educator
747.205 that young people have today, so we have to look at what
they’re learning from this.
754.587 (female #3)
When the average 12-year-old boy
puts « porn » into Google, he’s directed immediately
to the porntube sites
761.928 such as YouPorn and PornHub. And the most accessible is
actually called gonzo porn.
768.893 That’s the shorthand term
for the violent porn that has no storyline.
774.732 If you want more softcore,
less violent porn, you’re gonna have to spend a good
10 to 15 minutes looking for it.
780.697 And don’t tell me that the average
12-, 13-year-old boy is gonna start looking
for that for 10, 15 minutes.
786.577 He’s going to go to that
which is the most accessible.
793.835 (male #8)
The most popular pornography, it’s always around
how men get satisfied.
800.133 It’s very, very rarely
about women’s pleasure. Women are there as instruments.
806.264 They’re simply there as tools,
literally, for male pleasure.
811.853 (male #9)
The images that are seen are
about sexuality fused to domination and aggressive sexuality,
a sexuality that objectifies women,
821.654 treats them as nothing more
than objects for male pleasure. (Don McPherson)
It’s not about equality
or egalitarian lovemaking.
829.829 It’s all about doing
something to her, not sharing something with her.
837.628 You said you’ll do anything, right? Right? (female #4)
Most porn ends up with women
being not only presented
845.428 as the victims of violence, but often presented as the victims
of violence who love it.
851.684 I want you to do anything
you want with me. (Jean Kilbourne)
So girls are learning
to be compliant,
858.524 and they’re learning
that what’s most important is to be desirable to the boys,
not that their own sexual agency
866.032 or their own sexual pleasure
is important at all.
872.288 (Gail Dines)
Whatever you want
to do to her, however debasing,
however violent,
878.377 she says yes. So in a way, what you’re doing
is you’re socializing men
884.175 into thinking that women
will consent to anything. (Don)
It teaches a very one-sided,
dangerous, emotionless,
892.225 almost humanless
sexual experience that so many young men
are now seeing as being normal. This is how it happens.
900.066 (female reporter)
Fourteen-year-old
high school freshman Daisy Coleman says Matthew Barnett
sexually assaulted her
905.238 while she was unconscious. Barnett would later claim
the encounter was consensual. (female reporter #2)
Twenty-two-year-old Madison Smith
says the encounter
912.453 started off with consensual sex, but things turned violent
when he started to strangle her and force her to perform
a sex act.
920.253 (female reporter #3)
Two high school football stars
who sexual assaulted a visibly intoxicated
16-year-old girl. (female reporter #4)
During the crime,
many did not step up to help,
927.927 but nearly all got out their cell phones and started snapping pictures
and tweeting.
934.058 (male reporter)
Within five days, Children’s Mercy
saw 444 kids for sexual assault.
940.189 (female #5)
Almost half of our perpetrators
were minors. Gagging, strangling.
946.112 When a child’s acting out
with that extreme violence, you have to contribute
some of that to pornography, because it directly correlates
with the genres
952.952 that kids are being exposed to. ♪♪♪
960.668 (male #10)
Now, I’ve seen numbers
of these cases that I actually worked where kids who were sexualized early
actually act out on that
969.969 because they don’t have
the inhibitions or the knowledge of what the actual sexual acts are,
what they mean.
977.81 Now, maybe they’ll have
the self-control to get off that, but the more time they spend
reinforcing that arousal pattern,
984.775 especially if they’re
looking at violent porn, my God, that’s the worst
possible thing they could look at.
990.156 Because what it will do,
it will trip the wires in their brain and will make them feel
really good about this stuff,
997.997 and it will overwhelm reason
in their brain. And they could go down this road
1003.461 and find that they
don’t have the willpower to stop themselves from doing it,
1009.342 and it could surprise them
how quickly that can happen. ♪♪♪
1025.024 ♪♪♪
1033.699 (Robert Jensen)
In previous eras,
to get sexually explicit material, you had to go
to a pornographic movie theater.
1039.747 You had to go to a bookstore. Now you can access pornography
sitting at home
1044.877 at no cost over the Internet. (Jean)
The Internet has made porn
not only accessible,
1051.384 it’s really made it inescapable. Because now, of course,
everybody has access to porn on their smartphone,
including children.
1059.892 (Robert Weiss)
Once the online world
came about, it was the game changer. I went from being a private practice
clinician with one assistant
1068.109 to running a clinic
with 8 therapists and 150 clients a week. I mean, the Internet
just swamped us.
1074.365 So many people started having
so many problems so quickly in relationship to online porn,
1080.079 and it was really just
the very beginning. Because I’m now seeing
25-year-old men
1085.71 who’ve been looking at
hardcore porn since they were 15, and they’ve never had a date, and they’ve never had sex
with a person.
1092.091 And online porn really feeds that
in a way that pre-digital porn didn’t.
1099.473 (Gary Wilson)
There are actually studies
that show that the Internet has the ability to cause
addiction-related brain changes,
1106.23 the same brain changes
that occur in a drug addiction. So that tells us that
the Internet is different.
1113.487 What’s different is the ability
to control arousal. So you’re sitting there
with your mouse,
1119.618 and you’re clicking
on a Facebook picture. No, I don’t want to look at that,
I want to look at that. I want to see
what George is doing.
1125.416 Bored with that. I want to see what
this person’s doing. Oh, what about this message?
I want to read this. And you can go on and go on,
1131.464 and what you’re doing is
you’re controlling your arousal. You’re controlling your dopamine. Dopamine is the motivation chemical
to drive us toward natural rewards
1140.514 such as eating
and achievement and falling in love
and sexual desire.
1148.022 (Dan Allender)
When you’re in the presence
of something as arousing as images or a drama of sexuality,
your brain is going to produce
1157.198 two to four times
the normal amount of dopamine, where we get the word « dope, »
which is what our brains secrete
1165.081 as what we call our pleasure drug, and it gives us a sense of motivation
and joy for living our lives.
1173.798 (Donald Hilton)
Well, food is about
150% spike of dopamine, and sex is 200%,
which is equivalent to morphine.
1182.556 Sexual orgasm is equivalent
to a morphine rush. That’s a pretty powerful reward.
1188.854 There’s also, though,
the frontal areas over our forehead. These are important in judgment
1195.111 and in weighing
the pleasure that we want. And so you have
these competing areas.
1201.575 You have this dopaminergic
drive that says do it, with this frontal break of the brain
that says think about it, weigh it.
1210.501 And in a way, they’re competing. In young people, those frontal
areas aren’t fully developed,
1216.841 and so that break isn’t there. Our frontal judgment
volitional areas
1221.887 aren’t developed until we’re in
our mid to late twenties. And so you have an eight-year-old
with this undeveloped brain
1229.562 who doesn’t really
have the ability to weigh or to judge
what they’re seeing,
1235.609 whether it’s harmful,
not harmful, what will the result be if they
participate in this activity?
1240.948 They don’t even know what it is. And so when we flood
the child’s brain
1246.162 with these powerful
sexual images which provide
this physical-emotional overload,
1252.168 the child is powerless. It’s absolutely impossible for them
to resist this kind of stimulus.
1259.717 (Gary)
Now, we combine that
with a young male who has high hormones
and is driven by interest,
1266.599 and then you combine it
with the novelty of the Internet. So all these qualities
are put together
1273.105 and they’re matched with
our highest natural reward and your genes’
number-one job,
1278.819 and that’s reproduction. And that’s what makes today’s
high-speed Internet porn so enticing.
1287.119 ♪♪♪
1299.048 ♪♪♪
1306.222 (male #11)
Growing up,
I was very anti-social, never really had many friends.
1312.353 I’d never had a girlfriend
until just a couple years ago, so it felt like I was
missing out on something.
1318.651 I was very frustrated. I felt like I wasn’t
like everybody else.
1327.076 Then when I was
about 11, 12 years old, I found some porn magazines.
1333.082 Given in our household
we’d never really talked much about sexuality at all, so to see something like that
was just an adrenaline rush.
1340.548 It felt like what I thought
it would feel like if I had a girlfriend
or had a real relationship.
1347.513 And of course, my progression
goes along with technology. As the Internet came
and we got our first computer,
1355.062 I would sneak in there
when nobody was looking and keep on looking at porn.
1360.859 After a while, the stuff
that worked before doesn’t work as well,
you build up a tolerance,
1366.031 so it would get more edgier,
edgier stuff, stuff that I wouldn’t imagine
ever looking at.
1372.371 Then I found a file sharing program, which I was using to download
music and stuff like that,
1378.794 and there by some accident
I found illegal pornography, child porn,
and it was so easy to get.
1387.219 It was as easy as getting
the regular stuff.
1392.391 I guess my curiosity got to me, so I couldn’t believe
that it could be this easy, so I downloaded it, and I saw it,
and I got the rush.
1403.235 It worked. It worked like
nothing else did anymore.
1409.908 As much as I tried to get away
from it from time to time, I would always find
myself going back to it because I was looking for that fix.
1417.416 Looking back, it was
a very dark journey. I didn’t even come to terms with it
until I got caught.
1429.428 I was a firefighter, and I was coming back home
about a year ago,
1436.101 and all of a sudden I had
blue lights going behind me. Pulled me out of my truck,
handcuffed me,
1441.106 and put me in back of a car.
1450.074 (male #12)
Pathologically speaking,
were you a pedophile? (Justin)
No.
1455.079 (male #12)
How would you explain
reaching that point of wanting to see
a child in a sexual act?
1461.71 It was the dangerousness of it. It was dangerous,
it was wrong,
1466.715 and that part was appealing too. Just how wrong it was,
but it’s what worked.
1474.306 It’s like the heroin
of pornography. ♪♪♪
1495.869 (William Struthers)
For each individual, it’s unclear what the outcome
of viewing pornography will be.
1501.75 It’s not uncommon,
the more you look at porn, the more you’re going
to stumble into things, and so you may stumble
into a genre of pornography
1508.298 that’s inherently violent,
like rape porn. Or you may stumble
into an area of pornography
1513.679 like child porn
or something like that. Most people don’t start out saying, « I want to go into this
particular type of porn.
1520.31 This is what I’m into. » It’s that process by which
you are now caught up in this wave of sexual arousal
and excitement.
1527.192 And so what happens, then, is as
you’re exposed to more things, you run the risk of now being
bound to more and more
1534.074 of these dangerous, really
dishonoring forms of pornography or illegal forms of pornography too.
1541.206 (Robert Weiss)
The sex addiction is
often about escalation. So someone could start looking
at more violent images
1547.755 or more abusive images
or things that they really never even thought
would turn them on.
1553.051 Even though they might feel
shameful or uncomfortable, it’s still intense, and it makes their heart
beat faster and faster and faster.
1559.057 And that’s very much what the non-substance addictions
are about. They’re about adrenaline.
They’re about endorphins.
1564.688 They’re about dopamine. They’re about feeling
high and excited and totally into what you’re doing
for the sake of emotional escape.
1572.696 (Ernie Allen)
The thing I’m most concerned
with is that escalator effect, the fact that today’s images
are not gonna satisfy you tomorrow
1581.413 and tomorrow’s images are
not gonna satisfy you the next day, and there is a continuing quest
for something new,
1589.421 for something different. And at some point, because of the basic
inclination of the person,
1596.094 there’s at least going
to be a temptation to experience it in real life.
1601.099 ♪♪♪
1612.402 ♪♪♪ (Richie)
My junior/senior year
of high school,
1619.743 I was getting more popular
with not just girls, but just with the whole school,
being homecoming king.
1625.999 I started getting a little bit away
from the porn a little bit. It was just an afterthought
unless something triggered it.
1633.09 And so I graduated
from high school, and I fell in love with this girl
who’s now my wife.
1641.765 We moved from this town
into actually where our family’s at and everything,
both sides of our family.
1650.983 It was during that time where I was
passing by a street here in town, and there was this adult store.
1658.532 And I remember I’m like,
« I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to go there,
because if I go there, that’s it.
1664.788 I’m going to go right back
to the bottom. » Sure enough, I found myself
opening the door and walking right in.
1676.592 This was before smartphones. This was in ’04 or ’05.
1682.89 And so I would just go
to the adult store as often as I could.
1690.772 From there, the relationship
I had with pornography was definitely progressive. So first it was just a girl,
and then it became two girls,
1701.033 and then it was an orgy. Then it was, ooh, all this behavior
with certain body parts,
1708.081 these fetishes. And I’m like, « I really like this. »
1713.67 And it came to a point
where it’s like, « I need to experience
what I’m seeing,
1719.176 because this is just amazing
what I’m seeing. But it’s just paper.
But it’s just the page.
1725.641 But it’s on my phone. My wife won’t do
any of this stuff. No way.
1731.313 She’s going to say, ‘Where are
you getting these ideas from?’ » So I’m like, « A stranger, »
paying for it, duh.
1740.072 I pay for it, and they do
what I tell them because I’m paying for it. And that was it.
1751.75 One night my wife was going
to some function at church, my kids were with my parents,
and I had my own laptop.
1763.345 So I go on Craigslist, and I’m like,
« What’s this personal stuff?
1768.35 « I can contact someone here? « I am free right now
to do whatever I want
1774.481 and no one knows anything. » And I said, « I’m going to call. »
1780.862 So I’m like, « Hi. » « Yeah, we give massages. » And I’m like, « Oh,
that’s cool, all right. »
1786.118 « Nude massages. » I’m like, « Oh, that’s great.
That’s fine. So when can I come? »
1792.749 And she’s like, « You can
come right now if you want. » And I said, « Right now? » That’s what I needed to hear,
right now.
1802.801 I go there, and I’m naked,
and she’s naked.
1808.39 I can literally feel my heart
pumping out of my chest, and my mouth dry,
and my fingers shaking,
1814.479 and I’m like,
« What’s going on? « What’s going on?
What’s going on? What am I doing?
What am I doing? » I’m thinking this.
1823.53 But because of all
those unspoken secrets, they all just started
taking over me and saying
1830.662 this is your chance. This is your chance
to be a porn star,
1835.876 where you can say and ask
the person to do whatever you want, and because you’re paying for it,
they will do it.
1842.132 When your wife was like,
« I don’t want to do that, » this lady here, she will. And I said in my mind,
« That is so right.
1850.015 That’s so true. »
1856.188 And so that was the lowest
I have ever been, and it was a porn dream
that I had as a child.
1864.863 ♪♪♪
1879.586 (Richie)
After we were finished,
she looked at my ring, and she’s like,
« How are you and your wife? »
1888.22 And I said something so twisted. I said, « You know,
I love my wife. »
1893.975 And she was like, « You do? » And I said, « I do.
I need to go. »
1900.816 I gave her my money,
and I left, and I went in my car,
and I wept.
1909.407 I said, « I can’t believe I did this. Oh my gosh, this trust.
1914.913 Am I going to tell anyone this? » It was scary.
1921.419 ♪♪♪
1927.425 I can take this
from you now. Okay.
1935.267 (male #13)
Take us back to that moment
that you found out. What did he say to you?
1942.315 We were lying in bed, and he asked me
to not get mad at him.
1947.612 He was going
to tell me something. He was like, « You promise
you won’t get mad? » And I was like, « I promise. »
1953.451 He’s like, « You promise
you won’t get mad? » And I was like,
« Yeah, just tell me. » And so he tells me,
1962.502 and it just felt like I got
punched in the heart.
1970.51 And he just started crying,
and I just held him.
1975.932 I just held him, because
I’ve messed up really bad
1981.73 and people would hold me. ♪♪♪
1991.364 Yeah, so that was hard because
I was expressing love to him
1999.664 and then I felt like I didn’t even
want to be by him anymore.
2006.087 (Richie)
And she’s like, « Richie,
I can’t even see you right now. You need to sleep
in the boys’ room. »
2011.676 So I’d be in the boys’ room,
and my boys would be like, « Why are you here, Daddy? »
2017.682 I remember crying,
« I hurt Mama. I hurt Mommy,
and I’m here right now. »
2024.981 I was so broken. I just remember saying,
« I hurt Mama. » And hearing myself
saying that to my own son,
2034.866 my two little boys, something in my heart was like,
« I remember when I was their age.
2047.712 I don’t want this
to repeat in my kids. This can’t happen anymore. »
2055.553 ♪♪♪
.

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