Le thème « masturbate » mis en image par Dr. Doug Weiss
Cette vidéo, partagée par Dr. Doug Weiss sur YouTube (depuis le ),
est destinée aux passionnés du thème «masturbate ».
La diversité des créateurs sur YouTube assure une richesse de perspectives et d’approches, rendant chaque visionnage unique et intéressant.
Au moment où nous avons pris connaissance de cette vidéo il y a peu (le ), elle attirait du trafic. Le compteur de Likes indiquait: 4901.
Reasons Why People Masturbate and Its Effects on the Brain « Cliquez ici pour télécharger un bloqueur de porno : https://tinyurl.com/bdfa68fd Appelez le 719-278-3708 pour prendre rendez-vous avec un coach ou un conseiller en récupération sexuelle. Faites notre test gratuit des 6 types de toxicomanes sexuels sur sexaddict.com. Vous pouvez également télécharger notre ebook gratuit « 6 types de toxicomanes sexuels » pour obtenir une feuille de route pour le rétablissement sur : https://www.drdougweiss.com/ebook/ — ————————————————– ——— La masturbation est un problème persistant, voire une dépendance, au sein de notre société (et dans le monde) depuis de nombreuses années. Alors que de nombreux hommes et femmes se masturbent, ce sujet est rarement abordé. Beaucoup ne comprennent même pas pourquoi ils le font ni comment cela les affecte. Dans cette vidéo, le Dr Doug Weiss, psychologue agréé et auteur, passe en revue plusieurs raisons pour lesquelles les gens se masturbent et comment cela affecte leur cerveau. Voulez-vous arrêter de vous masturber ? Vous pouvez regarder notre vidéo expliquant comment procéder : https://youtu.be/XUWmyvxWtQ8 Êtes-vous prêt à passer à l’étape suivante et à obtenir de l’aide ? Planifiez un appel avec un thérapeute ou un coach en récupération sexuelle dès aujourd’hui en appelant le bureau du Dr Weiss au 719-278-3708. Cliquez ici pour télécharger un bloqueur de porno : https://tinyurl.com/bdfa68fd Ressources mentionnées dans la vidéo : Emotional Fitness : https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/emotional-fitness-book/ Final Freedom : https:/ /www.drdougweiss.com/product/final-freedom-book/ Modèles sexuels : https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexual-templates-dvd/ Visitez le site Web du centre de conseil Heart to Heart à l’adresse www.drdougweiss.com. Vous pouvez également visiter www.sexaddict.com ou nous appeler au 719-278-3708. Si vous êtes un adolescent confronté à ce problème, ainsi qu’à une dépendance au porno et au sexe, vous pouvez regarder cette vidéo pour obtenir des conseils supplémentaires : https://youtu.be/hHA2A4-y9LE. Vous pouvez également regarder 5 heures de nettoyage du Dr Weiss. Série de cours sur drdougweiss.com/class Suivez-nous sur Facebook ici :https://www.facebook.com/drdougweiss/ Pour télécharger la vidéo de sexualisation bouleversante, rendez-vous sur : https://www.drdougweiss.com/product/shattering-sexualization-how-to-stop-sexualizing-and-objectifying-others-video-download/ Pour plus d’informations sur les conseils matrimoniaux et les cours intensifs, rendez-vous sur https://www. drdougweiss.com/counseling/ Pour une liste complète des produits du Dr Doug, rendez-vous sur https://www.drdougweiss.com/store/ Vous pouvez contacter le Dr Weiss via son site Web, www.drdougweiss.com ou sur son Facebook https://www.facebook.com/drdougweiss/ par téléphone au 719-278-3708 ou par e-mail à heart2heart@xc.org. ».
La vidéo est accessible directement sous ce paragraphe
[embedded content]
Déterminer une approche pour interrompre cette pratique
Présenter des stratégies pour prévenir les rechutes
- Désactiver les accès aux contenus pornographiques : Utilisez des outils de contrôle parental ou des bloqueurs de sites.
- Mettre en place un emploi du temps clair : Remplissez chaque moment de votre journée avec des activités productives.
Accentuer l’importance de la solidarité sociale
- Voir un sexologue : Les conseils d’un spécialiste peuvent être précieux pour avancer.notamment ce spécialiste de la chasteté.
- Rejoindre des groupes de soutien : Partager ses objectifs avec d’autres aide à rester motivé.
Fournir des méthodes éprouvées pour limiter cette pratique
- Fixer des objectifs clairs : Adoptez des stratégies progressives ou le mouvement « nofap » pour une abstinence totale.
- Se fixer des objectifs précis : Engagez-vous dans des stratégies progressives ou suivez le mouvement « nofap » pour une abstinence totale.
- Remplacer par d’autres pratiques : Découvrez de nouveaux loisirs ou engagez-vous dans une activité physique.
Chercher à comprendre les origines de l’élargissement de cette pratique
Analyser les effets comportementaux de l’exposition à la pornographie
La pornographie est un facteur influent. Elle accentue souvent l’envie de se masturber et peut brouiller la perception de la sexualité.
Évaluer les effets combinés de la solitude et du désir
L’isolement et le manque de satisfaction dans une relation ou dans la vie personnelle peuvent aussi être des déclencheurs de cette pratique.
Analyser les éléments psychologiques et émotionnels
Le stress, l’anxiété et l’insatisfaction dans d’autres aspects de la vie peuvent favoriser cette pratique habituelle.
Démystifier la dépendance à la masturbation pour mieux la combattre
Établir une définition précise de la masturbation et de ses pratiques
Pratique sexuelle commune, la masturbation est reconnue pour ses effets positifs, notamment sur le stress et la conscience corporelle. Mais en cas d’excès, elle peut s’avérer problématique.
Repérer les indicateurs d’une dépendance
Lorsque la masturbation devient instinctive, elle est souvent marquée par une fréquence élevée et un contrôle insuffisant, ce qui peut perturber les relations amoureuses et affectives.
Rechercher les effets de ces changements sur la santé mentale et physique
La consommation habituelle de pornographie, couplée à l’addiction à la masturbation, crée une stimulation continue du système dopaminergique, pouvant engendrer des troubles comme l’éjaculation précoce, une fatigue générale ou une insatisfaction sexuelle.
Examiner les bénéfices d’une abstinence réussie
Décrire les progrès réalisés en matière de santé mentale
Abandonner cette habitude favorise souvent une plus grande énergie, une meilleure humeur et une concentration accrue.
Démontrer les étapes nécessaires pour un bonheur durable
Réduire la dépendance ouvre la porte à des avantages durables dans la vie quotidienne, professionnelle et sociale.
Souligner les progrès dans la qualité des interactions sociales
Les échanges avec un conjoint s’améliorent, favorisant une plus grande complicité émotionnelle et physique.
Masturbation et rapports intimes : relever le défi du changement
La masturbation, considérée par beaucoup comme un moyen sain d’explorer leur sexualité, peut néanmoins poser problème lorsqu’elle devient une habitude compulsive. Ce défi touche hommes et femmes, interférant alors avec des aspects essentiels de la vie, comme la stabilité mentale, la performance professionnelle et les interactions sociales.
En définitive
Cesser la masturbation compulsive est un processus lent mais réalisable. Un plan structuré et un soutien adapté permettent de surmonter ce challenge et d’atteindre une vie plus équilibrée, pleine d’objectifs plus enrichissants.
Si vous souhaitez regarder la vidéo directement sur YouTube, cliquez sur ce lien :
la publication originale: Cliquer ici
#Pourquoi #estce #masturbe #Raisons #pour #lesquelles #les #gens #masturbent #ses #effets #sur #cerveau #Doug #Weiss
Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: [Music] hi i’m dr doug weiss and today’s topic is why do i masturbate so many people masturbate but they’re very rarely do they sit down and actually think why am i doing this how does this impact my present or my future we’re going to address some of these issues because there’s several things about masturbation that you can learn about today now i’ve done more masturbation histories which mean asking men and women when they start to masturbate what kind of frequency use of pornography etc than any man in the world you’re gonna learn a lot but you have to stay tuned [Music] why do i masturbate that is very important question for you to kind of assess now i’m not in any way having a judgment about this for you i want you to relax i just want to have an open conversation with you about this i’ve worked with thousands of men and women who have had masturbation issues and they had to discover the reason why and what i found out is most people never ask themselves why do i masturbate well that’s what we want to talk about now before we get into that let’s talk about what happens when you masturbate because this is exciting neuroscience has really developed a lot over the last 15 20 years and now we know a lot about what happens when you masturbate now when you masturbate you have an orgasm when you have an orgasm you get the highest level of endogenous opiates um keflan’s endorphins etc hits the excitement center of your brain the prefrontal cortex and boom you get this incredible orgasmic rush this thing is better than any drug you can do orgasm is the most powerful uh chemical experience you will have neurologically bar none okay so but what happens when you have that chemical release whatever you’re physically looking at at the point of that release you literally glue to hunger for crave and want to repeat so let’s go back to pavlov’s dog ring the bell feed the dog ring the bell feed the dog and you actually set up a neurological attachment to whatever you are masturbating to so imagine this now remember i’ve done thousands of masturbation histories men and women have masturbated to all kinds of fantasies and fetishes and objects and animals and crazy stuff right so one guy when he was masturbating he was made fun of he lives on a farm and the bed would make noise you’d go bang bang bang bang bang everyone heard it they’d laugh at him so he figured another plan so he’d go outside past the barn and he would masturbate we could look up or look down well he was looking down so he’s looking down because remember this is a young guy there’s no beer belly right in the way so he was actually seeing his boots well he created an entire boot fetish he had a boot collection so to speak from here to the end of the stage probably six feet high okay he never had sex without his boots on he literally attached to the boots during sexual encounters now this story might sound funny to you but i can tell you hundreds of other stories of attaching to certain things especially if you’re getting into pornography or fantasy and you can create scenarios that are almost impossible to recreate but you glue to them you hunger for them you crave and you want to repeat them this is the gift of sex you know if you’re in a marriage you have sex with your spouse and the more you have sex with them the more you want to have sex with them the more you attach to them you connect to them you glue to them it’s that bond uh that chemical bond and psychological bond spiritual bond that can hold a help hold the marriage together okay so this is the most powerful thing you possess so you should know why you’re using it and how to use it because if you are starting to masturbate to scenarios that you can never fulfill well that’s going to set you up for failure in your marriage or future relationships because you’re going to seek something that some person made up in a studio that’s not real it’s by actors and actresses so you want to be really really careful but that’s what happens in your brain now the gift of a sexual release is wow you get this physical release oh the afterglow okay and if you’re a man you get these chemicals sent to your brain to put you to sleep and you sleep like a baby that physical release is real all of us who’ve ever had an orgasm know that it’s like wow it feels so good so relaxing okay and then that’s the reason why some people masturbate to get that chemical feeling to get that after go feeling now if you have a spouse and you’re masturbating okay maybe you’re using masturbation in a different way and we’ll get to that now the other thing that happens during masturbation is a psychological attachment now this took me a while to figure out when i was working with men and women that it wasn’t just the physical release it was the messaging it was the voice of the fantasy or the pornography of being wanted being powerful being in control being controlled having excitement or risk connected to sex they had all these kind of scenarios psychological scenarios that that was the only place they could get that need met and so they were getting a real need met in a false way but they were literally attaching to that scenario to that voice of being wanted now remember most people start masturbating as teenagers you got pimples you’re not that maybe popular and so you go to the fantasy world for solace for for hope for love for encouragement to say that you’re okay to feel good maybe just even feel touched if you’re in a family where there’s not a lot of touch you might just masturbate just to be touched okay so the psychological dependency can really occur and you know that if it’s you it’s already happening because you’re looking for a certain voice you’re looking for a certain scenario again and again and again and again and again and again and that would tell me that okay there’s some psychological interplay as to why you’re motivated to masturbate as often as you do are to what you do because when i do a masturbation history i not only ask about the frequency okay which is one factor i ask about what kind of pornography or fantasy they have because that tells me what they’re neurologically attached to and what they’ll be triggered to in the real world so if you masturbate to a certain physical type of person then you’re going to want that type of person whether that type of person in reality happens to be a nice person or a good person or not it won’t matter because the features will attract you to them because those are the features that you masturbate to so when you masturbate you are setting up a sexual template and we actually have a video on that called sexual templates it’s uh it’s quite long but it’ll help you understand how you create sexual templates and the impact it can have on your life i would strongly recommend that you get that if if you want to further understand how you create your own sexual preferences how you create your own sexual desires and i’ve had people who have spent thousands of masturbation times with one thing and then they stop that and they move to another type of sexual reinforcement with a real person and we’re able to create a sexual happy satisfying life with them so we’re neuroplastic sexually okay which means that you can adapt and change and grow i see it happen in every direction over 35 years now the other reason that some people masturbate is to medicate when you masturbate to medicate you are oftentimes uh unable to feel feelings and so they get all jacked up but if you masturbate the feelings go away and you feel better but you don’t learn how to develop emotionally there’s a great book out there called emotional fitness strongly recommend that if you’re using masturbation to medicate if you’ve been sexually abused abandoned neglected have some kind of injury that you are using masturbation to medicate then that’s also another reason you might be uh masturbating um if you are in a lot of stress or in a situation where you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t know how to deal with it or sad or grief or some kind of pain and you’re using masturbation to get out of it that’s possible another reality is some people have bipolar manic depression or psychothemic disorder and they’re chemically trying to modulate their brain it’s not the emotions they’re trying to switch they’re trying to switch their brain and they found out in their teen years if they masturbate they can either go to sleep or they feel energized and they’re neurologically trying to re-stabilize so if that’s you you want to see a psychiatrist and get on something that can help you stabilize without masturbation i remember i had a client who was trying to stop from masturbating and he just wasn’t successful and he went to see a psychiatrist found he was bipolar well as soon as he got on his bipolar medicine he was able to resist masturbating and actually maintain a better relationship with his wife so that’s a reality for some people and you might not have thought about that now another reason you might be masturbating and this might be a little challenge for some of you is avoiding real intimacy because see when you masturbate to fantasy and pornography you don’t need to have emotional skills you don’t need to be emotionally present you need to look in someone’s eyes you don’t need to manage the interpersonal complexity of giving them pleasure satisfying them finding out what they need being able to do that and receive pleasure at the same time you just disconnect go to another world it’s all about you in the other world you’re worshipped it’s all what you want they say what you want they do what you want in the real world you have to negotiate and your lack of skill in intimate sexuality versus object sexuality can make you want to avoid real sex and actually prefer masturbation i’ve worked with many men and women who would rather masturbate than have sex with their spouse because sex with their spouse costs them emotionally so if you’re avoiding emotional cost and intimacy then you also might be struggling with intimacy anorexia google that term intimacy anorexia is the active withholding of spiritual emotional and sexual intimacy from your spouse you might have sex but you’re not making love they’re not feeling connected they feel married and alone and let me give you quickly those characteristics you’re too busy for your spouse you blame your spouse you withhold love you withhold spiritually withhold feelings you withhold sexuality or disconnected during sexuality um uh you will use anger or silence’s way to control you’ll be critical towards your spouse sometimes you control our money but your spouse will always feel like a roommate i feel alone i feel like we’re not really married if you’re having those conversations google intimacy anorexia there’s lots of materials and books and even other youtube videos on that topic just check into that if that is you now lastly you may have an addiction because of the endogenous opiates that hit your brain you could have a chemical addiction to masturbation and if that’s combined with a psychological dependency on that voice it’s really really something you want to address now do you have an addiction let me ask you have you tried to stop have you tried to stop and failed have you promised yourself to stop and failed have you had consequences your husband or wife are angry or frustrated or they feel disappointed when they find out that you’re lying about this again okay but then you go back and use anyway have you limited other activities like you’re not the person used to be you’re not as social or physically active or other things because you’re spending so much time trying to get to the porn or the masturbation okay if you have an addiction you know you do okay i’m a recovering sex act i’ve been sober for over 36 years i have not masturbated in 36 years and i’ve helped literally tens of thousands of people get into recovery from sexual addiction if you have a sex addiction not everyone who masturbates does but you do know if you do you’re going to need some help i strongly recommend start with this book the final freedom go to sex addict scxaddict.com there’s lots of resources there’s telephone groups there’s counseling for you on this issue you don’t have to be stuck if you’re using masturbation as an addiction you really want to get that addiction in remission because it’s going to ruin your life it’s going to hurt you like any addiction alcohol drugs sex food sex is something you can be addicted to and and when you are you’ll need some path of recovery so that you can really have the best sex of your life so you can really be connected emotionally and spiritually to the person you’re making love to you can be present now i can tell you i’ve worked with over 5 000 people a lot of men who when they learn how to have sex correctly and they’re connecting to their spouse they all come back to me about six or eight weeks later and say dr weiss i’m having the best sex of my life i thought it was about positions and places but really it’s about connection and when i bring my heart into the sexual act with my spouse i feel more satisfied after than ever before with pornography or with prostitutes or with other things that you could be addicted to in sex addiction so i hope that our conversation today has been helpful because masturbation is one of those kind of taboo topics so many people do it but no one talks about it intelligently and asks the question why are you doing this okay i hope you’ve discovered maybe some ideas that can help you to think through this if you need help hearttark counseling center is here for you the phone number 719-278-3708 there’s lots of resources if you just want to talk to someone about your process that could be really helpful short term and long term now if you’ve yet to subscribe to our channel please hit the subscribe button we have so many helpful information things that you can get into and you’ll get notified about that if you have a question about this and we get a lot of questions about masturbation go ahead and put it in the box send it to us we’ll get to it as soon as possible and and wait for your response you’ll get it probably within a business day or two so we care about you we want you to be as well and healthy sexually as possible so go have a great sex life until we see you again take care [Music] you .
Déroulement de la vidéo:
0.27 [Music]
0.27 hi i&;m dr doug weiss and today&;s topic
0.27 is
0.27 why do i masturbate so many people
0.27 masturbate but they&;re very rarely do
0.27 they sit down and actually think why am
0.27 i doing this
0.27 how does this impact my present or my
0.27 future
0.27 we&;re going to address some of these
0.27 issues because there&;s several things
0.27 about masturbation that you can learn
0.27 about today
0.27 now
0.27 i&;ve done more
0.27 masturbation histories which mean
0.27 asking men and women when they start to
0.27 masturbate what kind of frequency use of
0.27 pornography etc than any man in the
0.27 world
0.27 you&;re gonna learn a lot but you have to
0.27 stay tuned
0.27 [Music]
0.27 why do i masturbate that is very
0.27 important question for you to kind of
0.27 assess now i&;m not in any way having a
0.27 judgment about this for you i want you
0.27 to relax
0.27 i just want to have an open conversation
0.27 with you about this
0.27 i&;ve worked with thousands of men and
0.27 women who have had masturbation issues
0.27 and they had to discover the reason why
0.27 and what i found out is most people
0.27 never ask themselves why do i masturbate
0.27 well that&;s what we want to talk about
0.27 now before we get into that let&;s talk
0.27 about what happens when you masturbate
0.27 because this is exciting neuroscience
0.27 has really developed a lot over the last
0.27 15 20 years and now we know a lot about
0.27 what happens when you masturbate now
0.27 when you masturbate you have an orgasm
0.27 when you have an orgasm you get the
0.27 highest level of endogenous opiates um
0.27 keflan&;s endorphins etc hits the
0.27 excitement center of your brain the
0.27 prefrontal cortex and boom you get this
0.27 incredible orgasmic rush this thing is
0.27 better than any drug you can do orgasm
0.27 is the most powerful
0.27 uh chemical experience you will have
0.27 neurologically bar none okay
0.27 so
0.27 but what happens when you have that
0.27 chemical release whatever you&;re
0.27 physically looking at at the point of
0.27 that release you literally glue to
0.27 hunger for crave and want to repeat
0.27 so let&;s go back to pavlov&;s dog ring
0.27 the bell
0.27 feed the dog ring the bell feed the dog
0.27 and you actually set up a neurological
0.27 attachment
0.27 to whatever you are masturbating to
0.27 so imagine this now remember i&;ve done
0.27 thousands of masturbation histories
0.27 men and women have masturbated to all
0.27 kinds of fantasies and fetishes and
0.27 objects and animals and crazy stuff
0.27 right so one guy
0.27 when he was masturbating
0.27 he was made fun of he lives on a farm
0.27 and the bed would make noise you&;d go
0.27 bang bang bang bang bang everyone heard
0.27 it they&;d laugh at him so he figured
0.27 another plan so he&;d go outside past the
0.27 barn and he would masturbate we could
0.27 look up or look down well he was looking
0.27 down so he&;s looking down because
0.27 remember this is a young guy there&;s no
0.27 beer belly right in the way so he was
0.27 actually seeing his boots
0.27 well he created an entire boot fetish he
0.27 had a boot
0.27 collection so to speak from here to the
0.27 end of the stage probably six feet high
0.27 okay he never had sex without his boots
0.27 on he literally attached to the boots
0.27 during sexual encounters
0.27 now this story might sound funny to you
0.27 but i can tell you hundreds of other
0.27 stories of attaching to certain things
0.27 especially if you&;re getting into
0.27 pornography or fantasy and you can
0.27 create scenarios that are almost
0.27 impossible to recreate but you glue to
0.27 them you hunger for them you crave and
0.27 you want to repeat them
0.27 this is the gift of sex you know if
0.27 you&;re in a marriage you have sex with
0.27 your spouse and the more you have sex
0.27 with them the more you want to have sex
0.27 with them the more you attach to them
0.27 you connect to them you glue to them
0.27 it&;s that bond uh that chemical bond and
0.27 psychological bond spiritual bond that
0.27 can hold a help hold the marriage
0.27 together okay so this is the most
0.27 powerful thing you possess so you should
0.27 know why
0.27 you&;re using it and how to use it
0.27 because if you are starting to
0.27 masturbate to scenarios that you can
0.27 never fulfill well that&;s going to set
0.27 you up for failure in your marriage or
0.27 future relationships because you&;re
0.27 going to seek something that some person
0.27 made up in a studio that&;s not real it&;s
0.27 by actors and actresses so you want to
0.27 be really really careful but that&;s what
0.27 happens in your brain
0.27 now
0.27 the gift of
0.27 a sexual release is wow you get this
0.27 physical release oh
0.27 the afterglow okay and if you&;re a man
0.27 you get these chemicals sent to your
0.27 brain to put you to sleep and you sleep
0.27 like a baby that physical release is
0.27 real all of us who&;ve ever had an orgasm
0.27 know that it&;s like wow it feels so good
0.27 so relaxing
0.27 okay and then that&;s the reason why some
0.27 people masturbate to get that chemical
0.27 feeling to get that after go feeling now
0.27 if you have a spouse and you&;re
0.27 masturbating
0.27 okay maybe you&;re using masturbation in
0.27 a different way and we&;ll get to that
0.27 now
0.27 the other thing that happens during
0.27 masturbation
0.27 is a psychological attachment now this
0.27 took me a while to figure out when i was
0.27 working with men and women that it
0.27 wasn&;t just the physical release
0.27 it was the messaging it was the voice of
0.27 the fantasy or the pornography of being
0.27 wanted
0.27 being powerful
0.27 being in control
0.27 being controlled
0.27 having excitement or risk connected to
0.27 sex they had all these kind of scenarios
0.27 psychological scenarios that that was
0.27 the only place they could get that need
0.27 met
0.27 and so they were getting a real need met
0.27 in a false way but they were literally
0.27 attaching to that scenario to that voice
0.27 of being wanted now remember most people
0.27 start masturbating as teenagers you got
0.27 pimples you&;re not that maybe popular
0.27 and so you go to the fantasy world for
0.27 solace for for hope for love for
0.27 encouragement to say that you&;re okay to
0.27 feel good maybe just even feel touched
0.27 if you&;re in a family where there&;s not
0.27 a lot of touch
0.27 you might just masturbate just to be
0.27 touched
0.27 okay so the psychological dependency can
0.27 really occur and you know that if it&;s
0.27 you it&;s already happening because
0.27 you&;re looking for a certain voice
0.27 you&;re looking for a certain scenario
0.27 again and again and again and again and
0.27 again and again
0.27 and
0.27 that would tell me that okay there&;s
0.27 some psychological interplay as to why
0.27 you&;re motivated to masturbate as often
0.27 as you do are to what you do because
0.27 when i do a masturbation history i not
0.27 only ask about the frequency okay which
0.27 is one factor i ask about what kind of
0.27 pornography or fantasy they have because
0.27 that tells me what they&;re
0.27 neurologically attached to and what
0.27 they&;ll be triggered to in the real
0.27 world so if you masturbate to a certain
0.27 physical type of person then you&;re
0.27 going to
0.27 want that type of person whether that
0.27 type of person in reality happens to be
0.27 a nice person or a good person or not it
0.27 won&;t matter because the features will
0.27 attract you to them because those are
0.27 the features that you masturbate to so
0.27 when you masturbate you are setting up a
0.27 sexual template and we actually have a
0.27 video on that
0.27 called sexual templates it&;s uh it&;s
0.27 quite long but it&;ll help you understand
0.27 how you create sexual templates and the
0.27 impact it can have on your life i would
0.27 strongly recommend that you get that if
0.27 if you want to further understand how
0.27 you create your own sexual preferences
0.27 how you create your own sexual desires
0.27 and i&;ve had people who have spent
0.27 thousands
0.27 of masturbation times with one thing and
0.27 then they stop that and they move to
0.27 another type of sexual reinforcement
0.27 with a real person and we&;re able to
0.27 create a sexual happy satisfying life
0.27 with them so we&;re neuroplastic
0.27 sexually okay which means that you can
0.27 adapt and change and grow i see it
0.27 happen in every direction over 35 years
0.27 now
0.27 the
0.27 other reason that some people masturbate
0.27 is to medicate
0.27 when you masturbate to medicate you are
0.27 oftentimes
0.27 uh unable to feel feelings and so they
0.27 get all jacked up but if you masturbate
0.27 the feelings go away and you feel better
0.27 but you don&;t learn how to develop
0.27 emotionally there&;s a great book out
0.27 there called emotional fitness strongly
0.27 recommend that if you&;re using
0.27 masturbation to medicate
0.27 if you&;ve been sexually abused abandoned
0.27 neglected have some kind of injury that
0.27 you are using
0.27 masturbation to medicate then that&;s
0.27 also another reason you might be uh
0.27 masturbating um if you are in a lot of
0.27 stress or in a situation where you&;re
0.27 feeling overwhelmed and don&;t know how
0.27 to deal with it or
0.27 sad or grief or
0.27 some kind of pain
0.27 and you&;re using masturbation to get out
0.27 of it that&;s possible another reality is
0.27 some people have bipolar manic
0.27 depression or psychothemic disorder and
0.27 they&;re chemically trying to
0.27 modulate their brain
0.27 it&;s not the emotions they&;re trying to
0.27 switch they&;re trying to switch their
0.27 brain and they found out in their teen
0.27 years if they masturbate they can either
0.27 go to sleep or they feel energized and
0.27 they&;re neurologically trying to
0.27 re-stabilize so if that&;s you you want
0.27 to see a psychiatrist and get on
0.27 something that can help you stabilize
0.27 without masturbation i remember i had a
0.27 client who was
0.27 trying to stop from masturbating
0.27 and he just wasn&;t successful and he
0.27 went to see a psychiatrist found he was
0.27 bipolar well as soon as he got on his
0.27 bipolar medicine he was able to resist
0.27 masturbating and actually maintain a
0.27 better relationship with his wife so
0.27 that&;s a reality for some people and you
0.27 might not have thought about that
0.27 now
0.27 another reason you might be masturbating
0.27 and this might be a little challenge for
0.27 some of you
0.27 is avoiding real intimacy because see
0.27 when you masturbate to fantasy and
0.27 pornography you don&;t need to have
0.27 emotional skills you don&;t need to be
0.27 emotionally present you need to look in
0.27 someone&;s eyes you don&;t need to manage
0.27 the interpersonal complexity of giving
0.27 them pleasure satisfying them finding
0.27 out what they need being able to do that
0.27 and receive pleasure at the same time
0.27 you just disconnect go to another world
0.27 it&;s all about you in the other world
0.27 you&;re worshipped it&;s all what you want
0.27 they say what you want they do what you
0.27 want in the real world you have to
0.27 negotiate
0.27 and your lack of skill in
0.27 intimate sexuality versus object
0.27 sexuality can make you want to avoid
0.27 real sex and actually prefer
0.27 masturbation i&;ve worked with many men
0.27 and women who would rather masturbate
0.27 than have sex with their spouse because
0.27 sex with their spouse costs them
0.27 emotionally so if you&;re avoiding
0.27 emotional cost and intimacy then you
0.27 also might be struggling with intimacy
0.27 anorexia google that term
0.27 intimacy anorexia is the active
0.27 withholding of spiritual emotional and
0.27 sexual intimacy from your spouse you
0.27 might have sex but you&;re not making
0.27 love they&;re not feeling connected they
0.27 feel married and alone
0.27 and let me give you quickly those
0.27 characteristics you&;re too busy for your
0.27 spouse you blame your spouse you
0.27 withhold love you withhold spiritually
0.27 withhold
0.27 feelings you withhold sexuality or
0.27 disconnected during sexuality um
0.27 uh you will use anger or silence&;s way
0.27 to control you&;ll be critical towards
0.27 your spouse
0.27 sometimes you control our money but your
0.27 spouse will always feel like a roommate
0.27 i feel alone i feel like we&;re not
0.27 really married if you&;re having those
0.27 conversations google intimacy anorexia
0.27 there&;s lots of materials and books and
0.27 even other
0.27 youtube videos on that topic just check
0.27 into that if that is you
0.27 now lastly
0.27 you may have an addiction
0.27 because of the endogenous opiates that
0.27 hit your brain you could have a chemical
0.27 addiction to masturbation and if that&;s
0.27 combined with a psychological dependency
0.27 on that voice it&;s really really
0.27 something you want to address now do you
0.27 have an addiction let me ask you have
0.27 you tried to stop
0.27 have you tried to stop and failed
0.27 have you promised yourself to stop and
0.27 failed
0.27 have you had consequences your husband
0.27 or wife are angry or frustrated or they
0.27 feel disappointed when they find out
0.27 that you&;re lying about this again
0.27 okay but then you go back and use anyway
0.27 have you limited other activities like
0.27 you&;re not the person used to be you&;re
0.27 not as social or physically active or
0.27 other things because you&;re spending so
0.27 much time trying to get to the porn or
0.27 the masturbation
0.27 okay if you have an addiction
0.27 you know you do
0.27 okay i&;m a recovering sex act i&;ve been
0.27 sober for over 36 years i have not
0.27 masturbated in 36 years and i&;ve helped
0.27 literally tens of thousands of people
0.27 get into recovery from sexual addiction
0.27 if you have a sex addiction not everyone
0.27 who masturbates does but you do know if
0.27 you do
0.27 you&;re going to need some help i
0.27 strongly recommend
0.27 start with this book the final freedom
0.27 go to sex addict scxaddict.com
0.27 there&;s lots of resources there&;s
0.27 telephone groups there&;s counseling
0.27 for you on this issue you don&;t have to
0.27 be stuck if you&;re using masturbation as
0.27 an addiction you really want to
0.27 get
0.27 that addiction in remission because it&;s
0.27 going to ruin your life it&;s going to
0.27 hurt you like any addiction alcohol
0.27 drugs sex food sex is something you can
0.27 be addicted to and and when you are
0.27 you&;ll need some path of recovery so
0.27 that you can really have the best sex of
0.27 your life so you can really be connected
0.27 emotionally and spiritually to the
0.27 person you&;re making love to you can be
0.27 present
0.27 now i can tell you i&;ve worked with over
0.27 5 000 people
0.27 a lot of men
0.27 who when they
0.27 learn how to have sex correctly
0.27 and they&;re connecting to their spouse
0.27 they all come back to me about six or
0.27 eight weeks later and say dr weiss i&;m
0.27 having the best sex of my life
0.27 i thought it was about positions and
0.27 places but really it&;s about connection
0.27 and when i bring my heart into the
0.27 sexual act with my spouse i feel more
0.27 satisfied after than ever before with
0.27 pornography or with prostitutes or with
0.27 other things that you could be addicted
0.27 to in sex addiction
0.27 so
0.27 i hope that our conversation today has
0.27 been helpful because masturbation is one
0.27 of those kind of taboo topics
0.27 so many people do it but no one talks
0.27 about it intelligently
0.27 and asks the question why are you doing
0.27 this
0.27 okay i hope you&;ve discovered maybe some
0.27 ideas that can help you
0.27 to think through this if you need help
0.27 hearttark counseling center is here for
0.27 you
0.27 the phone number 719-278-3708
0.27 there&;s lots of resources if you just
0.27 want to talk to someone about your
0.27 process that could be really helpful
0.27 short term and long term now if you&;ve
0.27 yet to subscribe to our channel please
0.27 hit the subscribe button
0.27 we have so many helpful
0.27 information
0.27 things that you can get into and you&;ll
0.27 get notified about that
0.27 if you have a question about this and we
0.27 get a lot of questions about
0.27 masturbation
0.27 go ahead and put it in the box send it
0.27 to us we&;ll get to it as soon as
0.27 possible and and wait for your response
0.27 you&;ll get it probably within a business
0.27 day or two so we care about you we want
0.27 you to be as well and healthy
0.27 sexually as possible so go have a great
0.27 sex life
0.27 until we see you again
0.27 take care
0.27 [Music]
0.27 you
.
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