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La durée (01:12:29s), le titre (Porn & Masturbation: Harmless Habit or Spiritual Stronghold?) et les informations de l’auteur sont des détails importants à considérer, tout comme la description :« Bienvenue dans un autre épisode de Stay True Podcast! D’accord… nous y allons aujourd’hui. Porno. Masturbation. Péché sexuel. Les trucs dont personne ne parle vraiment, mais tant de gens ont du mal. Dans cet épisode, Madi se réalise sur quelque chose que les gens restent souvent silencieux. Si vous vous êtes déjà senti coincé dans la honte, peur d’être honnête ou que vous vous êtes demandé si la liberté est même possible… vous n’êtes pas seul. Et vous n’avez pas à rester coincé. Ce convo est brut, honnête, plein de grâce et de vérités pratiques qui vous aideront à vous libérer. Il est temps d’arrêter de se cacher et de commencer à guérir. N’oubliez pas de vous rester et reste vrai! Questions / sujets discutés et répondus: – La masturbation est-elle un péché? – Que dit vraiment Dieu sur la pureté et la passion? – Jusqu’où est trop loin? – Puis-je être chrétien et regarder du porno? – Outils pour lutter contre la tentation dans la vie quotidienne – Que faire lorsque vous avez gâché et bien plus encore! Ressources utiles: osez être vrai: vaincre les mensonges qui vous lient et vivre la vérité qui vous libère par Madison Prewett Troutt: https://a.co/d/gdfphx5 Rester True Site Web: https://www.staytruepodcast.com Ou utilisez le code StayTrue à la caisse pour 10% de réduction! Connectez-vous avec Stay True! 💙 Instagram | @StayTruePodcast 💙 Tiktok | @staytrue_podcast 💙 Suivez Madison | @madiprew ».
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Déterminer une approche pour interrompre cette pratique
Présenter des stratégies pour prévenir les rechutes
- Désactiver les accès aux contenus pornographiques : Utilisez des outils de contrôle parental ou des bloqueurs de sites.
- Mettre en place un emploi du temps clair : Remplissez chaque moment de votre journée avec des activités productives.
Accentuer l’importance de la solidarité sociale
- Voir un sexologue : Les conseils d’un spécialiste peuvent être précieux pour avancer.notamment ce spécialiste de la chasteté.
- Rejoindre des groupes de soutien : Partager ses objectifs avec d’autres aide à rester motivé.
Fournir des méthodes éprouvées pour limiter cette pratique
- Fixer des objectifs clairs : Adoptez des stratégies progressives ou le mouvement « nofap » pour une abstinence totale.
- Se fixer des objectifs précis : Engagez-vous dans des stratégies progressives ou suivez le mouvement « nofap » pour une abstinence totale.
- Remplacer par d’autres pratiques : Découvrez de nouveaux loisirs ou engagez-vous dans une activité physique.
Chercher à comprendre les origines de l’élargissement de cette pratique
Analyser les effets comportementaux de l’exposition à la pornographie
La pornographie est un facteur influent. Elle accentue souvent l’envie de se masturber et peut brouiller la perception de la sexualité.
Évaluer les effets combinés de la solitude et du désir
L’isolement et le manque de satisfaction dans une relation ou dans la vie personnelle peuvent aussi être des déclencheurs de cette pratique.
Analyser les éléments psychologiques et émotionnels
Le stress, l’anxiété et l’insatisfaction dans d’autres aspects de la vie peuvent favoriser cette pratique habituelle.
Démystifier la dépendance à la masturbation pour mieux la combattre
Établir une définition précise de la masturbation et de ses pratiques
Pratique sexuelle commune, la masturbation est reconnue pour ses effets positifs, notamment sur le stress et la conscience corporelle. Mais en cas d’excès, elle peut s’avérer problématique.
Repérer les indicateurs d’une dépendance
Lorsque la masturbation devient instinctive, elle est souvent marquée par une fréquence élevée et un contrôle insuffisant, ce qui peut perturber les relations amoureuses et affectives.
Rechercher les effets de ces changements sur la santé mentale et physique
La consommation habituelle de pornographie, couplée à l’addiction à la masturbation, crée une stimulation continue du système dopaminergique, pouvant engendrer des troubles comme l’éjaculation précoce, une fatigue générale ou une insatisfaction sexuelle.
Examiner les bénéfices d’une abstinence réussie
Décrire les progrès réalisés en matière de santé mentale
Abandonner cette habitude favorise souvent une plus grande énergie, une meilleure humeur et une concentration accrue.
Démontrer les étapes nécessaires pour un bonheur durable
Réduire la dépendance ouvre la porte à des avantages durables dans la vie quotidienne, professionnelle et sociale.
Souligner les progrès dans la qualité des interactions sociales
Les échanges avec un conjoint s’améliorent, favorisant une plus grande complicité émotionnelle et physique.
Masturbation et rapports intimes : relever le défi du changement
La masturbation, considérée par beaucoup comme un moyen sain d’explorer leur sexualité, peut néanmoins poser problème lorsqu’elle devient une habitude compulsive. Ce défi touche hommes et femmes, interférant alors avec des aspects essentiels de la vie, comme la stabilité mentale, la performance professionnelle et les interactions sociales.
En définitive
Cesser la masturbation compulsive est un processus lent mais réalisable. Un plan structuré et un soutien adapté permettent de surmonter ce challenge et d’atteindre une vie plus équilibrée, pleine d’objectifs plus enrichissants.
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#Porno #masturbation #habitude #inoffensive #bastion #spirituel
Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: we are going to be talking about porn and masturbation du this has been a struggle for me this has been a huge part of my testimony something I’ve struggled with since middle school if sexual sin has been a struggle for you the first thing that you need to do is you need to repent and confess to God you mean I’m not the only one you mean that this is actually something other girls struggle with too i couldn’t believe it it’s not about just sex it’s anytime you orgasm it’s anytime you get worked up it’s anytime you lust any time I gave into sexual sin it never ever ever gave me what I was looking for but every single time I resisted sexual sin and I pursued God with all of my heart it always delivered everything my heart desired sin is sin and the enemy is crafty and he wants to destroy your life and so he will use whatever he has to to take your soul so many of us are stuck in sexual sin because we’re dealing with the fruit and not the root he’s not keeping you from pleasure he is protecting you from the things that want to rob you of the life that he died to give you [Music] what’s up guys welcome back to another episode of Stay True Podcast i’m your host Madison Puit Trout and we are back for a solo episode it’s been a minute so it was about time and I’m so excited honestly for a solo episode in what we’re talking about today i’m actually a little nervous because this is a topic that can be hard to talk about even for me it’s it’s a topic that is I think shied away from for a lot of people even in the church and really just all over and so I’m excited i’m nervous all the things and I believe that this is also a topic that whether you are single dating married like no matter what phase of life you’re in or if you are a woman or a man it does not matter who you are where you are where you come from like this is a topic that is applicable to you and it’s a topic that has been a heavy topic for me throughout my life and so I’m excited to kind of just get to share some more of my story even um in today’s podcast but you know let’s start with some updates because let’s just let’s flow into this um first of all I love being a mom you guys okay i love it so much i literally was talking about I used to laugh kind of at the people that when they talked about their kids they like cried and got emotional i am now that person and I am fully the person that is showing everyone they see pictures of their daughter that’s where I’ve I’ve hit that my Instagram page is now a Hosanna fan page i’ve realized this is just where we’re at and I love it for me because she’s truly like the greatest gift and honestly I got so convicted this week i was sitting with the Lord and or no I I wasn’t sitting with the Lord i was sitting with Hosanna and I was staring at Hosanna and I just was having the best time and I was like looking at her and got lost just in time with her i like hours passed by and I looked at the clock and I was like « Wow how’s it already been two hours? » And then I looked at Hosanna and I was like « Mommy could just stare at you all day long i could literally just spend all day with you and not move from this spot. » And it just convicted me because I was like « How often do I view my relationship with the Lord like that? » And the sad reality is not often enough like it’s very rare that I can sit in the presence of the Lord for hours lose track of time get lost with him and gaze upon his beauty and not think about all the things that I need to do not think about what I got going on and what I need to get and how I need to and just like sit with him and genuinely be so moved by his beauty and by his presence and just lose track of time like when was the last time that was your reality because it was convicting for me i’m like I need to make that a reality in my life to where I can spend time with Jesus and I am not thinking about anything else other than him like I get lost in his presence i marvel at his presence i’m moved by his presence and it is just I had to share that with you guys because that’s just something that has been convicting for me this week and I just love being a mom it really is the greatest gift we’re starting to get a little bit more sleep and so we’re thankful for that you know everyday’s hit or miss i never know what I’m going to get some nights sister sleeps through the night other nights sister wakes up three or four times so we’re figuring it out but I am thankful I’m starting to get a little bit more sleep i’m like « Oh I actually can remember things now. » Everyone laughed about mom brain it is a real thing for those of you who don’t have kids I didn’t know what that was and now I have a child and I’m like I know exactly what that is remembering things is so hard and so if I just have a little I don’t really like the word fart but if I have a brain fart in the middle of this episode that is um that’s mom brain and you can thank that um but anyways today guys we are going to be talking about porn and masturbation it sounds so intense it’s honestly even like it’s like oh the P word oh oh no guys this is something that is needed to be talked about and even if I want to go ahead and say this at the beginning because some of you listening might be like « Oh I don’t watch porn. » Um so maybe this doesn’t apply to me some of you guys struggle not with porn but you struggle with fantasies you struggle with movies you struggle with music you struggle with steamy romance novels you struggle with you know samesex attraction you struggle with you know going too far with your your person you’re dating your boyfriend or if you’re a guy listening to this your girlfriend you know so wherever you fall into that category the main thing we’re going to be covering is sexual sin focused on porn and masturbation and we’re going to tie in why purity matters to God why holiness matters to God why that’s a call for the children of God because I think so often we’re like why it’s not that big of a deal like it’s really not that big of a deal or I’m doing this but at least I’m not doing this like we weigh some sins as heavier than others when God cares so much more about our heart than what we’re doing on the outside or what our outside you know sins might be he cares about the posture of our heart and so if our heart is corrupt it’s going to lead to a life of corruption it’s going to lead to us making decisions that are not honoring to him and so we’re going to get to the root of it um in this podcast and I just want to first start by saying this is not wherever you’re at in your journey with Jesus and wherever you’re at pertaining to this topic I want you to know that everyone is welcome and there is no room for shame here there is no room for shame here it says in Romans 8:1 « Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. » If you are a believer condemnation does not mark your life it cannot mark your life and if you are a believer neither can sin we are not called to be slaves to sin we are no longer mastered by our flesh if we are children of God we are led by the spirit of God and so this is to highlight the seriousness of sin this is to bring a weight to the way that we live our life and to how we view our bodies how we view the opposite sex how we view our alone time how we view purity and holiness and all of it is what we’re going to cover in this conversation and I also want to start by saying I will be the first person to raise my hand and say this has been a struggle for me this has been a huge part of my testimony something I’ve struggled with since middle school since middle school and thankfully by the grace of God and by the power of godly community and people around me I have been free from porn and masturbation for I don’t even know 10 years but that was something that enslaved me and marked me for so long that was something I felt like I could not break free from no matter how much I loved Jesus I could not shake that sin i could not break free from porn and masturbation that was something that was so hard for me for so long and I would beat myself up and I would be bound by shame because I knew I loved Jesus and I wanted to live a life for Jesus but I didn’t know how to get unstuck i didn’t know how to break free from that sin and so I want to share a little bit of my story with you guys and then I really want to end with some practicals of how I was able to break free from sin and how I believe God wants you to break free from sin and how you can break free from this addiction that seeks to literally destroy your life because that’s what Satan does he comes to steal kill and destroy john 10:10 and Jesus says « But I have come to give you life and life to the fullest. » And so everything that is of this world everything that is not of God or from God will destroy your life it’ll destroy your peace it’ll destroy your purpose it’ll destroy your relationships and that is exactly what I saw every time I gave into sexual sin every time I gave into sexual sin I was robbed of confidence i questioned my worth and my identity every time I gave into sexual sin I didn’t know my purpose i felt confused i didn’t have clarity i wasn’t led by conviction every time I fell into sexual sin and gave into sexual sin my relationship not only with God but with other believers felt divided felt tense i didn’t know how to engage in those conversations because I was so bound by shame and so if that’s where you’re at I just want to say I’ve been there and even though that’s something that I have been set free from I still have to daily choose a life of purity it’s still a daily choice and so whether you’re single or dating or married even if you’re married it’s still a daily decision and this topic still applies to you because it applies to me and so I kind of mentioned this but uh you know middle school is kind of when this whole thing started happening for me you know your body’s changing you’re curious you’re like « What’s going on? » You know I’m super attracted to guys i’m now all of a sudden boy crazy i want to know how the body works i want to know how the things you know and you’re just you’re curious and you also are at a very vulnerable age where so much is being developed and where so much is starting to happen around you you know more conversations about um guys and girls hooking up are happening and you know you’re starting to listen to some more music that maybe has like some different things in it that maybe not be how your parents raised you and what they told you was good and what was right and so that was my story i started listening to you know music that was talking about girls and guys getting together and all the things and wow I sounded like such a mom right there girls and guys getting together i’m like okay let’s say it for what it is girls and guys having sex and hooking up and all the things and it started with music and it started with shows for me and so I remember and friendships so I remember being at this friend’s house and you know I had already kind of had moments of you know being curious about things and having certain feelings or wondering certain things or fantasizing about certain things i had not told that to anyone i had not pursued to do anything about that but I was curious and I was about 13 years old i went over to a friend’s house and her parents weren’t around and she turned on this show that was extremely inappropriate i don’t even know how this show was accessible on a TV like I I really don’t I don’t know how this was like a show and I don’t even remember what the show was called but all I remember was literally everyone was naked and it was like the Bachelor but like way worse and everyone was naked and everyone was trying to like fight for this like one person’s attention and and it was all about like sex and sexual relationships and you know who she was going to choose based off of who she was attracted to and it was a whole crazy thing but I just remember I had never watched anything like that before and my body started feeling things that I had never felt before and I started you know wondering things that I’d never wondered before and then desiring it and then wanting it and and so I left that time with my friend like genuinely so curious about that and wanting it more like I’m like « Okay now I desire this thing and I want I want to see it and I want to I want to experience it and I need to know more. » And not even that I’m having these thoughts rationally but I’m I’m feeling it you know and so I remember leaving there and I don’t know when it was a week two weeks later that’s when I kind of started searching some things on the internet and I started looking some things up and I was curious and then it led to some YouTube videos and then it led to then masturbating and you know taking it even further and here’s what’s crazy you guys about sin and about especially sexual sin is the enemy will dangle it in front of you saying that it’s going to bring you pleasure that it’s going to bring you freedom that it’s going to bring you satisfaction but every single time you fall for it all that it leads to is bondage and shame every single time I would have this rush of desire to you know see something or do something that I knew wasn’t of God or from God that I knew was impure that I knew was unholy and every time I did it it didn’t give what it promised which was satisfaction and pleasure maybe it did for a moment but then as soon as the moment ended I felt so much shame and I was living in secret shame i didn’t know how to tell anybody about it so that happened to me in middle school and I was again 13 14 years old well I didn’t know how to talk to anybody about it i had you know God-fearing Jesus loving parents who raised me to to be holy who raised me to love Jesus who raised me to go and make disciples and I didn’t know how to talk about something that I felt like was only a dude’s problem i was like « Oh only guys struggle with this thing. » And so I can’t tell anybody this this is so embarrassing this is so not something a girl should struggle with and so then it created even more shame and it also created even more sin because I was living in secret and anytime you live in secret it’s only going to create more sin and it’s only going to create more shame because that’s where the enemy thrives the enemy thrives in secrecy the enemy thrives in isolation anytime you are doing life alone and you are struggling with something that you’re not confessing to anybody else that you’re not having other people hold you accountable in it is going to continue to be a cycle of sin in your life and it is going to almost be impossible to break free from it i don’t want to say totally impossible god can do anything but for me personally I was not able to break free until I brought other people into it until I stopped letting the enemy run my life with living in secrecy and living in isolation and this continued for a long time and then this bled into relationships this bled into then when I would start dating someone I pushed so many boundaries physically and I knew cuz I had you know I was raised my parents told me like the importance of keeping your body for God and for your spouse and the importance of pursuing purity like that had been modeled and that had been you know briefly talked about i was raised in Assemblies of God church and sex was a big no no do not have sex do not have sex do not have sex but the question marks was around everything else so what about all the other stuff what about going to second base what about going to third base wait no third base is third base sex or is third or is home run sex i don’t really know okay but what about all the other stuff what about you know porn and what about you know just crossing a little bit of lines with your your boyfriend or what about just you know dressing this way or looking at this or sending these pictures what about that stuff like that’s where I didn’t have clarity those were the gray areas of this whole purity thing that I was not clear on that I was not certain about and so because of that I found myself continuing to push boundaries and continuing to go further than I knew deep down in my heart that I wanted to go or that I knew I should go because I didn’t have clarity and I would excuse it with well I’m not having sex like I’m not having sex so like I can still do all these other things because I’m not having sex and I just want to say okay guys I’m taking a short break from this podcast to tell you about some exciting news my new book Dare to Be True Stay True Dare to Be True it just makes sense when God laid this podcast on my heart I actually had already started working on my next book Dare to Be True and the whole point of this podcast and the whole point of this book is we were all designed and made for truth and everyone in this world is searching for it yet so many of us are searching for the right things in all of the wrong places and this book is all about tackling the lies that often entangle us and bind us and finding the truth that sets us free and so in this book we’re going to be tackling all the things from sin and shame and the lies around eternity and the lies around your identity and the lies around your purpose and how to find the truth and live free because the reality is it says in Proverbs 14:12 that there is a way that appears to be right but in the end it leads to death there is a way that the world preaches that we should go that we should follow that we should conform to that we should look like and in the end it leads to death yet what God’s word says is Jesus says in John 14:6 I am the way the truth and the life so he is saying the truth you are looking for can only be found in me i am the truth and I’m not only the truth i am the truth that leads to life and life abundantly and then it says in John 8:32 when you know the truth it’s the truth that will set you free and so if you have ever felt bound by lies if you have ever questioned your worth your confidence your purpose if you have ever wondered how you can break free from feeling weighed down exhausted overwhelmed or even insecure about who you truly are and what your purpose is on this earth this book is for you i have often said « I just want to be free. » I have looked at my husband many of times and said « I just want to be free i’m tired of feeling weighed down i’m tired of feeling not enough i’m tired of being on this endless cycle of striving and performing and never feeling like I can reach what I need to reach and be who I need to be. » And when I go back to the truth when I go back to who God is and who God says I am that is when I experience true freedom and so this book is for you and I am so excited True Crew for you to go and get your copy of Dare to be True you can pre-order it now i will be including the link in this episode and so you can go and pre-order it it will be coming out this fall i’m so so excited and I can’t wait we’re going to be doing some really fun series all about some of the content in this book but you’re going to want to get your hands on it because there’s some really really fun uh special pieces in this book that you can’t get in this podcast so you guys can go and pre-order Dare to Be True now if you want to break free from what is breaking you for those of you who are listening who maybe fall into one of these two categories and maybe not maybe you don’t maybe you have a pure pure heart and you don’t struggle with any of these things and thank God because that’s awesome that’s not been my story but I I am thankful if that’s yours that’s a that’s the grace of God if it is something you have struggled with whether you fall into the category of you have been pushing boundaries you have been struggling with secret sin um you have been whether it be on your own time or whether it be with someone that you’re dating or talking to hooking up with um and you’re pushing boundaries but you haven’t had sex and you’ve been hanging it your hat on but I haven’t had sex so I’m okay right because I haven’t had sex like that’s what I was told is don’t have sex or you fall into the category of you have had sex and now you’re like well well darn I’ve already had sex so like what’s the point i’ve already I’ve already given that to somebody i’ve already done that so like what’s the big deal now like I isn’t hasn’t it already happened like haven’t I ruined this for myself and I want to speak to both people because I fell into this category grant fell into this category if you’re not watching the video I fell into you know the the camp of well at least I haven’t had sex i’ve done the other stuff i’ve done other things but I haven’t had sex so I’m fine right grant fell into the category of I’ve had sex and so you know what’s the big deal now and so whichever category you fall into if you fall into one of those two camps I want to speak to both of you one the Holy Spirit the word of God talks about it’s so much more about the heart than it is about the body and so many of us are focused on our bodily cleanliness that we’re missing the purity of the heart like God cares about the purity of our heart it’s not about hey come to me with a clean and perfect resume hey get your life together and come to me god says come as you are but when you come into my presence know that you will not leave the same you will not leave the same you will not continue to walk in that life of sin you will not continue to be enslaved and addicted to those things that have kept you bound you will be set free because that’s what my spirit does is my spirit sets free it says that in John 8 where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom and so if you are a child of God and you have experienced the spirit of God you will not stay enslaved to those things that doesn’t mean you will never fall into them again that means you won’t be enslaved by them and so I want to say first and foremost that purity is so much more about the heart than it is about you saying you have had sex or not have had sex or you know you’re you’re doing this and you’re not doing that it’s not about what you do or don’t do it’s a posture of your heart it’s who you are god’s word says be holy because I am holy we pursue holiness because he is holy it says in Ephesians 1:4 before the creation of the world I created you to be holy and blameless in my sight it’s who we are it’s who we were created to be and so it’s a part of our identity and as a believer it’s who we were called to be and so what I had to realize because I will raise my hand and say I’m the person who thought it was all about reputation i thought it was all about having a clean resume i thought it was all about bodily cleanliness that’s what I focused on right you know I mean if the outside of the car looks good then what who cares about the inside everyone else saw that I was saving myself for marriage everyone else saw that I said I was I was a virgin everyone else saw that I was this goody two shoes girl who went to Christian camp and went to church and said I loved God and knew a few verses and wore a cross necklace everyone else saw those things what they didn’t see was the secret sin that I was struggling with that I wasn’t telling anyone and it was keeping me from the presence of God it was keeping me from living a life of holiness it was keeping me from walking in my true God-given identity and from walking in my true God-given purpose because I was enslaved to sin and I wasn’t confessing it to God or to other people it was mastering my life it was keeping me bound i couldn’t experience the freedom that God had for me because I wasn’t confessing it i wasn’t living in the truth i wasn’t living in the light and so I want to speak to that because I think that there’s such a false um teaching out there and even the church does such a a a focus on bodily cleanliness the church focuses so much on fleeing from sex and it talks a lot about that and because of that it turns a lot of people away or it gives a lot of people um you know the permission maybe to then go and do other sexual acts as long as it’s not sex and I want to speak to that because it’s not about just sex it’s not about just sex it’s it’s anytime you orgasm it’s anytime you get worked up it’s anytime you lust the Bible is so clear about lust and it says « Flee from all sexual immorality every bit of it everything that gets your body going flee from it don’t tolerate it don’t flirt with it don’t think about it flee from it. » You look at the life of Joseph in scripture okay in in the book of Genesis you look at the life of Joseph and he’s having this moment where he’s tempted okay this beautiful woman who is the queen she’s got status she’s got power she’s got beauty and she finds Joseph in this moment and she wants to pull him away to sleep with him okay I imagine that is the ultimate temptation that Joseph is faced with and it literally says in that moment he ran he ran he ran so quick that literally she tore off a piece of his garment and I I think that’s such a picture for you and me of it’s not something to tolerate it’s not something to even try and fight with all your strength it’s not something to try and figure out it’s something that we are called to flee from and run from and cut off in our life it’s not something to be messed with and I just think that that’s we need to talk about that more like it’s it’s all sexual immorality it’s not let me dabble in this a little bit okay I can read steamy romance novels because I’m not at least watching porn okay I can watch these movies because at least I’m not watching porn or having sex with my boyfriend okay I can at least do these things with you know the person that I’m dating because I’m not having sex and I think that that is where I felt I was in that category and I struggled and I believed that lie and that lie led to a life of bondage that lie led to even consequences that I’ve had to deal with even in my own marriage and so yes you experience freedom and when you experience the the spirit of God like the spirit of God will set you free from those things and those things will no longer mark your life but you still deal with the consequences of sin and I want all of you to be spared from the consequences of sin all of you and I fell into that category grant fell into the other category that you know kind of felt like well I’ve already had sex and so what’s the big deal like it’s already a part of my story it’s already a part of my life and so that continued to be something he struggled with he continued to have sex with people and he shared that on this podcast so I feel that as his wife I can share that as part of his story and so that’s where he felt and I and I also want to speak to that because it talks about in scripture that if anyone is in Christ the old is gone the new is here you are a new creation in Christ Jesus so if you make a decision to follow Jesus to give him your everything that part of your story does not have to mark your life anymore who you used to be is not who you have to be you can choose from this day forward to choose a life of purity you can choose from this moment on to not let that be your story continued but it can be a part of your testimony where you testify to how God rescued you for how God redeemed you for how God purified you and so even if that’s a decision that you’ve made in your past I just want to speak to the person and I want to say you were not damaged goods you can choose from this day right now right here to save yourself for marriage you can choose right now to let that be a part of your story and I promise you your spouse and God will be so grateful so proud and I am so thankful i am so thankful that when Grant had a radical transformation with Jesus and when he started bringing accountability into his life and he choose to pursue a lifestyle of purity he wasn’t perfect did he have moments of falling short he did but he choose to pursue purity and because of that we were able to then at the altar when we gave ourselves to each other and to God body soul and spirit we had such a joy and such a peace because we knew that was something we had pursued individually and together and so I just I want to speak that to the person because you’re not too far gone to start this purity journey you’re not too far gone no matter which camp you fall into whether you’re the person who has been living in secret sin and no one knows about it whether you’re the person that’s been pushing boundaries with someone that you’re dating whether you’re the person who’s addicted to pornography whether you’re the person that’s had sex with multiple people and you feel like it’s too far gone and what’s the use wherever you’re at in this journey I just want to say God wants your heart god wants your heart and when you get the heart right when the heart becomes pure everything else falls into place everything else falls into place and that’s what I had to learn is that when I was beating myself up God was like « Maddie I’m not I’m not looking for you to be perfect i’m looking for your heart to be pure and I want to help purify it like you can’t do it without me you need my Holy Spirit but you also need my people. » And so to continue on with my story that was something that marked my life for a long time and you know what it was that helped me break free confession confession was what led to my freedom from sexual sin confession led to freedom from sexual sin for me confessing to God and confessing to other believers that set me free from the addiction to sexual sin and from the spirit of lust that was on my life as soon as I confessed to God honestly this is me being real with you guys nothing really happened okay i confessed to God and I said « God I don’t want this to mark my life god I am struggling with this and I hate that I’m struggling with this and I hate that I I I keep falling back into it and I tell you I’m not going to do it again and then I do it again and I I don’t know why i don’t know why I can’t break free from this i’m so sorry Lord and every single time I would feel the Lord’s embrace every single time I would feel the Lord come around me and remind me of Romans 8:1 and meet me where I’m at but the problem was because no one else was brought in on it it continued to stay this constant secret battle okay this this secret battle with me in sin and this secret uh situation where like I really wanted God to be proud of me and I really wanted God to be pleased with me and I I wanted to make God proud and I I I wanted to love God well and and I struggled with it all in secret all in secret and I wondered why I couldn’t break free and I wondered why I couldn’t let go of this sin that’s so easily entangled in my life and truly when I confessed to other believers that was when I started experiencing and tasting the freedom that it talks about in scripture and I believe that the two go hand in hand because you see it all throughout scripture in different people’s stories but just like David prayed in Psalm 51 Lord create in me a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me i had to have a heart posture of repentance repentance says, »Lord I want to turn to you and I want to turn away from that sin. » That’s what repentance means and I had that heart posture i wanted that and I I was truly sorrowful and grieving over my sin i hated the sin that I continued to fall into it wasn’t like I loved it and didn’t want to give it to God i genuinely started to hate it and be disgusted by it and I would repent and I would say « Lord I don’t want this help me please help me but it wasn’t until I brought other people in and I had them pray for me and I had them hear me out and I had them speak scripture over me and then I had them hold me accountable that then I was able to then genuinely walk in freedom and so it takes both the spirit of God and the people of God to experience the freedom of God it takes both you can’t have it without that you can’t do it on your own no matter how strong you think you are okay it’s fine and like I struggle with this spirit of lust but it’s okay i can lay on the couch with with my boyfriend it’s not that big of a deal oh okay i struggle with the spirit of lust it’s okay like I can be out past midnight at the bars like I I won’t give into that i won’t go home with this person okay like I I struggle with this but like I can still you know watch these shows on Netflix it’s not going to it’s not going to trigger anything for me but then we fall into the sin and we wonder why we keep falling into the sin and for me it took me becoming disgusted with my sin me repenting to God and inviting the Holy Spirit to help me holy Spirit I can’t do this without you i don’t have the strength i do not have the strength to break free from this sin i need your help Lord and then it took me humbling myself because honestly you guys it is so scary it is so scary to go up to a person and say « Hi I’m struggling with porn. » Okay that is not an easy thing to say and especially I think for women for whatever reason the enemy has really made us women feel like it’s not it’s not something we should struggle with and that it’s only and maybe that’s the church maybe the church has only focused on for so long it being a man’s problem that lust is only a man’s problem and I want to be the first to say that it is not only a man’s problem and I also want to say I go to all of these Christian conferences as as a speaker and and I I have people come forward of of all gender female and males come forward and confess like « Hey what is it that you’re struggling with write it down on a piece of paper let us pray over it. » And what I see so often is that legit 80% is females that are struggling and stuck in sexual sin and have not told anyone almost almost every single time the biggest struggle for so many female Christians is sexual sin and so I just again I want to say this is the lie of the enemy is that you can’t tell anyone the lie of the enemy is that it’s a man’s problem the lie of the enemy is that you’re all alone in it and I want to be the first to say you’re not alone it’s not just a man’s problem whether you’re a male or a female listening to this it’s both sin is sin and the enemy is crafty and he wants to destroy your life and so he will use whatever he has to to take your soul like he will use whatever he has to and he knows that there’s something there’s something set apart about sexual sin it just there is and scripture talks about it it says in 1 Corinthians 16 it talks about it how every other sin is outside of a person’s body but one who sins sexually does it to themselves it’s like you’re you’re sinning against your own body when you fall into sexual sin and so it does specify I’m not saying that sexual sin is way worse than all these other sins but the Bible is clear that there is something about sexual sin that is different it just it is it’s different and so it does something to us it creates soul tides it creates bondage that it seems like other sins don’t and so whether it is something you’re doing in private or whether it’s something you’re doing with another person either way you’re creating these as you’re you know experiencing an orgasm as you’re experiencing a release as you’re experiencing these things you’re attaching yourself to whatever it is whether it’s a computer screen whether it’s a book whether it’s yourself whether it’s a person you’re dating or interested in or a random person that you found at a bar whatever whoever whatever you’re creating these soul ties you’re creating these things that are going to be really really really hard to break free from and I and I and it’s not impossible because I I did but I just I want to speak to the seriousness of it too because scripture is clear that all other sins and I’ll I’ll even read uh the verse verbatim because I don’t want to I don’t want to butcher it it says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 « Flee from sexual immorality all other sins a person commits are outside of the body but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body whoever sins sexually sins against their own body again not whoever sins when they have sex with another person okay whoever sins sexually that covers all sexual acts you sin against your own body do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you whom you have received from God you are not your own so one of the biggest lies that the enemy has infiltrated in our minds today in 2025 is you this is your body do with it what you want this is your body if that’s what brings you pleasure if that’s what you want to do with your body go do it scripture is clear you are not your own you are not your own it’s not your body it’s God’s body you were bought at a price therefore honor God with your bodies it’s not your body this is not my body this is a body that has the the the presence of God in it this is a body that belongs to the Lord so for me when I finally confessed to friends and I brought them into what I was struggling with you know what was absolutely crazy because I was terrified to say it i was I was so scared to say it okay I have to talk about my favorite thing in our kitchen right now if you know me then you have definitely heard me talk about my Carowway cook set you guys it’s literally the best and you have to get their ceramic coated fry pan truly since we moved to Nashville I have loved having people over for dinner and I just throw everything in the pan chicken eggs vegetables you name it the food doesn’t stick it cooks evenly the cleanup so easy you’ll be obsessed with it i promise anything from Careowway is non-toxic super safe and totally free of all the hidden junk that is in a lot of cookware out there today and if you have been eyeing their internet famous 12piece cookware set now is the perfect time to buy you can shop Caraway risk-free enjoy fast free shipping easy returns and a 30-day trial plus if you visit carowwayhome.com/stay you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase this deal is exclusive for our listeners so visit carawayhome.com/staytrue or use code stay at checkout careway non-toxic cookwware made modern you know was crazy was as soon as I said the thing that I was so scared to say i immediately felt free immediately like immediately something shifted something happened when I spoke what was in the dark and I brought it into the light something shifted something happened now obviously that doesn’t mean I went from that moment and never struggled again absolutely not i continued to struggle but as I brought it into the light and I brought other people into it I then created an atmosphere where my sin was brought into the light people were aware of it and they then could hold me accountable and so I just remember like as soon as I confessed that and my friend looked at me and she was like « Maddie that is something I’ve struggled with for so long. » And I was like « You mean I’m not the only one you mean that this is actually something other girls struggle with too? » I couldn’t believe it and I immediately felt freer i immediately felt there’s hope like I can I can break free from this because for the longest time I really felt like it was something I was always going to have to struggle with i felt like for the longest time it was going to be shame that was going to mark my life forever and when I confessed and I brought this other female friend into it and I do want to say like who you confess to matters to who you confess to really really matters i didn’t go to my my boyfriend um I didn’t go to uh even a male pastor i found another female who believed in Jesus who loved Jesus and who loved me that I knew wouldn’t go and gossip about my sin but that would care about me enough to also not let me live in my sin and I knew I could confess to that friend and say « Hey I’m struggling with this sin and I want to tell you because I need you to help me. » And when I confessed and she empathized with me and said « I see you i’ I’ve done that too and that is something that’s been hard for me. » I immediately felt lighter and freer and then I said « Will you help me? » You see the thing about sin is is it shouldn’t turn into this like you know we’re we’re now bonding over this sin that we always struggle with like it shouldn’t be like « Okay I’m confessing this sin to you and now you’re confessing this sin to me. » And so like woohoo we’re not alone we struggle in it together that’s not the point the point is you confess the sin to each other you pray for each other so that you may be healed like it talks about in the book of James and then you hold each other accountable so that you don’t keep falling back into the bondage that enslaves you you hold each other accountable so that you can experience the freedom that Christ created for you and that was what was gamecher for me was putting community in my life that loved God that loved me that had the spirit of God and that could hold me accountable again it was not a one-time freedom thing i never fell for it again i did fall back into it i fell back into it when I radically loved Jesus i fell back into it when I was sold out for Jesus when I was telling other people about Jesus i fell back into it and it still created that same shame and that pit in my stomach of who are you to say you’re a child of God who are you to pretend like you know you you represent Jesus when you struggle with this sin when you’re not even totally free from it and so if that’s been your story I just want to say I’ve been there and I felt so dirty because of it but I just I continued to repent i continued to confess to other people and I continued to have people hold me accountable and thank God I am free like I am free and I still have to make the choice every day like it says in Galatians 5:1 it is for freedom that Christ has set you free but do not return back to the bondage of your past it’s still a choice for me every single day you guys even as a married woman to not return back to the past of my sexual sin addictions it’s still a choice every single day for me not to choose to lust after things that I see online or to give into maybe when I have a feeling that arises where I just want to escape or I just want to numb or I just want to feel something i still have to choose every single day no I am a child of God i will not be mastered by my cravings i am going to die to myself and die to to those cravings and desires that are of the flesh that are not of God i’m going to choose to crucify those and I’m going to choose to pursue God and it is a daily decision and so wherever you’re at on this journey you are not alone you can break free there is hope for you you’re not too far gone and God has a huge plan and a purpose for your life and part of that is walking in purity part of that is walking in purity and it actually talks about that in in the Bible and I want to read this to you because I had never heard this passage until recently as uh one of my pastors Pastor Jonathan Pudo was talking about this as he was speaking um at one of these college campuses that we go to with Unite and I was like man that’s such a powerful profound uh view of this because I had not heard it presented in this way and he was talking about how everyone wants to know the mysterious will of God everyone wants to know God what is your will for my life what have you called me to what do you want me to do who have you called me to marry god what do you have for me we want to know these question mark things we want God to reveal god give me clarity god show me the way god bring me this person god what is your will what is your will what is my purpose in life we want to know these mysterious things of God when we’re totally abandoning and neglecting the revealed will of God and it says it in 1 Thessalonians 4:3 it is God’s will what is God’s will for my life it is God’s will that you should be sanctified that you should avoid sexual immorality that you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable not in passionate lust like the pagans aka not in passionate lust like the rest of the world you believers should be set apart not impassionate lust like the pagans who do not know God for you know God therefore that should not be your story it goes on to say in verse 7 for God did not call us to be impure but to live a holy life therefore anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit and so just know this is not instruction from Maddie and Maddie saying « Hey go live a pure life go live a holy life i really think you should i really think you should do it i I’m trying to do it you should do it. » If you choose to reject what I’m telling you just know you’re not rejecting a human being you’re rejecting the God of this universe who created you who has a plan and a purpose for your life that you cannot fulfill that you cannot walk into the fullest if you stay bound and enslaved to the things of this world and to the things of your flesh it says in Romans 8 you cannot live in the realm of the flesh and please God you cannot you cannot continue to pursue the things that your flesh desires and live a holy life that honors and pleases God and so I really want to get practical um I’ve talked a lot about how you know confession was so huge for me i I’ve talked a lot about how repentance is so important i’ve talked a lot about um how God cares so much more about the purity of our hearts and I want to get really really practical for us as we kind of start wrapping up this this episode because I know that some of you are like « But Maddie you just you don’t get it i’ve tried i’ve tried I’ve tried i’ve tried everything and this is like still a part of my story no Maddie you don’t get it like I lead in this way i could never tell people that this is something I struggle with no Maddie you don’t get it like this is something that all of my friends would would shame me like they would see me so differently if I if I confessed this. » And if that’s true then I would say those aren’t real friends those aren’t good friends because any any Christian who is sold out and in love with Jesus knows that no one is above sin no one all of us all of us it says in God’s word we all have fallen short every single one of us we’ve all fallen short and it is only by God’s grace that we are redeemed that we are saved and that we can continue to stay set free it is only by his grace and only by his spirit and the power of his spirit and so if you have godly community in your life and you choose to go to them and confess to them and maybe don’t just like drop the bomb on them okay maybe maybe be like « Hey I really want to talk to you about something you know there’s something that I’ve been really struggling with and I really need your prayer and I need I need your wisdom and and and I just I want to be really honest like this is this has been holding me back this has been keeping me you know from from having a life of freedom and from having a life that that God intends for me and I really need to share it with you um and and ask them like hey can we can we keep this between us i really don’t want this to you know become a hot topic in the friend group i don’t want this to like leave this conversation i I really am entrusting this to you but I know that the enemy is using this sin in my life right now to keep me separated from God and I know that the enemy is having a heyday with my life right now as long as I keep it in secret and so I need to confess this to you and I and I think if you start with a conversation like that they understand the weightiness of it they’re also not caught off guard with you know if you just come up and you’re like « Hey I’m struggling with porn what do you think about it? » So it’s like « Hey let’s set the scene. » Um I wouldn’t just tell everyone i would pick a friend that you really trust you trust them um because of their love for you but you also trust their relationship with Jesus you trust the the spirit inside of them and maybe it’s a friend maybe it’s a mentor um I personally would make sure it’s not someone you’re dating i would make sure it’s not someone of the opposite sex and I would also even say it’s not someone that’s a family member like I would say it’s not a parent it’s not and I’m not saying you can’t go on to tell then your parents or tell your siblings but I do think that there’s something powerful about finding a friend um who can really really hold you accountable in this um and where you’re not going to feel any sort of like judgment or like you’re going to withhold certain pieces of information but that you feel like you can tell the whole thing you can tell every bit of it and they can hold you accountable and so yeah just getting practical i would say if sexual sin has been a struggle for you the first thing that you need to do is you need to repent and confess to God the very first thing that you need to do is hit your knees and you need to weep before the Lord and say « Father forgive me i am sorry that I have hurt you i am sorry that I have been stuck in this sin that I haven’t known how to get free from i repent i say I’m a sinner i declare you as my savior and I am asking you to save me from this sin will you please help me i can’t do this apart from your spirit so I am asking you Holy Spirit to help me break free from this sin and so have a moment of repentance but also have a moment of confession where you are genuinely so broken over your sin you’re so disgusted by your sin you know it’s it talks about in scripture it talks about in the Proverbs how the fear of the Lord is what keeps us from sin the fear of the Lord keeps us from sin and so when we have a fear of God when we understand the sovereignty of God when we understand the power of God it should bring us to our knees and we should be so broken over our sinfulness and say « You are God you are good and I am broken over how much I am not good and over how bad I really am and how how much I am desperate for your good spirit to come and dwell in me and to lead me along your paths of righteousness because I I can’t walk in the way of righteousness on my own i I need your help and it it takes that moment of of being broken over your sin if you’re not genuinely broken over your sin you’re never going to be free from your sin that sin is going to continue to entangle itself in your life again and again and again you’re going to find yourself in the same cycle of sin again and again and again until you come to a point where you’re so disgusted by sin you see sin as evil you see sin as ultimately separating you from the most important person in the whole entire world which is Jesus and you’re so broken over it that you’re brought to tears you look at the life of David who is described as a man after God’s own heart who did not live a perfect life and who was not always pure who lived a life where he he he not lived a life but he had a moment where he gave into sexual sin he slept with someone that was not his wife and because of that there was multiple consequences but you see him have this heart posture of confession and repentance where he is so broken over his sin he comes to God he comes to God so broken over his sin and he he asks him Lord create in me create in me a pure heart and and he he’s so he’s so desperate for the Lord to wash him clean he knows that nothing he does can make him clean and I want to speak that over someone nothing you do can make you clean baptism doesn’t make you clean having a relationship with someone who’s better than the person you were just in a relationship with doesn’t make you clean you know doing all the right things going to church whatever that does not make you clean only the blood of Jesus can wash you clean only the spirit of God can keep you clean and so the only way you and I can break free the only way you and I can become clean is by the blood of Jesus and and David recognized that and he says, »Lord create in me a pure heart. » Like « Purify me cleanse me of all unrighteousness cleanse me of all ungodliness cleanse me of all the things that are not of you and purify my heart. » And you see God does that like God begins to purify him but it started with that and so I would say it starts with repentance and confession to God like take it to God and confess and repent and be broken over your sin the second thing is confess to a godly friend confess to a godly friend and like I said confess to someone who is of the same gender who you trust and you trust the relationship with Jesus and how do you confess you confess fast so right now literally as soon as you get off this podcast don’t put it off don’t say « I’ll wait till tomorrow. » Don’t say « I’ll wait till next week. » Don’t say « I’ll wait till. » Do it immediately confess fast confessed fully tell all of it don’t hold any of it back don’t say « I’m gonna I’m gonna say the the 80% that kind of keeps me in this category of still being like a good Christian girl or a good Christian guy. » Confess all of it do not hold any of it back what you keep in the dark the devil will continue to keep as a stronghold in your life and you will continue to struggle with that thing if you do not confess it fully if you do not confess all of it and the small sins don’t stay small they will get bigger they will get bigger they will lead to bigger things and bigger problems and bigger consequences so confess even the smallest of things even if your sin struggle is hey I I I lusted after you know this person that I saw at the gym you know I had this ungodly thought when I watched this movie or I had this ungodly feeling um or I’m idolizing marriage and I really really really really want to be married or I’m I’m lusting after this thing or whatever it is confessing at the thought level is so important don’t wait till it’s like this big sin small sins don’t stay small so confess it as soon as you feel it and confess it fully it talks about when we confess there is so when we confess he is he is faithful and just to purify us from all unrighteousness so just know like there is so much power in confession and I just I really want to harp on those two things because you c again I said this earlier but you can’t do it without the spirit of God and you can’t do it without the people of God and so you need both in order to experience the freedom of God that he has for you and then I would even say just to get super super practical what are your triggers like what are your temptation triggers cut off whatever triggers the temptation for you it talks about in scripture in Matthew 5 I don’t know if it’s Matthew 5 maybe Matthew it’s somewhere in Matthew the book of Matthew it talks about the importance of cutting off temptation triggers and Jesus is saying he’s saying « Hey if your hand causes you to sin cut it off if your eyes cause you to sin gouge it out. » Now that’s obviously real intense i’m not telling you to literally go cut off your arm and to literally go gouge out your eye and I don’t think that’s what Jesus was trying to say either i think what Jesus was trying to say is sin is intense with you so you have to be intense with sin you can’t let sin just continue to linger in your life you can’t just tolerate sin you can’t just see what’s going to h You have to cut it out you have to cut it off and so because of that cutting off temptation triggers what is that for you is that you’re dating someone and every time you’re on the couch you find yourself falling into sexual sin every time you’re hanging out past 10 p.m with someone that you like you’re falling into sexual sin maybe it’s every time you’re alone past a certain time you’re falling into sexual sin maybe it’s your computer maybe it’s your Xbox maybe it’s Instagram i don’t Netflix what steamy romance novels whatever the hand is or the eye is for you identify it and then cut it off okay identify it and then bring in accountability and then take the steps that you need to take in order to cut it off you have to be intense with sin sin is not going to just go away on its own you’re not going to graduate i promise you’re not going to graduate from sin it’s going to continue in your life to be a temptation and so you have to be intense with it you have to set up boundaries you have to set up guardrails you have to bring people in in order for it to no longer have a grip on your life anymore and so for me identifying okay computer phone certain times past like the night is when I would get tempted and so what I would even go as far to say and some people might think I’m crazy for saying this delete your social media if you need to delete your social media throw out your Xbox if you need to throw out your Xbox get rid of any books that you need to get rid of unsubscribe from Netflix if you need to unsubscribe and I would even go as far to say is don’t have time alone like if you’re single and you struggle with this like or if you’re dating and you struggle with this alone time can be really dangerous especially past a certain time and so if that’s your struggle then I would encourage you to constantly be around people and literally only go into your room when it’s time for you to sleep and as soon as you wake up turn on all your lights and go out into the living room in the living space if you live alone invite people over like just know what it is that is your trigger and when you continue to fall into temptation for me it was alone time and it was when I was in my bedroom like those were the big temptation triggers and the sad thing was was I didn’t even always have to watch something because I’d already watched enough to have it replaying in my mind and so if that’s you and you’re like « Hey I’m not struggling with porn. » Maybe you’ve already seen enough or you’ve read enough to then it can now become a fantasy that you can replay in your mind to get to where you need to get in order to masturbate or to feel the things you want to feel and so if that is also your struggle I just want to say that that is also a sin and that that is also just as bad and fantasizing about it and lusting after it and thinking about it and then letting it lead to masturbation all of it is sin and you know people say like masturbation is not talked about in scripture like where is it talked about in in the Bible about masturbation again it says flee from all sexual immorality it is still a sexual thing it’s still a sexual act even if it’s just with yourself you’re still orgasming you’re still you know bringing yourself to this like feeling that you’re only supposed to be experiencing with your spouse you’re only supposed to be experiencing with your significant other and why why why because God created sex to be and all sexual acts all orgasms experience to be done in the confinement of marriage to be unifying you know that sex is actually worship like how crazy is it to think about it like that sex is actually worship because God created it and there is nothing more unifying in the physical realm than when we have an orgasm and when we experiencing these sexual acts with someone else or even with our like if you’re doing it with yourself there it’s we’re not supposed to be experiencing that outside of the confinement of marriage and so it’s so so important for us to understand that and so even if it’s not porn for you like what is it for you and I also want to say too like I don’t want to miss this part because I touched on this earlier that and I could we literally could talk about this you guys and I’ll just have to do another episode um later on more about this because there’s so many things we could cover and and I want to know more of what you guys specifically maybe want me to talk about in this topic and I would love to know any questions that you have or struggles that you’re feeling um particular to you but I do want to say I mentioned this earlier that purity is so much more about the heart god cares about the heart and so many of us are stuck in sin so many of us are stuck in sexual sin because we’re dealing with the fruit and not the root so many of us are trying to pick off the fruit gosh I just need to stop sinning i need to stop sinning i need to stop sinning and we’re not getting to the root issue which is a heart problem it’s a heart problem we’re allowing things to entangle our hearts we’re allowing things to corrupt our hearts and we’re not dealing with that and when we’re only dealing with the surface level things and we’re not getting to the actual deeprooted issue we’re never going to experience real freedom and so we have to get to the core problem we have to get to the core issue and say « Okay I I am addicted to something that is outside of God’s will i am addicted to something that is impure and not holy i am addicted to something that is not of God and from God therefore I need to cut it off i need to confess it i need to repent from it i need to turn from it. » And that is so so important because you know at the end of the day like if you’re just focused on you know the the cleanliness of your body and what other people see and you have a corrupt heart like Jesus rebuked that in the Pharisees jesus talked about that so much in Matthew 23 and I want to read a little bit of that we’re coming to a close i again I could talk about this you guys for literally hours and I actually like I I wrote about this in my book that is coming out soon and I’m so excited for it to come out because my book covers so much about the entanglements of sin the entanglements of of the weights that we carry and the shame that it brings the seriousness of sin the consequences of sin and how to break free from it all because I know so many of us are just like I just want to be free but I don’t know how to get free I feel so bound i feel like I just want a breath of fresh air but I don’t know how I don’t know how to get that i don’t know how to do that i just I don’t know how to get free and my book talks about it so much and I have a whole chapter just dedicated to this topic i have a whole chapter just dedicated to the idea of a life of purity and holiness and why that’s God’s command for our life why God commands us to be holy and pure because the world says that that means he’s withholding something from us like why would God call you to give all that up like isn’t that good like isn’t it good for you to experience this this like level of high and this level of pleasure why would God want to keep you from pleasure he’s not keeping you from pleasure he is protecting you he is protecting you from the things that want to rob you of the life that he died to give you he is protecting you from the things that will keep you bound and enslaved that will keep you from his very best i promise you that any time I gave into sexual sin it never ever ever gave me what I was looking for but every single time I resisted sexual sin and I pursued God with all of my heart it always delivered everything my heart desired every single time every time and it didn’t always look pretty sometimes it was like « Okay I’m struggling with a sexual sin and I really really want to give in i really want to give into this temptation but instead I’m gonna get on my knees and I’m gonna say « God I I really want this sin right now but I I I actually want you more and so will you help me will you help me will you help me will you help me? » And then I would like run into my roommate’s room and be like « I’m having this thought. » Or I would literally go on a run outside because I just needed to like get my mind off of it or I would call a friend or I would turn on a worship song and I would just do whatever it took to get my mind off of it and to say « I want this sin but Jesus I want you more i want you more and it we have to get to the point where we want Jesus more than we want our sin but it’s all about a heart of purity and you can’t just focus on what you’re doing or what you’re not doing you have to focus on what’s in your heart and that’s what God cares about and you know Jesus is having this moment in Matthew 23 where he’s rebuking the the Pharisees who on the outside were these people who had everything together right like they were the teachers of the word of God like they were the ones that people quite literally worshiped because they had um they had access to the very words of God that other people didn’t have access to and so they would read the word of God they would teach the word of God and in that time they didn’t have Bibles they didn’t have like not just the common person had access to the scriptures and so the Pharisees were very high level they were important people and Jesus is literally rebuking them because their hearts weren’t pure and he says in Matthew 23:2 to the Pharisees « You clean the outside of the cup and dish but the inside you are full of greed and self-indulgence you blind Pharisee first clean the inside of the cup and dish and then the outside will also be clean. » And so as I’ve talked about you know repent and confess and flee and cut off the temptation triggers I want to end with this a lot of us are stuck in sin because we’re focused so much on defense and not enough on offense it is so important 100% to flee from sexual sin but it is just if not more important to pursue righteousness to pursue purity to pursue holiness it’s not enough to just say « Okay okay don’t sin Matty matty don’t sin today don’t sin don’t sin. » More than anything my heart posture my mindset is Jesus I love you i want you i want all of you i want less of me and I want more of you body soul and spirit I’m yours purify my heart remove any offensive way in me Lord i want you i want the things of God i want the will of God in my life i want to honor God with my life and with my body and I have that mindset and when I have that mindset and I pursue purity with all of my heart it becomes so much easier to then flee from sexual sin it becomes so much easier to then flee from the things that are not of God or from God and so I I want to end with that is there is an offensive approach in this as well not just defense we don’t have to just be on our heels we can also be on our toes and say « Hey I am going to run after the things of God i’m going to chase after Jesus with all of my heart and know that it is a both and. » It talks about in the scriptures that we should flee from sexual sins and and youthful lusts but also it says « But pursue love and faith and righteousness with the people of God. » It talks about that in the scripture and so I want to end with it’s so important that we pursue purity the true root of our purity and the way we’re able to stay pure is the presence of God we have to be in the presence of God we have to be in the word of God it talks about in Psalm 119 how can a young person stay pure by living according to your word by live by living according to the word we have to be in the word of God we have to be in the presence of God to be able to pursue purity that pleases God we have to we have to we can’t do it without him and we can’t do it without people and we can’t do it without his presence and we can’t do it without his word and it is possible i just want to end with that it is possible purity is possible holiness is possible if I was able to break free you can break free it can be your story even if it hasn’t been up until this point it can be your story and I want to end with prayer as I just pray for you guys and I want to know like I really do I want to know what it is that you particularly have been struggling with when it comes to purity and maybe truly maybe it’s not some something sexual like maybe it it is just a lust after something or someone or idolizing something or someone and your heart is impure not for sexual sin reasons but just impure in different ways um maybe it’s impure because of pride maybe it’s impure because of self-righteousness maybe it’s impure because of other reasons or maybe sexual sin has been a huge struggle for you for so long and you haven’t known how to get free and I pray that this episode has helped you so much but more than anything I pray that God meets you right now right now in this moment and and I and I want you to close your eyes with me because there’s this moment in John chapter 8 where Jesus meets this woman who’s caught in the act of adultery she’s caught in the act of sexual sin and he doesn’t come up to her and condemn her he doesn’t come up to her and say « How could you how dare you? » Instead he meets her where she’s at but then he goes on to say « Okay now go and live a life of of no more sin go and sin no more. » So he calls her out of her sin not to humiliate her but to help her and so I want you to know right now God is meeting you where you’re at and he’s calling you to confess not to humiliate you but to help you and so you can live a life of freedom that he died for you to experience and for you to have and so Lord I pray for every single person under the sound of my voice that has felt enslaved by the things of this world that has felt mastered by the the things of their flesh and the desires of their flesh that has continued to be um living this life of secret sin and they don’t know how to break free and they feel so bound by their own brokenness i pray right now in the mighty name of Jesus that your love would just come around them and fill them that you would comfort them that you would show them that you are not looking at them with this long judge you know stick ready to hit them every time they mess up that you are coming to them with open arms that you are embracing them with grace and with love but because you care about them so much you say to them you look at them with loving eyes I have so much more for you daughter i have so much more for you daughter i have so much more for you son i want a life of freedom for you and so Lord I pray that by the power of your Holy Spirit that you would set them free from the sin that so easily entangles that you would set them free from the weights that weigh them down and that that by your spirit they would be cleansed that by your blood they would be cleansed and they would be set free but I also pray I pray for people of God to come around them for they for them to invite in the people of God to confess to and that and and that would hold them accountable and that would help them live this life of freedom because it’s one thing Lord to get set free but it’s a whole another thing to stay free and so Lord I pray that you would give them people around them that would help them walk out this freedom every single day and Lord I pray that this would no longer mark their lives that they would not experience shame they would not feel shame right now after everything we’ve talked about they would not feel a weight of shame for shame is not from you conviction is from you and there is a huge difference i pray that they would experience conviction but that they would not experience shame and any shame right now would be shattered in your name and that conviction would take over and that you would lead them by a spirit of conviction closer to you and closer to the life that you have for them thank you Lord that your way is better that your way is so much better that a life of purity actually leads to a life of purpose that a life of purity actually leads to a life of peace that a life of purity actually leads to a life of freedom and joy and so I pray over my friends right now that they would be uh drawn to and excited to live this life of purity because it’s it’s the best and it’s your will and because it’s your will it’s the best and so Lord I thank you for my friends and I thank you that the purity is a possible pursuit because it’s by your spirit and through your spirit and not our own strength lord we love you and we thank you we thank you for what you’ve done for us and we thank you for um what you continue to do in us and through us and I thank you for my friends i pray that they feel seen loved and known right now in this moment in Jesus name amen guys this was much longer than I expected and like I said I still couldn’t cover everything and I wish I could but I wish that I could also be sitting across from all of you and just hug you and love you and let you know that you’re not alone um but I do want to talk about this more and I also want to say I talk about so much more practicals in my book that I can’t talk about it all in an hour hour and a half episode but in my book I really talk about how you can break free from sin how you really can break free from the addiction of impurity and all the things and so if that’s been your struggle if that’s been a part of your story um Dare to Be True you can pre-order it now and I’ll include the link so that you guys can go and check it out this is not a pitch to go and buy my book this is literally my story i wrote this book from a place of saying I just want to be free i just want to experience more of Jesus i just want to live a life of freedom and I I want to stay true to it and I want to I want to stay free and so if that is you um I do believe that this book will really really help you so love you guys let me know how this episode encouraged you what you want to hear more of for when we talk about more of it later and as always be sure to stay you and stay true i love you [Music] .
Déroulement de la vidéo:
0.24 we are going to be talking about porn and masturbation du this has been a
6.16 struggle for me this has been a huge part of my testimony something I’ve struggled with since middle school if
12.08 sexual sin has been a struggle for you the first thing that you need to do is you need to repent and confess to God
18.56 you mean I’m not the only one you mean that this is actually something other girls struggle with too i couldn’t
23.6 believe it it’s not about just sex it’s anytime you orgasm it’s anytime you get worked up it’s anytime you lust any time
30.16 I gave into sexual sin it never ever ever gave me what I was looking for but every single time I resisted sexual sin
37.2 and I pursued God with all of my heart it always delivered everything my heart desired sin is sin and the enemy is
43.2 crafty and he wants to destroy your life and so he will use whatever he has to to take your soul so many of us are stuck
49.92 in sexual sin because we’re dealing with the fruit and not the root he’s not keeping you from pleasure he is
55.6 protecting you from the things that want to rob you of the life that he died to give you
64.51 [Music] what’s up guys welcome back to another
69.76 episode of Stay True Podcast i’m your host Madison Puit Trout and we are back
75.36 for a solo episode it’s been a minute so it was about time and I’m so excited
82.799 honestly for a solo episode in what we’re talking about today i’m actually a little nervous because this is a topic
89.28 that can be hard to talk about even for me it’s it’s a topic that is I think
95.6 shied away from for a lot of people even in the church and really just all over
101.04 and so I’m excited i’m nervous all the things and I believe that this is also a
107.28 topic that whether you are single dating married like no matter what phase of life you’re
114.0 in or if you are a woman or a man it does not matter who you are where you are where you come from like this is a
121.36 topic that is applicable to you and it’s a topic that has been a heavy topic for
126.64 me throughout my life and so I’m excited to kind of just get to share some more of my story even um in today’s podcast
134.16 but you know let’s start with some updates because let’s just let’s flow into this um first of all I love being a
141.44 mom you guys okay i love it so much i literally was talking about I used to laugh kind of at the people that when
147.52 they talked about their kids they like cried and got emotional i am now that person and I am fully the person that is
153.12 showing everyone they see pictures of their daughter that’s where I’ve I’ve hit that my Instagram page is now a
158.959 Hosanna fan page i’ve realized this is just where we’re at and I love it for me
165.519 because she’s truly like the greatest gift and honestly I got so convicted this week i was sitting with the Lord
172.72 and or no I I wasn’t sitting with the Lord i was sitting with Hosanna and I was staring at Hosanna and I just was having the best time and I was like
178.72 looking at her and got lost just in time with her i like hours passed by and
186.64 I looked at the clock and I was like « Wow how’s it already been two hours? » And then I looked at Hosanna and I was like « Mommy could just stare at you all
193.04 day long i could literally just spend all day with you and not move from this spot. » And it just convicted me because
199.519 I was like « How often do I view my
204.8 relationship with the Lord like that? » And the sad reality is not often enough
210.799 like it’s very rare that I can sit in the presence of the Lord for hours lose
216.959 track of time get lost with him and gaze upon his beauty and not think about all
222.56 the things that I need to do not think about what I got going on and what I need to get and how I need to and just
228.08 like sit with him and genuinely be so moved by his beauty and by his presence
234.799 and just lose track of time like when was the last time that was your reality
240.4 because it was convicting for me i’m like I need to make that a reality in my life to where I can spend time with
247.2 Jesus and I am not thinking about anything else other than him like I get
253.519 lost in his presence i marvel at his presence i’m moved by his presence and
259.759 it is just I had to share that with you guys because that’s just something that has been convicting for me this week and
266.639 I just love being a mom it really is the greatest gift we’re starting to get a little bit more sleep and so we’re thankful for that you know everyday’s
273.52 hit or miss i never know what I’m going to get some nights sister sleeps through the night other nights sister wakes up
279.919 three or four times so we’re figuring it out but I am thankful I’m starting to get a little bit more sleep i’m like « Oh
286.56 I actually can remember things now. » Everyone laughed about mom brain it is a real thing for those of you who don’t
292.0 have kids I didn’t know what that was and now I have a child and I’m like I know exactly what that is remembering
297.36 things is so hard and so if I just have a little I don’t really like the word fart but if I have a brain fart in the
303.68 middle of this episode that is um that’s mom brain and you can thank that um but
310.88 anyways today guys we are going to be talking about porn and masturbation
318.96 it sounds so intense it’s honestly even like it’s like oh the P word oh oh no
324.16 guys this is something that is needed to be talked about and even if I want to go ahead and say this at the beginning
329.84 because some of you listening might be like « Oh I don’t watch porn. » Um so maybe this doesn’t apply to me some of
335.52 you guys struggle not with porn but you struggle with fantasies you struggle with movies you struggle with music you
342.08 struggle with steamy romance novels you struggle with you know samesex attraction you struggle with you know
348.16 going too far with your your person you’re dating your boyfriend or if you’re a guy listening to this your girlfriend you know so wherever you fall
355.759 into that category the main thing we’re going to be covering is sexual sin focused on porn and masturbation
363.039 and we’re going to tie in why purity matters to God why holiness matters to
368.08 God why that’s a call for the children of God because I think so often we’re like why it’s not that big of a deal
374.0 like it’s really not that big of a deal or I’m doing this but at least I’m not doing this like we weigh some sins as
379.52 heavier than others when God cares so much more about our heart than what
384.639 we’re doing on the outside or what our outside you know sins might be he cares about the posture of our heart and so if
390.639 our heart is corrupt it’s going to lead to a life of corruption it’s going to lead to us making decisions that are not
396.4 honoring to him and so we’re going to get to the root of it um in this podcast
402.0 and I just want to first start by saying this is not wherever you’re at in your
407.36 journey with Jesus and wherever you’re at pertaining to this topic I want you
412.72 to know that everyone is welcome and there is no room for shame here there is
417.84 no room for shame here it says in Romans 8:1 « Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ
424.479 Jesus. » If you are a believer condemnation does not mark your life it cannot mark your life and if you are a
432.56 believer neither can sin we are not called to be slaves to sin we are no longer mastered by our flesh if we are
439.36 children of God we are led by the spirit of God and so this is to highlight the
445.039 seriousness of sin this is to bring a weight to the way that we live our life
450.4 and to how we view our bodies how we view the opposite sex how we view our alone time how we view purity and
456.96 holiness and all of it is what we’re going to cover in this conversation and I also want to start by saying I will be
464.0 the first person to raise my hand and say this has been a struggle for me this
469.68 has been a huge part of my testimony something I’ve struggled with since middle school since middle school and
476.479 thankfully by the grace of God and by the power of godly community and people
481.52 around me I have been free from porn and masturbation for I don’t even know 10 years but that was something that
488.72 enslaved me and marked me for so long that was something I felt like I could
494.24 not break free from no matter how much I loved Jesus I could not shake that sin i
499.84 could not break free from porn and masturbation that was something that was so hard for me for so long and I would
505.919 beat myself up and I would be bound by shame because I knew I loved Jesus and I
511.199 wanted to live a life for Jesus but I didn’t know how to get unstuck i didn’t know how to break free from that sin and
517.76 so I want to share a little bit of my story with you guys and then I really want to end with some practicals of how
523.44 I was able to break free from sin and how I believe God wants you to break free from sin and how you can break free
529.519 from this addiction that seeks to literally destroy your life because that’s what Satan does he comes to steal
535.68 kill and destroy john 10:10 and Jesus says « But I have come to give you life and life to the fullest. » And so
542.399 everything that is of this world everything that is not of God or from God will destroy your life it’ll destroy
549.12 your peace it’ll destroy your purpose it’ll destroy your relationships and that is exactly what I saw every time I
555.2 gave into sexual sin every time I gave into sexual sin I was robbed of confidence i questioned my worth and my
561.68 identity every time I gave into sexual sin I didn’t know my purpose i felt confused i didn’t have clarity i wasn’t
568.08 led by conviction every time I fell into sexual sin and gave into sexual sin my
573.44 relationship not only with God but with other believers felt divided felt tense
579.279 i didn’t know how to engage in those conversations because I was so bound by
584.32 shame and so if that’s where you’re at I just want to say I’ve been there and
591.279 even though that’s something that I have been set free from I still have to daily
596.32 choose a life of purity it’s still a daily choice and so whether you’re single or dating or married even if
603.279 you’re married it’s still a daily decision and this topic still applies to you because it applies to me and so I
611.279 kind of mentioned this but uh you know middle school is kind of when this whole thing started happening for me you know
617.2 your body’s changing you’re curious you’re like « What’s going on? » You know I’m super attracted to guys i’m now all
624.32 of a sudden boy crazy i want to know how the body works i want to know how the things you know and you’re just you’re
629.519 curious and you also are at a very vulnerable age where so much is being
635.76 developed and where so much is starting to happen around you you know more conversations about um guys and girls
642.56 hooking up are happening and you know you’re starting to listen to some more music that maybe has like some different
648.959 things in it that maybe not be how your parents raised you and what they told you was good and what was right and so
655.279 that was my story i started listening to you know music that was talking about girls and guys getting together and all
661.04 the things and wow I sounded like such a mom right there girls and guys getting together i’m like okay let’s say it for what it is girls and guys having sex and
667.2 hooking up and all the things and it started with music and it started with
673.2 shows for me and so I remember and friendships so I remember being at this
678.48 friend’s house and you know I had already kind of had moments of you know being curious about things and having
685.6 certain feelings or wondering certain things or fantasizing about certain things i had not told that to anyone i
691.92 had not pursued to do anything about that but I was curious and I was about
696.959 13 years old i went over to a friend’s house and her parents weren’t around and she turned on this show that was
704.399 extremely inappropriate i don’t even know how this show was accessible on a
710.079 TV like I I really don’t I don’t know how this was like a show and I don’t even remember what the show was called
715.68 but all I remember was literally everyone was naked and it was like the Bachelor but like way worse and everyone
724.16 was naked and everyone was trying to like fight for this like one person’s attention and and it was all about like
729.92 sex and sexual relationships and you know who she was going to choose based off of who she was attracted to and it
736.0 was a whole crazy thing but I just remember I had never watched anything like that before and my body started
742.16 feeling things that I had never felt before and I started you know wondering things that I’d never wondered before
747.2 and then desiring it and then wanting it and and so I left that time with my
752.72 friend like genuinely so curious about that and wanting it more like I’m like
758.88 « Okay now I desire this thing and I want I want to see it and I want to I want to experience it and I need to know more. »
764.56 And not even that I’m having these thoughts rationally but I’m I’m feeling it you know and so I remember leaving
771.92 there and I don’t know when it was a week two weeks later that’s when I kind of started searching some things on the
778.32 internet and I started looking some things up and I was curious and then it led to some YouTube videos and then it
784.32 led to then masturbating and you know taking it even further and here’s what’s
790.079 crazy you guys about sin and about especially sexual sin is the enemy will
796.48 dangle it in front of you saying that it’s going to bring you pleasure that it’s going to bring you freedom that
801.92 it’s going to bring you satisfaction but every single time you fall for it all
807.279 that it leads to is bondage and shame every single time I would have this rush
813.839 of desire to you know see something or do something that I knew wasn’t of God or from God that I knew was impure that
820.8 I knew was unholy and every time I did it it didn’t give what it promised which
826.0 was satisfaction and pleasure maybe it did for a moment but then as soon as the moment ended I felt so much shame and I
833.92 was living in secret shame i didn’t know how to tell anybody about it so that happened to me in middle school and I
840.16 was again 13 14 years old well I didn’t know how to talk to anybody about it i had you know God-fearing Jesus loving
846.079 parents who raised me to to be holy who raised me to love Jesus who raised me to
851.68 go and make disciples and I didn’t know how to talk about something that I felt
857.199 like was only a dude’s problem i was like « Oh only guys struggle with this
862.24 thing. » And so I can’t tell anybody this this is so embarrassing this is so not something a girl should struggle with
869.04 and so then it created even more shame and it also created even more sin because I was living in secret and
875.04 anytime you live in secret it’s only going to create more sin and it’s only going to create more shame because that’s where the enemy thrives the enemy
881.92 thrives in secrecy the enemy thrives in isolation anytime you are doing life alone and you are struggling with
888.48 something that you’re not confessing to anybody else that you’re not having other people hold you accountable in it
894.16 is going to continue to be a cycle of sin in your life and it is going to almost be impossible to break free from
900.24 it i don’t want to say totally impossible god can do anything but for me personally I was not able to break
906.399 free until I brought other people into it until I stopped letting the enemy run
912.88 my life with living in secrecy and living in isolation and this continued
918.399 for a long time and then this bled into relationships this bled into then when I
923.68 would start dating someone I pushed so many boundaries physically and I knew
929.44 cuz I had you know I was raised my parents told me like the importance of keeping your body for God and for your
936.399 spouse and the importance of pursuing purity like that had been modeled and that had been you know briefly talked
943.199 about i was raised in Assemblies of God church and sex was a big no no do not have sex do not have sex do not have sex
950.639 but the question marks was around everything else so what about all the
956.639 other stuff what about going to second base what about going to third base wait no third base is third base sex or is
963.279 third or is home run sex i don’t really know okay but what about all the other stuff what about you know porn and what
968.639 about you know just crossing a little bit of lines with your your boyfriend or what about just you know dressing this
974.0 way or looking at this or sending these pictures what about that stuff like that’s where I didn’t have clarity those
979.68 were the gray areas of this whole purity thing that I was not clear on that I was
985.6 not certain about and so because of that I found myself continuing to push
990.88 boundaries and continuing to go further than I knew deep down in my heart that I wanted to go or that I knew I should go
997.759 because I didn’t have clarity and I would excuse it with well I’m not having sex like I’m not having sex so like I
1004.48 can still do all these other things because I’m not having sex and I just want to say okay guys I’m taking a short
1011.12 break from this podcast to tell you about some exciting news my new book
1017.839 Dare to Be True Stay True Dare to Be True it just makes sense when God laid
1024.72 this podcast on my heart I actually had already started working on my next book Dare to Be True and the whole point of
1032.559 this podcast and the whole point of this book is we were all designed and made
1037.76 for truth and everyone in this world is searching for it yet so many of us are
1043.199 searching for the right things in all of the wrong places and this book is all about tackling the lies that often
1050.0 entangle us and bind us and finding the truth that sets us free and so in this book we’re going to be tackling all the
1056.88 things from sin and shame and the lies around eternity and the lies around your
1062.08 identity and the lies around your purpose and how to find the truth and live free because the reality is it says
1068.72 in Proverbs 14:12 that there is a way that appears to be right but in the end
1073.84 it leads to death there is a way that the world preaches that we should go
1078.96 that we should follow that we should conform to that we should look like and in the end it leads to death yet what
1085.28 God’s word says is Jesus says in John 14:6 I am the way the truth and the life
1091.36 so he is saying the truth you are looking for can only be found in me i am the truth and I’m not only the truth i
1097.6 am the truth that leads to life and life abundantly and then it says in John 8:32 when you know the truth it’s the truth
1104.32 that will set you free and so if you have ever felt bound by lies if you have
1109.919 ever questioned your worth your confidence your purpose if you have ever wondered how you can break free from
1116.24 feeling weighed down exhausted overwhelmed or even insecure about who
1121.36 you truly are and what your purpose is on this earth this book is for you i have often said « I just want to be
1129.12 free. » I have looked at my husband many of times and said « I just want to be
1134.96 free i’m tired of feeling weighed down i’m tired of feeling not enough i’m
1140.559 tired of being on this endless cycle of striving and performing and never feeling like I can reach what I need to
1147.76 reach and be who I need to be. » And when I go back to the truth when I go back to
1153.2 who God is and who God says I am that is when I experience true freedom and so
1159.039 this book is for you and I am so excited True Crew for you to go and get your
1164.4 copy of Dare to be True you can pre-order it now i will be including the link in this episode and so you can go
1171.28 and pre-order it it will be coming out this fall i’m so so excited and I can’t
1176.32 wait we’re going to be doing some really fun series all about some of the content in this book but you’re going to want to
1181.6 get your hands on it because there’s some really really fun uh special pieces in this book that you can’t get in this
1186.96 podcast so you guys can go and pre-order Dare to Be True now if you want to break free from what is breaking you for those
1194.4 of you who are listening who maybe fall into one of these two categories and maybe not maybe you don’t maybe you have
1199.919 a pure pure heart and you don’t struggle with any of these things and thank God because that’s awesome that’s not been
1206.32 my story but I I am thankful if that’s yours that’s a that’s the grace of God if it is something you have struggled
1213.12 with whether you fall into the category of you have been pushing boundaries you have been struggling with secret sin um
1220.96 you have been whether it be on your own time or whether it be with someone that you’re dating or talking to hooking up
1226.88 with um and you’re pushing boundaries but you haven’t had sex and you’ve been hanging it your hat on but I haven’t had
1232.72 sex so I’m okay right because I haven’t had sex like that’s what I was told is don’t have sex or you fall into the
1237.84 category of you have had sex and now you’re like well well darn I’ve already had sex so like what’s the point i’ve
1243.6 already I’ve already given that to somebody i’ve already done that so like what’s the big deal now like I isn’t
1249.039 hasn’t it already happened like haven’t I ruined this for myself and I want to speak to both people because I fell into
1256.32 this category grant fell into this category if you’re not watching the video I fell into you know the the camp
1261.679 of well at least I haven’t had sex i’ve done the other stuff i’ve done other things but I haven’t had sex so I’m fine
1267.36 right grant fell into the category of I’ve had sex and so you know what’s the big deal now and so whichever category
1273.919 you fall into if you fall into one of those two camps I want to speak to both of you one the Holy Spirit the word of
1280.96 God talks about it’s so much more about the heart than it is about the body and
1289.28 so many of us are focused on our bodily cleanliness that we’re missing the
1294.32 purity of the heart like God cares about the purity of our heart it’s not about
1299.52 hey come to me with a clean and perfect resume hey get your life together and come to me god says come as you are but
1306.08 when you come into my presence know that you will not leave the same you will not leave the same you will not continue to
1311.52 walk in that life of sin you will not continue to be enslaved and addicted to those things that have kept you bound
1317.919 you will be set free because that’s what my spirit does is my spirit sets free it says that in John 8 where the spirit of
1324.48 the Lord is there is freedom and so if you are a child of God and you have experienced the spirit of God you will
1330.32 not stay enslaved to those things that doesn’t mean you will never fall into them again that means you won’t be
1335.679 enslaved by them and so I want to say first and foremost that purity is so
1341.679 much more about the heart than it is about you saying you have had sex or not have had sex or you know you’re you’re
1348.0 doing this and you’re not doing that it’s not about what you do or don’t do it’s a posture of your heart it’s who you are god’s word says be holy because
1355.44 I am holy we pursue holiness because he is holy it says in Ephesians 1:4 before
1361.2 the creation of the world I created you to be holy and blameless in my sight
1366.32 it’s who we are it’s who we were created to be and so it’s a part of our identity
1371.679 and as a believer it’s who we were called to be and so what I had to realize because I will raise my hand and
1379.039 say I’m the person who thought it was all about reputation i thought it was all about having a clean resume i thought it was all about bodily
1384.88 cleanliness that’s what I focused on right you know I mean if the outside of the car looks good then what who cares
1390.48 about the inside everyone else saw that I was saving myself for marriage everyone else saw that I said I was I
1396.08 was a virgin everyone else saw that I was this goody two shoes girl who went to Christian camp and went to church and
1403.76 said I loved God and knew a few verses and wore a cross necklace everyone else saw those things what they didn’t see
1409.44 was the secret sin that I was struggling with that I wasn’t telling anyone and it was keeping me from the presence of God
1415.2 it was keeping me from living a life of holiness it was keeping me from walking in my true God-given identity and from
1421.2 walking in my true God-given purpose because I was enslaved to sin and I wasn’t confessing it to God or to other
1426.96 people it was mastering my life it was keeping me bound i couldn’t experience
1432.08 the freedom that God had for me because I wasn’t confessing it i wasn’t living in the truth i wasn’t living in the
1438.88 light and so I want to speak to that because I think that there’s such a false um teaching out there and even the
1446.4 church does such a a a focus on bodily cleanliness the church focuses so much
1453.039 on fleeing from sex and it talks a lot about that and because of that it turns
1458.559 a lot of people away or it gives a lot of people um you know the permission maybe to then go and do other sexual
1465.52 acts as long as it’s not sex and I want to speak to that because it’s not about
1471.52 just sex it’s not about just sex it’s it’s anytime you orgasm it’s anytime you get worked up it’s anytime you lust the
1478.559 Bible is so clear about lust and it says « Flee from all sexual immorality every
1484.559 bit of it everything that gets your body going flee from it don’t tolerate it
1490.08 don’t flirt with it don’t think about it flee from it. » You look at the life of Joseph in scripture okay in in the book
1497.2 of Genesis you look at the life of Joseph and he’s having this moment where he’s tempted okay this beautiful woman
1503.84 who is the queen she’s got status she’s got power she’s got beauty and she finds
1509.279 Joseph in this moment and she wants to pull him away to sleep with him okay I imagine that is the ultimate temptation
1516.0 that Joseph is faced with and it literally says in that moment he ran he
1521.76 ran he ran so quick that literally she tore off a piece of his garment and I I
1529.36 think that’s such a picture for you and me of it’s not something to tolerate it’s not something to even try and fight
1535.6 with all your strength it’s not something to try and figure out it’s something that we are called to flee
1541.12 from and run from and cut off in our life it’s not something to be messed with and I just think that that’s we
1548.64 need to talk about that more like it’s it’s all sexual immorality it’s not let me dabble in this a little bit okay I
1554.24 can read steamy romance novels because I’m not at least watching porn okay I can watch these movies because at least
1560.48 I’m not watching porn or having sex with my boyfriend okay I can at least do these things with you know the person
1565.6 that I’m dating because I’m not having sex and I think that that is where I felt I was in that category and I
1571.36 struggled and I believed that lie and that lie led to a life of bondage that
1576.559 lie led to even consequences that I’ve had to deal with even in my own marriage
1581.679 and so yes you experience freedom and when you experience the the spirit of God like the spirit of God will set you
1588.72 free from those things and those things will no longer mark your life but you still deal with the consequences of sin
1593.76 and I want all of you to be spared from the consequences of sin all of you and I
1600.08 fell into that category grant fell into the other category that you know kind of
1605.84 felt like well I’ve already had sex and so what’s the big deal like it’s already a part of my story it’s already a part
1610.96 of my life and so that continued to be something he struggled with he continued to have sex with people and he shared
1617.2 that on this podcast so I feel that as his wife I can share that as part of his story and so that’s where he felt and I
1623.52 and I also want to speak to that because it talks about in scripture that if
1628.799 anyone is in Christ the old is gone the new is here you are a new creation in
1634.24 Christ Jesus so if you make a decision to follow Jesus to give him your everything that part of your story does
1641.679 not have to mark your life anymore who you used to be is not who you have to be you can choose from this day forward to
1648.799 choose a life of purity you can choose from this moment on to not let that be your story continued but it can be a
1656.08 part of your testimony where you testify to how God rescued you for how God redeemed you for how God purified you
1663.44 and so even if that’s a decision that you’ve made in your past I just want to speak to the person and I want to say you were not damaged goods you can
1670.159 choose from this day right now right here to save yourself for marriage you can choose right now to let that be a
1676.399 part of your story and I promise you your spouse and God will be so grateful
1681.6 so proud and I am so thankful i am so thankful that when Grant had a radical
1687.52 transformation with Jesus and when he started bringing accountability into his life and he choose to pursue a lifestyle
1693.36 of purity he wasn’t perfect did he have moments of falling short he did but he choose to pursue purity and because of
1699.12 that we were able to then at the altar when we gave ourselves to each other and to God body soul and spirit we had such
1707.2 a joy and such a peace because we knew that was something we had pursued
1712.24 individually and together and so I just I want to speak that to the person because you’re not too far gone to start
1717.6 this purity journey you’re not too far gone no matter which camp you fall into whether you’re the person who has been
1723.679 living in secret sin and no one knows about it whether you’re the person that’s been pushing boundaries with someone that you’re dating whether
1729.279 you’re the person who’s addicted to pornography whether you’re the person that’s had sex with multiple people and you feel like it’s too far gone and
1735.84 what’s the use wherever you’re at in this journey I just want to say God
1741.76 wants your heart god wants your heart and when you get the heart right when the heart becomes pure everything else
1747.919 falls into place everything else falls into place and that’s what I had to learn is that when I was beating myself
1754.559 up God was like « Maddie I’m not I’m not looking for you to be perfect i’m
1759.6 looking for your heart to be pure and I want to help purify it like you can’t do it without me you need my Holy Spirit
1765.6 but you also need my people. » And so to continue on with my story that was
1771.039 something that marked my life for a long time and you know what it was that helped me break free confession
1777.679 confession was what led to my freedom from sexual sin confession led to
1783.279 freedom from sexual sin for me confessing to God and confessing to
1788.64 other believers that set me free from the addiction to sexual sin and from the
1794.159 spirit of lust that was on my life as soon as I confessed to God honestly this
1799.44 is me being real with you guys nothing really happened okay i confessed to God
1804.64 and I said « God I don’t want this to mark my life god I am struggling with this and I hate that I’m struggling with
1810.88 this and I hate that I I I keep falling back into it and I tell you I’m not going to do it again and then I do it again and I I don’t know why i don’t
1816.72 know why I can’t break free from this i’m so sorry Lord and every single time I would feel the Lord’s embrace every
1822.159 single time I would feel the Lord come around me and remind me of Romans 8:1 and meet me where I’m at but the problem
1829.44 was because no one else was brought in on it it continued to stay this constant
1835.52 secret battle okay this this secret battle with me in sin and this secret uh
1842.159 situation where like I really wanted God to be proud of me and I really wanted God to be pleased with me and I I wanted
1848.559 to make God proud and I I I wanted to love God well and and I struggled with
1853.919 it all in secret all in secret and I wondered why I couldn’t break free and I
1858.96 wondered why I couldn’t let go of this sin that’s so easily entangled in my
1864.159 life and truly when I confessed to other
1869.36 believers that was when I started experiencing and tasting the freedom
1875.279 that it talks about in scripture and I believe that the two go hand in hand
1880.48 because you see it all throughout scripture in different people’s stories but just like David prayed in Psalm 51
1888.64 Lord create in me a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me i had to have a heart posture of repentance
1895.12 repentance says, »Lord I want to turn to you and I want to turn away from that sin. » That’s what repentance means and I
1901.2 had that heart posture i wanted that and I I was truly sorrowful and grieving
1906.799 over my sin i hated the sin that I continued to fall into it wasn’t like I loved it and didn’t want to give it to
1913.44 God i genuinely started to hate it and be disgusted by it and I would repent
1918.88 and I would say « Lord I don’t want this help me please help me but it wasn’t until I brought other people in and I
1925.84 had them pray for me and I had them hear me out and I had them speak scripture over me and then I had them hold me
1932.48 accountable that then I was able to then genuinely walk in freedom and so it
1937.76 takes both the spirit of God and the people of God to experience the freedom of God it takes both you can’t have it
1945.679 without that you can’t do it on your own no matter how strong you think you are okay it’s fine and like I struggle with
1951.44 this spirit of lust but it’s okay i can lay on the couch with with my boyfriend it’s not that big of a deal oh okay i struggle with the spirit of lust it’s
1957.36 okay like I can be out past midnight at the bars like I I won’t give into that i won’t go home with this person okay like
1963.039 I I struggle with this but like I can still you know watch these shows on Netflix it’s not going to it’s not going
1969.279 to trigger anything for me but then we fall into the sin and we wonder why we keep falling into the sin and for me it
1975.44 took me becoming disgusted with my sin me repenting to God and inviting the Holy
1982.88 Spirit to help me holy Spirit I can’t do this without you i don’t have the strength i do not have the strength to break free from this sin i need your
1990.32 help Lord and then it took me humbling myself because honestly you guys it is
1996.159 so scary it is so scary to go up to a person and say « Hi I’m struggling with
2002.72 porn. » Okay that is not an easy thing to say and especially I think for women for
2008.559 whatever reason the enemy has really made us women feel like it’s not it’s not something we should struggle with
2015.679 and that it’s only and maybe that’s the church maybe the church has only focused on for so long it being a man’s problem
2021.679 that lust is only a man’s problem and I want to be the first to say that it is not only a man’s problem and I also want
2028.159 to say I go to all of these Christian conferences as as a speaker and and I I
2033.44 have people come forward of of all gender female and males come forward and confess like « Hey what is it that you’re
2039.44 struggling with write it down on a piece of paper let us pray over it. » And what I see so often is that legit 80% is
2048.56 females that are struggling and stuck in sexual sin and have not told anyone almost almost every single time the
2056.079 biggest struggle for so many female Christians is sexual sin and so I just
2062.399 again I want to say this is the lie of the enemy is that you can’t tell anyone the lie of the enemy is that it’s a
2068.399 man’s problem the lie of the enemy is that you’re all alone in it and I want to be the first to say you’re not alone
2074.079 it’s not just a man’s problem whether you’re a male or a female listening to this it’s both sin is sin and the enemy
2080.72 is crafty and he wants to destroy your life and so he will use whatever he has to to take your soul like he will use
2087.359 whatever he has to and he knows that there’s something there’s something set apart about sexual sin it just there is
2094.159 and scripture talks about it it says in 1 Corinthians 16 it talks about it how every other sin is outside of a person’s
2102.8 body but one who sins sexually does it to themselves it’s like you’re you’re sinning against your own body when you
2109.2 fall into sexual sin and so it does specify I’m not saying that sexual sin is way worse than all these other sins
2115.2 but the Bible is clear that there is something about sexual sin that is
2120.48 different it just it is it’s different and so it does something to us it creates soul tides it creates bondage
2128.32 that it seems like other sins don’t and so whether it is something you’re doing in private or whether it’s something
2134.24 you’re doing with another person either way you’re creating these as you’re you know experiencing an orgasm as you’re
2141.119 experiencing a release as you’re experiencing these things you’re attaching yourself to whatever it is
2146.64 whether it’s a computer screen whether it’s a book whether it’s yourself whether it’s a person you’re dating or
2152.56 interested in or a random person that you found at a bar whatever whoever whatever you’re creating these soul ties
2160.079 you’re creating these things that are going to be really really really hard to break free from and I and I and it’s not
2165.839 impossible because I I did but I just I want to speak to the seriousness of it too because scripture is clear that all
2172.56 other sins and I’ll I’ll even read uh the verse verbatim because I don’t want to I don’t want to butcher it it says in
2179.04 1 Corinthians 6:18 « Flee from sexual immorality all other sins a person commits are outside of the body but
2186.8 whoever sins sexually sins against their own body whoever sins sexually sins against their own body
2193.52 again not whoever sins when they have sex with another person okay whoever sins sexually that covers all sexual
2200.96 acts you sin against your own body do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you
2207.04 whom you have received from God you are not your own so one of the biggest lies that the enemy has infiltrated in our
2214.16 minds today in 2025 is you this is your body do with it what you want this is
2220.56 your body if that’s what brings you pleasure if that’s what you want to do with your body go do it scripture is
2226.64 clear you are not your own you are not your own it’s not your body it’s God’s
2232.079 body you were bought at a price therefore honor God with your bodies
2238.96 it’s not your body this is not my body this is a body that has the the the
2244.4 presence of God in it this is a body that belongs to the Lord so for me when
2250.8 I finally confessed to friends and I brought them into what I was struggling
2257.28 with you know what was absolutely crazy because I was terrified to say it i was I was so scared to say it okay I have to
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2332.4 was crazy was as soon as I said the thing that I was so scared to say i immediately felt free immediately like
2341.119 immediately something shifted something happened when I spoke what was in the dark and I brought it into the light
2347.599 something shifted something happened now obviously that doesn’t mean I went from
2352.96 that moment and never struggled again absolutely not i continued to struggle but as I brought it into the light and I
2358.96 brought other people into it I then created an atmosphere where my sin was brought into the light people were aware
2365.2 of it and they then could hold me accountable and so I just remember like
2370.88 as soon as I confessed that and my friend looked at me and she was like « Maddie that is something I’ve struggled
2376.96 with for so long. » And I was like « You mean I’m not the only one you mean that
2382.72 this is actually something other girls struggle with too? » I couldn’t believe it and I immediately felt freer i
2390.48 immediately felt there’s hope like I can I can break free from this because for
2395.839 the longest time I really felt like it was something I was always going to have to struggle with i felt like for the longest time it was going to be shame
2400.88 that was going to mark my life forever and when I confessed and I brought this other female friend into it and I do
2407.52 want to say like who you confess to matters to who you confess to really really matters i didn’t go to my my
2413.119 boyfriend um I didn’t go to uh even a male pastor i found another female who
2419.76 believed in Jesus who loved Jesus and who loved me that I knew wouldn’t go and
2425.599 gossip about my sin but that would care about me enough to also not let me live in my sin and I knew I could confess to
2431.76 that friend and say « Hey I’m struggling with this sin and I want to tell you because I need you to help me. » And when
2437.44 I confessed and she empathized with me and said « I see you i’ I’ve done that too and that is something that’s been
2443.28 hard for me. » I immediately felt lighter and freer and then I said « Will you help
2448.56 me? » You see the thing about sin is is it shouldn’t turn into this like you know we’re we’re now bonding over this
2455.119 sin that we always struggle with like it shouldn’t be like « Okay I’m confessing this sin to you and now you’re
2460.4 confessing this sin to me. » And so like woohoo we’re not alone we struggle in it together that’s not the point the point
2465.76 is you confess the sin to each other you pray for each other so that you may be healed like it talks about in the book
2470.96 of James and then you hold each other accountable so that you don’t keep falling back into the bondage that
2476.0 enslaves you you hold each other accountable so that you can experience the freedom that Christ created for you
2482.079 and that was what was gamecher for me was putting community in my life that
2487.28 loved God that loved me that had the spirit of God and that could hold me accountable
2492.4 again it was not a one-time freedom thing i never fell for it again i did
2498.079 fall back into it i fell back into it when I radically loved Jesus i fell back into it when I was sold out for Jesus
2503.359 when I was telling other people about Jesus i fell back into it and it still created that same shame and that pit in
2510.079 my stomach of who are you to say you’re a child of God who are you to pretend
2515.28 like you know you you represent Jesus when you struggle with this sin when you’re not even totally free from it and
2521.359 so if that’s been your story I just want to say I’ve been there and I felt so
2527.2 dirty because of it but I just I continued to repent i continued to confess to other people and I continued
2532.96 to have people hold me accountable and thank God I am free like I am free and I
2538.319 still have to make the choice every day like it says in Galatians 5:1 it is for freedom that Christ has set you free but
2544.72 do not return back to the bondage of your past it’s still a choice for me every single day you guys even as a
2550.8 married woman to not return back to the past of my sexual sin addictions it’s still a choice every single day for me
2557.76 not to choose to lust after things that I see online or to give into maybe when I have a feeling that arises where I
2564.64 just want to escape or I just want to numb or I just want to feel something i still have to choose every single day no
2571.359 I am a child of God i will not be mastered by my cravings i am going to die to myself and die to to those
2579.04 cravings and desires that are of the flesh that are not of God i’m going to choose to crucify those and I’m going to
2584.56 choose to pursue God and it is a daily decision and so wherever you’re at on this journey you are not alone you can
2591.92 break free there is hope for you you’re not too far gone and God has a huge plan and a purpose for your life and part of
2598.319 that is walking in purity part of that is walking in purity and it actually talks about that in in the Bible and I
2606.319 want to read this to you because I had never heard this passage until recently as uh one of my pastors Pastor Jonathan
2613.04 Pudo was talking about this as he was speaking um at one of these college campuses that we go to with Unite and I
2620.0 was like man that’s such a powerful profound uh view of this because I had not heard it presented in this way and
2626.56 he was talking about how everyone wants to know the mysterious will of God
2631.599 everyone wants to know God what is your will for my life what have you called me to what do you want me to do who have
2638.16 you called me to marry god what do you have for me we want to know these question mark things we want God to
2643.28 reveal god give me clarity god show me the way god bring me this person god what is your will what is your will what
2648.8 is my purpose in life we want to know these mysterious things of God when we’re totally abandoning and neglecting
2656.0 the revealed will of God and it says it in 1 Thessalonians 4:3 it is God’s will
2663.44 what is God’s will for my life it is God’s will that you should be sanctified
2668.72 that you should avoid sexual immorality that you should learn to control your
2674.64 own body in a way that is holy and honorable not in passionate lust like
2680.0 the pagans aka not in passionate lust like the rest of the world you believers should be set apart not impassionate
2686.4 lust like the pagans who do not know God for you know God therefore that should
2691.44 not be your story it goes on to say in verse 7 for God did not call us to be
2696.8 impure but to live a holy life therefore anyone who rejects this instruction does
2703.119 not reject a human being but God the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit
2709.359 and so just know this is not instruction from Maddie and Maddie saying « Hey go
2714.88 live a pure life go live a holy life i really think you should i really think you should do it i I’m trying to do it
2720.48 you should do it. » If you choose to reject what I’m telling you just know you’re not rejecting a human being
2726.4 you’re rejecting the God of this universe who created you who has a plan and a purpose for your life that you
2732.8 cannot fulfill that you cannot walk into the fullest if you stay bound and enslaved to the things of this world and
2739.839 to the things of your flesh it says in Romans 8 you cannot live in the realm of the flesh and please God you cannot you
2746.72 cannot continue to pursue the things that your flesh desires and live a holy life that honors and pleases God and so
2755.119 I really want to get practical um I’ve talked a lot about how you know confession was so huge for me i I’ve
2761.68 talked a lot about how repentance is so important i’ve talked a lot about um how God cares so much more about the purity
2768.0 of our hearts and I want to get really really practical for us as we kind of start wrapping up this this episode
2775.119 because I know that some of you are like « But Maddie you just you don’t get it i’ve tried i’ve tried I’ve tried i’ve
2780.319 tried everything and this is like still a part of my story no Maddie you don’t get it like I lead in this way i could
2786.0 never tell people that this is something I struggle with no Maddie you don’t get it like this is something that all of my
2791.92 friends would would shame me like they would see me so differently if I if I confessed this. » And if that’s true then
2797.359 I would say those aren’t real friends those aren’t good friends because any any Christian who is sold out and in
2804.88 love with Jesus knows that no one is above sin no one all of us all of us it
2811.599 says in God’s word we all have fallen short every single one of us we’ve all fallen short and it is only by God’s
2818.0 grace that we are redeemed that we are saved and that we can continue to stay set free it is only by his grace and
2823.68 only by his spirit and the power of his spirit and so if you have godly community in your life and you choose to
2829.359 go to them and confess to them and maybe don’t just like drop the bomb on them okay maybe maybe be like « Hey I really
2834.48 want to talk to you about something you know there’s something that I’ve been really struggling with and I really need your prayer and I need I need your
2840.16 wisdom and and and I just I want to be really honest like this is this has been holding me back this has been keeping me
2846.0 you know from from having a life of freedom and from having a life that that God intends for me and I really need to
2851.04 share it with you um and and ask them like hey can we can we keep this between us i really don’t want this to you know
2858.079 become a hot topic in the friend group i don’t want this to like leave this conversation i I really am entrusting
2863.44 this to you but I know that the enemy is using this sin in my life right now to keep me separated from God and I know
2869.839 that the enemy is having a heyday with my life right now as long as I keep it in secret and so I need to confess this
2875.2 to you and I and I think if you start with a conversation like that they understand the weightiness of it they’re also not caught off guard with you know
2881.359 if you just come up and you’re like « Hey I’m struggling with porn what do you think about it? » So it’s like « Hey let’s set the scene. » Um I wouldn’t just tell
2888.24 everyone i would pick a friend that you really trust you trust them um because of their love for you but you also trust
2894.4 their relationship with Jesus you trust the the spirit inside of them and maybe it’s a friend maybe it’s a mentor um I
2901.28 personally would make sure it’s not someone you’re dating i would make sure it’s not someone of the opposite sex and
2906.8 I would also even say it’s not someone that’s a family member like I would say it’s not a parent it’s not and I’m not
2912.16 saying you can’t go on to tell then your parents or tell your siblings but I do think that there’s something powerful
2918.0 about finding a friend um who can really really hold you accountable in this um
2923.28 and where you’re not going to feel any sort of like judgment or like you’re going to withhold certain pieces of
2928.64 information but that you feel like you can tell the whole thing you can tell every bit of it and they can hold you accountable and so yeah just getting
2936.16 practical i would say if sexual sin has been a struggle for you the first thing
2941.28 that you need to do is you need to repent and confess to God the very first thing that you need to do is hit your
2946.88 knees and you need to weep before the Lord and say « Father forgive me i am sorry that I have hurt you i am sorry
2953.68 that I have been stuck in this sin that I haven’t known how to get free from i repent i say I’m a sinner i declare you
2960.4 as my savior and I am asking you to save me from this sin will you please help me i can’t do this apart from your spirit
2966.8 so I am asking you Holy Spirit to help me break free from this sin and so have a moment of repentance but also have a
2973.68 moment of confession where you are genuinely so broken over your sin you’re so disgusted by your sin you know it’s
2980.88 it talks about in scripture it talks about in the Proverbs how the fear of the Lord is what keeps us from sin the
2986.96 fear of the Lord keeps us from sin and so when we have a fear of God when we understand the sovereignty of God when
2993.92 we understand the power of God it should bring us to our knees and we should be so broken over our sinfulness and say
3001.119 « You are God you are good and I am broken over how much I am not good and
3006.48 over how bad I really am and how how much I am desperate for your good spirit to come and dwell in me and to lead me
3014.0 along your paths of righteousness because I I can’t walk in the way of righteousness on my own i I need your
3019.76 help and it it takes that moment of of being broken over your sin if you’re not
3024.8 genuinely broken over your sin you’re never going to be free from your sin that sin is going to continue to entangle itself in your life again and
3031.68 again and again you’re going to find yourself in the same cycle of sin again and again and again until you come to a
3037.2 point where you’re so disgusted by sin you see sin as evil you see sin as ultimately separating you from the most
3043.52 important person in the whole entire world which is Jesus and you’re so broken over it that you’re brought to
3049.359 tears you look at the life of David who is described as a man after God’s own
3054.64 heart who did not live a perfect life and who was not always pure who lived a life where he he he not lived a life but
3061.119 he had a moment where he gave into sexual sin he slept with someone that was not his wife and because of that
3068.0 there was multiple consequences but you see him have this heart posture of confession and repentance where he is so
3074.8 broken over his sin he comes to God he comes to God so broken over his sin and
3081.2 he he asks him Lord create in me create in me a pure heart and and he he’s so
3088.559 he’s so desperate for the Lord to wash him clean he knows that nothing he does can make him clean and I want to speak
3094.4 that over someone nothing you do can make you clean baptism doesn’t make you clean having a relationship with someone
3100.88 who’s better than the person you were just in a relationship with doesn’t make you clean you know doing all the right
3105.92 things going to church whatever that does not make you clean only the blood of Jesus can wash you clean only the
3112.72 spirit of God can keep you clean and so the only way you and I can break free the only way you and I can become clean
3119.76 is by the blood of Jesus and and David recognized that and he says, »Lord create in me a pure heart. » Like « Purify me
3126.24 cleanse me of all unrighteousness cleanse me of all ungodliness cleanse me of all the things that are not of you
3132.16 and purify my heart. » And you see God does that like God begins to purify him
3137.44 but it started with that and so I would say it starts with repentance and confession to God like take it to God
3142.72 and confess and repent and be broken over your sin the second thing is confess to a godly friend confess to a
3149.28 godly friend and like I said confess to someone who is of the same gender who you trust and you trust the relationship
3155.76 with Jesus and how do you confess you confess fast so right now literally as
3161.359 soon as you get off this podcast don’t put it off don’t say « I’ll wait till tomorrow. » Don’t say « I’ll wait till next week. » Don’t say « I’ll wait till. »
3167.52 Do it immediately confess fast confessed fully tell all of it don’t hold any of
3174.319 it back don’t say « I’m gonna I’m gonna say the the 80% that kind of keeps me in this category of still being like a good
3180.24 Christian girl or a good Christian guy. » Confess all of it do not hold any of it
3185.359 back what you keep in the dark the devil will continue to keep as a stronghold in
3190.559 your life and you will continue to struggle with that thing if you do not confess it fully if you do not confess all of it and the small sins don’t stay
3198.079 small they will get bigger they will get bigger they will lead to bigger things and bigger problems and bigger
3203.599 consequences so confess even the smallest of things even if your sin struggle is hey I I I lusted after you
3211.76 know this person that I saw at the gym you know I had this ungodly thought when I watched this movie or I had this
3218.559 ungodly feeling um or I’m idolizing marriage and I really really really really want to be married or I’m I’m
3224.64 lusting after this thing or whatever it is confessing at the thought level is so
3230.88 important don’t wait till it’s like this big sin small sins don’t stay small so
3236.48 confess it as soon as you feel it and confess it fully it talks about when we
3243.28 confess there is so when we confess he is he is faithful and just to purify us
3250.0 from all unrighteousness so just know like there is so much power in confession and I just I really want to
3256.319 harp on those two things because you c again I said this earlier but you can’t do it without the spirit of God and you can’t do it without the people of God
3262.559 and so you need both in order to experience the freedom of God that he has for you and then I would even say
3269.44 just to get super super practical what are your triggers like what are your temptation triggers cut off
3276.559 whatever triggers the temptation for you it talks about in scripture in Matthew 5
3283.44 I don’t know if it’s Matthew 5 maybe Matthew it’s somewhere in Matthew the book of Matthew it talks about the importance of cutting off temptation
3290.16 triggers and Jesus is saying he’s saying « Hey if your hand causes you to sin cut
3295.599 it off if your eyes cause you to sin gouge it out. » Now that’s obviously real
3301.359 intense i’m not telling you to literally go cut off your arm and to literally go gouge out your eye and I don’t think
3307.28 that’s what Jesus was trying to say either i think what Jesus was trying to say is sin is intense with you so you
3312.8 have to be intense with sin you can’t let sin just continue to linger in your life you can’t just tolerate sin you
3319.839 can’t just see what’s going to h You have to cut it out you have to cut it off and so because of that cutting off
3326.96 temptation triggers what is that for you is that you’re dating someone and every time you’re on the couch you find
3333.599 yourself falling into sexual sin every time you’re hanging out past 10 p.m with someone that you like you’re falling
3339.359 into sexual sin maybe it’s every time you’re alone past a certain time you’re falling into sexual sin maybe it’s your
3345.839 computer maybe it’s your Xbox maybe it’s Instagram i don’t Netflix what steamy romance novels whatever the hand is or
3352.559 the eye is for you identify it and then cut it off okay identify it and then
3358.64 bring in accountability and then take the steps that you need to take in order to cut it off you have to be intense
3364.559 with sin sin is not going to just go away on its own you’re not going to graduate i promise you’re not going to
3369.76 graduate from sin it’s going to continue in your life to be a temptation and so
3375.2 you have to be intense with it you have to set up boundaries you have to set up guardrails you have to bring people in
3380.88 in order for it to no longer have a grip on your life anymore and so for me identifying okay computer phone certain
3389.04 times past like the night is when I would get tempted and so what I would even go as far to say and some people
3395.04 might think I’m crazy for saying this delete your social media if you need to delete your social media throw out your Xbox if you need to throw out your Xbox
3401.2 get rid of any books that you need to get rid of unsubscribe from Netflix if you need to unsubscribe and I would even
3406.88 go as far to say is don’t have time alone like if you’re single and you
3412.319 struggle with this like or if you’re dating and you struggle with this alone time can be really dangerous especially
3418.0 past a certain time and so if that’s your struggle then I would encourage you to
3424.4 constantly be around people and literally only go into your room when it’s time for you to sleep and as soon
3430.64 as you wake up turn on all your lights and go out into the living room in the living space if you live alone invite
3436.0 people over like just know what it is that is your trigger and when you continue to fall into temptation for me
3442.559 it was alone time and it was when I was in my bedroom like those were the big temptation triggers and the sad thing was was I didn’t even always have to
3449.359 watch something because I’d already watched enough to have it replaying in my mind and so if that’s you and you’re
3454.64 like « Hey I’m not struggling with porn. » Maybe you’ve already seen enough or you’ve read enough to then it can now
3461.04 become a fantasy that you can replay in your mind to get to where you need to get in order to masturbate or to feel
3466.799 the things you want to feel and so if that is also your struggle I just want to say that that is also a sin and that
3474.48 that is also just as bad and fantasizing about it and lusting after it and thinking about it and then letting it
3480.799 lead to masturbation all of it is sin and you know people say like masturbation is not talked about in
3486.0 scripture like where is it talked about in in the Bible about masturbation again it says flee from all sexual immorality
3494.319 it is still a sexual thing it’s still a sexual act even if it’s just with yourself you’re still orgasming you’re
3501.04 still you know bringing yourself to this like feeling that you’re only supposed to be experiencing with your spouse
3506.72 you’re only supposed to be experiencing with your significant other and why why why because God created sex to be and
3514.24 all sexual acts all orgasms experience to be done in the confinement of marriage to be unifying you know that
3521.52 sex is actually worship like how crazy is it to think about it like that sex is actually worship
3528.559 because God created it and there is nothing more unifying in the physical realm than when we have an orgasm and
3535.2 when we experiencing these sexual acts with someone else or even with our like if you’re doing it with yourself there
3540.559 it’s we’re not supposed to be experiencing that outside of the confinement of marriage and so it’s so
3547.839 so important for us to understand that and so even if it’s not porn for you like what is it for you and I also want
3555.52 to say too like I don’t want to miss this part because I touched on this earlier that and I could we literally
3560.559 could talk about this you guys and I’ll just have to do another episode um later on more about this because there’s so
3567.599 many things we could cover and and I want to know more of what you guys specifically maybe want me to talk about
3572.799 in this topic and I would love to know any questions that you have or struggles that you’re feeling um particular to you
3579.359 but I do want to say I mentioned this earlier that purity is so much more about the heart god cares about the
3584.72 heart and so many of us are stuck in sin so many of us are stuck in sexual sin
3590.16 because we’re dealing with the fruit and not the root so many of us are trying to pick off the fruit gosh I just need to
3595.839 stop sinning i need to stop sinning i need to stop sinning and we’re not getting to the root issue which is a heart problem it’s a heart problem we’re
3602.48 allowing things to entangle our hearts we’re allowing things to corrupt our hearts and we’re not dealing with that
3608.4 and when we’re only dealing with the surface level things and we’re not getting to the actual deeprooted issue
3613.839 we’re never going to experience real freedom and so we have to get to the core problem we have to get to the core
3619.52 issue and say « Okay I I am addicted to something that is outside of God’s will i am addicted to something that is
3624.559 impure and not holy i am addicted to something that is not of God and from God therefore I need to cut it off i
3630.4 need to confess it i need to repent from it i need to turn from it. » And that is
3636.079 so so important because you know at the end of the day like if you’re just focused on you know the the cleanliness
3642.16 of your body and what other people see and you have a corrupt heart like Jesus rebuked that in the Pharisees jesus
3648.72 talked about that so much in Matthew 23 and I want to read a little bit of that we’re coming to a close i again I could
3654.72 talk about this you guys for literally hours and I actually like I I wrote about this in my book that is coming out
3660.64 soon and I’m so excited for it to come out because my book covers so much about
3667.119 the entanglements of sin the entanglements of of the weights that we carry and the shame that it brings the
3672.559 seriousness of sin the consequences of sin and how to break free from it all because I know so many of us are just
3678.64 like I just want to be free but I don’t know how to get free I feel so bound i feel like I just want a breath of
3685.52 fresh air but I don’t know how I don’t know how to get that i don’t know how to do that i just I don’t know how to get free and my book talks about it so much
3692.079 and I have a whole chapter just dedicated to this topic i have a whole chapter just dedicated to the idea of a
3697.76 life of purity and holiness and why that’s God’s command for our life why God commands us to be holy and pure
3703.839 because the world says that that means he’s withholding something from us like why would God call you to give all that
3709.04 up like isn’t that good like isn’t it good for you to experience this this like level of high and this level of pleasure why would God want to keep you
3715.28 from pleasure he’s not keeping you from pleasure he is protecting you he is protecting you from the things that want
3722.16 to rob you of the life that he died to give you he is protecting you from the
3728.079 things that will keep you bound and enslaved that will keep you from his
3733.68 very best i promise you that any time I gave into sexual sin it never ever ever
3741.119 gave me what I was looking for but every single time I resisted sexual sin and I pursued God with all of my heart it
3747.359 always delivered everything my heart desired every single time every time and
3753.68 it didn’t always look pretty sometimes it was like « Okay I’m struggling with a sexual sin and I really really want to
3759.2 give in i really want to give into this temptation but instead I’m gonna get on my knees and I’m gonna say « God I I
3764.319 really want this sin right now but I I I actually want you more and so will you help me will you help me will you help
3770.16 me will you help me? » And then I would like run into my roommate’s room and be like « I’m having this thought. » Or I
3775.68 would literally go on a run outside because I just needed to like get my mind off of it or I would call a friend
3781.359 or I would turn on a worship song and I would just do whatever it took to get my mind off of it and to say « I want this
3788.319 sin but Jesus I want you more i want you more and it we have to get to the point
3793.68 where we want Jesus more than we want our sin but it’s all about a heart of purity and you can’t just focus on what
3800.559 you’re doing or what you’re not doing you have to focus on what’s in your heart and that’s what God cares about
3806.079 and you know Jesus is having this moment in Matthew 23 where he’s rebuking the the Pharisees who on the outside were
3813.839 these people who had everything together right like they were the teachers of the word of God like they were the ones that
3819.76 people quite literally worshiped because they had um they had access to the very words of God that other people didn’t
3825.92 have access to and so they would read the word of God they would teach the word of God and in that time they didn’t have Bibles they didn’t have like not
3832.48 just the common person had access to the scriptures and so the Pharisees were very high level they were important
3838.559 people and Jesus is literally rebuking them because their hearts weren’t pure
3844.16 and he says in Matthew 23:2 to the Pharisees « You clean the outside
3849.52 of the cup and dish but the inside you are full of greed and self-indulgence you blind Pharisee first clean the
3857.039 inside of the cup and dish and then the outside will also be clean. » And so as
3862.4 I’ve talked about you know repent and confess and flee and cut off the
3868.16 temptation triggers I want to end with this a lot of us are stuck in sin because we’re focused so much on defense
3874.48 and not enough on offense it is so important 100% to flee from
3880.16 sexual sin but it is just if not more important to pursue righteousness to
3885.839 pursue purity to pursue holiness it’s not enough to just say « Okay okay don’t sin Matty matty don’t sin today don’t
3892.48 sin don’t sin. » More than anything my heart posture my mindset is Jesus I love
3899.2 you i want you i want all of you i want less of me and I want more of you body soul and spirit I’m yours purify my
3906.48 heart remove any offensive way in me Lord i want you i want the things of God i want the will of God in my life i want
3913.359 to honor God with my life and with my body and I have that mindset and when I have that mindset and I pursue purity
3919.359 with all of my heart it becomes so much easier to then flee from sexual sin it becomes so much easier to then flee from
3925.359 the things that are not of God or from God and so I I want to end with that is there is an offensive approach in this
3931.599 as well not just defense we don’t have to just be on our heels we can also be on our toes and say « Hey I am going to
3938.319 run after the things of God i’m going to chase after Jesus with all of my heart
3943.76 and know that it is a both and. » It talks about in the scriptures that we should flee from sexual sins and and
3950.24 youthful lusts but also it says « But pursue love and faith and righteousness
3955.44 with the people of God. » It talks about that in the scripture and so I want to end with it’s so important that we
3963.119 pursue purity the true root of our purity and the way we’re able to stay
3968.88 pure is the presence of God we have to be in the presence of God we have to be in the word of God it talks about in
3974.96 Psalm 119 how can a young person stay pure by living according to your word by
3980.559 live by living according to the word we have to be in the word of God we have to be in the presence of God to be able to
3987.2 pursue purity that pleases God we have to we have to we can’t do it without him
3993.52 and we can’t do it without people and we can’t do it without his presence and we can’t do it without his word and it is
4000.079 possible i just want to end with that it is possible purity is possible holiness is possible if I was able to break free
4006.48 you can break free it can be your story even if it hasn’t been up until this point it can be your story and I want to
4012.559 end with prayer as I just pray for you guys and I want to know like I really do I want to know what it is that you
4020.24 particularly have been struggling with when it comes to purity and maybe truly maybe it’s not some something sexual
4026.559 like maybe it it is just a lust after something or someone or idolizing something or someone and your heart is
4033.839 impure not for sexual sin reasons but just impure in different ways um maybe
4039.039 it’s impure because of pride maybe it’s impure because of self-righteousness maybe it’s impure because of other
4044.64 reasons or maybe sexual sin has been a huge struggle for you for so long and
4049.68 you haven’t known how to get free and I pray that this episode has helped you so much but more than anything I pray that
4056.16 God meets you right now right now in this moment and and I and I want you to close your eyes with me because there’s
4061.28 this moment in John chapter 8 where Jesus meets this woman who’s caught in the act of adultery she’s caught in the
4067.119 act of sexual sin and he doesn’t come up to her and condemn her he doesn’t come up to her and say « How could you how
4074.4 dare you? » Instead he meets her where she’s at but then he goes on to say « Okay now go and
4082.079 live a life of of no more sin go and sin no more. » So he calls her out of her sin not to humiliate her but to help her and
4089.92 so I want you to know right now God is meeting you where you’re at and he’s calling you to confess not to humiliate
4095.76 you but to help you and so you can live a life of freedom that he died for you to experience and for you to have and so
4103.92 Lord I pray for every single person under the sound of my voice that has felt enslaved by the things of this
4109.279 world that has felt mastered by the the things of their flesh and the desires of their flesh that has continued to be um
4116.4 living this life of secret sin and they don’t know how to break free and they feel so bound by their own brokenness i
4122.88 pray right now in the mighty name of Jesus that your love would just come around them and fill them that you would
4128.799 comfort them that you would show them that you are not looking at them with this long judge you know stick ready to
4134.88 hit them every time they mess up that you are coming to them with open arms that you are embracing them with grace
4140.64 and with love but because you care about them so much you say to them you look at
4145.759 them with loving eyes I have so much more for you daughter i have so much more for you daughter i have so much
4151.279 more for you son i want a life of freedom for you and so Lord I pray that
4156.56 by the power of your Holy Spirit that you would set them free from the sin that so easily entangles that you would
4162.08 set them free from the weights that weigh them down and that that by your spirit they would be cleansed that by
4167.92 your blood they would be cleansed and they would be set free but I also pray I pray for people of God to come around
4173.04 them for they for them to invite in the people of God to confess to and that and
4179.6 and that would hold them accountable and that would help them live this life of freedom because it’s one thing Lord to
4186.799 get set free but it’s a whole another thing to stay free and so Lord I pray that you would give them people around
4192.56 them that would help them walk out this freedom every single day and Lord I pray
4197.76 that this would no longer mark their lives that they would not experience shame they would not feel shame right now after everything we’ve talked about
4203.76 they would not feel a weight of shame for shame is not from you conviction is from you and there is a huge difference
4209.84 i pray that they would experience conviction but that they would not experience shame and any shame right now
4215.52 would be shattered in your name and that conviction would take over and that you would lead them by a spirit of
4220.8 conviction closer to you and closer to the life that you have for them thank you Lord that your way is better that
4226.56 your way is so much better that a life of purity actually leads to a life of purpose that a life of purity actually
4232.08 leads to a life of peace that a life of purity actually leads to a life of freedom and joy and so I pray over my
4238.159 friends right now that they would be uh drawn to and excited to live this life
4243.92 of purity because it’s it’s the best and it’s your will and because it’s your will it’s the best and so Lord I thank
4250.0 you for my friends and I thank you that the purity is a possible pursuit because it’s by your spirit and through your
4255.679 spirit and not our own strength lord we love you and we thank you we thank you for what you’ve done for us and we thank
4260.719 you for um what you continue to do in us and through us and I thank you for my friends i pray that they feel seen loved
4267.12 and known right now in this moment in Jesus name amen guys this was much
4272.159 longer than I expected and like I said I still couldn’t cover everything and I wish I could but I wish that I could
4277.44 also be sitting across from all of you and just hug you and love you and let you know that you’re not alone um but I
4285.76 do want to talk about this more and I also want to say I talk about so much more practicals in my book that I can’t
4291.92 talk about it all in an hour hour and a half episode but in my book I really talk about how you can break free from
4297.84 sin how you really can break free from the addiction of impurity and all the
4303.12 things and so if that’s been your struggle if that’s been a part of your story um Dare to Be True you can
4309.28 pre-order it now and I’ll include the link so that you guys can go and check it out this is not a pitch to go and buy my book this is literally my story i
4316.0 wrote this book from a place of saying I just want to be free i just want to experience more of Jesus i just want to
4322.0 live a life of freedom and I I want to stay true to it and I want to I want to stay free and so if that is you um I do
4329.44 believe that this book will really really help you so love you guys let me know how this episode encouraged you
4334.48 what you want to hear more of for when we talk about more of it later and as always be sure to stay you and stay true
4340.719 i love you [Music]
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