Youtube (porn addiction): QU’EST-CE QUE LA DÉPENDANCE AU PORNO ? Symptômes et traitement (avec @PsychologyInSeattle)

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Il est important de noter la durée (00:49:47s), le titre (WHAT IS PORN ADDICTION? Symptoms & Treatment (w/@PsychologyInSeattle)) ainsi que les éléments fournis par l’auteur, incluant la description :« L’incroyable Dr Kirk Honda de Psychology à Seattle rejoint Psych2Go pour une interview pour discuter et répondre à toutes vos questions sur la dépendance à la pornographie ! Rejoignez-nous pour cet épisode très spécial de Psychology Roundtable avec Michelle Rivas, l’une des incroyables animatrices derrière @Psych2go, et obtenez des réponses à vos questions EN DIRECT ! Mardi 19 septembre à 12h00 PST/13h00 MST/15h00 EST. ━━━━━ Suivez le Dr Kirk Honda ━━━━━ https://youtube.com/@PsychologyInSeattle?si=MaDBcWamtQmBUJr1 ━━━━━ Suivez Michelle ! (L’hôte) ━━━━━ Regardez mes dernières vidéos ! : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woVEMMmyUCI https://www.instagram.com/shellie_from_the_block/ Lien vers l’événement sur la santé mentale chez Barnes & Noble et pour faire un don : https://www.eventbrite.com/e/psych2go-coffee-books-for-mental-health-mixer-tickets-715631161067 ».

Sur YouTube, les utilisateurs peuvent partager des vidéos qui abordent une gamme de sujets variés, allant de l’éducation à des intérêts personnels, dans un cadre où la sécurité, l’anonymat et la diversité sont des priorités. Chaque vidéo peut offrir une perspective unique tout en restant fidèle aux normes communautaires.

Établir une méthodologie progressive pour réduire les comportements addictifs

Établir des objectifs concrets et réalistes

Un plan de sevrage efficace commence par des objectifs précis, comme diminuer progressivement le temps de consommation de porno. La réflexion sur les raisons sous-jacentes à l’addiction et sur les bénéfices d’une vie sans porno est indispensable.

Créer un milieu favorable à la régénération

En utilisant des extensions de navigateur ou des applications de contrôle parental, il est possible de restreindre l’accès aux contenus pornographiques. Favoriser des activités créatives et productives est également une approche bénéfique pour réduire les envies compulsives.

Développer des méthodes pour contrôler les désirs

L’un des aspects importants de la gestion des comportements indésirables est la reconnaissance des déclencheurs. La TCC, les activités constructives et le soutien de proches sont des outils essentiels.

Vivre pleinement en créant une identité sans avoir besoin de la pornographie

Construire des routines saines et responsables dans sa vie

Cultiver des habitudes enrichissantes, comme la méditation ou le yoga, soutient l’équilibre entre le corps et l’esprit et diminue les pulsions irréfléchies

Établir des liens bienveillants augmente la résilience émotionnelle

Développer des liens sincères et équilibrés favorise une vie sexuelle plus enrichissante et loin des fantasmes virtuels

Adopter une approche éthique de la sexualité

Opter pour une sexualité éthique améliore la qualité des relations et assure un épanouissement mutuel Le processus d’arrêt de la pornographie repose sur une prise de conscience de ses effets, des moyens adaptés et un accompagnement constant. Grâce à un plan structuré, il est possible de se libérer de cette dépendance et d’atteindre un épanouissement sexuel et personnel. Des approches comme la thérapie ou des groupes de soutien peuvent être très utiles (voir à ce sujet les détails du service de pratique de la chasteté masculine et la lutte contre la dépendance à la pornographie).

Éclaircir les raisons de l’addiction au contenu pornographique

Étudier les processus psychologiques impliqués

Le processus addictif lié à la pornographie repose sur une suractivation des mécanismes cérébraux de récompense, accentuant les habitudes compulsives et le sentiment de mal-être.

Observer les indices de dépendance

La consommation compulsive de pornographie, souvent associée à des sentiments de honte, perturbe les relations et les performances au travail.

Explorer les perturbations causées par le porno dans la vie de tous les jours

L’addiction compromet des éléments clés de la vie, comme les relations sexuelles, la confiance en soi et la profondeur des liens affectifs. Le recours excessif au porno peut encourager une dépendance émotionnelle à ces médias

Découvrir les options de soutien disponibles

Prendre rendez-vous avec un professionnel de la santé mentale

Faire appel à un professionnel en santé mentale spécialisé dans les dépendances comportementales, comme un psychologue pratiquant la TCC, permet d’identifier les causes profondes et d’avoir un accompagnement personnalisé.

S’intégrer dans des groupes d’entraide

Participer à un groupe de soutien permet aux personnes de partager leurs défis, d’apprendre des méthodes efficaces et de bénéficier de la solidarité d’autres individus en rétablissement.

Recourir aux outils numériques et applications pour surveiller les avancées

Grâce aux outils numériques et aux applications, il est possible de suivre l’évolution, de recevoir des rappels motivants et de renforcer les habitudes saines pour réduire l’accès à des contenus pornographiques.

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#QUESTCE #DÉPENDANCE #PORNO #Symptômes #traitement #avec #PsychologyInSeattle

Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: hello psych2go viewers Our Guest for today’s live stream is Dr Kirk Honda you may know him from his amazing YouTube channel psychology in Seattle which has amassed millions of views and over 300 000 subscribers uh Michelle Rivas host of psychology Roundtable and we’re super excited to have Dr Kirk Honda here today welcome thank you so much for joining us today thanks for having me and so could you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background for those who don’t know uh well I’ve been a therapist and a professor for 27 years-ish in Seattle and I’ve been a YouTuber and podcaster for 15 years we just celebrated our 15th anniversary with a 15-hour YouTube live stream this past weekend that’s amazing and when the YouTube channel started after the podcast right slightly yeah I had a student at the time who said you have to put your stuff on YouTube and I was like YouTube why because I didn’t know any better but uh here we are yeah and so it’s different though having I’m sure a podcasting YouTube It’s like a two different platforms so but that’s amazing and so just to start off I wanted to ask so this is such an important conversation because roughly about 40 million Americans click on porn related sites regularly and so I just really wanted to cover this topic it’s kind of all over YouTube so to start off I want to task when does the use of pornography cross the line from healthy to dangerous such as developing an addiction yeah people often will Define any sort of addiction including porn addiction as a frequency issue like if you do it x amount per week or per day or for you know this amount of hours then you have an addiction and that’s not how we clinicians Define addiction we don’t even use the word Addiction typically we’ll use compulsion or problem use and with porn compulsion or porn addiction colloquial what we call it um the individual regardless of how often they consume pornography and really we’re talking about pornography and masturbation usually it’s not although pornography addiction can include a fair amount of uh pornography viewing that has nothing to do with self stimulation or with um masturbation so um but it often does involve that anyway so I just want to throw that in there but the definition of a compulsion or a problem use or a you know a problem with with porn is one is that you’re obsessed with the pornography meaning that you’re preoccupied you’re thinking about it you have intrusive thoughts you have cravings that’s an uncontrollable urge to think about it even though you don’t want to you also have an Associated compulsion to view pornography you spend more time than you want to you often spend a lot of time interferes with other parts of your life you’re neglecting parts of your life or you can even get fired from a job because you were looking at it at work I’ve had people mandated to see me for that and then there’s negative consequences because of the obsession because of the compulsion to your job relationships to your self-esteem to your health happiness Hobbies money that kind of thing and and more uh you know uh severe addictions of any sort the individual will have a lot of excuses because they’re out of control for them for themselves and they have they’re having a hard time there’s cognitive dissonance where they have this need and they keep acting out that need there’s another part of this like I don’t want to do this and sometimes what that will mean push comes to shove is they will actually suppress or have all these internal denial mechanisms that actually will repress that voice that is saying no so they might even tell themselves this is natural or everyone is doing this or um it’s normal to neglect your kids while you’re looking at porn that kind of thing and then there’s a lot of Shame often involved for a lot of people with addiction there’s a there’s a shame cycle if you will of um self-esteem degradation relationship falling apart um I’m not worthy you know there’s a so those those are the ways that we can Define it in terms of how often you know typically for the people that I’ve treated and clinically people who have a a addiction to porn we’re talking about typically but not always this individual is is looking at pornography several hours a day and they are potentially masturbating several times a day and it is um it’s a it’s a constant monkey on their back uh it’s it’s always you know it’s sort of like with cigarette addiction you go for half an hour without smoking a cigarette and then the Cravings start beginning you know you’re at a movie theater and you can’t smoke in this voice is just like you know you can skip this part go outside and have a cigarette and you’re just like no I want to watch this movie you know it’d be the same with pornography you might be in a movie theater and you just be like you know just play your phone look it’s important and and it just it’s a constant like it’s intrusive yeah oh yeah yeah it’s not like hmm what should I do right now well you know maybe it it interferes with like compulsive yeah yeah and so do you think so you mentioned the shame around porn edition and I was wondering do you feel like it’s like a vicious cycle the stigma and the shame that people often sort of like receive for even just watching porn does it like perpetuate their need to watch it even more because it’s a way of suppressing their feelings and maybe reality in a lot of ways like the way we approach it as a society the way we kind of like villainize people who watch porn like no that’s bad would you say yeah yeah absolutely I mean yeah the broader topic is sex negativity and uh there’s a lot I could say about that but yeah absolutely it can I mean there’s a there’s shame and stigma regarding any addiction cigarettes included right and it can but when you think sorry I’m so sorry to interject but like when you think about it let’s just be honest as a society sometimes there are some addictions that people deem more acceptable like if someone says they have a smoking addiction they might not get the same looks as someone who says I have a porn addiction people might perceive that person or label that person a perv or a creep because they have a porn addiction rather than someone who oh they just have a nicotine addiction you know oh yeah absolutely yeah absolutely yeah and the isolation of that self-esteem degradation of that the um the need so you know it creates a cycle of I’m ashamed of myself I’m worthless I’m pushing myself away from other people I need I’m feeling bad I need some way to cope I’m going to turn to porn I feel ashamed of myself and you know just keeps going round and round for people the other thing though is that I want to say is that there’s a lot of over self-diagnosing we’ve known this for a long time with porn addiction there’s a number of reasons for this one is is just misunderstanding of what addiction is or what compulsions are problem uses but also that uh for some people because of religion or culture or sex negativity any porn amount of watching is considered a problem and thus yeah um if you’re watching porn and you know like a common scenario that I’ve seen in my office is you’ll have say a husband who you know is 15 20 years into marriage the sexual frequency has dropped off a little bit maybe there’s some trauma that he’s dealing with there’s a widening distance and particularly physically between him and his partner and he turns to pornography and masturbation as a way of gratifying a need or just something to do and say he does it once or twice a week and he gets caught he gets caught and according to his religion and his wife’s religion and the values that they have this is is considered cheating which is fine if that’s how people wanted to find this is why you want to talk about these things up front with your dating partners because right it might come up and um you know because there’s different values around this similar to like should we have kids or not you should probably talk about that sort of thing before things get too far into the relationship but um so they have this value and then he says okay I’m never going to do it again I’m never gonna I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I I sinned or I broke the Covenant of our marriage or you know yes I agree with you I’m so sorry I’m so sorry and then he goes for three months without looking at porn or masturbating and then he has a couple beers with some friends come comes home and he’s just like ah screw it you know it’s been so long since I’ve you know met that need and I haven’t had sex with my wife in six months he does it he gets caught and then he ends up in my office and he says I have a porn addiction um I would not Define that as a porn addiction depending all right yeah I would have to ask him questions but there’s a lot of people that will Define it as a porn addiction which um you know it to my eyes it’s someone that has a need that is not being met now it’s not the wife’s fault you know she has you know he is sneaking around and he is lying and he is uh absolutely being deceptive but I have worked with couples of opening it up to the possibility of just like well let’s let’s look at that I would never tell you to change your point of view about pornography and masturbation but you do have a choice regarding that and you can still choose to have that value but maybe you’ve never even raised the question in your mind of what do I want to believe about that and and or maybe we need to work on your sexuality you know it opens up a lot of conversations is the point and um I wouldn’t be treating porn addiction in that situation I’m treating a lot of different issues for that couple well I think that the prompt too is sometimes when we approach individuals who have an addiction I think that the first instinct sometimes for like family members and friends is to villainize them and to label them as an addict and that can be really hurtful and upsetting to that person and they don’t want that label but then you know maybe it causes depression anxiety and it makes them want to watch porn more or whatever that addiction is it makes them want to do them more because they’re being shamed by their loved ones and being villainized absolutely yeah yeah and so what are some signs and symptoms that someone can look out for in themselves or in someone else that could indicate a porn addiction yeah so um there are various different online screening tools many of them are not very good um I did find one well because well for example I mean if you really just want to get specific there’s a a very common if not the most common screening test is called the internet sex screening test and it has to do with internet porn and a number of the items on here I would not be uh I would not consider them to be necessarily signs of porn addiction what’s called that like for example pathological well right I mean it’s totally within normal limits to people that people have these kinds of behaviors like yeah you know um I have one of the items is yes or no I have joined I have joined sexual sites to gain access to online sexual material yeah I have joined a website a porn website that has porn um what you know like that’s a lot of people right right um or I have purchased sexual products online yeah that doesn’t indicate an addiction or anything pathological it doesn’t necessarily have to do with pornography I mean you could buy a toy online and and have be a total healthy thing so yeah it’s but there is one test I mean they do have items on there that are more in line but there’s a lot of false positives and I you know there’s I could get into the problem with the research and the treatment in this field because there’s a lot of yeah religiosity that is uh interwoven in this and sex negativity but in terms of the uh the test that I found that is actually a good one is called a porn addiction test and it’s on cycom.net um which is it’s not really something that psychologists use but um but I did find it to be helpful there are a lot of other tests but anyway one that’s free online it’s called the porn addiction quiz on cyclone.n so one of the questions is there’s nine questions do you spend a lot of time thinking about pornography so that’s so if you answer yes to that then that’s an indicator another is do you ever lose track of time while you’re watching porn so meaning that you probably think well I’ll look at porn for 10 minutes or 15 minutes and then it’s three hours later that’s a common experience for people who have porn videos yeah number three is have you ever tried to cut back on how much porn you consume so that you know that’s a typical addictions question do you ever feel Restless or irritable when you try to cut back on porn so that yeah points to a compulsion a craving intrusive thought because withdrawal symptoms yeah yeah you can put it that way have you ever lied about how much porn you actually watch has pornography ever interfered with your work school or relationships that’s a good one yeah that’s good do you ever continue to watch porn even when it had negative consequences on your relationship or your work have you ever done anything illegal to access pornography do you ever do you ever feel guilty sad or anxious about watching looking at porn that last one’s a little funny because a lot of people will shame themselves because of sex negativity but but you get the picture that you know are you spending a lot more time than you want to be do you have uncontrollable urges about it have you had negative consequences in your life because of you watching porn because someone could watch porn and masturbate you know four hours a day but if they have all their other life aspects yeah going well and their relationships their work finances their health you know it’s it’s a hobby it’s something that they just really like to do and um there’s nothing wrong with that there’s nothing pathological yeah thank you I don’t think that’s clarified enough the act of watching porn isn’t bad like you can watch porn it doesn’t make you a bad person or a perv but it’s just when it becomes an addiction that’s when it’s pathological and even then you’re not a pervert creeper and we shouldn’t label people that right yeah yeah most people watch porn most people masturbate so if yeah if watching porno masturbating is that you’re perv then I guess most people are pervs right exactly and so do you think just you know switching over to the causes of it what are some of the root causes for porn addiction in your opinion do you believe it’s like an escape mechanism it can be yeah so one of the problems with answering this question is we don’t really have a lot of robust research around this because one it’s a taboo topic even within my field to some extent because uh I mean it’s not a top you know for me to read research about pornography addiction isn’t taboo but when you commit yourself as a clinician or an academic to this is going to be my thing you know it raises questions people are like well what’s why is he so interested in this topic right so it tends to be really yeah yeah I even ran into this when I when I was proposing a research study at my University about um caming you know pornography caming you know yeah it’s cam people who are cam performers this would have been I don’t know 15 years ago or something I was proposing this because I wanted to know the uh the effect that it had on couples because it’s one thing for someone to watch pornography right if you had a partner that watched porn or you sort of knew that maybe they watched porn uh it’s another thing if they’re actually interacting with a human being across chat across video uh you know live video um because I wondered if that crossed the line or if it was actually just considered because it’s all internet stuff I saw so I propose this and I had colleagues of mine mentors of mine who told me um this is not a good idea for your career because people are going to ask questions as to why you’re even looking looking into this and I’m like that’s stigma yeah yeah I’m like but so even in my field and I Didn’t Do It For the record because I did a completely other uh yeah that makes sense um so that’s one problem another is that of the people that are motivated to do this research they’re often uh biased due to religion so they have a bone to pick and the research studies the research studies will look legit but when you read them it it’s um skewed it seems that way anyway and you know there are religious universities like BYU that are uh you know it’ll say in the research study that it you know the professors and the research so you never know anyway but the causes that we can look to that are often uh you know identified with lots of addictions are it can be hereditary for example you know really oh yeah susceptible not to porn addiction per se but to addiction and compulsions um you know you have you’re prone to pleasure triggers so to speak and having those um activations in your brain that are more effective than other people you know there’s some models that include that another is childhood mistreatment is associated with a lot of trauma yeah um including addition um there’s a lot of different reasons to why that would be but uh moving forward another uh possibility is that for some people that are you know it seems like there’s some evidence that our initial experiences in sexuality as we’re developing as children and teenagers will imprint on us to some extent you know certain fetishes or preferences that we have as adults can be traced back to very early experience the first time you felt that charge the first time you felt that that you know that that sexual feeling if it was associated with a particular uh stimulus then and especially if that’s reinforced throughout early development you know you for example you have one kid who uh 13 looks at porn masturbates but also will start dating and and fooling around physically with peers within reason and uh for that individual there’s a variety of things that are being encoded as this is how you meet this need um whereas another person the first experience they have is with pornography and it’s very intense for them and they don’t have any experiences with other human beings then that can lead to problem use in the future and also an inability to find safety or Comfort or being turned on by real human beings because you know your brain has been conditioned to respond to a particular stimuli pornography so it’s not pornography people often because there are there is research that will point to early pornography exposure can be related to these things but but there’s other evidence and the way that I think about it is that it’s not that you necessarily need to take away pornography um although kids certainly don’t need pornography you know um I mean there are some benefits to pornography that I should say just uh you know while I’m on this topic that there is research and it’s been around for a long time that for a lot of people um they discovered themselves their identity they because they might be in a very sex-negative culture or church or family yeah and they watch you know because porn is a wide variety of content you know you have everything from you know very explicit you know I don’t know what you call it but um that kind of pour into people just talking about their bodies and enjoying themselves and or or couples that are um just regular people that are um open about their sexuality um you know queer people uh you know all sorts of folks and so for an individual they might actually be liberated um and destigmatized and uh so they might really benefit from pornography and that that research has been around for a long time yeah but um but anyway so uh the idea is is that with teenagers we really want to help them to not have barriers to actually meeting people in person and developing normally in that way you know age-appropriate wherever they want maybe it’s later at 18 or maybe it’s as young as 12 when they start to hold hands with someone or something you know to get that ball rolling because that’s that’s typically seemingly maybe how we evolved which is uh perhaps best another way of looking at it in terms of cause is that we evolved to you know you think about a million years ago we evolved to it seems we evolved to respond to stimuli visually and auditory so when we see sexual images or naked bodies or people having sex or whatever we seem to respond to that and the theory goes is that we’re on the African Savannah 200 000 years ago and we see an attractive potential partner or even hear people having sex it sort of reminds us of it or something and it introduces the the drive right and you you have a motivation well on the African Savannah 200 000 years ago for us the about the you know the amount of times that would happen in a day would be limited right but um with the internet and with pornography it can be constant right so similar to the way that Cheetos and nachos hack into my evolved motivation to have fats and sugars and and um and salt um to Too Much degree which isn’t healthy for my body pornography can hack into your system to give you too much of what you want and then for some people that can develop into uh problem use right yeah and speaking of over stimulation or like what you just mentioned um because of like that over stimulation or being exposed to pornography all the time possibly because of an addiction do you think that porn can impact bonding and romantic relationships because people have this idealized um this idea in their head of what like sex should be and do you think it kind of Damages relationships or what would you say to some extent it can’t it goes both ways so it can both damage or be neutral or be positive for relationships it it really just it’s sort of like the way people talk about social media they’ll be like well social media rots your brain and research demonstrates that yeah for some people there can be some negative effects but for other people it actually enhances their brain yeah their moves um so it just depends on the context on the person on the way they use it on the whole picture so for one couple absolutely or for one individual and we have studied this and found this to be true for some that when they watch pornography it’ll twist their mind regarding what a body should look like or what sex should look like um it could be particularly misogynistic and sexist and in a lot of Corners it’s getting better over time yes but um and it’s particularly bad in some societies like the United States and places like Japan where it is um you know exaggerated and uh uh demeaning to women but so you could and you could imagine someone being influenced in that way uh or a couple that uh you know their relationship starts to cool off and one or both of them watch a lot of pornography and um and it creates this distance because there isn’t a motivation to bond sexually or there could be hurt and betrayal feelings but for another couple another individual it could liberate them it could give them ideas it could be a a nice thing to do when your partner isn’t around it can be a way of flirting with your partner you could do it with your partner you can talk about it with your partner um you know there’s just uh it really just depends on on how it’s being used and we as a society have play a role in that because of education and awareness and um also helping to guide young people about what they want to put in their brain right because it’s going to happen in all likelihood so the general approach though is just say no and abstain or prevent and shame which you know doesn’t help and so before we move to our audience segment I just wanted to ask um in terms of sorry just there’s so many questions in here right now yeah there’s a ton of people in here right now and so we’re gonna get to the audience segment soon guys um but I just wanted to know um do you feel that when it comes to the way it impacts relationships um we need to like learn to not stigmatize our partners for their use of pornography like how do people go about conversations around these things as couples well everything hinges on your values so yeah if um so I would even go further back and say that when people are young that they are given a venue to explore this for themselves of what are my values regarding pornography and masturbation for me and for my partners and if an individual has given enough freedom in space to explore that and they establish their own value regarding that then they can enact that so if they for example are free to develop their own morals and they develop morals saying like I don’t want pornography in my life um because of various different reasons you know and there are legit reasons why someone wouldn’t want pornography in their life they wouldn’t want to contribute to the exploitation of the performers because the industry isn’t set up currently to be able to regulate that um you know there are reasons and so they say I don’t want that in my life and I don’t want my partner to be in that okay so then you got to lead with that when you’re dating it should be in your dating profile similar to you know what sort of age are you looking for do you want to have kids and how do you feel about pornography you know that’s a that’s a matching issue and then if you have that then you meet someone with similar values and then if with that agreement and with you know similar to like monogamous couples versus polyamorous couples if you are polyamorously oriented you should know that about yourself and you should have the freedom to explore that and you should find other polyamorous people you should not be with them monogamously oriented person because they’re going to have drives to be with other people someone’s not going to be happy in that situation so so if you have that agreement in your relationship and you’ve established that and then someone ends up watching pornography I’m not saying that you should be shaming the other person the person that looked at pornography but you sh because you have this agreement you have the right to say hey we have this boundary you weren’t going to do this you agreed you weren’t going to do it whereas another couple um if they were to establish that that’s okay at times then they would the problem is is that there’s so many couples where they’ve literally never talked about it and they don’t even they don’t even know what their values are because they haven’t been encouraged to develop that and they don’t they don’t have the freedom to even choose themselves because of a high control group or even a cult that they’re in regarding um some religion so and I want to be clear there’s a lot of religious people who are very sex positive and watch porn or not whatever so you know it’s not just religion it’s you know culture but so if you’re in a relationship where you never really talked about it or even your partner might have even said to you I don’t watch porn I’m ever going to watch porn but they didn’t properly explore that for themselves and then they ended up watching porn you know it just it’s there’s a lot of conversations that need to happen and as a couple therapists um when people come to my office these kinds of transgressions and I’ve had couples come in for this issue it just blossoms into a whole exploration you know there could be a lot of conversations that need to happen over years that’s right and I I agree with that because sometimes people feel like chemistry and like loving each other is enough and sometimes when you’re just not compatible with the person you have to be honest about that instead of getting into a marriage and then these things come up later and I remember one of your videos you actually said this and it stuck with me you said Opposites Attract but they don’t last and I really agree with that like if you have you know opposite views on everything and you don’t agree on most things even if you love each other it’s not always enough right yeah well if I said that that’s not exactly the way I think about it today but um but yeah um we say opposites attract but in if we when we actually study most couples are way more similar than than we think of them being similar absolutely but but absolutely we should be talking about these things up front you know these kinds of com but of course because we live in a sex negative culture people don’t even know that they should be thinking about it let alone talking about it with their dating partners well yeah definitely and the most successful relationships that I’ve seen people usually have like the couples will usually have the same values and I agree with what you said we live in a sex negative culture even here in the US like we need to open that’s why we’re having these conversations here at site to go because we want to perpetuate and promote a more sex positive culture and so that brings me to our audience segment where we answer your viewer questions we have tons of fans in here from psych2go and psychology in Seattle over 500 people are in here and there’s a lot of questions so are you ready Dr Honda I am okay so first question Jennifer asked how do I tell my parents about my porn addiction without upsetting them I have a very strict religious background and I don’t want to tear my family apart wow um well one um you’d have to uh uh truly Define as to whether or not you have a porn addiction um is it that you look at porn and masturbate and it’s not really a problem in your life and it’s only a problem in your life because of the culture and the family that you live in or are you actually compulsive and it actually is ruining you’re like you know that’s a huge distinction you can have for example oh I won’t go down that road but well let’s go down that road let’s say that uh you know back in the day they would pathologize being gay for example and one of the criteria was that you say well given your sexual behavior or impulses is it negatively affecting your life and they would say yes it is but that’s only because of Oppression and stigma and um hate so um and the individual might even believe they deserve it because they’ve been told that right so just because it’s impacting your life doesn’t necessarily mean you have an addiction it could be that your life and your context is the problem and it’s not you so that’s an important distinction to to make um but if you do have a legit addiction and you want to tell you what so the question is how do I tell my family yeah that’s pretty much in a nutshelly other question like how do I tell them without them yeah freaking out essentially I don’t know but one you don’t necessarily have to tell your family uh you could if you want to um you also have options you know if you’re in a jurisdiction that the laws are such that this is true that you can seek clinical help mental health treatment in a confidential way and then you feel like some if someone has a porn addiction they don’t they shouldn’t have to disclose it to family and friends because some people have differing opinions on that like they should tell people I don’t know well there’s no like scientific obligation that they have that anyone has to tell anyone about uh any of an addiction that they have um so that’s a value statement I suppose yeah but uh I would hope that any family would care about their members and if someone is suffering from porn addiction that they would want to be helpful and a big part of being helpful is to not attack them for disclosing that they’re suffering from something so I it would I would it would be understandable if someone you know reasonably predicted that they would be attacked the overall um effect would be negative for them that they would conclude that they would not tell them at first at the very least uh you know I wouldn’t fault them for that but yeah you should get help uh the help you deserve to get the help that that um you deserve you deserve your help absolutely or um that’s the bottom line and if your family can be a part of that then great and if they can’t then screw them yeah exactly Jennifer I wish you luck with that and you shouldn’t feel bad about being open about your addiction so moving on to the next question this was asked by John Leon he asked what if you’re in a relationship and you have a porn addiction and you’re actively trying to get rid of those urges should your partner still divorce you in your opinion what do you think Dr Honda uh what if you’re in a relationship you have poor Direction you’re actually trying to get rid should the partner still divorce I mean it depends obviously it could be a a reason well a lot you know there’s a lot of factors that could play a role um but I wouldn’t I would have clinically I would not I can’t answer that question because that’s a question that comes from someone’s heart as a citizen I would have an opinion about that if my friends for example they came to me and they were like yeah my partner has a porn addiction they’re really working hard on it but screw them I don’t want to be with an addict you know I judge that person for ditching their partner when they’re in need and also given that they’re trying so you know I think that it it depends on the situation I can also see another situation where someone is legit trying to um uh recover from porn addiction but it’s taking a long time it’s continuing to degrade everyone’s life including the the person with the porn addiction and everyone around them and especially their partner um you know it takes a long time there’s a lot of relapses there’s a lot of suffering and could I see a scenario where friends come to me and say look I know they’re working on it but I just can’t take it anymore and I just can’t do it you know what I think that was reasonable perhaps so it just depends on the situation the next question is from Club they asked hello doctor what do I do if I suffer from a porn addiction but I’m in a relationship with someone who is asexual well again it depends on if you actually have a porn addiction you know um I I would say 60 of the time when a client came to me saying they had a prediction I did not actually conclude that they had a compulsive porn problem um so it all depends on the compulsiveness and the obsessiveness and the negative effects on one’s life so there’s that but if it’s legit porn addiction um so the question is oh I don’t see the question oh sorry so how do I deal with it with my partner one of my partner with asexual yeah that’s the question like what do you do if your partner’s asexual but you have a poor addiction which in my opinion would be like an issue of incompatibility but that’s just my take that depends um it all just depends on what you’ve communicated about and your agreements it’s all about agreements and it’s all about communication so yep if you uh legit have a porn addiction um how does your partner feel about it regardless of their asexuality um how does it affect them how does it affect you um that’s what I’d say to that thank you and then um the next question is from Morgan the void she asked what if and this is an amazing question actually it’s a really good question what if porn addiction coexists with a drug addiction does one fuel the other and should they be treated separately or both at the same time yeah it is a good question um they often are coexisting co-occurring comorbid um uh addictions tend to do that but with porn addiction particular it is according to research associated with drug addiction um do they feel each other they they can yeah um also they can generate from the same place and should they meaning that um someone needs to escape in general and they use both porn and substance to escape um also uh about in terms of treatment could they be treated at the same time yeah you can go to a 12-step group you can even go to out AAA you know Alcoholics Anonymous and um talk about the if if alcohol is the drug of choice and the individual is recovering from alcoholism through AAA um you know AAA groups in my experience would will welcome compulsions of other sorts like pornography and that kind of thing um and the same principles can be followed of having a sponsor and uh you know trigger management and um setting up a system that is uh you know conducive to success all the same principles apply to both addiction recoveries and then this next question is asked by Melissa this is actually I think like a fan question someone who’s like really into psychology in Seattle they asked Melissa ask Dr Honda when are you gonna have Darcy and Stacy on your podcast I don’t think they would ever want to come out too I I would love to talk to them uh I have so many questions because I I always wonder I mean I would love to talk to them off camera really just just to know um I’ve talked with people in their life off camera um but Paul right but I don’t think they would ever want to come on my show is the point I always say I watch your channel and I always say that I feel like you should be the host of the 90 90 Day Fiance reunions or of the darcian Stacy or unions because I think you’re that good I’m not that good I would screwed up um I look up to Sean a lot uh Sean Robinson yeah she’s good but I just I just cite though you like are a licensed family marriage that’s what they need but I would be I’d Yammer I’d ask too many questions I’d have too many caveats I you know I I would uh I’d probably be too nice because I I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so uh I uh and plus on camera with all the lights and everything I I yeah I would freeze I wouldn’t know what to do so it is a lot of pressure yeah yeah yeah yeah so but that would you make an appearance that they invited you because they do that sometimes they have like guests up here like experts appear if they invited you like hey do you want to just do like film a little segment would you do it no because I threw that one up too somehow and it would end up in the edit and I would never be able to sleep at night again so no I want to be here in my office with my own microphone and my ass it’s like everything’s fine my dogs and my wife are in the other room and everything’s good so I love that and then um someone Mondo asked how do you tell the difference between porn addiction and I’m guessing they are referring to other addictions uh well there isn’t a difference necessarily regarding the pattern you know the obsession the compulsions the the negative effects the progressive nature the shame the hiding the uh difficulty controlling it the you know it gets worse over time but the main difference is one involves pornography and the others involve the other Behavior or substances and then Emma asks is porn addiction linked to other mental illnesses like depression or Adrenaline Junkies you can read that on the screen yeah I mean um Adrenaline Junkies uh sometimes in the research will call this like sensation Seekers this sort of thing but yeah it does co-occur with uh mainly anxiety but also mood disorders depression bipolar um also trauma-related disorders I’m trying to think off the top of my head mainly anxiety depression those sorts of things yeah and then you answer this question but just like I think that it’s really important to our viewers to know this Angel 777 asks is important addiction if it doesn’t affect your social and work life in general is it an addiction if it doesn’t affect um no it’s it’s not it’s not an addiction if it doesn’t if it doesn’t negatively impact your life it’s a very squishy you know evaluation there’s a lot of debate there also when you talk to someone who actually we would term as having a problem use of porn they might be in denial of it and you ask everyone around them um you know is there a problem there they might say yes but the individual is in denial so you know there’s a lot of different things that have to be taken into consideration but yeah if objectively or as objectively as you can answer this question there’s no negative impact of watching pornography then yeah it’s it’s not it’s not it’s not a problem this will be our last viewer question sailor CS is there any way to help my partner overcome a porn addiction I know it’s their choice to overcome it but I want to help if I can yeah that’s a great question um you know we’ve been working on this question and people have been working on this question for decades um both clinically and partners of people who suffer from addiction Al-Anon the group is has been around for a long time there’s a lot of wisdom and a lot of guidance that Al-Anon can provide for people who have Partners addicted to any substance or behavior like like pornography so you can seek their um re their support groups out and their information um but it is um it’s it’s difficult because uh you can watch your partner suffer from a problem and it hurts them mostly but it also hurts you and uh everything you know they’re powerless over their addiction you are even more powerless if it’s possible to be more powerless over over something and um everything generates from the individual having most of them most of the time want to recover so they have to want to do it and there’s a lot of research and observation about how people have those those moments where they turn the corner and they say yeah I I I’ve done little things here and there you know I tried using filters online or I I said to myself I was going to um you know uh you know take my laptop and put it in my wife’s bedroom and and then that’ll prevent me from you know peop they’ll take these little measures but it’s never enough with addiction it it defines a way and um eventually they get to a point and they just and how do they get there and when will they get there and how do we get them there you know there’s a lot of wisdom and experience around this and if you’re a partner of that um you know getting to know that wisdom and getting that help and having guidance around that is important but um but it depends on your partner if your partner doesn’t want to make that choice then they don’t make that choice and then you have and then you have to make choices yourself about what you want to do about that could be a deal breaker at a certain point you could draw boundaries around it um you know there’s there’s a lot of uh difficulty there is is what I’m saying yeah but if but the the the breeding ground for that to happen that you do have control over and I can’t say is um you don’t want to add to the shame is the point absolutely or the stigma yeah you want to um and you also want to speak from your feelings instead of saying to someone um you have a problem and you know this is bothersome you want to say you want to convey to them in a non-accusatory and as you know compassionate way as you can how their addiction affects you when when you do this and I see you doing this I have these emotions and maybe and I’m unreasonable but this is how I’m feeling what that’ll do is it alerts the person with the addiction to the negative consequences because they can go into denial of it um also there’s it gives them a chance to have compassion and empathy for you which at the very least in the moment can be helpful to you as a partner of someone with addiction um but also in you know it it that it doesn’t have stigma or shaming or conflict the person with the addiction is Freer you know people who recover from addictions their lives tend to need to go a little better than they were earlier because when you’re suffering from addiction it starts to impact your life people start to distance your life starts falling apart then you need the the substance or the behavior even more because you need to escape or you need just something to get you through it so if uh you can not add to that now you don’t want to enable so you know there’s a lot of things to talk about in terms of a lot but if you can create a space where it’s just like hey if you want to recover I am right here for you and I love you and um I care about you and uh if you want to talk about it you know just an open experience but you know it’s hard to do when you’re in the moment because you’re hurt by it it’s it’s it can be really hurtful well thank you for that Dr Honda and thank you to our amazing viewers for participating in our fun audience segment and so that brings me to my last question Dr Honda I want to know what can we do to dismantle the stigma around just the use of pornography and porn addiction should we have sex education in schools like what can our society do yeah I don’t know uh he’s too intimidated by the question because in the past in the past I would have thought yeah I mean let’s increase education um but there are certain movements in our society in our country that are going in the opposite direction so um and preventing these kinds of things from even being discussed in schools or otherwise so I I don’t know I I do know in my lifetime things have gotten better um yeah even in the last 10 years uh so all of us doing including you during this episode um is furthering that destigmatization and and that seems to be working so I would say that just everyone keep doing what they’re doing keep talking about it actually talk to experts um yeah talk about in schools age-appropriateness um just uh the destigmatization of treatment in general therapy in general and Recovery in general so I I would say uh everyone just keep doing what Michelle is doing yeah just do what I’m doing okay I’m just kidding well thank you Dr Hana thank you for joining us um I’m a huge fan we’ve had so many fans in here and they’re so happy to have been able to participate today thank you again ah thanks for having me and thank you everyone at psych2go and psychology in Seattle for joining us today have a great day bye .

Déroulement de la vidéo:

4.68 hello psych2go viewers Our Guest for today’s live stream is Dr Kirk Honda you
10.679 may know him from his amazing YouTube channel psychology in Seattle which has amassed millions of views and over 300
17.22 000 subscribers uh Michelle Rivas host of psychology Roundtable and we’re super excited to have Dr Kirk Honda here today
24.18 welcome thank you so much for joining us today thanks for having me and so could you tell us a little bit
30.0 about yourself and your background for those who don’t know uh well I’ve been a therapist and a
36.42 professor for 27 years-ish in Seattle and I’ve been a YouTuber and podcaster
44.54 for 15 years we just celebrated our 15th anniversary with a 15-hour YouTube live
51.96 stream this past weekend that’s amazing and when the YouTube channel started after the podcast right
58.5 slightly yeah I had a student at the time who said you have to put your stuff
64.379 on YouTube and I was like YouTube why because I didn’t know any better but uh
69.78 here we are yeah and so it’s different though having I’m sure a podcasting YouTube It’s like a two different
75.479 platforms so but that’s amazing and so just to start off I wanted to ask so
81.18 this is such an important conversation because roughly about 40 million Americans click on porn related sites
87.479 regularly and so I just really wanted to cover this topic it’s kind of all over YouTube so to start off I want to task when does the use of pornography cross
94.38 the line from healthy to dangerous such as developing an addiction yeah people often will Define any sort
102.84 of addiction including porn addiction as a frequency issue like if you do it x
109.2 amount per week or per day or for you know this amount of hours then you have
114.6 an addiction and that’s not how we clinicians Define addiction we don’t even use the word Addiction typically
121.02 we’ll use compulsion or problem use and with porn compulsion or porn addiction
127.32 colloquial what we call it um the individual regardless of how
133.739 often they consume pornography and really we’re talking about pornography and masturbation usually it’s not
140.879 although pornography addiction can include a fair amount of
146.099 uh pornography viewing that has nothing to do with self stimulation or with um
152.76 masturbation so um but it often does involve that anyway so I just want to throw that in there
158.22 but the definition of a compulsion or a problem use or a you know a problem with
165.36 with porn is one is that you’re obsessed with the pornography meaning that you’re
170.819 preoccupied you’re thinking about it you have intrusive thoughts you have cravings that’s an uncontrollable urge
176.7 to think about it even though you don’t want to you also have an Associated compulsion
182.18 to view pornography you spend more time than you want to you often spend a lot
188.519 of time interferes with other parts of your life you’re neglecting parts of your life or you can even get fired from
194.28 a job because you were looking at it at work I’ve had people mandated to see me
199.56 for that and then there’s negative consequences because of the obsession
204.72 because of the compulsion to your job relationships to your self-esteem to your health happiness Hobbies money that
210.84 kind of thing and and more uh you know uh severe addictions of any sort the
217.8 individual will have a lot of excuses because they’re out of control for them for themselves and they have they’re
225.06 having a hard time there’s cognitive dissonance where they have this need and they keep acting out that need there’s
230.94 another part of this like I don’t want to do this and sometimes what that will mean push comes to shove is they will
237.12 actually suppress or have all these internal denial mechanisms that actually
242.22 will repress that voice that is saying no so they might even tell themselves this is natural or everyone is doing
249.42 this or um it’s normal to neglect your kids while you’re looking at porn that kind
255.54 of thing and then there’s a lot of Shame often involved for a lot of people with addiction there’s a there’s a shame
262.079 cycle if you will of um self-esteem degradation relationship
267.78 falling apart um I’m not worthy you know there’s a so those those are the ways that we can
273.6 Define it in terms of how often you know typically for the people that I’ve treated and clinically people who have a
280.919 a addiction to porn we’re talking about typically but not always this individual is is looking at
288.0 pornography several hours a day and they are potentially masturbating several
293.88 times a day and it is um it’s a it’s a constant monkey on
300.24 their back uh it’s it’s always you know it’s sort of like with cigarette addiction you go for half an hour
307.8 without smoking a cigarette and then the Cravings start beginning you know you’re at a movie theater and you can’t smoke
312.84 in this voice is just like you know you can skip this part go outside and have a cigarette and you’re just like no I want
318.72 to watch this movie you know it’d be the same with pornography you might be in a movie theater and you just be like you know just play your phone look it’s
324.36 important and and it just it’s a constant like it’s intrusive yeah oh yeah yeah
330.539 it’s not like hmm what should I do right now well you know maybe it it interferes with like
336.96 compulsive yeah yeah and so do you think so you mentioned the shame around porn
343.32 edition and I was wondering do you feel like it’s like a vicious cycle the stigma and the shame that people often
349.32 sort of like receive for even just watching porn does it like perpetuate their need to watch it even more because
354.84 it’s a way of suppressing their feelings and maybe reality in a lot of ways like the way we approach it as a society the
360.84 way we kind of like villainize people who watch porn like no that’s bad would you say yeah yeah absolutely I mean yeah
367.199 the broader topic is sex negativity and uh there’s a lot I could say about that
375.0 but yeah absolutely it can I mean there’s a there’s shame and stigma regarding any addiction cigarettes
382.38 included right and it can but when you think sorry I’m
387.6 so sorry to interject but like when you think about it let’s just be honest as a society sometimes there are some addictions that
393.479 people deem more acceptable like if someone says they have a smoking addiction they might not get the same looks as someone who says I have a porn
399.24 addiction people might perceive that person or label that person a perv or a creep because they have a porn addiction
404.34 rather than someone who oh they just have a nicotine addiction you know oh yeah absolutely yeah absolutely yeah and
411.539 the isolation of that self-esteem degradation of that the
417.0 um the need so you know it creates a cycle of I’m ashamed of myself I’m worthless I’m pushing myself away from
422.759 other people I need I’m feeling bad I need some way to cope I’m going to turn to porn I feel ashamed of myself and you
429.72 know just keeps going round and round for people the other thing though is that I want to say is that there’s a lot
436.08 of over self-diagnosing we’ve known this for a long time with porn addiction
441.38 there’s a number of reasons for this one is is just misunderstanding of what
446.58 addiction is or what compulsions are problem uses but also that uh for some people because
453.66 of religion or culture or sex negativity any porn amount of watching is
460.74 considered a problem and thus yeah um if you’re watching porn and you know
466.139 like a common scenario that I’ve seen in my office is you’ll have say a husband
471.84 who you know is 15 20 years into marriage the sexual frequency has
479.4 dropped off a little bit maybe there’s some trauma that he’s dealing with there’s a widening distance and
486.9 particularly physically between him and his partner and he turns to pornography and
493.44 masturbation as a way of gratifying a need or just something to do and say he
499.979 does it once or twice a week and he gets caught he gets caught and according to
505.62 his religion and his wife’s religion and the values that they have this is is considered cheating which is fine if
512.099 that’s how people wanted to find this is why you want to talk about these things up front with your dating partners because right it might come up and
521.159 um you know because there’s different values around this similar to like should we have kids or not you should probably talk about that sort of thing
527.399 before things get too far into the relationship but um so they have this value and then he
533.76 says okay I’m never going to do it again I’m never gonna I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I I sinned or I broke the Covenant
539.459 of our marriage or you know yes I agree with you I’m so sorry I’m so sorry and then he goes for three months without
545.76 looking at porn or masturbating and then he has a couple beers with some friends come comes home and he’s just like ah
552.959 screw it you know it’s been so long since I’ve you know met that need and I haven’t had sex with my wife in six
559.08 months he does it he gets caught and then he ends up in my office and he says I have a porn addiction
565.86 um I would not Define that as a porn addiction depending all right yeah I would have to ask him questions but there’s a lot of people that will Define
571.86 it as a porn addiction which um you know it to my eyes it’s someone
577.8 that has a need that is not being met now it’s not the wife’s fault you know
582.98 she has you know he is sneaking around and he is lying and he is uh absolutely
588.12 being deceptive but I have worked with couples of opening it up to the possibility of just
595.38 like well let’s let’s look at that I would never tell you to change your point of view about pornography and masturbation but you do have a choice
602.94 regarding that and you can still choose to have that value but maybe you’ve never even raised the question in your mind of
608.76 what do I want to believe about that and and or maybe we need to work on your sexuality you know it opens up a lot of
614.88 conversations is the point and um I wouldn’t be treating porn addiction in that situation I’m treating a lot of
621.06 different issues for that couple well I think that the prompt too is sometimes when we approach individuals who have an
626.16 addiction I think that the first instinct sometimes for like family members and friends is to villainize them and to label them as an addict and
633.54 that can be really hurtful and upsetting to that person and they don’t want that label but then you know maybe it causes
640.26 depression anxiety and it makes them want to watch porn more or whatever that addiction is it makes them want to do them more because they’re being shamed
646.44 by their loved ones and being villainized absolutely yeah yeah and so what are some signs and symptoms that
652.74 someone can look out for in themselves or in someone else that could indicate a porn addiction yeah so
659.82 um there are various different online screening tools many of them are not
665.22 very good um I did find one well because well for example I mean if
671.76 you really just want to get specific there’s a a very common if not the most common screening test is called the
679.14 internet sex screening test and it has to do with internet porn and
685.019 a number of the items on here I would not be uh I would not consider them to
690.06 be necessarily signs of porn addiction what’s called that like for example
695.519 pathological well right I mean it’s totally within normal limits to people
700.92 that people have these kinds of behaviors like yeah you know um I have one of the items is yes or no
707.64 I have joined I have joined sexual sites to gain access to online sexual material
712.98 yeah I have joined a website a porn website that has porn
719.459 um what you know like that’s a lot of people right right um or I have purchased sexual products
725.88 online yeah that doesn’t indicate an addiction or anything pathological it doesn’t
731.1 necessarily have to do with pornography I mean you could buy a toy online and and have be a total healthy thing so
737.16 yeah it’s but there is one test I mean they do have items on there that are more in line but there’s a lot of false
743.64 positives and I you know there’s I could get into the problem with the research and the treatment in this field because
749.459 there’s a lot of yeah religiosity that is uh interwoven in this and sex negativity but in terms of the uh the
758.16 test that I found that is actually a good one is called a porn addiction test
763.2 and it’s on cycom.net um which is it’s not really something that psychologists use but
771.18 um but I did find it to be helpful there are a lot of other tests but anyway one that’s free online it’s called the porn
776.519 addiction quiz on cyclone.n so one of the questions is there’s nine questions do you spend a lot of time thinking
782.76 about pornography so that’s so if you answer yes to that then that’s an
787.8 indicator another is do you ever lose track of time while you’re watching porn so meaning that you probably think well
795.42 I’ll look at porn for 10 minutes or 15 minutes and then it’s three hours later that’s a common experience for people
801.48 who have porn videos yeah number three is have you ever tried to cut back on how much porn you consume so that you
807.36 know that’s a typical addictions question do you ever feel Restless or irritable when you try to cut back on
813.12 porn so that yeah points to a compulsion a craving intrusive thought because
819.18 withdrawal symptoms yeah yeah you can put it that way have you ever lied about how much porn you actually watch has
826.38 pornography ever interfered with your work school or relationships that’s a good one yeah that’s good do you ever
831.899 continue to watch porn even when it had negative consequences on your relationship or your work have you ever
838.38 done anything illegal to access pornography do you ever do you ever feel guilty sad or anxious about watching
844.079 looking at porn that last one’s a little funny because a lot of people will shame themselves because of sex negativity but but you get the picture that you know
851.339 are you spending a lot more time than you want to be do you have uncontrollable urges about it have you
858.66 had negative consequences in your life because of you watching porn because someone could watch porn and masturbate
865.98 you know four hours a day but if they have all their other life aspects yeah
871.8 going well and their relationships their work finances their health
877.44 you know it’s it’s a hobby it’s something that they just really like to do and
882.48 um there’s nothing wrong with that there’s nothing pathological yeah thank you I don’t think that’s clarified
887.579 enough the act of watching porn isn’t bad like you can watch porn it doesn’t make you a bad person or a perv but it’s
894.18 just when it becomes an addiction that’s when it’s pathological and even then you’re not a pervert creeper and we shouldn’t label people that right yeah
900.959 yeah most people watch porn most people masturbate so if yeah if watching porno
907.44 masturbating is that you’re perv then I guess most people are pervs right
912.6 exactly and so do you think just you know switching over to the causes of it
917.94 what are some of the root causes for porn addiction in your opinion do you believe it’s like an escape mechanism
923.639 it can be yeah so one of the problems with answering this question is we don’t
928.8 really have a lot of robust research around this because one it’s a taboo
935.699 topic even within my field to some extent because uh I mean it’s not a top
941.76 you know for me to read research about pornography addiction isn’t taboo but when you commit yourself as a clinician
948.36 or an academic to this is going to be my thing you know it raises questions people are like well what’s why is he so
955.079 interested in this topic right so it tends to be really yeah yeah I even ran into this when I when I was proposing a
962.699 research study at my University about um caming you know pornography caming you
970.019 know yeah it’s cam people who are cam performers this would have been I don’t know 15
975.48 years ago or something I was proposing this because I wanted to know the uh the effect that it had on couples because
982.199 it’s one thing for someone to watch pornography right if you had a partner that watched porn or you sort of knew that maybe they watched porn uh it’s
989.699 another thing if they’re actually interacting with a human being across chat across video uh you know live video
998.1 um because I wondered if that crossed the line or if it was actually just considered because it’s all internet
1003.98 stuff I saw so I propose this and I had colleagues of mine mentors of mine who
1009.92 told me um this is not a good idea for your career because people are going to ask questions as to why you’re even looking
1016.279 looking into this and I’m like that’s stigma yeah yeah I’m like but so even in
1021.32 my field and I Didn’t Do It For the record because I did a completely other uh yeah that makes sense
1027.74 um so that’s one problem another is that of the people that are motivated to do this research they’re often uh biased
1034.579 due to religion so they have a bone to pick and the research studies the research studies will look legit but
1041.24 when you read them it it’s um skewed it seems that way anyway and you know there
1047.66 are religious universities like BYU that are uh you know it’ll say in the
1053.12 research study that it you know the professors and the research so you never know anyway but the causes that we can
1059.539 look to that are often uh you know identified with lots of addictions are it can be hereditary for example you
1066.679 know really oh yeah susceptible not to porn addiction per se but to addiction
1072.02 and compulsions um you know you have you’re prone to pleasure triggers so to speak and having
1079.76 those um activations in your brain that are more effective than other people you know there’s some models that include
1085.94 that another is childhood mistreatment is associated with a lot of trauma yeah
1092.0 um including addition um there’s a lot of different reasons to why that would be but uh moving forward
1098.96 another uh possibility is that for some people that are you know it seems like
1105.98 there’s some evidence that our initial experiences in sexuality as we’re developing as children and teenagers
1113.02 will imprint on us to some extent you know certain fetishes or preferences
1118.34 that we have as adults can be traced back to very early experience the first
1124.34 time you felt that charge the first time you felt that that you know that that sexual feeling if it was associated with
1131.48 a particular uh stimulus then and especially if that’s reinforced
1137.0 throughout early development you know you for example you have one kid who uh 13 looks at porn masturbates
1145.4 but also will start dating and and fooling around physically with peers
1152.059 within reason and uh for that individual there’s a variety of things that are being encoded
1158.24 as this is how you meet this need um whereas another person the first
1163.82 experience they have is with pornography and it’s very intense for them and they
1169.52 don’t have any experiences with other human beings then that can lead to
1175.1 problem use in the future and also an inability to find safety or Comfort or being turned
1182.84 on by real human beings because you know your brain has been conditioned to respond to a particular stimuli
1189.28 pornography so it’s not pornography people often because there are there is research that will point to early
1195.44 pornography exposure can be related to these things but but there’s other evidence
1201.02 and the way that I think about it is that it’s not that you necessarily need to take away pornography
1207.14 um although kids certainly don’t need pornography you know um I mean there are some benefits to
1213.32 pornography that I should say just uh you know while I’m on this topic that there is research and it’s been around
1219.26 for a long time that for a lot of people um they discovered themselves their identity they because they might be in a
1226.16 very sex-negative culture or church or family yeah and they watch you know because porn is a wide variety of
1232.88 content you know you have everything from you know very explicit you know I
1238.82 don’t know what you call it but um that kind of pour into people just talking about their bodies and enjoying
1245.78 themselves and or or couples that are um just regular people that are um open
1251.539 about their sexuality um you know queer people uh you know all sorts of folks and so
1257.9 for an individual they might actually be liberated um and destigmatized and uh so they
1264.62 might really benefit from pornography and that that research has been around for a long time yeah but um but anyway
1270.86 so uh the idea is is that with teenagers we really want to help them to not have
1278.66 barriers to actually meeting people in person and developing normally in that
1284.299 way you know age-appropriate wherever they want maybe it’s later at 18 or maybe it’s as young as 12 when they
1290.419 start to hold hands with someone or something you know to get that ball rolling because that’s that’s typically
1295.7 seemingly maybe how we evolved which is uh perhaps best
1300.799 another way of looking at it in terms of cause is that we evolved to you know you
1306.86 think about a million years ago we evolved to it seems we evolved to
1312.559 respond to stimuli visually and auditory so when we see sexual images or naked
1320.059 bodies or people having sex or whatever we seem to respond to that and the
1326.6 theory goes is that we’re on the African Savannah 200 000 years ago and we see an
1331.64 attractive potential partner or even hear people having sex it sort of reminds us of it or something
1338.26 and it introduces the the drive right and you you have a motivation
1345.5 well on the African Savannah 200 000 years ago for us the about the you know
1351.2 the amount of times that would happen in a day would be limited right but um with the internet and with
1357.26 pornography it can be constant right so similar to the way that Cheetos and
1364.28 nachos hack into my evolved motivation to have fats and sugars and and
1371.48 um and salt um to Too Much degree which isn’t healthy for my body pornography can hack
1378.44 into your system to give you too much of what you want and then for some people that can develop into uh problem use
1386.0 right yeah and speaking of over stimulation or like what you just
1391.4 mentioned um because of like that over stimulation or being exposed to pornography all the time possibly
1396.799 because of an addiction do you think that porn can impact bonding and romantic relationships because people
1401.9 have this idealized um this idea in their head of what like sex should be and do you think it kind
1408.86 of Damages relationships or what would you say to some extent it can’t it goes both ways so it can both damage or be
1415.64 neutral or be positive for relationships it it really just it’s sort of like the way people talk about social media
1421.7 they’ll be like well social media rots your brain and research demonstrates that yeah for some people there can be
1428.299 some negative effects but for other people it actually enhances their brain yeah their moves
1434.36 um so it just depends on the context on the person on the way they use it on the
1439.7 whole picture so for one couple absolutely or for one individual and we have studied this and found this to be
1446.36 true for some that when they watch pornography it’ll twist their mind regarding what a body should look like
1453.26 or what sex should look like um it could be particularly misogynistic and sexist and in a lot of Corners it’s
1459.38 getting better over time yes but um and it’s particularly bad in some societies like the United States and
1465.44 places like Japan where it is um you know exaggerated and uh uh demeaning to
1472.34 women but so you could and you could imagine someone being influenced in that way uh or a couple that uh you know
1480.62 their relationship starts to cool off and one or both of them watch a lot of pornography and
1486.14 um and it creates this distance because there isn’t a motivation to bond sexually or there could be hurt and
1492.919 betrayal feelings but for another couple another individual it could liberate
1497.96 them it could give them ideas it could be a a nice thing to do when your
1503.659 partner isn’t around it can be a way of flirting with your partner you could do it with your partner you can talk about
1509.96 it with your partner um you know there’s just uh it really just depends on on how it’s being used
1516.38 and we as a society have play a role in that because of education and awareness and
1522.26 um also helping to guide young people about what they want to put in their brain right because it’s going to happen
1528.74 in all likelihood so the general approach though is just say no and
1533.779 abstain or prevent and shame which you know doesn’t help
1539.179 and so before we move to our audience segment I just wanted to ask um in terms of sorry just there’s so many questions
1546.919 in here right now yeah there’s a ton of people in here right now and so we’re gonna get to the audience segment soon guys
1554.0 um but I just wanted to know um do you feel that when it comes to the
1559.88 way it impacts relationships um we need to like learn to not stigmatize our partners for their use of
1566.72 pornography like how do people go about conversations around these things as couples well
1572.059 everything hinges on your values so yeah if
1577.1 um so I would even go further back and say that when people are young that they are given a venue to explore
1586.039 this for themselves of what are my values regarding pornography and masturbation for me and for my
1593.84 partners and if an individual has given enough freedom in space to explore that and
1600.799 they establish their own value regarding that then they can enact that so if they for
1606.679 example are free to develop their own morals and they develop morals saying like I don’t want pornography in my life
1613.94 um because of various different reasons you know and there are legit reasons why someone wouldn’t want pornography in
1620.419 their life they wouldn’t want to contribute to the exploitation of the performers because the industry isn’t
1627.08 set up currently to be able to regulate that um you know there are reasons and so
1633.02 they say I don’t want that in my life and I don’t want my partner to be in that okay so then you got to lead with
1638.659 that when you’re dating it should be in your dating profile similar to you know what sort of age are you looking for do
1643.76 you want to have kids and how do you feel about pornography you know that’s a that’s a matching issue
1648.86 and then if you have that then you meet someone with similar values and then if
1654.26 with that agreement and with you know similar to like monogamous couples versus polyamorous couples if you are
1660.62 polyamorously oriented you should know that about yourself and you should have the freedom to explore that and you
1665.72 should find other polyamorous people you should not be with them monogamously oriented person because they’re going to have drives to be with other people
1671.9 someone’s not going to be happy in that situation so so if you have that agreement in your relationship and
1678.559 you’ve established that and then someone ends up watching pornography I’m not saying that you should be shaming the
1684.32 other person the person that looked at pornography but you sh because you have this agreement you have the right to say hey we have this boundary you weren’t
1690.14 going to do this you agreed you weren’t going to do it whereas another couple um if they were to establish that that’s
1698.059 okay at times then they would the problem is is that there’s so many couples where they’ve literally never talked about it
1704.179 and they don’t even they don’t even know what their values are because they haven’t been encouraged to develop that and they don’t they don’t have the
1710.36 freedom to even choose themselves because of a high control group or even a cult that they’re in regarding
1716.419 um some religion so and I want to be clear there’s a lot of religious people who are very sex
1721.7 positive and watch porn or not whatever so you know it’s not just religion it’s you know culture but so if you’re in a
1729.5 relationship where you never really talked about it or even your partner might have even said to you I don’t
1735.44 watch porn I’m ever going to watch porn but they didn’t properly explore that for themselves and then they ended up
1741.02 watching porn you know it just it’s there’s a lot of conversations that need to happen and as a couple therapists
1747.559 um when people come to my office these kinds of transgressions and I’ve had couples come in for this issue it just
1754.22 blossoms into a whole exploration you know there could be a lot of conversations that need to happen over years that’s right and I I agree with
1760.94 that because sometimes people feel like chemistry and like loving each other is enough and sometimes when you’re just not compatible with the person you have
1767.419 to be honest about that instead of getting into a marriage and then these things come up later and I remember one of your videos you actually said this
1773.6 and it stuck with me you said Opposites Attract but they don’t last and I really agree with that like if you have you
1780.5 know opposite views on everything and you don’t agree on most things even if you love each other it’s not always
1785.72 enough right yeah well if I said that that’s not exactly the way I think about it today
1791.6 but um but yeah um we say opposites attract but in if we
1797.72 when we actually study most couples are way more similar than than we think of
1802.76 them being similar absolutely but but absolutely we should be talking about these things up front you know these
1809.84 kinds of com but of course because we live in a sex negative culture people don’t even know that they should be
1815.36 thinking about it let alone talking about it with their dating partners well yeah definitely and the most successful
1820.399 relationships that I’ve seen people usually have like the couples will usually have the same values and I agree
1826.1 with what you said we live in a sex negative culture even here in the US like we need to open that’s why we’re having these conversations here at site
1832.52 to go because we want to perpetuate and promote a more sex positive culture and
1838.34 so that brings me to our audience segment where we answer your viewer questions we have tons of fans in here
1843.62 from psych2go and psychology in Seattle over 500 people are in here and there’s
1848.659 a lot of questions so are you ready Dr Honda I am okay so first question
1854.659 Jennifer asked how do I tell my parents about my porn addiction without upsetting them I have a very strict
1860.179 religious background and I don’t want to tear my family apart
1865.64 wow um well one um you’d have to uh uh truly Define as
1873.86 to whether or not you have a porn addiction um is it that you look at porn
1880.399 and masturbate and it’s not really a problem in your life and it’s only a
1885.799 problem in your life because of the culture and the family that you live in or are you actually compulsive and it
1893.12 actually is ruining you’re like you know that’s a huge distinction you can have for example
1899.539 oh I won’t go down that road but well let’s go down that road let’s say that uh you know back in the day they would
1906.62 pathologize being gay for example and one of the criteria
1911.799 was that you say well given your sexual behavior or impulses is it negatively
1919.159 affecting your life and they would say yes it is but that’s only because of Oppression and stigma
1926.36 and um hate so um and the individual might even believe
1931.76 they deserve it because they’ve been told that right so just because it’s impacting your life doesn’t necessarily
1936.86 mean you have an addiction it could be that your life and your context is the problem and it’s not you so that’s an
1942.799 important distinction to to make um but if you do have a legit addiction
1948.62 and you want to tell you what so the question is how do I tell my family yeah that’s pretty much in a nutshelly
1954.2 other question like how do I tell them without them yeah freaking out essentially I don’t
1960.679 know but one you don’t necessarily have to tell your family uh you could if you want to
1966.32 um you also have options you know if you’re in a jurisdiction that the laws
1971.48 are such that this is true that you can seek clinical help mental health treatment in a confidential way and then
1977.96 you feel like some if someone has a porn addiction they don’t they shouldn’t have to disclose it to family and friends because some people have differing
1983.96 opinions on that like they should tell people I don’t know well there’s no like scientific obligation that they have
1991.1 that anyone has to tell anyone about uh any of an addiction that they have
1996.26 um so that’s a value statement I suppose yeah but uh I would hope that any family
2002.86 would care about their members and if someone is suffering from porn addiction that they would want to be helpful and a
2011.74 big part of being helpful is to not attack them for disclosing that they’re suffering from something so
2018.1 I it would I would it would be understandable if someone you know reasonably predicted that they would be
2024.34 attacked the overall um effect would be negative for them that they would conclude that they would
2030.279 not tell them at first at the very least uh you know I wouldn’t fault them for that but yeah you should get help uh the
2038.38 help you deserve to get the help that that um you deserve you deserve your help absolutely or
2044.86 um that’s the bottom line and if your family can be a part of that then great and if they can’t then screw them yeah
2049.899 exactly Jennifer I wish you luck with that and you shouldn’t feel bad about being open about your addiction so
2055.899 moving on to the next question this was asked by John Leon he asked what if you’re in a relationship and you have a
2061.359 porn addiction and you’re actively trying to get rid of those urges should your partner still divorce you in your
2067.06 opinion what do you think Dr Honda uh what if you’re in a relationship you have poor Direction you’re actually
2072.339 trying to get rid should the partner still divorce I mean it depends obviously it could be a a reason well
2082.48 a lot you know there’s a lot of factors that could play a role um
2087.7 but I wouldn’t I would have clinically I would not I can’t answer
2093.159 that question because that’s a question that comes from someone’s heart as a citizen I would have an opinion about
2099.82 that if my friends for example they came to me and they were like yeah my partner has a porn addiction they’re really
2105.339 working hard on it but screw them I don’t want to be with an addict you know I judge that person for ditching their
2111.4 partner when they’re in need and also given that they’re trying so you know I think that it it depends on the
2118.9 situation I can also see another situation where someone is legit trying to
2125.02 um uh recover from porn addiction but it’s taking a long time it’s continuing
2131.92 to degrade everyone’s life including the the person with the porn addiction and
2137.38 everyone around them and especially their partner um you know it takes a long time there’s
2142.78 a lot of relapses there’s a lot of suffering and could I see a scenario where friends come to me and say look I
2149.8 know they’re working on it but I just can’t take it anymore and I just can’t do it you know what I think that was
2155.02 reasonable perhaps so it just depends on the situation the next question is from Club they
2161.98 asked hello doctor what do I do if I suffer from a porn addiction but I’m in a relationship with someone who is
2167.98 asexual well again it depends on if you actually have a porn addiction you know um I I
2175.0 would say 60 of the time when a client came to me saying they had a prediction I did not actually conclude that they
2181.54 had a compulsive porn problem um so it all depends on the compulsiveness and the obsessiveness and
2188.619 the negative effects on one’s life so there’s that but if it’s legit porn
2194.68 addiction um so the question is oh I don’t see the question oh sorry so how do I deal with
2200.619 it with my partner one of my partner with asexual yeah that’s the question like what do you do if your partner’s
2207.18 asexual but you have a poor addiction which in my opinion would be like an issue of incompatibility but that’s just
2213.22 my take that depends um it all just depends on what you’ve
2218.38 communicated about and your agreements it’s all about agreements and it’s all about communication so yep if you uh
2226.599 legit have a porn addiction um how does your partner feel about it
2232.3 regardless of their asexuality um how does it affect them how does it
2237.4 affect you um that’s what I’d say to that thank you and then um the next question is from
2244.359 Morgan the void she asked what if and this is an amazing question actually it’s a really good question what if porn
2249.46 addiction coexists with a drug addiction does one fuel the other and should they be treated separately or both at the
2255.94 same time yeah it is a good question um they often are coexisting co-occurring comorbid
2262.599 um uh addictions tend to do that but with porn addiction particular it is
2268.0 according to research associated with drug addiction um do they feel each other they they can
2273.4 yeah um also they can generate from the same place
2278.5 and should they meaning that um someone needs to escape in general
2283.72 and they use both porn and substance to escape
2288.82 um also uh about in terms of treatment could they be treated at the same time yeah you can go to a 12-step group you
2296.859 can even go to out AAA you know Alcoholics Anonymous and
2302.859 um talk about the if if alcohol is the drug of choice and the individual is recovering from alcoholism through AAA
2310.839 um you know AAA groups in my experience would will welcome compulsions of other
2316.119 sorts like pornography and that kind of thing um and the same principles can be
2321.22 followed of having a sponsor and uh you know trigger management and
2327.76 um setting up a system that is uh you know conducive to success all the same
2333.04 principles apply to both addiction recoveries and then this next question is asked by
2338.38 Melissa this is actually I think like a fan question someone who’s like really into psychology in Seattle they asked
2344.14 Melissa ask Dr Honda when are you gonna have Darcy and Stacy on your podcast
2352.0 I don’t think they would ever want to come out too I I would love to talk to them uh I have so many questions because
2358.54 I I always wonder I mean I would love to talk to them off camera really just just
2365.14 to know um I’ve talked with people in their life off camera
2372.04 um but Paul right but I don’t think they would ever want to come on my show is the point I always say I watch your
2378.16 channel and I always say that I feel like you should be the host of the 90 90 Day Fiance reunions or of the darcian
2384.22 Stacy or unions because I think you’re that good I’m not that good I would screwed up um
2390.04 I look up to Sean a lot uh Sean Robinson yeah she’s good but I just
2395.56 I just cite though you like are a licensed family marriage that’s what they need but I would be I’d Yammer I’d
2402.4 ask too many questions I’d have too many caveats I you know I I would uh I’d
2409.0 probably be too nice because I I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so uh I uh and plus on camera with all
2417.94 the lights and everything I I yeah I would freeze I wouldn’t know what to do so it is a lot of pressure yeah yeah
2424.78 yeah yeah so but that would you make an appearance that they invited you because they do that sometimes they have like
2430.119 guests up here like experts appear if they invited you like hey do you want to just do like film a little segment would
2435.64 you do it no because I threw that one up too somehow and it would end up in the
2441.4 edit and I would never be able to sleep at night again so no I want to be here in my office with my own microphone and
2448.18 my ass it’s like everything’s fine my dogs and my wife are in the other room and everything’s good so I love that
2454.66 and then um someone Mondo asked how do you tell the difference between porn addiction
2460.9 and I’m guessing they are referring to other addictions
2466.68 uh well there isn’t a difference necessarily regarding the pattern you
2473.56 know the obsession the compulsions the the negative effects the progressive nature the shame the hiding the
2481.0 uh difficulty controlling it the you know it gets worse over time but the main difference is one involves
2488.14 pornography and the others involve the other Behavior or substances and then Emma asks is porn addiction
2495.46 linked to other mental illnesses like depression or Adrenaline Junkies
2500.56 you can read that on the screen yeah I mean um Adrenaline Junkies uh sometimes in
2506.14 the research will call this like sensation Seekers this sort of thing but yeah it does co-occur with uh mainly
2514.72 anxiety but also mood disorders depression bipolar
2520.42 um also trauma-related disorders I’m trying to think off the top of my head mainly anxiety depression those sorts of
2527.8 things yeah and then you answer this question but just like I think that it’s really important to our viewers to know this
2534.099 Angel 777 asks is important addiction if it doesn’t affect your social and work life in general
2539.8 is it an addiction if it doesn’t affect um no it’s it’s not it’s not an
2545.74 addiction if it doesn’t if it doesn’t negatively impact your life it’s a very squishy you know evaluation there’s a
2552.94 lot of debate there also when you talk to someone who actually we would term as
2558.88 having a problem use of porn they might be in denial of it and you
2564.28 ask everyone around them um you know is there a problem there they might say yes but the individual is
2570.579 in denial so you know there’s a lot of different things that have to be taken into consideration but yeah if
2576.339 objectively or as objectively as you can answer this question there’s no negative impact of watching pornography then yeah
2583.96 it’s it’s not it’s not it’s not a problem this will be our last viewer question sailor CS is there any way to help my
2590.74 partner overcome a porn addiction I know it’s their choice to overcome it but I want to help if I can
2597.579 yeah that’s a great question um you know we’ve been working on this
2603.16 question and people have been working on this question for decades um both clinically and partners of
2610.48 people who suffer from addiction Al-Anon the group is has been around for
2615.64 a long time there’s a lot of wisdom and a lot of guidance that Al-Anon can provide for people who have Partners
2622.42 addicted to any substance or behavior like like pornography so you can seek their
2628.0 um re their support groups out and their information um but it is um it’s it’s difficult
2635.98 because uh you can watch your partner suffer from a problem and it hurts them mostly
2643.24 but it also hurts you and uh everything you know they’re
2648.819 powerless over their addiction you are even more powerless if it’s possible to
2654.22 be more powerless over over something and um everything generates from the
2662.2 individual having most of them most of the time want to recover so they have to want to
2670.119 do it and there’s a lot of research and observation about
2675.339 how people have those those moments where they turn the corner and they say yeah I I I’ve done little things here
2682.06 and there you know I tried using filters online or I I said to myself I was going
2687.819 to um you know uh you know take my laptop and put it in my wife’s bedroom and and
2695.079 then that’ll prevent me from you know peop they’ll take these little measures but it’s never enough with addiction it
2700.78 it defines a way and um eventually they get to a point and they just and how do they get there and
2708.46 when will they get there and how do we get them there you know there’s a lot of wisdom and experience around this and if
2714.4 you’re a partner of that um you know getting to know that wisdom and getting that help and having
2720.579 guidance around that is important but um but it depends on your partner if
2727.3 your partner doesn’t want to make that choice then they don’t make that choice and then you have and then you have to make
2733.599 choices yourself about what you want to do about that could be a deal breaker at a certain point you could draw
2739.66 boundaries around it um you know there’s there’s a lot of uh difficulty there is is what I’m saying
2746.68 yeah but if but the the the breeding ground for that to happen that you do
2752.02 have control over and I can’t say is um you don’t want to add to the shame is
2757.839 the point absolutely or the stigma yeah you want to
2763.24 um and you also want to speak from your feelings instead of saying to someone
2768.339 um you have a problem and you know this is bothersome you want to say you want
2773.98 to convey to them in a non-accusatory and as you know compassionate way as you can
2779.5 how their addiction affects you when when you do this and I see you
2785.859 doing this I have these emotions and maybe and I’m unreasonable but this is
2791.56 how I’m feeling what that’ll do is it alerts the person with the addiction to
2796.839 the negative consequences because they can go into denial of it um also there’s it gives them a chance
2802.0 to have compassion and empathy for you which at the very least in the moment can be helpful to you as a partner of
2809.26 someone with addiction um but also in you know it it that it
2814.3 doesn’t have stigma or shaming or conflict the person with the addiction is Freer
2820.78 you know people who recover from addictions their lives tend to need to go a little better than they were
2826.48 earlier because when you’re suffering from addiction it starts to impact your life people start to distance your life
2831.819 starts falling apart then you need the the substance or the behavior even more because you need to escape or you need
2838.72 just something to get you through it so if uh you can not add to that now you
2845.5 don’t want to enable so you know there’s a lot of things to talk about in terms of a lot but if you can create a space
2851.44 where it’s just like hey if you want to recover I am right here for you and I
2856.839 love you and um I care about you and uh if you want
2861.94 to talk about it you know just an open experience but you know it’s hard to do when you’re in the moment because you’re
2869.02 hurt by it it’s it’s it can be really hurtful well thank you for that Dr Honda and
2875.8 thank you to our amazing viewers for participating in our fun audience segment and so that brings me to my last
2881.5 question Dr Honda I want to know what can we do to dismantle the stigma around just the use of pornography and porn
2889.3 addiction should we have sex education in schools like what can our society do
2895.66 yeah I don’t know uh he’s too intimidated by the question because in the past in the past I would have
2902.079 thought yeah I mean let’s increase education um but there are certain movements in our
2909.339 society in our country that are going in the opposite direction so
2915.22 um and preventing these kinds of things from even being discussed in schools or otherwise so I I don’t know I I do know
2922.18 in my lifetime things have gotten better um yeah even in the last 10 years uh so
2928.48 all of us doing including you during this episode um is furthering that destigmatization
2936.04 and and that seems to be working so I would say that just everyone keep
2941.319 doing what they’re doing keep talking about it actually talk to experts
2947.5 um yeah talk about in schools age-appropriateness um just uh the destigmatization of
2954.819 treatment in general therapy in general and Recovery in general so I I would say
2960.359 uh everyone just keep doing what Michelle is doing yeah just do what I’m
2966.04 doing okay I’m just kidding well thank you Dr Hana thank you for joining us
2971.079 um I’m a huge fan we’ve had so many fans in here and they’re so happy to have been able to participate today thank you
2977.14 again ah thanks for having me and thank you everyone at psych2go and psychology in Seattle for joining us today have a
2983.5 great day bye
.

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