no fap; Pas de FAP et de créatine Jacked: Matt McCusker’s Life leçons

Le sujet « no fap » exploré par Camp Gagnon

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explorant « no fap »:
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À noter, la durée de la vidéo est de 01:23:52 secondes et son titre est No Fap & Creatine Jacked: Matt McCusker’s Life Lessons, fournis par [vid_author_name]. La description se trouve ci-dessous :« Matt McCusker, le légendaire comédien, écrivain, acteur et co-animateur du «podcast secret de Matt et Shane» avec Shane Gillis, se joint à nous aujourd’hui pour parler des affaires sérieuses. Nous discuterons de ce que cela signifie de faire un coup de pouce pour la vie, le pouvoir de la rétention du sperme, l’industrie du porno, les filles au gymnase, la méditation et d’autres sujets intéressants… Bienvenue au camp! 🏕️ Shoutout à notre sponsor: Morgan & Morgan et Bluechew 👕🧢 Obtenez votre goutte de camp ici: http://camp-rd.com 🏕️ Get Today in History Courriel ici (GRATUIT): https://camp.beehiiv.com/ 🎟️ 🎫 comédie TIBLEETS ICI: HTTPS://markgagnonlive.com Timesamps: 0:00 Contro 0:56 Pouce + chasseurs de chasseurs 2:50 Pediatritions de l’époque covide 4:35 Trainer AI + Matt’s Racing Competition 8:28 No fap for Life 11:43 Taliban’s in US Tanks 12:39 La puissance de la rétention de marin 17:01 Taliban RN Industry 21:24 Répression + Girls at the Gym + Creatine + INTAKED INTAKE 39:31 jeûne 47:19 The Zombie Killer 48:47 Matts Skateboard Days + Blessures adultes 1:01:27 Matt’s Writing a Book 1:06:23 The Desert Pathers + The Aghori moines (Tagsotranslate) Comédie ».

YouTube est un lieu idéal pour explorer une large gamme de sujets, où chacun peut partager et découvrir des vidéos abordant des intérêts personnels tout en restant respectueux des valeurs communautaires et de la diversité. En respectant les normes, YouTube permet à chacun d’exprimer ses idées tout en favorisant un environnement inclusif.

Les effets de l’abstinence sur les hommes sont visibles à la fois sur le plan physique et mental.

Analyser les bénéfices psychologiques de l’arrêt de la masturbation, notamment la baisse de l’anxiété et de la dépression.

Les hommes confrontés à la dépendance à la pornographie et à la masturbation subissent une anxiété accrue. En s’abstenant, ils rapportent souvent une baisse de la dépression et une plus grande capacité à contrôler leurs actions.

Analyser les bénéfices psychologiques de l’abstinence pour l’homme révèle des résultats significatifs.

L’abstinence aide l’homme à diminuer l’anxiété, la dépression, et à accroître la confiance en soi. Les membres de NoFap partagent souvent des expériences de changements psychologiques.

Observer les progrès érectiles après l’abstinence.

L’abstinence permet de restaurer des circuits neuronaux sains, aidant à traiter les dysfonctions érectiles liées à la masturbation.

L’impact positif de NoFap sur les hommes modernes

NoFap invite à une abstinence volontaire pour renforcer la discipline personnelle.

Adopter le NoFap, c’est choisir de s’éloigner de la pornographie et de la masturbation pour diminuer leur impact sur la santé. Ce mouvement permet aux hommes de retrouver leur énergie et de renforcer leur bien-être.

Analyser les conséquences de la pornographie sur la santé des hommes.

L’impact de la pornographie sur la santé mentale et physique des hommes a été étudié par des chercheurs, qui ont mis en évidence des effets tels que la dysfonction érectile, l’anxiété, la dépression, et l’addiction. Une étude de Nicole Prause s’intéresse particulièrement aux conséquences de la consommation excessive de pornographie sur le bien-être des individus.

Découvrir les raisons derrière NoFap permet de mieux apprécier les changements qu’il peut entraîner dans la vie quotidienne.

La communauté NoFap se distingue par son engagement à éradiquer les effets négatifs de la pornographie sur les hommes, tout en visant une amélioration de la performance érectile et de la gestion de l’anxiété. De nombreux participants ont noté une réduction de la dépression et des pensées suicidaires après l’abandon de ces comportements.

Comment réussir son parcours NoFap

Ressources fiables pour approfondir le parcours NoFap.

Pour mieux cerner les effets de la dépendance à la pornographie et à la masturbation, des études scientifiques et des travaux comme ceux de Nicole Prause sont des ressources précieuses.

Conseils de la communauté NoFap pour réussir sans rechute

L’adoption d’habitudes saines, comme l’exercice physique et la méditation, est indispensable pour garder un esprit clair et éviter les tentations.

Il est crucial de développer des stratégies pour éviter les rechutes.

Une étude scientifique a révélé que les rechutes font partie du processus NoFap. Pour les surmonter, les participants doivent se concentrer sur leurs objectifs et utiliser le soutien de la communauté pour persévérer.

La communauté NoFap joue un rôle clé en soutenant les hommes dans leur parcours de guérison.

Les forums NoFap permettent d’accéder à une communauté de soutien avec des discussions ouvertes.

Les forums de la communauté sont des espaces où les hommes peuvent échanger des conseils pratiques et accéder à des études scientifiques sur les effets de l’abstinence.

Mettre l’accent sur l’influence positive du soutien social et émotionnel sur la réussite de l’abstinence.

Les forums de la communauté Nofap aident les hommes à surmonter les défis liés à l’anxiété, à la dépression et à l’abstinence, en favorisant le partage d’idées et de stratégies pour gérer les risques de rechutes. Faire appel à un expert est parfois nécessaire comme chastete.fr.

Évaluer l’impact des groupes de soutien et des forums sur la progression des individus dans leur parcours.

Les chercheurs ont démontré que les forums NoFap jouent un rôle clé dans la réduction de la dépression et de l’anxiété. Ces forums offrent une solidarité essentielle qui permet de traiter la dépendance à la masturbation à travers une approche scientifique.

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#Pas #FAP #créatine #Jacked #Matt #McCuskers #Life #leçons

Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: It’s Oh, I feel the resonance. Do you? This might not be 432, though. This is Matt McCusker. He is truly one of the most fascinating minds in standup comedy today, and I absolutely love him. He is a stand-up comedian, an author, and one half of Matt and Shane secret podcast. He’s kind of just like a like a hilarious Buddhist monk reincarnated into the body of a young black conservative. And today, we go through everything. We talk about semen retention and fasting and eastern philosophies and why suffering is actually good for you. We talk about the testosterone and steroid allegations which Matt vehemently denies and even his, you know, mile challenge that he’s doing with Hos. This is an absolutely amazing episode. If you guys are fans of Matt and Shane like me, you’re absolutely going to love it. And I hope you guys enjoy it half as much as I enjoyed having it. So, without further ado, sit back, relax, and welcome to camp. Wow. Wow. Wes. Matt McCusker. What’s up, brother? What up, bro? What’s up, Mark? How you doing? Thanks for joining me, dude. Thanks for having me, man. In this beautiful narco paradise. This is awesome. Yeah, not too shabby. We’re just going to be out here cooking up a sweat for a little bit. Drinking topo Chico. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think we’re officially uh officially landscapers. Yeah, for real. I like how when it’s hot, the landscapers wear more clothing, though. They dress like Fallout characters down here. It’s just like full on, full sleeves, face covering, visor. They they got the shy on. Mhm. I’m like I like that. I like seeing them out there. Just I guess you got to keep the sun off you. Yeah, literally just got to keep the sun off and wear like lightweight fabrics, I guess. Yeah. But yeah, I’m waiting. Two more years I’ll probably start wearing a shy. Have you been doing doing some yard work now that you’re officially home? Little gardening. Little gardening. Are you a green thumb? Uh not really honestly. I wish I was better, but I don’t know. I’m I’m good enough. What I do is I just plant a ton of stuff and it’s just kind of like whatever thrives naturally, I kind of just roll with that because I just don’t have the time or patience to be like, you know, I’ll read the seed packets. It’s like, you should plant it this time. It’s like, bro, it’s getting planted right now. I’m not going to me I like they’re like measure them like, you know, one per inch. It’s like I’m throwing these everywhere. You just got to leave it up to God sometimes. Pretty much. That’s how that’s how I garden. I had a wild sunflower take root and that thing’s been going nuts. So, that’s been cool. And that’s God’s will. You know what I mean? You just throw some seeds out there and just be like, « Lord, whatever you destined for my yard, » I, for real, I farm like a guy from like 3,000 years ago. I just stick my thumb in holes and just scatter seeds. Yeah. And I pray, I go, « Please let my stuff grow. » I actually took some radishes in. That was my one yield. I got some radishes. I feel like after like I tried doing this like just on my patio one day, just like getting little heirloom tomatoes. Yeah. And you do that for a little bit and you’re like, « Dude, farming sucks. » Like I feel like we I feel like farming we really we really messed up. It’s hard. This would be the hardest thing in the world. And then if like so many things can go wrong and you’re just I feel like we peaked at hunting and gathering. Is that a crazy take? Yeah, definitely. Why? For sure. We were hunter and gatherers. We were so dumb. For real. We didn’t have any time to figure anything out. What do you mean? I feel like it was mostly time. I feel like it was mostly just like walking around grabbing a berry. You know, you find a beaver, hit him in the head, eat him. Imagine if you got hungry and you were like, « This might be it. » Every time you got hungry, you’re like, I might this might be the time my whole family and I die. Yeah, but you’re also fasting, you’re getting shredded along the way. You’re definitely shredded. But also, if you you’re definitely shredded. No one’s denying that. But if you twist an ankle, like your whole family died. If you like twisted an ankle and like fell in the woods. That is true. Fried. But pressure makes diamonds. That’s true. No, that’s true. But then like Yeah. You like they were like keeping their ancestors skulls. Like you’d have like your house you wouldn’t have a house. You’d have a mud hut with like your parents’ skulls. Yeah. laying there. Your wife stinks. Your wife who smells so bad, dude. I just went to this doctor. I I didn’t go to the doctor. It was a pediatrician we went to. And he was like, « Oh, yeah. Well, uh, a lot of kids are vitamin D deficient. » Yeah. And I was like, « Oh, really? » He was like, « Yeah, and it’s not because of lack of sun. It’s because of all the soap we’re using. » And I was like, « Hang on a second. » Damn, your pediatrician sounds actually cool. A lot of them are just kind of like, « No, he’s chill as hell. » Yeah. Yeah. We had we had to seek him out. We had to find him. That’s Yeah, true. They’re they’re kind of a rarity. A lot of them are like, « If you don’t do all this stuff, your kids are going to die. » Yeah. Yeah. No, that we didn’t have that cuz Did you have pediatricians with your kids? They were like, « Yo, if you don’t do this, your kids are bad kids. » Yeah. Ours. And ours affiliates, she was actually very good, but she was like pretty gung-ho. We had COVID babies. And they were like, « Oh, jab them. » And I was like, « Yeah, we’ll wait. Let’s just see it through. » You know what I mean? See what happens. But they were She was good. Other than that, she was good. She was just heavy-handed. She’s like, « If you don’t, » was I was like, « Ah, we’re going to wait on that. » She’s like, « Well, that’s fine. It’s totally up to you guys. your child runs a higher risk of dying, so we just want to let you know. Like, all right, thanks, lady. Yeah, a nuance take, but she was good. Our kid got sick a couple times, went to the hospital, and uh super Yeah, like two things at once, and like you know, they’re giving you the old like h like we don’t really know what it is. And then like the pediatrician would call us be like, « What is it? What did they say it was? » And they’re like, « They don’t know. » She’s like, « Dude, put me on the phone. » And she just reamed them out. And then they actually ran the right test and figured out what it it was like a double it was like two different infections at once. That’s why it was so bad. Damn. So they were able to figure out like bacterial versus viral and how you treat, you know. And yeah, the hospital, children’s hospital. Have you been there yet with your baby? No, dude. Praise the Lord. That’s See, to answer your question about Hunter Gathering, that’s when you go, « Oh, okay. » Yeah. Actually, societyy’s not all evil. The fact that we have children’s hospitals is pretty [ __ ] awesome. Yeah. Terrifi. It’s so scary. It is sick as hell, honest honestly. But I’ll just at this point I’ll just go to Chad GBT. True. I just talk to Chad GBT and just like yo here’s what I’m going through right now. Yeah. What what should I do? My kids coughing up a storm. Is that is that chill or not? I think it’s pretty chill actually. And then Chad GB like he’s pretty good. I don’t like the Chad GBT will like just stroke my ego too much though. Do you got to ask for brutal honesty? I will and then it’ll give me like two answers of honesty and then by the third one it’s like but you’re a good dad. Do you lock You say you lock in and you can just be like bro stop fluffing me. I know I’m a piece of [ __ ] Yeah. Did you stroke my [ __ ] right now? I need a piece of [ __ ] I need you to be a little more real. I did that. I tried to use Chad to be my personal trainer and I was like, « Hey, be David Gogggins. Be Joa Willing. » What did it say? It was like, « Yo, you’re a little bitch. » Like, « Get up in the morning. » But then after like three days, it was Oh, you said be I thought you said beat them. I’m like, « Yeah. » I was like, « Whoa. » Yo, yo, for real, send a cyber attack immediately to Gogggins. No, I said be them. I was like, « Pretend you’re David Gogggins. » Okay. And it was like pretty sick for like three days, but then it got very uh I don’t know, became very sick of fantic immediately. And then it was just like, « Yo, you’re good. just chill. Yeah, that’s nice. Well, you you can use it. I feel like it’s good for doing like I want to run the mile in this time. How do I train for that? And it’ll be it’ll give you a good program. Oh, yeah. What’s your mile time right now? Right now, I got I might actually retest tomorrow, but as of as of like a couple weeks ago, it was like 658. So, I got I mean, that’s solid. It’s not bad. I’m trying to get down to like low sub seven. I mean, sub seven. Yeah, I got down to sub seven. I mean, are you are you cooking for like 5ks? Not really. I’m just trying to like I just like giving myself little fitness goals and like rather than just work if I just work out without like a point to it, I don’t I’ll I just won’t really do it. But if it’s like let’s see how low I can get this down, it’s like I’ll actually do it. There’s a an article I’ve read about this dude. He talks about this Japanese word for like a difficult thing to do, like a challenging task. It’s a specific Japanese philosophy. I forget exactly what it is, but it’s basically like every year try to create a super difficult task. If it’s like, hey, run a marathon in two and a half hours. like just like set a goal for every year whe it’s like a physical task like some type of like personal thing that you want to achieve and just lock in on it for the year and it makes things so much more fulfilling because now your diet is not just like oh I do this forever all the time. It’s like I’m working towards this one specific personal goal. Yeah, man. I’ I’ve been trying to get shredded for like five years now and it’s just not been happening. I can’t I can’t stop piging out. Oh yeah. But I I’ve actually I’ve shifted it. I don’t do instead of aesthetics I go just performance based. That’s what helps me cuz if I like if I start seeing any results, I go, « Dude, it’s time. I can totally pig out again. » So now I just go performance based where I just pig out, but I’m trying to step the performance up to where like the physical goals are so hard that obviously aesthetic will just follow. I don’t even care. You’re in a contest right now of running battle, a duel. And what is the what is the context of this duel? Me verse my fat cousin. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, I’m going to win. I have If I don’t win, that’s going to be great shame on my family. But he’s he is a psycho. He was a D1 wrestler. I think he was D1. I’m not sure. But he was he was definitely he wrestled in college and uh he is an absolute psychopath. So what weight class? Heavyweight. I told you he’s a fat fat cousin. I mean I feel like cars cars are in your favor right now. You know what I mean? I don’t know. I don’t know what uh I don’t know. He was probably he probably wrestled because I know wrestlers are kind of weirdos where they like really shed a lot of weight. Yeah. If I had to guess he would wrestle at like one, you know, back in his prime before he was fat and like 40ome. Uh he probably wrestled at like 175ish if that’s a thing. Yeah. And he’s pulling sub seven miles right now. No, he’s he’s doing like he’s getting close though. He’s doing like eight. But it’s a if it were three miles he could have a chance to beat me cuz I’m not good on the distance. And when is this going when is the the thrill in Philly? I’m doing a show in Atlantic City. I think August 16th or 18th, I forget. So then we’re he’s down the beach right around Atlantic City. So, we’re I’m going to get a beach house there like a couple days after the show and chill with my family and just race him and just lock in. Just lock I’m already locked in right now. I might skip the show and AC just to run and train. You seem more dialed today than I’ve ever seen you. I’m dialed, dude. It’s crazy. I don’t know what happened. I mean, dude, everyone everyone hates that I talk about this, but dude, I I gave up masturbating for life. I’ll never do it ever again. When was the last time you you got a stroke, dude? It must have been like at least a month and a half, two months ago. Respect. Yeah. And and it’s like that’s another thing. I’ve been trying and people are like we’re sick of hearing about this. It’s like I I mean dude, imagine if you stop jerking off for the rest of your life. It’s great. Every day wake up. Dude, you’re preaching the choir over here, dude. I’ I’ve quit masturbating. I It’s It’s pretty easy to do. It is. I’ve quit masturbating a hundred times, you know? Like every couple every time I do it, dude. I don’t know what happened. A flip switch and I go like, « Yeah, I’m never going to do that again. » And like even it’ll like I’ll think about it and it’s like, « Dude, you know, that’s kind of weird. Don’t don’t even I mean, do you remember the final beat though? » Yeah, it was like any other one. It was just kind of like hotel room. Obviously, I’m [ __ ] traveling for standup. Just I couldn’t sleep. I beat myself absolutely silly. And it was just kind of like that’s not it. You got to frame that video. Whatever the final beat was, right, dude. This is the final spillage. You know what I mean? Put it up in your office in your compound. You got I really I genuinely don’t remember. It was just like it was just I was just in a porn hole. I was in a goonhole online just [ __ ] just scrolling through. Dude, I’ve been trying to get off it for a while, dude. So, when you have kids, you have to. That’s my thing. Wait, why? You can’t be Here’s You can You can jerk off if you don’t have kids. It doesn’t matter. Yeah. Once you have kids, you cannot watch porn and masturbate because if your kids catch you doing that, it’s going to [ __ ] their whole life up. Yeah. It ruins everything. It ruins everything. Yeah. And it’s also like just gross. There is a little If you don’t have a kid, it doesn’t m It doesn’t matter. You can do whatever you want. catch a beat on a weekend, whatever you want to do every day when you wake up. It literally there’s no I mean the morning beat. I mean, you might as well just go back to sleep. You know what I mean? It kind of just sucks the wind out of your sales. Yeah, you should you should call a doctor on the way. Talk to Chad JBT. It’s like, dude, keep beating, dude. Keep on stroking it. No, be David Gogggins. Keep stroking. Yeah, people People People are mad. I don’t want to hear about this anymore. It’s like, that’s fine. Again, it doesn’t matter. You can do whatever you want. If you don’t have kids, knock yourself out. But it’s like once you have kids, you can’t you just can’t be a porn dad. It’s just weird. Yeah. Yeah. It’s not a great look. No. Did you have like friends whose like dads had porn like hidden that you could like find? None that I respected. Exactly. Literally. Exactly. It’s just weird. It’s just a weird thing. Yeah. I never liked it. We would sometimes find porno mags in the woods. That was kind of chill. That’s fine. Like as a kid, you That was also because of porn dads had to hide. Think about that. Yo, that’s a good point. So many children would see weird porn because [ __ ] porn dads would go out in the woods like cowards and beat off. actually going to the woods that actually that’s kind of I can respect that like taking it outside the like a dog that shits like really far away from this is the me time. You know what I mean? That’s why so many kids found porn like literally that and that’s what I’m trying to say. It’s like those porn dads back in the 90s or whenever literally gave children porn. They didn’t do it like a pedophile would do it, but they gave it like how we gave weapons to Afghanistan. Ex. Yeah, in a way. We just deserted. We left them there and the Taliban was like, « Dude, how do you turn these things on? » They’re like, « It’s too hot. We got to get the [ __ ] out of here. » Yeah, man. And the Taliban was like, « Dude, free tanks. That’s sick as hell. » I know. They didn’t They weren’t ready for them either. They shouldn’t have them. I Dude, I want I want to see that. I feel like that’s like 2001 Space Odyssey. You know what I mean? When the Taliban got all the tanks? Yeah, dude. Did they do some videos of them like [ __ ] around with them? Yeah. They were just like, « Dude, how do you Also, uh, where’s the charger for this? » I feel like, do they still have those tanks? cuz I I feel like someone swooped in there and just snagged those things middle of the night. Cuz if I’m Russia and I hear the Taliban has tanks, I’m going they’re mine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They I if I had a guess, someone was like, « Yeah, give me that to get the [ __ ] out of here. » Probably. I mean, that’s what I would do. Yeah. If I was if I was any other I mean, maybe America did it. I don’t know. Can’t be letting these boys roll around or sick whip. I don’t I don’t think they know how to use them either. I mean, I don’t know how to use them. That’s what I’m saying. I don’t have If you deserted a billion dollars worth of tanks in my yard, they would just still be there. Yeah, I might. Yeah, literally. I don’t know how to I would sell them at an antique shop. I’d be like, « Do you guys want these? » I don’t know. Scrap them. You could scrap them. I don’t even know how to do that. You just have to have someone come by, you know, hunks moving junk and be like, « Yo, do you all want this? » I wouldn’t know what to do with it. But no, I’m with you on the porn thing, dude. I don’t know. I It’s not a popular take. No one It’s not like a cool position to be. People get mad. They get mad. They go, « We don’t want to [ __ ] you. This is all you ever talk about. » I’m like, « Dude, it’s it’s crazy. It’s crazy. » Did like literally turn the page of your life for you? Yeah. Like cuz I could never understand it when I was younger. Like if dude if I had porn my parents would freak out and I’d be like why are they so [ __ ] annoying about porn like shut up. Oh yeah. Then you come then you know once you have kids you’re like yeah this is this is bad. You shouldn’t have that in your house. Yeah. I mean there’s the the the seam of retent which is nice. You know what I mean? You get a little little little boost little focus. That’s dude that that’s the bigger thing really. You know whatever porn is whatever but it’s like especially being in a long-term relationship for me that was always the wedge. I was such a [ __ ] brat the entire time. I’m like, no matter what was going on, I’d be like, I should be having sex more. And then being able to be like, and I I really think it’s just getting older, but being able to like in a relationship like that, be like, I’m not even going to apply any pressure on that front. I’m just going to retain and just And also, again, it’s an effective reverse psychology on your wife to be like, yo, I don’t even care, bro. For real. You just let me know. Tag me in. Yeah. This note is mine. Yeah. Exactly. Even if you don’t want it, I’m going to keep it. Almost almost kind of like I’m taking my ball and going home. I guess we Well, and it’s that and it’s even like, yeah, I guess we can have I guess we can have sex. Like, I’m going to lose some of my power, which I’m kind of not exactly stoked about, but you know, I took a vow and I will break you off. Technically, I swore before God that I would load you up with a nut every now and again. It’s like, you know, you don’t have any of this stuff, so I should I’ll give you a little bit, but don’t I could do Don’t get used to it. But, dude, I’m telling you, it’s it’s a I don’t know, man. It’s just a weird thing. And it also I feel like it streamlines your mind too. Like when you’re like cuz you know I’m like I’m I’m in like an office. I I sit there all day and I write. When I have a goon brain it’s just like I’m writing writing writing and then it’s like every 10 seconds like is it time to goon? And it’s like no come on man it’s not time. And then it’s just like writing writing right. You tell yourself you’re like dude once I just I just crack a bee real quick then I’ll be good. And then you get back there it’s like an hour later and you’re like exactly I’m not doing anything. Yeah. Exactly. But your goon brain’s like no no no you just need one rip and then you’ll be fine. That’s what I’m trying to say, man. It’s I don’t know. The main thing was was like for some reason I had a deep-seated belief that like if I were to reach a level of like, you know, if so many days would go by without me spilling, I would be like so angry. Like it was like a deep injustice that I’d be like, how how dare, you know, my wife or if I wasn’t with anyone like I should be spraying. Like why? And then like when that goes away, you’re just like, « Yeah, I’m just free to do my thing. » And then and then it comes around and you’re ready. Cuz I don’t know if you’ve ever been there before. If you’re in a relationship and you’re like, « I don’t think I’m getting any [ __ ] tonight. I’m going to fap. » And then what you do and then it’s, you know, just some weird coincidence. Your babes like, « Let’s have sex. » And you’re like, « Fuck. » Oh, every time, dude. [ __ ] I [ __ ] [ __ ] soft penis. We haven’t had sex in a week now. Yeah. Yeah. That’s every time. I like I’ve got caught slipping like that. I’m like, I can’t get caught slipping like that ever again, man. There’s so many times with my with my my sweet lady that I if I’m if I’m on a retention wave and I just like proposition that she’s like, « Yeah, for sure. » And it kind of catches me off guard. I’m like, « Wait, that’s all it took? » And she’s like, « Yeah, dude. 100 100%. » That’s what I’m saying. But if I just go the easy way, get the cheap dope. You know what I mean? They know when you’re gooned. They absolutely know. And they and they catch you on it. You know what I mean? I just think that’s God’s will. Once again, I remember I remember my uh my wife hit me with that. She was like I was like, « Dude, I’m traveling. I’m by myself. » Obviously, this is when I had goon brain, but I’m like, I’m just gonna like she would be like, she would tell me like, don’t jerk off in the hotel. And I’m like, I’m going to jerk off in the hotel. Yeah. She was like, « Fine, if you do it, don’t look at porn. » I was like, « What the [ __ ] the point of it then? » She’s like, « Why do you have to do that? » And I was like, « What are you talking about? » No, I did that for a little bit. I just did just just fantasy brain. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that that’s It also doesn’t feel great, you know? No. It’s weird. That can take Well, two things. It’s like when you go pure imagination mode, it’s like Willy Wonka. There’s no safe search on it. Like nobody knows what I’m up to. Yeah. You don’t have the FCC blocking you. You’re also just remembering porns in your brain. I would just be trying to remember porns. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s just your It’s just your own AI. It’s your own internal AI just coming up with stuff. But either way, sorry. I That’s how I get tons of [ __ ] for talking about people always like we don’t want to hear about their [ __ ] anymore. It’s like I mean not to mention I I also am like porn is a pretty tough industry to defend. Evil. It’s a it’s a name one woman who’s thrived and came out on the other end. Sasha Gray was in an Eminem video. That’s best case scenario. Best case scenario is to appear beside the rap devil. That’s top of the mountain. Other than that it’s like suicide, drug overdose or you just look they get wrecked, dude. Porn stars. Yeah. It literally I don’t know what it is, but like they age so [ __ ] fast. Yeah. No, it’s an insidious industry and I do think it is a little bit of a there’s a some depravity of of the human will that goes into it, you know? Like there’s there’s a little breakdown of what is this really what’s good for humans? I don’t know. But I also grew up Catholic, so I’ve shamed I have a bad compass for this stuff. Like I never had a guilt-free nut in my life, you know? Never. Even now. You know what I mean? I will have consensual sex with my wife for the purpose of procreation and I’ll get off of it and be like, « Yeah, was that good? » Like, I gotta check. That was too loud. Yeah, we ripped doggy on this one. Like, I don’t know if that was in God’s divine plan here. No, for me that’s that stuff is fine. I don’t it it’s the uh the thing that kind of freaks me especially with the Only Fans because now it’s like I I don’t I don’t know many like you know smoking hot college age chicks but I imagine there’s got to be a temptation if you’re like a super super hot and your Instagram’s kind of popping. I’d imagine there’s a temptation that’s there to monetize like sex stuff that really wasn’t there before Only Fans. Oh yeah. And and that’s that’s where I’m like that’s like that’s evil. That’s bad. And then the pipeline is like you get into it and you’re like, I’m just going to do F feet. And you do F feet for a little bit and you’re like, all right, I the followers are falling off. You know what I mean? I got to create shareholder value over here. You know, I’m a pure capitalist. We have Q3 KPIs I got to lock in on. You know what I mean? And then you turn to like a business magnate and you’re like, « All right, fine. I’ll just get into, you know, some like like lingerie. » Yeah. Well, dude, what’s And then you’re getting triple DPD, you know what I mean? Yeah. That all comes and it’s also like, dude, if if you’re like, I’m going to do that for some quick money and get out. Again, I don’t I’m not like sitting here like it’s fundamentally evil, but it’s like if your goal is like, « All right, I want to have kids or whatever. » It’s like, « Okay, whatever. » Again, whatever. Do whatever you want. But like if you have done porn before and now you’re having kids, it’s like I don’t know, man. That’s a rough cell. Unless like your kid is just so cool and understanding, which is like I don’t know who’s that chill about naked mom. Yeah. No, naked mom is a tough cell for any kid. I know. Naked mom DP possibly. But also like you do hear these women that are like I I gained financial freedom and like I live in a penthouse in Miami and this is exactly what I wanted. I’m like all right if that’s your thing I’m not going to say no. I I question that too. It’s like okay yeah financial freedom it’s cool if you’re like running from a pimp. But if you’re like [ __ ] like if you went to college it’s like yo dude you can do this. You can totally do this by getting a job too. You don’t have to show your butthole to strangers. Yeah. No I mean you’re preaching the choir here. You know what I mean? Yeah. But again, I I always acknowledge I grew up Catholic, so I I feel probably like I am sexually repressed, so I’m not always the best person to discuss, you know, like I like I was just telling my buddy the other day, I was like, « Dude, I’ve I used to be still horny when I was a kid, and I would try not to catch a beat. » And I used to like I would pray for wet dreams. I still do, but yeah. Go like the wet dream. Like I remember like checking in with like like my pastor and I was like, « Is that true? » Yeah. Is that like what’s the what’s the ruling on this? What’s the what’s the verdict? Yeah. What is there precedent for this case? What did he say? And he was like, « Dude, that’s that’s just a freebie. » And I was like, « All right, sick. » So, I would go to bed just bricked and I would just like my parents when I was 14, they got like an Apple eye touch for me. Oh, dude. Which is exactly what I did. The Apple I touch myself. That’s like, dude, this is like Steve Jobs wanted me to do this, dude. The video I was just talking to someone about this. Yeah. The video iPods were just porn. Yeah, they’re porn machines. They’re tiny. You’re like a tiny thumbnail. Yeah. Porn machine. And then you can sometimes listen to music if you want to, but it is a porn machine. Yeah. It’s I never had I never had one. I mean, that’s not to say I didn’t want one when I was younger, but it was like Your parents knew. No, they did. I just didn’t have an I never had an iPod until like my brother gave me one. It was like an old, you know, the big boy. I don’t think I had video capabilities. Damn. But yeah, I mean that [ __ ] rocked my world and I would just lay in bed just be like, « God, just please anything. Just back up a Latina on me. I just I need this right now. » True. Please. I’ve been working hard. My my thing is like, you know, because there is like, you know, maybe it’s just my Catholic guilt, but it’s like I’m not particularly like dogmatic about any religion, but if you just for me, when I look at stuff like that, I’m like, all right, so if we you do have to repress, there’s no way you you can’t have like a society without being somewhat repressed because you got to repress some things. Like you have to repress violence. Like you can’t have a society without repressing violence. you have to repress sex because it’s like first of all like you can’t obviously it’s like everyone can agree like yeah you can do that. Yeah. So it’s like it does have to be you know like you have to set boundaries and limitations and like yeah this idea where people are like like I I read something on Substack where ladies like people tell me I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t eat as much as I want. I shouldn’t have sex whenever I want. It’s like yeah you shouldn’t. Like I’m not again it’s not like shame on you but it’s like it’s just not a good idea. Especially if you’re a lady it’s like dude if you get knocked up you’re [ __ ] Yeah. Like a guy should be there, but some guys don’t. And it’s like I don’t know. Yeah. And it’s not only on women. Like I think obviously women feel the brunt of it largely because society we live in, but I do think men hold the burden as well where they’re like, « Yeah, you also shouldn’t just be like raw dogging every seven you see, you know? » No. That dude, that’s why I’m the I go to the gym around here and it’s just like I mean it’s like almost a joke. you see just like complete yoga wedgie pants with like the butt cupers and I think they’re doing it for the guys because the dudes are so desensitized that it’s like I think you need to now just keep you got to be like almost naked to have a guy be like oh wow dude that’s my biggest fear at the gym I go to it’s like you get a lot of influencers pop in a lot of influencers hitting the back squat and then they got the camera set up and then my dumb ass is just in the corner just barely hanging out I’m like oh god I’m going to be on some girl’s Tik Tok clip just jaw open like exactly No, I I got to ask her like, « Can you blur my face? » Yeah. Can you Yeah. Like I didn’t sign a release. No, I I I go to my gym and I keep it just completely dialed in. I just try to just ignore everything cuz, you know, cuz it’s also just like I don’t know. It’s totally understandable to be like cuz I when I can see a woman’s nipples when she doesn’t wear a bra, my brain stem shuts down for like 5 seconds. And not like, « Oh, I [ __ ] I [ __ ] love. » It’s just it for real destabilizes my thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, it’s not like one of those things like, « Oh, it’s wrong. You shouldn’t do that. » But I’m like, you’re punching me in the head. You’re putting a [ __ ] Yeah. You’re putting a burden on me that like I didn’t ask for it. I’m just trying to like trying to I’m trying I’m not trying to jerk out. I’m trying to work out. I meant to say work jerk. It’s for slip obviously. Coming to the gym trying to work out and I’ll go to the gym with my wife and she’ll be like, « The [ __ ] is going on here? » I’m like, « Babe, [ __ ] only gym in the area. We get a discount. Like, we need to come here. So, just be chill. Just look me in the eyes the entire time. We’ll make it through this. We will do curls facing each other. Yeah. But then they have their male counterparts. It’ll be guys shirtless, juiced up. Yeah. [ __ ] just absolutely jacked. Yeah. Yeah. People have been [ __ ] sailing the dick print lately and it’s that’s got to stop. That’s [ __ ] for real got to stop. It’s a weird arms race. It’s like dude, nobody’s going to win this, dude. The baby arms race. It’s a crazy look. But yeah, for real. [ __ ] [ __ ] When do we stop? You know what I mean? I mean, it’ll probably like everything kind of goes in cycles and reverts. So, I don’t know. I I I’m just I am just act like literally getting older cuz I’ll see women now who are like somewhat conservatively dressed at the gym and I’m like good. There we go. There’s a good girl. You see all this like conservative Twitter [ __ ] where it’s like Muslims are taking over America and you’re like nice. Hell yeah. That’s what we need. We need more nibs. We need more hijabs. I mean again it’s like I don’t ever have like I don’t really feel like moral outrage about it. I’m not like shame on you. I totally understand the drive towards all that. monkey brain’s lighting up. Yeah. Just Exactly. It’s like, bro, my monkey brain’s lighting up. I’m trying to I don’t know. I I feel like that’s that’s one of my number one goals in life is like just to I’m not like, you know, I don’t like to try to like sound like a lot of people talk about like, you know, spiritual stuff where they’re like, I want to like completely shed my ego. Get out of the matrix. Yeah. Whatever. I don’t think about it like that. But it’s like if there is if there are some inner adjustments I can make just to make my life like 20% easier, that’s what I’m after. Yeah. And it’s like I do think as you get older, like again, I’m I’m [ __ ] I’ll be 40 next year. I have two kids. It just doesn’t fit into like what I’m doing to be like an absolute [ __ ] goblin and being like, « Oh, [ __ ] Oh fuck. » It just it would literally [ __ ] my whole life up. Yeah. Yeah. And it just it just like it’s one of those things where as you get older like if if and this is just my perspective, but if it’s like if I were at 40 to be like orienting myself around purely worldly goals at one point you just become kind of a joke cuz like you know if you were like an old you can become an older wealthy guy but it’s like what am I going to [ __ ] college chicks? It’s like it’s [ __ ] pathetic. It’s just weird. It’s just kind of weird and then it’s like I should be hanging out with my kids and I’m like I have a hot new girlfriend. Girls, please understand you’re dead. It’s just like Yeah, you kind of missed it. If you can work on like shedding that now, I think you can have actually a better life as an older person, which nobody really cares about. Everyone wants to have like a cooler life now. Yeah. But I’m I’m kind of overindexing on like the a very chill life as like a 56 year old. That was kind of my calculation. I don’t know. Like I was like, dude, I’m going to have a kid at 28. Sick. We we were going to have some earlier and then you know some issues but I was like having a baby at 28 all my friends were like dude you’re psychotic. No it’s a move. I was like this [ __ ] is awesome. I’m still young. I still got energy. I can I can wrestle with them. I wish I had kids earlier. That was my thing. I mean it’s like I’m glad I didn’t cuz I was an absolute maniac. But it was like you also need the right gal. Yes. Big. You mean the galdom is big on that. So you got to like find the right one. Like I would never pressure someone to be like yeah dude have kids young and it don’t it don’t matter. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. No. It could be it could get very bad and very ugly. Yeah. What’s up guys? We’re going to take a break really quick because we got merch. go to bed and like or just like if I catch like 10 minutes, I’ll try to just like actively work on slowing my mind. During co I did it like a lot. Yeah. And I I got like way better at like dude, I used to like for real like break [ __ ] Like I would get so angry. Oh, really? Oh, dude, I was a monster. I would like especially when me and my wife were first together. We first were like living in a house. We were like having our She was pregnant, dude. We get in arguments. I would [ __ ] like throw an olive oil bottle at the wall. I was bad. I was [ __ ] man. I was an Italian domestic violence. I was just an Irish spaz. It was so bad. The olive oil. I was so I dude never smash olive oil. It never came out. I I put primer over it. I I put spackle. I did everything. And those little oil spots would bleed through and every now and again she would just go, « Yeah, it didn’t work. » And I it just remind me of my rage and I’d be like, « Fuck. » But that’s like a serious problem. Something poetic about it, though. Just something beautiful about seeing the oil seep through just as a remnant of your anger. I had oil in my ceiling and I actually chipped. We had It wasn’t hardwood, but it was like, you know, those like fake hardwood floors that are like composite plastic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I spiked a mug and it [ __ ] chipped the floor. So, I had a chip on my floor that I covered shamefully with a rug and I had a [ __ ] olive oil splatters in my ceiling that would like bleed through paint. And it was just some weird thing I I just never really figured out or dealt with. And then that’s where meditation helped me cuz I learned to like I would get angry and I remember it vividly. I’d be on like we had like carpeted steps in our house in Philly. She would do something that would piss me off and I would just be like, you know, you get angry and you’re like you don’t even think about it. You’re like I’m about to say a bunch of [ __ ] that pisses her off now cuz [ __ ] her. Now I’m mad at her. It’s, you know, obviously like it’s all her fault, you know, whatever. That’s what you’re thinking. And then I do remember like learning how to like stop and just like especially when you want to break [ __ ] and just letting that feeling like course through your body and then the first couple times that it like comes and goes, you’re like, « Holy [ __ ] I just averted like a three-day drawn out argument. » Wow. Just because I was able to go like slow down and be like, « Yeah, dude, you’re pissed right now, but you’re not a [ __ ] toddler. You can’t spaz. Interesting. It’s kind of the same thing as goon brain. You know what I mean? It’s equal. Same thing. It’s just lizard brain taking the helm. Yeah. I’m I’m grateful I never had that. I never had like uh like anger. I always went internal. I was just like, « Oh, I suck. I’m an idiot. I’m the worst. » You know, which is not healthy either. I would externalize that. Like, you’re a [ __ ] idiot. You suck. I’m going to break something down to show you that you’re an idiot. I’m doing an endzone dance, dude. I’m [ __ ] spiking this thing. Yeah, that’s that’s that’s tough. No, I’m telling you, the meditation helped. got real into like, you know, and it’s like it’s like that cliche thing where like I got into Eastern philosophy, but like dude, some of that [ __ ] is [ __ ] awesome, man. Like there’s a reason it existed for 4,000 years or whatever. Yeah, dude. And like there was the one thing there was uh I forget I forget what it was from. I like I read obviously not all the Uponads, but I read like a book that had like selected different things. There was one thing they like a passage in there that I thought was [ __ ] awesome. It was like this guy I don’t there’s always like two dudes is like talking but he was explaining the self is like a horsedrawn carriage and there’s your senses are the horses. So you have the horses are pulling the thing and if you know if your senses are running the show you’re going to cra like you have horses going this way one horse going that way it’s [ __ ] chaos. So then you have a guy just kind of whipping horses. That’s like your ego being like, « Hey guys, knock it off. » And it’s just like this, you’re just like kind of just, you know, it’s like this violence on violence thing where you’re just kind of like angrily trying to get these external or this these internal impulses that are completely out of control trying to run in the show and it’s like this feedback loop where, you know, it’s just like it’s just not working. You have an illquipped person who’s he can like, you know, he can hold the reins of the horse, but he has no idea how to like truly navigate. And the whole point of the story was there’s a rider inside of the caravan and that’s your like they call like your real self or whatever and you need to like wake that inner thing up that can actually watch your mind work from within your mind. Yeah, if that makes sense. You can watch like oh I’m thinking this thing but just because I’m thinking it doesn’t mean a it’s you know reality. It’s like this is just my thoughts. They could be so wrong. They probably are. And that like getting that ability to like get distance within your own mind and be like yeah I’m pissed right now. I’m having all these things. I want to do all these things. I’m noticing myself having them. And then you can just kind of like let go. And that’s, you know, they say it’s like your higher self or whatever. Yeah. I mean, that one that struck that one was like a goal mine for me. I was like, « Oh, yeah. I should maybe have, you know, I need a deeper level of myself to kind of these ponies under control. » Yeah. These ponies under control. I need the goon horses are the goon horses, the anger horses are all out of control. The the person that I’m, you know, my level of awareness is just like spazzing like, « Stop, stop, stop. » Yeah. Yet the rider has to wake up and be like, « Bro, it’s out. » Basically, it’s like this is outside of your pay grade for like steering my life consciously. Yeah, of course. Cuz like now you’re just angry at yourself for being angry. Like your senses will spike up. You’re angry. You can’t control your emotions. These are external things that get put into your subconscious. Now you’re mad through childhood trauma just the way that you are. And now you’re mad at yourself for being mad. Yeah. And then that doesn’t help. Yeah. You go, « Oh, [ __ ] I [ __ ] up again. » [ __ ] Yeah. And then you’re pissed off, dude. I mean, Daniel Conorman, you ever read him? He’s like a behavioral economist. He has a similar thing where it’s like system one and system two thinking. system one, it might be flip-flop, but system one is basically like he describes like an elephant and a guy on top of the elephant. Yeah. And like your system one is like the that’s the that’s the rider. That’s your act of thought. Yeah. And that’s like what you like ought to be almost like Kant. It’s like that’s like who you aspire to be. And then you have the elephant which is like your system two and that’s kind of like your passive subconscious. And eventually the rider will get tired and then your system two takes over and basically you have to train your system two into doing the actions of your system one. And that’s through like, you know, immersion and like sort of constant behavioral constant behavioral like repatterning. Yeah, that’s the same. The Zen has the same thing with like the ox hurting. Do you ever see that? Like there’s like six pictures and it’s a guy in the woods being like just chilling. Then he sees like the footprints of an ox and he discovers the ox and he’s like, « What the [ __ ] is this? » He has to tame the ox and he gets to ride the ox back home to his village and he’s like, « I’ve, you know, conquered my inner weird stuff. » So I I it can be possible. Well, it’s one of those things where I think people the tr the trouble is people go I’ve conquered it 1,000%. And it’s like no you didn’t. So it if you can get if you can get five huge victory. Yeah. You know what I mean? Especially with like nerve that’s the other thing with anxiety it’s another one where it’s like especially for doing like when I started headlining I would do shows and like I I would get to a green room and there my initial thoughts would be like this is wrong. I’m bad. This isn’t the right place. I’m going to ruin this. I’m going to [ __ ] this up. Yeah. Then I’d have to go perform and like make people laugh. And like that’s how I feel. I’m like, « This is not good. » So just learning how to be like, « Yeah, I actually am very nervous right now, but you know, it’s fine. I’m just going to do what I got to do. » And you know, eventually that like just all goes away. But it’s just I feel bad when people never learn how to like get past that stuff because you genuinely can. That’s my big thing cuz everyone’s like, « Oh, well, you just think you become like a floating on a cloud m. » It’s like, « No, dude. Your life will still be very hard, but yeah, you can definitely make it better for yourself. » Yeah. You never reach what is it in in Hinduism the what enlightenment or like mti or mosha mosha mosha yeah like you never like reach it ultimately like you reach it when you when you die but like the the whole purpose is trying to like get close to that perfect form or maybe some people do I don’t know it’s like I’m I’m going to try to do it that’s my goal but it’s like I don’t know I don’t again it’s it’s just for me it’s just one of those things where it’s like like I did it last night I like woke up in the middle of the night to get my kids I’m like [ __ ] I’m not going to fall asleep I’m going to be tired and then what I usually do is go [ __ ] dude. Chill out. Stop freaking out. And then I try to like make myself not spaz, which just freaks me out even more. Of course, you’re trying to tame the horses. Yeah. And I just laid there and I was like, « Yeah, I’m [ __ ] spazzing. I might not fall asleep. » And I just laid there and I just was like, « Whatever. » And then [ __ ] pass out. And yeah. So yeah, it’s that’s a big one, man. Like learning how to Well, that’s how I view fitness the same way cuz I love working out, but like I don’t do it for women. Like everyone all my friends are like, « Dude, like you’re already married. Like what what’s the point? » And I’m like, well, the point is just like daily like doing something difficult every single day and like trying to get better at doing hard things. Yeah, dude. And it’s like I also just feel like [ __ ] if I don’t work out. Oh, yeah. Of course. And I will say I love I flex on my wife all the time. When I’m getting any gains, I stand cuz we have like a you know the setup in the bathroom. It’s like her sink, my sink. I just stand in her mirror. She brushes her teeth and I’m like, « Bro, look at my [ __ ] back. » You are so lucky. You got this [ __ ] barrel of snakes out in the bed next to you. That’s like literally verbatim what I hit her with. I’m like, « How do you deal with this? » She’s like, « Shut the [ __ ] up. Shut up. » I actually I um I was talking to her last night and I again I have been lifting. I I’m what I I’m just cuz I you know I’m obviously goals oriented in terms of like performance and maybe my body’s adapting. I don’t even pay attention. I don’t know. But people have been like, « Dude, you’re getting jacked, man. » And like I’ve been we went out last night with some of our friends from the neighborhood and uh some of the husbands were just teasing me being like, « Dude, what the [ __ ] man? What are you doing? » And I was telling her, we’re like, you know, end of the night, we just got back from hanging out and uh I was like, « Dude, I » I was like, « I I really wish like, you know, my friends would stop like pointing out the fact that my shoulders have gotten bigger. It makes me feel really weird. » I was like, « Can you send a message to like all their wives to like tell them something? » She’s like, « You’re such a [ __ ] idiot. Shut up. » No, I didn’t put this on Facebook immediately. Just like you put it in like the HOA group chat. You know what I mean? Like, hey guys, been getting a lot of compliments by my jack physique and my godly body. It’ be possible just kind of cut down on that. You know what I mean? Like, I don’t comment on your fat, fugly body, so maybe it’s returning kind. I kept telling her, I’m like, I feel like a girl with huge tits. I’m like, it’s not cool. I’m I’m also not I have do not have that. Like, no, no, no. You’re never being the trend allegations. I’m telling you, I swear to God, I’m open for the test at any time. You test me. We’re getting USADA. We’re getting USAD out here. Please imagine if I pulled out. If I just got the if I got Dana to come out and test real quick, dude. Right. I I will do it right now. No, we got to we got to check. You’re on the creatine. Yeah, I am on the creat macro dose. Uh yeah, I’ve been [ __ ] with the macro. You saw the you saw the same Instagram post I saw. It was like, dude, 20 grams a day. You’re never going to be tired every day. I I know a guy who does 40, but the uh I it was just from Twitter. My friend was ripping my friend Egan. He was the one who opened my eyes to the core. He goes because I was doing like, you know, the regular five. It does do something to your brain. You’re doing [ __ ] [ __ ] dude. Five. Five’s nothing. I I started I started bumping it to like 10. It’s supposed to be five. This is not medical advice. If you’re taking five, stick with five. Talk to all the experts do say five is totally fine. They say like it just builds up over time. Yeah. But there there’s a study. I don’t know how true it is. They say if you take heavier doses, it um whatever it does in your brain combats sleep deprivation like the actual physical. That’s the exact thing that I saw. So, I’ve been bumping it like 1520. Damn. Yeah. And it’s awesome. I one time I tried to buy creatine on Amazon. And it wouldn’t let me cuz it didn’t have my my ID. And I had to like put in my ID on Amazon. What? Yeah. It’s like watching porn in Texas. You got to like lock in with the feds. You had to put the [ __ ] ID in there. You had to put like my license to prove I was over 18. I didn’t have it on me. So I was like, whatever. So I kept on clicking different ones trying to find one to get through. None of them went through. And then a week later, my wife calls her. She goes, what did you order? I was like, I tried to get creatine at the FBI at your house. Legit, we got 10 boxes of creatine just stacked up in my lobby. My neighbors think I’m just some psycho. just stacking creatine like like there’s a recession coming. I know someone who tried No, you know what? I’ve seen people bring protein powder on the airplane and just like a white powder in a bag and it’s like I can’t bring it on the plane because I get swabbed every time. Really? TSA comes over and goes, « Hey, excuse me, Jack. Dude, can you just open your bag real quick? » And they go, « What do you got in here? I got creatine. » They mind if we swab it? I got test me right now, bro. Yeah, take it. I’ll take some I’ll take 5G’s right now. Yeah, I’ll take it to the face. I’ll snort it. Actually, you didn’t get a good night’s sleep. You mind if I take 10 grams out of there real quick? Yeah. You seem sleep deprived. You mean it’s 4:00 a.m.? Does it [ __ ] your stomach up? I don’t know. I’ve just No, not really. I I when I I took like 15 the one morning and it doesn’t But I notice I’m not hungry all day. Yeah. If I If I have like a ton of it in the morning, I don’t know. I thought when I was little, I thought it was like the most serious [ __ ] in the world. I was like, like when people are on creatine when I was like younger, I was like, « Yo, he’s on creatine. » Yeah. The the linebacker on the high school football team. Yeah. Taking creatine, you’re like, « Woo! » Like, « Yo, you know that stuff comes out of your skin, right? » My people tell me like if you don’t drink enough water like you just break out and crazy. It’s like it’s not true at all. Yeah. You can take so much of that [ __ ] I think worse comes to worse you just get diarrhea. Yeah. Just whatever. Dude, honestly, the thing that’s like been so helpful and I do this on the road specifically. I’ve been reading the work of Dr. Jason Fun. Who’s that? Oh, dude. Your fun daddy. You’re going to love Fun Dad. He’s sick as hell. He’s uh what’s his thing? So, his thing he’s a big fasting guy. Nice. And uh and he’s just like his whole thing is like weight and like weight loss is completely connected to insulin spikes. That makes sense. Which is controversial. A lot of people are like, « No, it’s just calories in, calories out. » Obviously, it’s just, you know, laws of thermodynamics. But his thing is like increased insulin will create insulin sensitivity and then increased insulin sensitivity will make your body not be able to process food and nutrients properly. You’re just going to have huge spikes. So his whole thing is just like one meal a day. Sick. High protein, high fats. Nice. So, it’s like steak, butter, vegetables, house that once a day, like 3:00, and then you’ll get if you can get like 180 grams of protein in there in one meal, you’ll rock. You’ll be rocking. And I’ve been doing that over the past like 6 months. It’s been like transformative. Really? I feel amazing. Did you do blood work and all that stuff? Yeah. And everything’s great. I got like kind of high like cholesterol. I don’t worry about that. Yeah. But then I’m like I don’t know. My whole family’s got high cholesterol. That [ __ ] is nice for your brain. Stops Alzheimer’s or whatever. Yeah. I’m not worried about that. My dad has type two diabetes and I was on the doorstep of like pre-type 2 diabetes. Did you get a glucose monitor? No, I should get one. They got one on Stella. Really? Stella is the one I use. It’s just like a It’s like a non diabetic kind of like I’m b I consider myself like the scooter brawn of like medical quackery. Yeah. Like I just find I find [ __ ] I’m like dude nerve stimulator. I’ll buy it. You know what I mean? I’m just going to sleep with a contraption on my neck just [ __ ] shocking me in the middle of the night. But I I did the glucose monitor and that [ __ ] was awesome. Connects to an app on my phone. really. I wear it for like 2 weeks and it’s just like every time I eat I can see my glucose go up and down. Every time I work out I see it go up and down. Like I can just track it throughout the day and then like I can see how different foods impact me. So like I didn’t realize food that I thought my whole life was like nutritious and super delish. Was actually terrible. My mom made shepherd’s pie. Alltime favorite meal. So good. Dude, shephardd’s pie is like truly goatated. Yeah, it’s awesome. I think it’s the greatest meal ever invented. And I would I would I went home I crushed it and my insulin was like higher than ice cream. What? And I was like, « What is this? » And she’s like, « Oh, yeah. It’s all the corn. » Corn, mashed potatoes, a little bit of protein. Yeah. But like his whole theory is just like only natural foods, one meal a day, highfat, high protein, and I’m not hungry for 48 hours. Yeah. You don’t really need I I did a uh I did like a four It was a four or five. No, it was four. We were supposed to do a fiveday fast, but I had to do a show and I broke it the day before, but I did a 4 day. By the way, too, I did stand up on a two-day fast. I was ripping, bro. That that’s what I So that’s what I do on the road. You really don’t need that much. So you just don’t eat when you travel pretty much. Unless I’m eating like high quality foods. Like today we’ve went to like a healthy food restaurant in the do domain. It was like true food I think. Oh yeah. Yeah. And like it was great. I just got like salmon, steak, vegetables, and like I feel great. That’s the only thing I’ll eat till tomorrow. Probably tomorrow evening. And I might even just push it if I if I feel good doing a show on a fast. I don’t know if that’s just like Dude, I’m telling might be a bias, but I feel good. No, I I did I was worried. I did it at the mother ship and I was like worried that I was going to like pass out just in my head I’m like what if I [ __ ] just completely glitch out. Then after the f I was like kind of nervous for 5 minutes and once I settled down I was like you just feel so sharp. Yeah. So I my I fasting wise what I like cuz I did the four day I was like that was a bit much two day and then break with bone broth on the third day and then eat on the fourth. Dude like trying to get better cuz I can pig. That’s the other thing. Well that’s my ultimate vice. That’s my biggest vice of anything in my life truly is just the the sugar crash app. Yeah. And the only thing that curbed it my whole life. I’ve been trying to figure out ways to get off sugar. I’m like, « Oh, I only do this. » D. It’s just high fats satiate me. And I just don’t crave sugar at all. Yeah. That’s actually Yeah. I just don’t eat them anymore. I just like for the most part. I used to just like kind of especially with kids, you’re like, « You guys want some cookies? » And then you just eat seven. Well, dude, a wife is the worst thing for It’s like unbelievable because women have self-control. I don’t know how or why. Kind of. My wife will get like a cookie and then just I’ll I’ll open the fridge and there’ll be like half a cookie. I’m like, « What is this? » She’s like, « I’m working on it. » Yeah. We ordered this two days ago. She’s like, « Yeah, you know, I’m just I’m nibbling. » That makes sense. I I always call my fridge as my wife’s food museum. She just like saves all this takeout and [ __ ] I’m like I’m like, « We have to eat this right now. » Yeah. That was the other thing, too. I’d be like, « I have to finish all this food. » And it’s like cuz like I don’t want to throw it out. It’s like I don’t want to waste food, but at the same time, it’s like also shouldn’t treat my body like a trash can. Like if I can’t if I’m going to like feel sick from eating all this food, dude, I should probably just let it go. I literally have a note in my phone from the last time I crashed out on sugar and the note on my phone literally just says like, « Hey, you feel bad when you do this. You don’t like doing this. » Like it’s literally like it’s like a suicide note to myself. It’s like, « Hey, you’re going to regret this. You’re better than this. » That’s my thing with sugar. It’s like I don’t like it. Like I don’t The feeling I get after first of all like if I’m eating ice cream first two bites awesome. I’m like this is [ __ ] awesome. I love this. Diminishing returns though. Yeah. By the time I have finished like a cup, I’m like I a I feel terrible. My mouth feels all [ __ ] weird. And then I’m like, damn, I really wish I didn’t do that. Yeah. So now that’s what I just like same thing. I’m like we’re out we’re out to dinner last night and she’s like my wife’s looking at the dessert menu. It’s like I’m not getting anything. I’m not I’m not eating. I don’t need dessert. You can’t do a bite cuz if I do a bite, I’m spiraling. No. Yeah. Share it with me. I’m like I First of all, no. I’m going to make sure I get more than you if we’re doing that. And it’s like Second of all, it’s like no. I I don’t I don’t want it. I don’t want it at all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they’re able to just do a little bit and just move on. Not me. They Dude, it’s almost like I’ve like tried it because I’ve tried to tell her like just stop eating sugar allgether and she’s like I have to. Like she’s like I get my period like I have to eat something [ __ ] up. And it’s like why? She’s like you don’t understand. I’m like whatever. Fair enough. She wouldn’t get it, dude. You’re just full of semen. Yeah. Exactly. Jacked, dude. Literally they they have no idea. But the full of semen thing they have no they have no [ __ ] conception. They think they know, but it’s like, dude, you don’t even That’s wasn’t even half my power. Yeah. You know what I mean? What I gave you was just a that was just a taste. Yeah, that was Well, they also they have no idea. My my brother was explaining it. He’s like he was telling his wife. He’s like, « Look, you know, you like girls have anxiety all the time about like a 100,000 things. » You guys are like, « Oh, [ __ ] I got to get a calendar. » He’s like, « I have that with coming. » Just all the time. I’m like, « When am I going to bust? » Dude, the panic bus is crazy. Just being just anxious, just like a squirrel in the woods, just like, « Dude, I got to get this. » That’s that was my move traveling. So, I’m like, « I can’t sleep. » And it was just panic bust. Hit the button, pass out. The thing with not sleeping that helped me so much. One, uh, take a little supplement. Take a little, uh, oh, what do they call it? Starts with a G. I can’t believe I’m forgetting. GABA. No, it’s a gly GHB. No, Tren. No, I can’t believe I’m uh I can’t believe I’m forgetting the name. Uh, but yeah, it’s just like a supplement that people take. Oh, magnesium. Yeah, I take mag. I do magnesium and elanine. Yeah. But I I started [ __ ] with the the dark arts of um now I’m blanking. Melatonin. Whoa. That stuff is Yeah. So it’s super like it’s not habit for me. I’m like, « Yeah, it is. » Yeah. Because I I would take it and first of all like it put I’m like sensitive to [ __ ] So I would take melatonin and it puts me in like a weird twilight state for like 20 minutes where I’m like I just feel weird. Especially if I have like caffeine in my system. Yeah. Because then it like fights against the melatonin. The caffeine are battling. I just feel wretched. Then I do get like a wildly fitful night of sleep. But the problem is like I didn’t want to take this every night. So I I had to I was like I’m traveling. I should take melatonin to reset my circadian. And it was just like I I would get home and be like I should take it again. And I would start taking it every night and it’s like I can’t have this. Start sleepwalking and [ __ ] No, I was just I sleep like a I’m like dead. I take it. I don’t cuz I have I have like I have tons of dreams. Anytime I’ve done like sleep uh tracking with like auto rings and stuff. I’m in REM sleep for like four three and a half four hours a night. I don’t really get a lot of deep sleep, which is probably bad, right? But you ever heard of the the zombie killer? This is a guy that took a a sleep medication in Canada in the 80s. Crazy story. Psycho, right? So, he the according to the story, he plays a rugby game. He’s exhausted. He takes a sleep medication, like a prescription. Yeah. Yeah. Knocks out, wakes up in his truck covered in blood, calls the police. He goes, « I don’t know what happened. I’m in my truck. I I’ve been gone for the past 8 hours. I think I was sleepwalking. Someone sent help. His hands are all cut up. Turns out he like murdered his mother-in-law and his father-in-law. What? Drove to their house, killed him. Goes to the courts in Canada. Typical Canadian courts, you know, Trudeau’s Canada. They basically say, « Yeah, it was just a mistake. He didn’t mean to. » Gets off and creates precedent for like this sleepy zombie killer that just like murdered people. And his alibi is like, « Yeah, I was sleepwalking. I have no memory. I took a sleep medication. I don’t know what happened. I killed my in-laws. » The perfect the perfect crime. Yeah. I’m I’m I’m guessing the marriage didn’t last. I I got to double check the data on this. This was back in the 80s, you know. Damn. Crazy, right? So, it could happen. You be careful with melatonin. I was a sleepwalker back in the day. I used to walk. I tried to jump out the window when I was little. No way. Where were you? The screen stopped me. I was just I had my I shared a room with my brothers and I had my foot pressing against the screen trying to get out. My brother was just like, « Yo, bro, you got [ __ ] You might have been MK Ultra, didn’t I? » C was trying to take care of you, dude. You tapped in your sleeper. I was trying to kill myself at night time. It was It was like true story. I would have been falling from like Yeah, I would have I would have been dead for sure. I I would have been severely [ __ ] up. Maybe I would have lived. I mean, it depends. You were inline skating back then. True. I was I was I was bored back then. I I when I was younger, I was a skateboarder, but I had a like a secret passion for rollerblading, but it was just like completely taboo. You caught the end wave of it. Yeah. It would have been like if I bust I was way better at rollerblading than I was at skateboarding. And I was I was like okay at skateboarding, but I was like nasty at blading. But if I like busted out the blades while my boys were all boarding, it would have been Yeah. You can’t they would have kicked me. I would have got exiled. I mean, the worst part is you just got to put your shoes in the skate park. You know what I mean? Like like you got to just like leave your your Etnne just like on the ramp and first of all, they’d be like, « We’re taking these Etnney. You can’t wear them anymore. Any privileges denied. You’re going home barefoot, dude. » Dude, I started skateboarding like after years and years of not doing it. Uh there’s like a pump track. Oh yeah. I’ve been ripping that thing on a skateboard. It’s the greatest. And you loosen up the trucks real good. Oh, you have to. Oh no, no, sorry. I had Mine were way too loose. when I bought it and I like I remember I like there’s like they’re building around my house so like they’re always building new houses around it still. So like I I got my skateboard home. I didn’t realize the trucks are so loose. I hopped on it in front of a bunch of construction workers wheelbite completely had to like flew out went 40t away and had to like walk away like I’m such a [ __ ] loser. Yeah, it was my kids. I a [ __ ] kind of fat 40-year-old just falling off a skateboard and it goes I had an adult fall after picking up skateboarding after not skating since I was a kid. It’s [ __ ] up when you fall scary, dude. It’s insane. Yeah. Like I like cuz I skated when I was a kid just like normal [ __ ] I would just like drop in like bulls. I only did vert skating. I never like street skating at all. I just loved like going up ramps and [ __ ] you know hitting like You should hit this pump track. It’s literally How far? It’s not far. It’s It’s 20 minutes from here. I would love this. It’s Dude, you hop on it. You literally drop in and it’s just, you know, you have like these little concrete waves that you literally pump your legs. Yeah. You get They used to have one in Williamsburg. They they patch it up. They they drilled over it. Dude, this fires took over our town. It’s heaven. I I put in I’ll like play music I used to listen to when I skateboarded as like a seventh grader. Like what? Just just Y2K 311 [ __ ] dude. It’s like three It’s amazing. Just rap metal the whole time, dude. Just amber. Just crushing amber. Just literally, dude. It’s I I do 311 music. Their first album. It’s f so [ __ ] sick. And then I’ll you just kind of like it’s like it feels and I’ I’ve only surfed like once or twice but it’s like it’s similar where you’re just kind of like I mean it’s totally different but you’re kind of just like locked in a groove where you’re like you’re not pushing off. you’re completely being propelled by the course and you got to like, you know, like get good at like coming up on a big quarter pipe, coming down, dropping, and there’s a there’s like all these little turns and this one way if you do it, you gain speed and there’s this thing. It’s like probably as tall as like that tree like where they things diverge right there and if you’re going fast enough, you catch a little bit of air and then come down really. I mean, like I’ll see pro skaters do it and they’ll get like six feet up in the air. I’ll get like I’ll get that much. Dude, I’m in heaven. I’m I get like an inch of air and I’m like, « Holy fuck. » I mean, that’s so sick. It’s awesome. It’s But also, a lot of you can even air out without even going up. Like, if you just kind of like pull the board up when you’re on the wall, like you kind of you still catch the wave a little. But it’s scary. As an adult, you’re like, « Dude, if I fall, I’m dead, bro. » So, I went back to the skatepark. There’s one right next to the studio we record the pod at. And my buddy Andrew has it. It’s called Substance Skatepark. It’s sick. And I was just going through, cruising around, and I would just like listen to music and I was like, « All right, I’m going to go to the big one, drop in and it’s like a 10ft pipe. » And I I dropped in on it and just like hit the sidewall and I’m like 190 and I just crash into it and like people walked around. They were like, « Are are you okay? » I was like, « Yeah, dude. I used to fall when I was a kid and it was fine. » Yeah. And now there’s a grown man. I just had like my knee was [ __ ] up. Yeah. You’re [ __ ] for a while. I I my left knee is still [ __ ] up. I’ve gotten hurt this year more than like the last 10 years combined. I I went on a zipline pretty much again like it was about let’s say like the height of the top of a sixft ladder like those those like lights would be the zipline. My kids are there. I’m like go it was like an Airbnb we rented and we’ve been there before and I’ve done it before no problem. I said guys check this out the second time we went there jumped on it. It just completely snapped out. So I like literally jumped from six feet up and just landed ass first. Luckily in like soft grass and there was boulder like giant boulders sticking out of the ground. And I would have been [ __ ] But my knee was like right here was just or was it my right knee? I don’t know. It was over here. Pride for like could have been a good settlement. 4 months. Yeah. I can’t, man. My dad drilled that into my head. He was like, « You can’t sue people, dude. It’s you can’t litigate when you’re being dumb. » He’s like Yeah. He’s like, « You also jumped off. » Yeah. It’s one thing if you get like sideswiped by a truck. I like, « Dude, you jumped off a zipline. You’re [ __ ] 190 lbs. It’s not for you. » What’s up, guys? We’re going to take a break really quick cuz I got to tell you a story. Imagine you’re sitting in your house. It’s cold outside. It’s it’s a like ziplining as an adult. Again, my parents had one as a kid coming off the treehouse. It was so sick. But like I would I was on it and then like I let go and just whipped up immediately like hit my chin just knocked my whole [ __ ] back. Rock them suck them. Yeah, it was tough. But dude, yeah, as a as like a you know late 30s falling from 6 feet. It felt I thought I was like I I was convinced I broke my neck and like I was Christopher Reeves up like when I when I hit the ground I was like my little nephew was laughing at me. I’m like it’s not [ __ ] funny. Shut the [ __ ] up. I was so mad. Just rage quitting. Yeah. Well, I was just like dude stop [ __ ] laughing. I might have to go to the hospital and I was like walking around. My kids are looking at me. I was like, « Fuck, I’m just going to go. » They’ve seen me get [ __ ] up so many times. Really? Yeah. I broke my nose boogie boarding, body surfing. I broke my nose just at the beach at a sandbar. Mhm. No way. Made them line up. I was like, « Guys, watch this. » My wife’s like, « Come on. » Like, « We’re done. » I was like, « Watch this, guys, before we go in. » And I I rode one wave. If they weren’t paying attention, I was like, « Guys, final wave. Pay attention. » So, I made them, my family stood right at the edge of the surf and I was like, « Stand right there. » And I just came in flying. I I went too fast and I think it was like a young lady’s boogie board flew up and it cracked my nose and dude I it was like broken three places. No [ __ ] way. We had to leave the beach. We had to like go home. Get my nose fixed. You’re officially done. You had to get a reset and everything. Your eyes were all black and [ __ ] Completely black eyes, dude. For like a week. It sucked so bad. But and that’s the worst way to do it, too. It was like, « Hey, I tried to show off in front of my family. » Yeah. They were scared. I You got to say you got in a fight. I came out of the Well, I came out of the water and there my nose was like moved over and my daughters were like crying. They were so scared and I was like it like rang my bell so I was like oh yeah kind of like concussed a little bit. Bro, I did that on a wake skate one time. I was wake skating behind my friend’s boat in high school and I fell just like on the wake and then like came up out of the water and just just wake skate to the face. I didn’t break my nose, but it split me real good. And then I was just bleeding everywhere and I still I I didn’t even know. I was like, « No, no, I’m fine. » And they’re like, « No, you’re you’re ruining the boat. » Yeah. Like there’s blood everywhere. Swim bag. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I I I was recording my special like two weeks ago, I think. And a lot of the intro, a lot of it shot in POV. Yeah. So, they have like a guy like a body double to operate the camera cuz it’s like a pretty it’s like a serious rig. And one of the shots I was like, « Let me do it. » And they were saying, they’re like, « Rule of thumb, like we don’t let people do it. » But they’re like, « Fine, dude. Just like whatever. » I went so hard. It was like I did a thing where I had like I was sitting down. I kicked my leg like to be like cuz I was like angry in the thing. Dude, the camera just came right at the thing came up. Night two of filming, I had a giant [ __ ] wound in my forehead and it was like a big deal. So, you gota like match the footage and everything, but I was like, « Fuck. » Cuz I had I have this We’re still figuring it out now, but I I have for the night too, I had a like literally as an active wound. They had to put liquid bandage and it kind of just like kept it in place. No way. Yeah. I [ __ ] rocked myself in the head with the cam. With the cam, dude. These POV guys are real warriors, huh? They are. Dude, that [ __ ] How are they going with that, you know? How are they even doing that? We got to look at the science. I think classic just camcorder. This was like it’s made to look like you’re It looks like you’re like seeing out of the person’s eye. GTA [ __ ] Yeah. So, it looks literally like you just see arms and legs running around, but I I wore it for 5 seconds and hurt myself. And it’s the same thing like it got I have they sent me the footage where I’ll show you afterward. It was like I hit my thing and you hear a clon in the head and then you just hear my wife like, « Are you all right? » And I’m like, « Yeah, I’m fine. Why? Relax. I’m fine. » It’s you just hear people like, « Oh [ __ ] dude. Sit still. » It was just four straight lines of just a cut bleeding on my head. I was like, « Fuck. » Nothing worse than injuring yourself than having to like sit in it for a little bit. You know what I mean? Like I was being a dumbass. Like I’ve done that before. I would like hit a ramp like when I was a kid and then you fall and everyone’s watching and you’re just like, « Oh, well this is going to be a whole thing. » Yeah. People tell my mom she’s going to be mad at me. Dude, I could have like for real ruined my special cuz it was like I have this giant and like we’ll see what happens. But I have this giant one. Did you have to address it? No. They they uh it was really funny. So they like they put liquid bandage over it just to see like cuz they we had we taped one night so we’re taping the second night and the idea is to like get the best footage but if you got a splice you want to look exactly the same, right? So I have like one night where it’s normal and the other night where it’s just like you can totally see it but it’s like they what they do is they put liquid bandage and then they try to like cover it with makeup but then which was fine. They got it to kind of match but then as soon as I start doing standup the rest of my face turns red and there’s there’s just a white pale white patch in the middle of my head. just the reverse Hindu just full just white dot in the middle of the forehead. You didn’t sleep at all that night. You’re on 50 grams of creatine juice to the gills. You’re just jacked and white dotted. But it was honestly it was funny cuz like it was a big deal. It was like, you know, it’s the second night of filming and it’s like they’re trying to get it to match and everyone like it was like kind of a freakout. It’s like a collective freakout. And I literally had to just be like, « Guys, there’s nothing we can do. » Just we have CGI. Yeah, that’s thing too. I was like, « Guys, I’m pretty sure if they make Transformers explode, they can cover up a tiny patch on my forehead. » But it was just another again, it was like, « Thank God. » That’s like, that’s the thing, too. When you try to sell like the meditation stuff on people, like, I don’t see the point. I just sit there and I get angry. It’s like, yeah, why are you [ __ ] getting that annoyed to sit in a chair silently for 10 minutes? That’s a major problem. Yeah. You can’t literally just exist in yourself for 10 minutes without having a absolute kind of like borderline psych like a light psychotic episode to the point where you’re like, I tried that [ __ ] It’s not for me. It’s like, yeah, you have [ __ ] problems, dude. Yeah, you can’t sit in a chair without bugging out. Like, that’s not good. But luckily, I had done all that stuff to where like, you know, it’s like it’s kind of intimidating. You’re on a big thing. There’s a crew of like 30 people. There’s all these cameras like, « Oh, [ __ ] I’ve sold this special. » All this stuff. And I had to like, it was just one of those things I had to be like, they’re like, « Oh, man. And if only we didn’t. I’m like, dudes, we we literally talking about what we could have done is totally pointless. Patch me up. I’m going to let’s just rip these shows. I just need an eye patch. Yeah, just [ __ ] yeah. Dan Crunchaw, get me out there, dude. I could let this thing fly. It would honestly help it. I’d be dead serious if you just had a full black eye. The special never addressed it. People might think they might think you’re Illuminati, though. They might think you’re black eye club. They might be black. They’re like, « Dude, Claw Schwab got to him, dude. » Dude, I was like, it was a huge victory for me to be like, I like just kept my cool and was just like, « Guys, let’s just do like there’s nothing we could do now. My forehead is [ __ ] Yeah, we’re crossing to Delaware, boys. It is what it is. Yeah. And it was it was one of those things that made me laugh cuz you know you get I get in my head with that [ __ ] and it was like just the first night, you know, you’re all nervous and [ __ ] I was more relaxed after cracking my head cuz it was just a reminder like, « Yeah, dude, you’re a [ __ ] dumbass. Like don’t be that serious. Like you can’t you’re not built to be serious. If you try to be serious, it’s just bad for your body because you crack your head. Just go rip it and do do your thing. » Yeah. It kind of takes the pressure off. It really It kind of did in a weird way. It was just like, « Well, [ __ ] All right. Well, I might have [ __ ] f I might have blown this. I’ve done that before I go on stage. Like, I get in my head where I’m like, is this outfit like I’m not a hat guy. I can’t wear hats. That’s not funny. Also, no one can wear hats on stage. Only black comics. You can’t wear hat. I’ve tried the baseball hat thing. Even just like trying material out and it’s like I I was in my head the entire like who what am Jerry Seinfeld with a [ __ ] hat on. I was like, take this thing the [ __ ] off your head. But like I’ve spilled like mustard on my shirt before and it’s the best sets ever. Yeah. Cuz I walk out there I’m like nothing matters. Who cares, dude? My I think this was the last time I filmed my special. I was taking a [ __ ] between shows and I I don’t know if it was during the special just I might have just been like headlining at heel. I don’t know what it was, but I was doing a show and it was like, you know, kind of high at the time high pressure situation and I was taking a [ __ ] and you ever like you’re not like angling your dom correctly and you pee through the toilet seat? Yeah. Yeah, I’ve been there. I pissed all over my leg and I just had it going. I had pee soaked. Just a full pee. Just Yeah. I had like a I would say like a 4 inch in diameter patch of piss soaked jeans and I like went out on stage and I was like I literally pissed all over my jeans before I came up here and everyone was like ew. And I was like I’m just kidding. I literally did. I was like I [ __ ] pissed my pants kind of effectively. I effectively pissed my pants. But again just kind of just shows the absurdity of life and you’re like it doesn’t matter. Let’s have fun. Exactly. It’s like what am I trying to look cool? I just pissed myself. I banged my head. It’s like I’m not cool. This is what it is. I’m a [ __ ] Yeah. You had to pull a daddy daycare or whatever. No. What’s the What’s the Sandler movie where he pe Oh, Mr. Deeds. Yeah. Oh, no. No. Um, that’s uh Billy Madison. Billy Madison. Everyone. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, that’s uh Yeah, you just got to let it rip. But okay, before we dip, I just wanted to ask you as an author Mhm. are there any books that you recommend or any uh Wikipedia wormholes you’ve been going down currently? So, twoprong. So, if it’s like I I’ve been writing a lot of uh fiction lately. I I’ve been I wrote a book. I self-published. I actually took it off Amazon because now what I’ve been doing with writing it’s like I I love writing. I do I literally do it kind of like all day as much as I can. And uh but it’s like I also want to produce I want to start like producing books and I I’ve recently with like the So my whole point is like I’ve teamed up now. So I like I had that first book. I did it. It was okay. I like reread it because I wrote it so long ago. I reread it. I’m like like I got to like I’ve gotten better. So I don’t like I just felt kind of like not embarrassed but I’m like I could make this better. Sure. But then like I I’ve started working with one of my friends who’s like for real a fantastic writer. So now what I what I’ve been doing with him, his name is Pedro Senus. He’s a man. I took like my old book and I’m like, you know, tear this thing apart and then we’re going to let’s re-imagine this book. We’ll keep all the characters, the settings. Let’s just like almost like a version 2.0. Well, it lets us brainstorm. But he kind of handles a lot of the uh kind of highlevel like pro stuff. So, it’s like I can now I can just sit there and just be like, « This is what I want it to be about. » He can be like, « Well, that doesn’t make sense. This is great. » And we just go back and forth and we’re writing like two books right now like that, which is kind of sick. And then now I just do a Substack where I just write like just like essays and [ __ ] and put them out for free. Well, dude, I was even going through some of the articles on your website and they’re so fun. Like they’re like Did you read Dave Barry growing up? No. He’s like just a humorist, just like a funny guy. I read him when I was a kid, but like that just like I didn’t realize until I read his [ __ ] that like just words like pros can be so funny. Oh yeah. And like reading your stuff, it had a similar energy. I was like I’m laughing more at this than I do like a lot of comedy specials cuz like there’s something about like internalizing and reading in my voice the words that is funny to me. Maybe it’s just like an an innate narcissism. I don’t know. But like I’m just reading I’m like dying laughing reading an article. Well, that’s that’s kind of my that’s been my mission for a while, especially with like the podcast and standup is you again you get so in your head and you’re like oh like entertainment is one of those things where like you know you know comedians everyone people if if you once it works out for you like so many people do it and you know you make no money at all then it works and like you stand up’s one place that always freaked me out where like you’ll see people making like doctor salaries who are miserable so they’re like I should be making 50,000 times this and that’s to me is like a track if you get on that you’re just going to be miserable forever of course. So, I I try, you know, again, I’m not perfect at this. I try to be like, let me just genuinely make an effort to like make people laugh at their like give them little things that can like just escape the absolute torture and hell of like a regular job. Yeah. Like 90% of regular jobs. Some I guess could be fun, but it’s like let me just focus on that instead. And it makes it just it’s like not like I’m like, you know, I’m so nice. It just makes it takes the anxiety off me really. Dude, the hard boner test is so fun. The hard boner test. Someone turned that into a video with like subtitle. It’s my cuz I forgot I wrote that and then I saw a thing on Twitter or something and it was like someone took it and turned it into one of those like hope core type videos where they it dude it’s it’s awesome man. But I’ve been like that’s my whole point was I’ve realized like all right novels I’ll get there one day but I’m not there yet. let me like really work on like the things that are truly in my wheelhouse and then like books that I want to do I write them with my friend who’s actually equipped to produce like a publishable like you know like professional grade thing because like novels it’s like I I could eek one out but it’s it’s not going to be the level I want. I need help to do that. So So this fiction book is it fantasy? No, the fiction book so the one I’m doing right now is like the original one that’s like a 2.0 know, was like a kind of like a crime novel that I wrote based it was like a I came up with it when I was in Philly like loosely just like I I did make up a lot of it and some of it was like somewhat true stuff or whatever and then like so I I did that and then I’m reworking that one now to make it just kind of better and then the other one is more kind of like a weird fantasy kind of sci-fi one not sci-fi but it’s like more fantasy than kind of grounded in reality. That’s sick. But but then in terms to answer your question, sorry for the long uh tangent, but to answer your question for fiction, what I’ve been doing is I I read I’ve been reading Elmore Leonard a lot who he wrote Get Shorty. Uh he wrote like he wrote like 45 books and a lot of them have been turned into movies, but he writes in like a very clear like because I when I wrote my first book, what I did was I try to like prove I was a good writer by just like overexlaining things like the classic thing like and the sun was beautiful and dazzle, you know, [ __ ] like that. He kind of does like the opposite where it’s like very lean and you know so I like I just read books that I like and I like actively dissect them where I’ll be like that was a really cool passage. I take a picture of it and I’ll like kind of break it down so that when I am writing I have like a toolkit of like here’s all the things I liked. Here’s why I liked them. How do I what are better ways to like show you know x y and z. So I’ve been doing that with fiction books just like reading them breaking them down. non-fiction right now. I’m in like a bit of a slump, but I I I have been reading about the Desert Fathers, and that’s like my favorite [ __ ] right now, where it’s like the guys who I guess it was like the fourth century, right when Christianity became the the official uh religion of Rome. These guys were like, « This is [ __ ] up. » Because it really it was like they were kind of I mean, it’s kind of like we were talking about in the very beginning. They were clashing against a pagan society where they’re like again it’s not I I I don’t like to talk about this stuff being like you’re evil if you would do this or do that like not at all. We’re all pulled to do that kind of stuff but they their philosophy of the world was like the only thing that only you know treasures and pleasures that can be had are in this temporal worldly existence you know that was like Rome like glory to your family riches subjugate everyone but orgies. Yeah. Yeah. Literally like yeah we’re going to pack this thing full of like ladies. We’re going to have some freaks. We’re going to laugh at them. might [ __ ] the freaks too. It was just like it was just you would try to gain worldly status and just make yourself as comfortable and kind of like titilated as possible. And these early Christian guys were like it’s not it and they ran to the desert just to be like hermits in the desert and just figure out like just a better way basically. I’ve been reading it’s like the book is full of it’s called the wisdom of the desert and it’s full of just their little like sayings and apherisms and Merin. Yeah, Thomas Merin. He’s the man. He was all he was a monk as well. But that’s as I get older I just like reading about monks. Like it’s such a crazy thing to be like literally everything in the world you’re supposed to just swear it off. Yeah. Just and just pure aesthetic lifestyle. Yeah. It’s [ __ ] up and I’ll never do that but it’s cool. I like to read about it. And you ever read about the Agori of India? These are like the dudes that they’re they’re typically like Shivite like mystics and so they like have a devotional path to or no maybe they’re Vishnuite. Yeah, I think they’re Vishnavite. And which one’s the destroyer? Shiva. Shiva. Shiva Shiva. No, they’re they’re Shivite aesthetics that basically see death as like pure escape. And so they’re like they like just live out in the wilderness and like they cremate their dead and like bathe in the ashes. Like you might have seen pictures of these guys. They’re just like coated in the ashes of the dead and they see it as like their like sort of like temporal gaining of like enlightenment in in moa that they’re able to like connect with the ultimate destruction which then leads to enlightenment and like all death is rebirth that flowers die and they grow new flowers and like they’re just pure aesthetics that just live out there and just just bathe out in the cremation. I just I I don’t know what it is. I I love hearing those guys’ thoughts like when they’re when they were like cuz the the the book the desert book is it’s kind of similar where they’re just kind of like chilling in little huts and the whole thing was like you know if you’re fasting cool but if you get like attached to the fact that like how sick it is that you’re fasting they’re like you’re doing it wrong might as well just eat a meal with your boys at that point like so it’s like I don’t know there’s something to be said that the reason I like to read it is like it’s not a stretch to be like the way things are going now it’s not very great to be like, you know, addicted to social media, addicted to like Only Fans porn. It does it does kind of strip away, you know, if you’re a young guy, it’s like I want to have a family at one point, but you’re just like in debt because of like, you know, online gambling and only fans. You’re like there’s you got to break out. There’s some there’s need to be some like breakaway thing or just like, you know, just a reordering of, you know, how do you orient your life and like what is a you know, how do you exist in a way that doesn’t make you [ __ ] like furious and feel horrible all the time? and all like the cheap hits of dopamine are just going to basically just lock you into sadness long term and that like kind of detachment from worldly pleasures is kind of a better long-term bet. It’s like we’re we’re pretty locked into that. Like it’s I with kids too, it’s like I catch myself all the time. I’m like, « All right, I’m going to put on TV so you guys can watch TV so I can stare at my phone. » And it’s like yeah, probably not the best. I mean, I wouldn’t I’m not like a purist on it. Obviously, you need your little breaks to [ __ ] chill, of course. But parenting has shown me like it it does reveal the double standard that I hold for myself, you know, where like I’m like, you can’t look at the iPad, but I can go on my phone all day and just doom scroll. It’s like a war and do it in front of you, too. Yeah. Yeah. You can’t, though. And you can’t eat sugary food. No, but I can order cookies at 3:00 a.m. and just crush. Don’t try. I’ll be on my phone like, « What’s that? » I’m like, « Oh, you just you guys don’t even look at this thing. This will [ __ ] you up. Don’t I just hold my kids to such a different standard than me. » Yeah. You know what I mean? It’s like not fair. And so it calls me to be like, « Oh, maybe if I’m going to make him not eat sugar, maybe I should be a little more disciplined with my diet. And if I’m going to like encourage him to go be active and play outside, maybe I should be outside. » You know, that’s my thing. Yeah. That that’s that’s pretty much it. It’s like, yeah. What the that like if I had to boil it down, it’s like again, I’m with my kids tired. I’m like annoyed because I’ve been like, you know, hurting them around all day like, « Hurry the [ __ ] up. Stop doing. » And it’s like if I can catch myself in those moments being like I just want to look at my phone. I just want a break. I have to do all this stuff at work. If I can like learn to shut that down and be like, « No, man. I’m chilling with these guys. » Like, it’s it’s literally up to me to come up with something fun to do. Be present. It’s cool. Be present. And like, you know, just like, you know, so I’ve been really And just reading about the Desert Fathers does help me where I’m like, damn, these guys were in a [ __ ] hut that they built in the desert with literally nothing. Yeah. It’s like, I can figure this out. I don’t have to be such a [ __ ] that I’m like, I haven’t had any time to check my Twitter. It’s important for my job. I have to look at this. It’s all [ __ ] right? Dude, Christopher Ryan wrote a great book called Civilized to Death. And basically, he just sort of explores like our modern compulsion towards like just being happy in the present and just not ever really being actually present, but just constantly seeking like other hits of happiness. Yeah, I I dude I literally just wrote a Substack about this really just about harvesting joy. It’s like you have to it’s all about like and again I I I I say this I always include myself in this but it’s like you you grow up with the idea like if you can arrange your external circumstances in a certain way there’s going to be like you know those movies like we got the missing piece and it like unlocks everything starts glowing blue and like we’ve opened the gate the portal it’s like it doesn’t exist like there’s in my opinion it’s like you can make your life better and you should but it’s also like what people don’t focus on is like how do you train the instrument which actually experiences happiness which is yourself. Yeah. like there’s no external circumstance that is truly going to unlock that, but you can train your mind to have like a steady slow drip of like just kind of contentment that wasn’t there before. Furthermore, is suffering inherently bad? You know what I mean? Like we have such an aversion to suffering and like obviously gross suffering like at scale is like atrocious and obviously is terrible, but like minor forms of acute suffering in your daily life. Is it actually always bad? No way. I think it’s good, man. Cuz like before I had kids, I had all the free time in the world and I’d be like, « I’m bored. What am I doing with my life? » And now I have no [ __ ] free time. So when I get it, I’m like, « Oh yeah, if I get an hour that I can just like do whatever I want. » Yeah. It’s [ __ ] amazing. Yeah. So I I’ll It’s like Yeah. I I Yeah. You have to kind of, you know, eat some [ __ ] in just in life in general cuz if you never had anything bad happen to you, I I can’t even I can’t imagine that. You be a [ __ ] freak. Yeah. Truly. I mean this is like uh the nice thing with kids is it also gives purpose to the suffering. Like all suffering is sort of purposeful which is very much like a a Victor Frankle idea. It’s like yeah dude like you’re suffering for a reason and as long as you’re suffering for a reason it’s it’s endurable. You know what I mean? Like you can get through it. Like you can sort of rationalize that’s dude again that’s what the desert fathers are all about that. A lot of their sayings are like dude if your life’s easy you’re [ __ ] You need a hard life. If your life’s not hard like you’re [ __ ] You need you need a hard life. And you know, and again, not to like fet fetishize your own suffering, but just to be like this just is what it is, dude. Yeah. No, of course. Shit’s [ __ ] hard. It genuinely doesn’t feel good a lot of the time. Yeah. But you know, if you can use your kind of like creative powers to like somehow turn it into a thing that feels kind of like good and beautiful. It’s like huge huge W. Yeah. Of course. That’s the way I look at like life already has so much acute suffering. You can just try to rationalize that. You don’t necessarily need to like self flagagillate. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you’ll see some of the radical boys getting after it. The Catholics do this all the time. They’ll just whip themselves in the back and you’re like, « Yeah, all right. It’s not necessary. I don’t think you have to do that. » And it’s also, you know, this is like the people say this and it’s it’s like true, but it’s also like whatever. It’s like your levels of suffering if you like mash them up against people all over the world. It’s like it’s laughable, but it’s still this you’re still suffering. You’re still like, « Well, dude, I look I haven’t starved to death my whole life, so obviously I can’t I can’t appreciate this meal as much, but it’s like but suffering is a gas, as they say. It consumes the space that it exists in. So, like, you know, not to like equate, I think it like, you know, you can get into like a point where you’re like, dude, my suffering isn’t even worth anything cuz there’s people that really suffer. It’s like, well, to you, like your mom dying, Yeah. it’s [ __ ] up. Yeah. Is is objectively terrible regardless. You know what I mean? Like the death of your dog is terrible. Perhaps someone has worse suffering, but to you in this exact moment, it’s a bummer. And like you’re able to kind of like sit in it and like and cope without having to ideally just jump to like cheap pleasure to to fix the uh that’s the uh whatchamacallit Schopenhauer who was like a pessimistic uh German whatever philosopher and his big thing was like yeah the way the world’s set up it’s [ __ ] like you’re going to be [ __ ] miserable no matter what even if you somehow arrange things in a way to where they’re like favorable you know compared to everyone else say like you become super wealthy or whatever it’s like then you’re just bored he’s like best case scenario he’s like no matter what this like if you free yourself from like the abject suffering that just comes with let’s say you know 7/8 of the world that, you know, if you’re if you’re like the one, you know, if you’re like the 1/8 that like is somehow lucky to have decent circumstances, the hawk of boredom just is going to circle over you and just peck at your head for the rest of your life. You’ll just be bored and distracted. Whoa. That’s kind of heavy. Yeah, he was he was no one everyone thought he was kind of a bummer. But he’s also like not a free will guy either. I’m pretty sure he’s like, « Yeah, dude. You free will is not even real. » I don’t know. I don’t I don’t know what the guy his whole thing was like he he called it the will which is like just the animating force of the universe and that was the thing driving humans forward. I guess he was just like you’re I think he would have said like you have free will but only to like only to the point where to realize that like shit’s [ __ ] up as good as you could do. He’s like literally his his like prescription was like find some books man. He’s like find something cool to read and otherwise like find a cozy nook. You know what I mean? curl up. Find some cool [ __ ] to read and just go to the Scholastic book fair and just go to town, you know. Yeah. He’s like, « Save. » Yeah. Save up. Do your summer reading. Get the pizza book. Get the pizza club and [ __ ] and let it rip, dude. Matt McCusker, this has been wonderful. Thank you, man. Appreciate it. I really appreciate the time. It’s been a pleasure getting to know you better. Thank you, man. And uh yeah, this is awesome. You got to shred the pump track. I actually would be completely down. All right. Maybe uh today or tomorrow, I’ll hit you. Let’s figure something out for sure. Hell yeah. All right. Thank you, brother. What’s up, people? Quick announcement. If you are a fan of Camp Gagnon or Religion Camp, I have great news because we are dropping History Camp. That’s right. This is the channel where we’re going to be exploring the most interesting, fascinating, controversial topics from all time throughout all history. Right? You probably know about Benjamin Franklin, uh I don’t know, Thomas Jefferson, Nicola Tesla, interesting figures from history and you probably learned about school and they were pretty boring, but not here. No, as you know, uh I was raised by a conspiracy theorist. So, I’m going to be diving deep into all of the interesting, strange, occult, and secretive societal relationships that all of these famous, influential men from our shared past have. So, if you’re interested, please go ahead and subscribe to the YouTube channel. It will be pinned in the description as well as the comments. And if you’re on Spotify, this doesn’t really apply to you, but these episodes will be dropping as well. Just go ahead and give us a high rating because it really helps the show. .

Déroulement de la vidéo:

1.199 It’s Oh, I feel the resonance. Do you? This might not be 432, though.
7.2 This is Matt McCusker. He is truly one of the most fascinating minds in standup comedy today, and I absolutely love him.
13.599 He is a stand-up comedian, an author, and one half of Matt and Shane secret podcast. He’s kind of just like a like a
19.359 hilarious Buddhist monk reincarnated into the body of a young black conservative. And today, we go through
25.039 everything. We talk about semen retention and fasting and eastern philosophies and why suffering is
30.56 actually good for you. We talk about the testosterone and steroid allegations which Matt vehemently denies and even
37.04 his, you know, mile challenge that he’s doing with Hos. This is an absolutely amazing episode. If you guys are fans of
43.04 Matt and Shane like me, you’re absolutely going to love it. And I hope you guys enjoy it half as much as I enjoyed having it. So, without further
49.2 ado, sit back, relax, and welcome to camp.
56.079 Wow. Wow. Wes. Matt McCusker. What’s up, brother? What up, bro? What’s up, Mark? How you doing? Thanks for joining me, dude. Thanks for having me, man.
61.92 In this beautiful narco paradise. This is awesome. Yeah, not too shabby. We’re just going to be out here cooking up a sweat for a
67.2 little bit. Drinking topo Chico. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think we’re officially uh officially
72.4 landscapers. Yeah, for real. I like how when it’s hot, the landscapers wear more clothing, though.
77.84 They dress like Fallout characters down here. It’s just like full on, full sleeves, face covering, visor.
83.52 They they got the shy on. Mhm. I’m like I like that. I like seeing them out there. Just I guess you got to keep the sun off you.
89.439 Yeah, literally just got to keep the sun off and wear like lightweight fabrics, I guess. Yeah. But yeah, I’m waiting. Two more years I’ll probably start wearing a shy.
95.84 Have you been doing doing some yard work now that you’re officially home? Little gardening. Little gardening. Are you a green thumb?
102.56 Uh not really honestly. I wish I was better, but I don’t know. I’m I’m good enough. What I do is I just plant a ton
109.439 of stuff and it’s just kind of like whatever thrives naturally, I kind of just roll with that because I just don’t have the time or patience to be like,
116.159 you know, I’ll read the seed packets. It’s like, you should plant it this time. It’s like, bro, it’s getting planted right now.
121.84 I’m not going to me I like they’re like measure them like, you know, one per inch. It’s like I’m throwing these everywhere.
127.2 You just got to leave it up to God sometimes. Pretty much. That’s how that’s how I garden. I had a wild sunflower take root and that thing’s been going nuts. So,
133.52 that’s been cool. And that’s God’s will. You know what I mean? You just throw some seeds out there and just be like, « Lord, whatever you destined for my yard, »
139.12 I, for real, I farm like a guy from like 3,000 years ago. I just stick my thumb in holes and just scatter seeds.
145.44 Yeah. And I pray, I go, « Please let my stuff grow. » I actually took some radishes in. That was my one yield. I got some
151.04 radishes. I feel like after like I tried doing this like just on my patio one day, just like getting little heirloom tomatoes.
157.12 Yeah. And you do that for a little bit and you’re like, « Dude, farming sucks. » Like I feel like we I feel like farming we really we really messed up.
163.599 It’s hard. This would be the hardest thing in the world. And then if like so many things can go wrong and you’re just
169.2 I feel like we peaked at hunting and gathering. Is that a crazy take? Yeah, definitely. Why?
174.56 For sure. We were hunter and gatherers. We were so dumb.
180.319 For real. We didn’t have any time to figure anything out. What do you mean? I feel like it was mostly time. I feel like it was mostly just like walking around grabbing a
185.92 berry. You know, you find a beaver, hit him in the head, eat him. Imagine if you got hungry and you were like, « This might be it. » Every time you
192.8 got hungry, you’re like, I might this might be the time my whole family and I die. Yeah, but you’re also fasting, you’re getting shredded along the way.
198.56 You’re definitely shredded. But also, if you you’re definitely shredded. No one’s denying that. But if you twist an ankle, like your whole family died.
205.12 If you like twisted an ankle and like fell in the woods. That is true. Fried. But pressure makes diamonds.
210.48 That’s true. No, that’s true. But then like Yeah. You like they were like keeping their ancestors skulls. Like you’d have like
216.0 your house you wouldn’t have a house. You’d have a mud hut with like your parents’ skulls. Yeah. laying there. Your wife stinks.
224.4 Your wife who smells so bad, dude. I just went to this doctor. I I didn’t go to the doctor. It was a
229.92 pediatrician we went to. And he was like, « Oh, yeah. Well, uh, a lot of kids are vitamin D deficient. » Yeah.
235.12 And I was like, « Oh, really? » He was like, « Yeah, and it’s not because of lack of sun. It’s because of all the soap we’re using. » And I was like, « Hang
240.64 on a second. » Damn, your pediatrician sounds actually cool. A lot of them are just kind of like, « No, he’s chill as hell. »
245.68 Yeah. Yeah. We had we had to seek him out. We had to find him. That’s Yeah, true. They’re they’re kind of a rarity. A lot of them are like, « If
251.12 you don’t do all this stuff, your kids are going to die. » Yeah. Yeah. No, that we didn’t have that cuz Did you have pediatricians with your
256.16 kids? They were like, « Yo, if you don’t do this, your kids are bad kids. » Yeah. Ours. And ours affiliates, she was actually very good, but she was like
262.479 pretty gung-ho. We had COVID babies. And they were like, « Oh, jab them. » And I was like, « Yeah,
268.0 we’ll wait. Let’s just see it through. » You know what I mean? See what happens. But they were She was good. Other than that, she was good. She was just heavy-handed. She’s like, « If you
274.08 don’t, » was I was like, « Ah, we’re going to wait on that. » She’s like, « Well, that’s fine. It’s totally up to you guys. your child runs a higher risk of
280.08 dying, so we just want to let you know. Like, all right, thanks, lady. Yeah, a nuance take, but she was good.
285.52 Our kid got sick a couple times, went to the hospital, and uh super Yeah, like two things at once, and
292.0 like you know, they’re giving you the old like h like we don’t really know what it is. And then like the pediatrician would
297.28 call us be like, « What is it? What did they say it was? » And they’re like, « They don’t know. » She’s like, « Dude, put me on the phone. » And she just
302.72 reamed them out. And then they actually ran the right test and figured out what it it was like a double it was like two different infections at once. That’s why
308.56 it was so bad. Damn. So they were able to figure out like bacterial versus viral and how you treat, you know. And yeah, the hospital,
314.4 children’s hospital. Have you been there yet with your baby? No, dude. Praise the Lord. That’s See, to answer your question
319.6 about Hunter Gathering, that’s when you go, « Oh, okay. » Yeah. Actually, societyy’s not all evil. The fact that
324.96 we have children’s hospitals is pretty [ __ ] awesome. Yeah. Terrifi. It’s so scary. It is sick as hell, honest honestly. But
331.84 I’ll just at this point I’ll just go to Chad GBT. True. I just talk to Chad GBT and just like yo here’s what I’m going through right now. Yeah. What what should I do?
337.52 My kids coughing up a storm. Is that is that chill or not? I think it’s pretty chill actually. And then Chad GB like he’s pretty good.
343.36 I don’t like the Chad GBT will like just stroke my ego too much though. Do you got to ask for brutal honesty? I will and then it’ll give me like two
349.199 answers of honesty and then by the third one it’s like but you’re a good dad. Do you lock You say you lock in and you can just be like bro stop fluffing me.
356.08 I know I’m a piece of [ __ ] Yeah. Did you stroke my [ __ ] right now? I need a piece of [ __ ] I need you to be a little more real. I did that. I tried
361.28 to use Chad to be my personal trainer and I was like, « Hey, be David Gogggins. Be Joa Willing. »
366.72 What did it say? It was like, « Yo, you’re a little bitch. » Like, « Get up in the morning. » But then after like three days, it was Oh, you said be I thought you said beat
372.96 them. I’m like, « Yeah. » I was like, « Whoa. » Yo, yo, for real, send a cyber attack
378.08 immediately to Gogggins. No, I said be them. I was like, « Pretend you’re David Gogggins. » Okay. And it was like pretty sick for like
383.919 three days, but then it got very uh I don’t know, became very sick of fantic immediately. And then it was just like,
389.44 « Yo, you’re good. just chill. Yeah, that’s nice. Well, you you can use it. I feel like it’s good for doing like I want to run the mile in this time. How
397.199 do I train for that? And it’ll be it’ll give you a good program. Oh, yeah. What’s your mile time right now? Right now, I got I might actually retest
402.96 tomorrow, but as of as of like a couple weeks ago, it was like 658. So, I got
408.319 I mean, that’s solid. It’s not bad. I’m trying to get down to like low sub seven. I mean, sub seven. Yeah, I got down to sub
413.36 seven. I mean, are you are you cooking for like 5ks? Not really. I’m just trying to like I
418.479 just like giving myself little fitness goals and like rather than just work if I just work out without like a point to
423.599 it, I don’t I’ll I just won’t really do it. But if it’s like let’s see how low I can get this down, it’s like I’ll
428.639 actually do it. There’s a an article I’ve read about this dude. He talks about this Japanese word for like a difficult thing to do,
435.039 like a challenging task. It’s a specific Japanese philosophy. I forget exactly what it is, but it’s basically like every year try
440.96 to create a super difficult task. If it’s like, hey, run a marathon in two and a half hours. like just like set a
446.479 goal for every year whe it’s like a physical task like some type of like personal thing that you want to achieve and just lock in on it for the year and
452.4 it makes things so much more fulfilling because now your diet is not just like oh I do this forever all the time. It’s like I’m working towards this one
458.479 specific personal goal. Yeah, man. I’ I’ve been trying to get shredded for like five years now and it’s just not been happening. I can’t I
465.36 can’t stop piging out. Oh yeah. But I I’ve actually I’ve shifted it. I don’t do instead of aesthetics I go just
471.44 performance based. That’s what helps me cuz if I like if I start seeing any results, I go, « Dude, it’s time. I can totally pig out
477.84 again. » So now I just go performance based where I just pig out, but I’m trying to step the performance up
483.599 to where like the physical goals are so hard that obviously aesthetic will just follow. I don’t even care.
488.8 You’re in a contest right now of running battle, a duel. And what is the what is the context of this duel?
493.919 Me verse my fat cousin. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, I’m going to win. I have If I don’t win, that’s going to be great shame on my family. But he’s he is a
500.56 psycho. He was a D1 wrestler. I think he was D1. I’m not sure. But he was he was definitely he wrestled in college and uh he is an absolute
506.879 psychopath. So what weight class? Heavyweight. I told you he’s a fat fat cousin. I mean I feel like cars cars are in your
513.68 favor right now. You know what I mean? I don’t know. I don’t know what uh I don’t know. He was probably he probably wrestled because I know wrestlers are
519.599 kind of weirdos where they like really shed a lot of weight. Yeah. If I had to guess he would wrestle at like one, you know, back in his prime
525.839 before he was fat and like 40ome. Uh he probably wrestled at like 175ish if
531.519 that’s a thing. Yeah. And he’s pulling sub seven miles right now. No, he’s he’s doing like he’s getting
537.44 close though. He’s doing like eight. But it’s a if it were three miles he could have a chance to beat me cuz I’m not
542.48 good on the distance. And when is this going when is the the thrill in Philly? I’m doing a show in Atlantic City. I think August 16th or 18th, I forget. So
550.24 then we’re he’s down the beach right around Atlantic City. So, we’re I’m going to get a beach house there like a
556.08 couple days after the show and chill with my family and just race him and just lock in. Just lock I’m already locked in right now. I might skip the show and AC just
563.36 to run and train. You seem more dialed today than I’ve ever seen you. I’m dialed, dude. It’s crazy. I don’t
568.88 know what happened. I mean, dude, everyone everyone hates that I talk about this, but dude, I I gave up masturbating for life. I’ll never do it
574.72 ever again. When was the last time you you got a stroke, dude? It must have been like at least a
580.399 month and a half, two months ago. Respect. Yeah. And and it’s like that’s another thing. I’ve been trying and people are
585.44 like we’re sick of hearing about this. It’s like I I mean dude, imagine if you stop jerking off for the rest of your
591.6 life. It’s great. Every day wake up. Dude, you’re preaching the choir over here, dude. I’ I’ve quit masturbating. I It’s It’s pretty easy to do. It is.
597.279 I’ve quit masturbating a hundred times, you know? Like every couple every time I do it, dude. I don’t know what happened. A flip
602.8 switch and I go like, « Yeah, I’m never going to do that again. » And like even it’ll like I’ll think about it and it’s like, « Dude, you know, that’s kind of
608.56 weird. Don’t don’t even I mean, do you remember the final beat though? » Yeah, it was like any other one. It was
613.6 just kind of like hotel room. Obviously, I’m [ __ ] traveling for standup. Just I couldn’t sleep. I beat myself
619.68 absolutely silly. And it was just kind of like that’s not it. You got to frame that video.
625.839 Whatever the final beat was, right, dude. This is the final spillage. You know what I mean? Put it up in your office in your compound.
632.24 You got I really I genuinely don’t remember. It was just like it was just I was just in a porn hole. I was in a goonhole online
638.88 just [ __ ] just scrolling through. Dude, I’ve been trying to get off it for a while, dude. So, when you have kids, you have
644.959 to. That’s my thing. Wait, why? You can’t be Here’s You can You can jerk off if you don’t have kids. It doesn’t
650.24 matter. Yeah. Once you have kids, you cannot watch porn and masturbate because if your kids catch you doing that, it’s going to [ __ ]
655.6 their whole life up. Yeah. It ruins everything. It ruins everything. Yeah. And it’s also like just gross.
661.04 There is a little If you don’t have a kid, it doesn’t m It doesn’t matter. You can do whatever you want. catch a
666.32 beat on a weekend, whatever you want to do every day when you wake up. It literally there’s no I mean the morning beat. I mean, you
671.92 might as well just go back to sleep. You know what I mean? It kind of just sucks the wind out of your sales. Yeah, you should you should call a
677.279 doctor on the way. Talk to Chad JBT. It’s like, dude, keep beating, dude. Keep on stroking it. No,
682.88 be David Gogggins. Keep stroking. Yeah, people People People are mad. I don’t want to hear about this anymore. It’s like, that’s fine. Again, it doesn’t matter. You can do whatever you
688.64 want. If you don’t have kids, knock yourself out. But it’s like once you have kids, you can’t you just can’t be a
694.0 porn dad. It’s just weird. Yeah. Yeah. It’s not a great look. No. Did you have like friends whose like dads had porn like hidden that you could
699.839 like find? None that I respected. Exactly. Literally. Exactly. It’s just weird. It’s just a weird thing.
705.68 Yeah. I never liked it. We would sometimes find porno mags in the woods. That was kind of chill. That’s fine. Like as a kid, you
710.88 That was also because of porn dads had to hide. Think about that. Yo, that’s a good point. So many children would see weird porn
716.64 because [ __ ] porn dads would go out in the woods like cowards and beat off. actually going to the woods that
722.399 actually that’s kind of I can respect that like taking it outside the like a dog that shits like really far away from
730.399 this is the me time. You know what I mean? That’s why so many kids found porn like literally that and that’s what I’m trying to say. It’s like those porn dads
737.36 back in the 90s or whenever literally gave children porn. They didn’t do it like a pedophile would do it, but
742.72 they gave it like how we gave weapons to Afghanistan. Ex. Yeah, in a way. We just deserted. We left them there and
748.8 the Taliban was like, « Dude, how do you turn these things on? » They’re like, « It’s too hot. We got to get the [ __ ] out of here. » Yeah, man.
754.079 And the Taliban was like, « Dude, free tanks. That’s sick as hell. » I know. They didn’t They weren’t ready for them either. They shouldn’t have
759.6 them. I Dude, I want I want to see that. I feel like that’s like 2001 Space Odyssey. You know what I mean? When the Taliban got all the tanks?
766.079 Yeah, dude. Did they do some videos of them like [ __ ] around with them? Yeah. They were just like, « Dude, how do you Also, uh,
771.36 where’s the charger for this? » I feel like, do they still have those tanks? cuz I I feel like someone swooped in there and just snagged those things
777.92 middle of the night. Cuz if I’m Russia and I hear the Taliban has tanks, I’m going they’re mine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
783.04 They I if I had a guess, someone was like, « Yeah, give me that to get the [ __ ] out of here. » Probably. I mean, that’s what I would
788.16 do. Yeah. If I was if I was any other I mean, maybe America did it. I don’t know. Can’t be letting these boys roll around or sick whip.
794.0 I don’t I don’t think they know how to use them either. I mean, I don’t know how to use them. That’s what I’m saying. I don’t have If you deserted a billion dollars worth
800.079 of tanks in my yard, they would just still be there. Yeah, I might. Yeah, literally. I don’t know how to I would sell them at an antique shop.
805.92 I’d be like, « Do you guys want these? » I don’t know. Scrap them. You could scrap them. I don’t even know how to do that. You just have to have someone come by,
812.16 you know, hunks moving junk and be like, « Yo, do you all want this? » I wouldn’t know what to do with it. But no, I’m with you on the porn thing,
818.079 dude. I don’t know. I It’s not a popular take. No one It’s not like a cool position to be. People get mad. They get mad. They go, « We don’t want to [ __ ] you. This is all
823.6 you ever talk about. » I’m like, « Dude, it’s it’s crazy. It’s crazy. » Did like literally turn the page of your life for
829.12 you? Yeah. Like cuz I could never understand it when I was younger. Like if dude if I had porn my parents would
834.24 freak out and I’d be like why are they so [ __ ] annoying about porn like shut up. Oh yeah. Then you come then you know once you have kids you’re like yeah this is this
840.56 is bad. You shouldn’t have that in your house. Yeah. I mean there’s the the the seam of retent which is nice. You know what I mean? You get a little little little
846.24 boost little focus. That’s dude that that’s the bigger thing really. You know whatever porn is whatever but it’s like especially being
852.24 in a long-term relationship for me that was always the wedge. I was such a [ __ ] brat the entire time. I’m like,
858.8 no matter what was going on, I’d be like, I should be having sex more. And then being able to be like, and I I
864.079 really think it’s just getting older, but being able to like in a relationship like that, be like, I’m not even going
869.92 to apply any pressure on that front. I’m just going to retain and just And also, again, it’s an
875.519 effective reverse psychology on your wife to be like, yo, I don’t even care, bro. For real. You just let me know. Tag me in.
880.56 Yeah. This note is mine. Yeah. Exactly. Even if you don’t want it, I’m going to keep it. Almost almost kind of like
885.6 I’m taking my ball and going home. I guess we Well, and it’s that and it’s even like, yeah, I guess we can have I
891.199 guess we can have sex. Like, I’m going to lose some of my power, which I’m kind of not exactly stoked about, but you know, I took a vow and I will break you
897.6 off. Technically, I swore before God that I
903.04 would load you up with a nut every now and again. It’s like, you know, you don’t have any of this stuff, so I should I’ll give you a little bit, but don’t I could do
909.6 Don’t get used to it. But, dude, I’m telling you, it’s it’s a I don’t know, man. It’s just a weird thing. And it also I feel like it streamlines your
916.0 mind too. Like when you’re like cuz you know I’m like I’m I’m in like an office. I I sit there all day and I write. When
922.24 I have a goon brain it’s just like I’m writing writing writing and then it’s like every 10 seconds like is it time to
927.279 goon? And it’s like no come on man it’s not time. And then it’s just like writing writing right. You tell yourself you’re like dude once I just I just crack a bee real quick
933.199 then I’ll be good. And then you get back there it’s like an hour later and you’re like exactly I’m not doing anything.
938.48 Yeah. Exactly. But your goon brain’s like no no no you just need one rip and then you’ll be fine. That’s what I’m trying to say, man. It’s I don’t know. The main thing
945.76 was was like for some reason I had a deep-seated belief that like if I were
952.32 to reach a level of like, you know, if so many days would go by without me spilling, I would be like so angry. Like
959.12 it was like a deep injustice that I’d be like, how how dare, you know, my wife or if I wasn’t with
966.399 anyone like I should be spraying. Like why? And then like when that goes away, you’re just like, « Yeah, I’m just free
971.6 to do my thing. » And then and then it comes around and you’re ready. Cuz I don’t know if you’ve ever been there before. If you’re in a relationship and you’re like, « I
978.079 don’t think I’m getting any [ __ ] tonight. I’m going to fap. » And then what you do and then it’s, you know, just some weird coincidence. Your babes
984.24 like, « Let’s have sex. » And you’re like, « Fuck. » Oh, every time, dude. [ __ ] I [ __ ] [ __ ] soft penis. We
990.56 haven’t had sex in a week now. Yeah. Yeah. That’s every time. I like I’ve got caught slipping like that. I’m like, I can’t get caught
996.399 slipping like that ever again, man. There’s so many times with my with my my sweet lady that I if I’m if I’m on a
1002.8 retention wave and I just like proposition that she’s like, « Yeah, for sure. » And it kind of catches me off guard. I’m like, « Wait, that’s all it took? » And
1008.72 she’s like, « Yeah, dude. 100 100%. » That’s what I’m saying. But if I just go the easy way, get the cheap dope. You know what I mean?
1014.399 They know when you’re gooned. They absolutely know. And they and they catch you on it. You know what I mean? I just think that’s God’s will. Once again,
1020.0 I remember I remember my uh my wife hit me with that. She was like I was like, « Dude, I’m traveling. I’m by myself. »
1026.16 Obviously, this is when I had goon brain, but I’m like, I’m just gonna like she would be like, she would tell me like, don’t jerk off in the hotel. And
1032.16 I’m like, I’m going to jerk off in the hotel. Yeah. She was like, « Fine, if you do it, don’t look at porn. » I was like, « What the
1038.079 [ __ ] the point of it then? » She’s like, « Why do you have to do that? » And I was like, « What are you talking about? » No, I did that for a little bit. I just
1044.079 did just just fantasy brain. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And that that’s It also doesn’t feel
1049.52 great, you know? No. It’s weird. That can take Well, two things. It’s like when you go pure imagination mode,
1057.2 it’s like Willy Wonka. There’s no safe search on it. Like nobody knows what I’m up to.
1062.88 Yeah. You don’t have the FCC blocking you. You’re also just remembering porns in your brain. I would just be trying to remember porns.
1068.64 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s just your It’s just your own AI. It’s your own internal AI just coming up with stuff. But either way, sorry. I That’s how I
1075.12 get tons of [ __ ] for talking about people always like we don’t want to hear about their [ __ ] anymore. It’s like I mean not to mention I I also am like
1080.799 porn is a pretty tough industry to defend. Evil. It’s a it’s a name one woman who’s thrived and came
1087.12 out on the other end. Sasha Gray was in an Eminem video.
1092.559 That’s best case scenario. Best case scenario is to appear beside the rap devil. That’s top of the mountain.
1099.44 Other than that it’s like suicide, drug overdose or you just look they get
1105.039 wrecked, dude. Porn stars. Yeah. It literally I don’t know what it is, but like they age so [ __ ] fast.
1112.32 Yeah. No, it’s an insidious industry and I do think it is a little bit of a there’s a some depravity of of the human
1118.4 will that goes into it, you know? Like there’s there’s a little breakdown of what is this really what’s good for humans? I
1124.0 don’t know. But I also grew up Catholic, so I’ve shamed I have a bad compass for this stuff. Like I never had a guilt-free nut in my
1129.6 life, you know? Never. Even now. You know what I mean? I will have consensual sex with my wife for the
1135.039 purpose of procreation and I’ll get off of it and be like, « Yeah, was that good? » Like, I gotta check.
1140.16 That was too loud. Yeah, we ripped doggy on this one. Like, I don’t know if that was in God’s divine
1145.2 plan here. No, for me that’s that stuff is fine. I don’t it it’s the uh the thing that kind of freaks me especially with the Only
1151.44 Fans because now it’s like I I don’t I don’t know many like you
1156.88 know smoking hot college age chicks but I imagine there’s got to be a temptation if you’re like a super super hot and
1164.32 your Instagram’s kind of popping. I’d imagine there’s a temptation that’s there to monetize like sex stuff that
1170.64 really wasn’t there before Only Fans. Oh yeah. And and that’s that’s where I’m like that’s like that’s evil. That’s bad. And then
1176.4 the pipeline is like you get into it and you’re like, I’m just going to do F feet. And you do F feet for a little bit and you’re like, all right, I the followers are falling off. You know what
1182.32 I mean? I got to create shareholder value over here. You know, I’m a pure capitalist. We have Q3 KPIs I got to lock in on. You know what I mean? And
1188.48 then you turn to like a business magnate and you’re like, « All right, fine. I’ll just get into, you know, some like like lingerie. »
1194.4 Yeah. Well, dude, what’s And then you’re getting triple DPD, you know what I mean? Yeah. That all comes and it’s also like, dude, if if you’re like, I’m going to do
1200.08 that for some quick money and get out. Again, I don’t I’m not like sitting here like it’s fundamentally evil, but it’s like if your goal is like, « All right, I
1207.36 want to have kids or whatever. » It’s like, « Okay, whatever. » Again, whatever. Do whatever you want. But like if you have done porn before and now you’re
1213.679 having kids, it’s like I don’t know, man. That’s a rough cell. Unless like your kid is just so cool and
1219.52 understanding, which is like I don’t know who’s that chill about naked mom. Yeah. No, naked mom is a tough cell for
1225.52 any kid. I know. Naked mom DP possibly. But also like you do hear these women
1230.72 that are like I I gained financial freedom and like I live in a penthouse in Miami and this is exactly what I wanted. I’m like all right if that’s
1236.4 your thing I’m not going to say no. I I question that too. It’s like okay yeah financial freedom it’s cool if
1242.4 you’re like running from a pimp. But if you’re like [ __ ] like if you went to college it’s like yo dude you can do this. You can totally do this by getting
1248.799 a job too. You don’t have to show your butthole to strangers. Yeah. No I mean you’re preaching the
1254.0 choir here. You know what I mean? Yeah. But again, I I always acknowledge I grew up Catholic, so I I feel probably like I am sexually repressed, so I’m not
1259.84 always the best person to discuss, you know, like I like I was just telling my buddy the other day, I was like, « Dude, I’ve I used to be still horny when I was
1266.96 a kid, and I would try not to catch a beat. » And I used to like I would pray for wet dreams.
1272.159 I still do, but yeah. Go like the wet dream. Like I remember like checking in with like like my pastor and
1278.32 I was like, « Is that true? » Yeah. Is that like what’s the what’s the ruling on this? What’s the what’s the verdict? Yeah. What is there precedent for this
1284.72 case? What did he say? And he was like, « Dude, that’s that’s just a freebie. » And I was like, « All right, sick. » So, I would go to bed just bricked and I would
1290.799 just like my parents when I was 14, they got like an Apple eye touch for me. Oh, dude. Which is exactly what I did.
1296.72 The Apple I touch myself. That’s like, dude, this is like Steve Jobs wanted me to do this,
1301.919 dude. The video I was just talking to someone about this. Yeah. The video iPods were just
1307.76 porn. Yeah, they’re porn machines. They’re tiny. You’re like a tiny thumbnail. Yeah. Porn machine. And then
1314.0 you can sometimes listen to music if you want to, but it is a porn machine. Yeah. It’s I never had I never had one.
1319.039 I mean, that’s not to say I didn’t want one when I was younger, but it was like Your parents knew. No, they did. I just didn’t have an I
1324.4 never had an iPod until like my brother gave me one. It was like an old, you know, the big boy. I don’t think I had
1329.84 video capabilities. Damn. But yeah, I mean that [ __ ] rocked my world and I would just lay in bed just be like, « God, just
1335.679 please anything. Just back up a Latina on me. I just I need this right now. » True. Please. I’ve been working hard. My
1341.6 my thing is like, you know, because there is like, you know, maybe it’s just my Catholic guilt, but it’s like I’m not
1346.72 particularly like dogmatic about any religion, but if you just for me, when I look at stuff like that, I’m like, all
1352.0 right, so if we you do have to repress, there’s no way you you can’t have like a
1357.12 society without being somewhat repressed because you got to repress some things. Like you have to repress violence. Like
1362.4 you can’t have a society without repressing violence. you have to repress sex because it’s like first of all like
1367.6 you can’t obviously it’s like everyone can agree like yeah you can do that. Yeah. So it’s like it does have to be you know
1374.799 like you have to set boundaries and limitations and like yeah this idea where people are like like I I read
1381.6 something on Substack where ladies like people tell me I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t eat as much as I want. I shouldn’t have sex whenever I want. It’s
1386.88 like yeah you shouldn’t. Like I’m not again it’s not like shame on you but it’s like it’s just not a good idea. Especially if you’re a lady it’s like
1392.32 dude if you get knocked up you’re [ __ ] Yeah. Like a guy should be there, but some guys don’t. And it’s like I don’t know.
1397.76 Yeah. And it’s not only on women. Like I think obviously women feel the brunt of it largely because society we live in, but I do think men hold the burden as
1404.32 well where they’re like, « Yeah, you also shouldn’t just be like raw dogging every seven you see, you know? » No. That dude, that’s why I’m the I go
1413.28 to the gym around here and it’s just like I mean it’s like almost a joke. you see just like complete yoga wedgie pants
1421.44 with like the butt cupers and I think they’re doing it for the guys because the dudes are so desensitized that it’s like I think you need to now just keep
1428.559 you got to be like almost naked to have a guy be like oh wow dude that’s my biggest fear at the gym I go to it’s like you get a lot of
1434.0 influencers pop in a lot of influencers hitting the back squat and then they got the camera set up and then my dumb ass
1439.76 is just in the corner just barely hanging out I’m like oh god I’m going to be on some girl’s Tik Tok clip just jaw
1445.2 open like exactly No, I I got to ask her like, « Can you blur my face? » Yeah. Can you Yeah. Like I didn’t sign a
1451.2 release. No, I I I go to my gym and I keep it just completely dialed in. I just try to
1457.2 just ignore everything cuz, you know, cuz it’s also just like I don’t know. It’s totally understandable to be like
1463.279 cuz I when I can see a woman’s nipples when she doesn’t wear a bra, my brain stem shuts down for like 5
1470.159 seconds. And not like, « Oh, I [ __ ] I [ __ ] love. » It’s just it for real destabilizes my thoughts.
1475.2 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, it’s not like one of those things like, « Oh, it’s wrong. You shouldn’t do that. » But I’m like, you’re punching me in the head. You’re putting a [ __ ] Yeah. You’re putting a burden on me that like I
1481.36 didn’t ask for it. I’m just trying to like trying to I’m trying I’m not trying to jerk out. I’m trying to work out.
1486.48 I meant to say work jerk. It’s for slip obviously. Coming to the gym trying to work out and I’ll go to the gym with my
1492.48 wife and she’ll be like, « The [ __ ] is going on here? » I’m like, « Babe, [ __ ] only gym in the area. We get a discount.
1498.96 Like, we need to come here. So, just be chill. Just look me in the eyes the entire time. We’ll make it through this. We
1505.039 will do curls facing each other. Yeah. But then they have their male counterparts. It’ll be guys shirtless, juiced up.
1510.24 Yeah. [ __ ] just absolutely jacked. Yeah. Yeah. People have been [ __ ] sailing the dick print lately and it’s that’s got to
1516.72 stop. That’s [ __ ] for real got to stop. It’s a weird arms race. It’s like dude, nobody’s going to win this,
1521.76 dude. The baby arms race. It’s a crazy look. But yeah, for real.
1526.88 [ __ ] [ __ ] When do we stop? You know what I mean? I mean, it’ll probably like everything kind of goes in cycles and reverts. So,
1532.96 I don’t know. I I I’m just I am just act like literally getting older cuz I’ll see women now who are like somewhat
1539.44 conservatively dressed at the gym and I’m like good. There we go. There’s a good girl.
1546.48 You see all this like conservative Twitter [ __ ] where it’s like Muslims are taking over America and you’re like nice. Hell yeah. That’s what we need. We
1552.88 need more nibs. We need more hijabs. I mean again it’s like I don’t ever have like I don’t really feel like moral
1558.559 outrage about it. I’m not like shame on you. I totally understand the drive towards all that. monkey brain’s
1563.6 lighting up. Yeah. Just Exactly. It’s like, bro, my monkey brain’s lighting up. I’m trying to I don’t know. I I feel like that’s
1569.6 that’s one of my number one goals in life is like just to I’m not like, you
1575.12 know, I don’t like to try to like sound like a lot of people talk about like, you know, spiritual stuff where they’re
1580.64 like, I want to like completely shed my ego. Get out of the matrix. Yeah. Whatever. I don’t think about it like that. But it’s like if there is if
1587.2 there are some inner adjustments I can make just to make my life like 20% easier, that’s what I’m after.
1592.72 Yeah. And it’s like I do think as you get older, like again, I’m I’m [ __ ] I’ll be 40
1598.08 next year. I have two kids. It just doesn’t fit into like what I’m doing to be like an absolute [ __ ] goblin and
1604.88 being like, « Oh, [ __ ] Oh fuck. » It just it would literally [ __ ] my whole life up. Yeah. Yeah. And it just it just like
1610.159 it’s one of those things where as you get older like if if and this is just my perspective, but if it’s like if I were
1617.76 at 40 to be like orienting myself around purely worldly goals at one point you
1623.679 just become kind of a joke cuz like you know if you were like an old you can become an older wealthy guy but it’s
1628.96 like what am I going to [ __ ] college chicks? It’s like it’s [ __ ] pathetic. It’s just weird. It’s just kind of weird
1635.039 and then it’s like I should be hanging out with my kids and I’m like I have a hot new girlfriend. Girls, please understand you’re dead. It’s just like
1641.76 Yeah, you kind of missed it. If you can work on like shedding that now, I think you can have actually a
1646.88 better life as an older person, which nobody really cares about. Everyone wants to have like a cooler life now. Yeah. But I’m I’m kind of overindexing on like
1653.279 the a very chill life as like a 56 year old. That was kind of my calculation. I don’t
1659.2 know. Like I was like, dude, I’m going to have a kid at 28. Sick. We we were going to have some earlier and then you know some issues but I was like having a baby at 28 all
1665.84 my friends were like dude you’re psychotic. No it’s a move. I was like this [ __ ] is awesome. I’m still young. I still got energy. I can I
1671.279 can wrestle with them. I wish I had kids earlier. That was my thing. I mean it’s like I’m glad I didn’t cuz I was an absolute maniac. But
1676.48 it was like you also need the right gal. Yes. Big. You mean the galdom is big on that. So you got to like find the right one. Like
1682.159 I would never pressure someone to be like yeah dude have kids young and it don’t it don’t matter. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. No. It could be it could get
1688.08 very bad and very ugly. Yeah. What’s up guys? We’re going to take a break really quick because we got merch.
1693.279 go to bed and like or just like if I catch like 10 minutes, I’ll try to just like actively work on slowing my mind.
1795.6 During co I did it like a lot. Yeah. And I I got like way better at like dude, I used to like for real like break
1801.279 [ __ ] Like I would get so angry. Oh, really? Oh, dude, I was a monster. I would like especially when me and my wife were
1806.48 first together. We first were like living in a house. We were like having our She was pregnant, dude. We get in
1812.72 arguments. I would [ __ ] like throw an olive oil bottle at the wall. I was bad. I was [ __ ] man. I was an Italian domestic violence.
1818.399 I was just an Irish spaz. It was so bad. The olive oil. I was so I dude never smash olive oil.
1824.799 It never came out. I I put primer over it. I I put spackle. I did everything. And those little oil spots would bleed
1831.2 through and every now and again she would just go, « Yeah, it didn’t work. » And I it just remind me of my rage and
1836.88 I’d be like, « Fuck. » But that’s like a serious problem. Something poetic about it, though. Just
1842.64 something beautiful about seeing the oil seep through just as a remnant of your anger. I had oil in my ceiling and I actually
1848.32 chipped. We had It wasn’t hardwood, but it was like, you know, those like fake hardwood floors that are like composite plastic.
1853.679 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I spiked a mug and it [ __ ] chipped the floor. So, I had a chip on my floor that I covered shamefully with a rug and
1860.24 I had a [ __ ] olive oil splatters in my ceiling that would like bleed through paint. And it was just some weird thing
1865.76 I I just never really figured out or dealt with. And then that’s where meditation helped me cuz I learned to like I would get angry and I remember it
1873.2 vividly. I’d be on like we had like carpeted steps in our house in Philly. She would do something that would piss me off and I would just be like, you
1879.2 know, you get angry and you’re like you don’t even think about it. You’re like I’m about to say a bunch of [ __ ] that pisses her off now cuz [ __ ] her. Now I’m
1886.0 mad at her. It’s, you know, obviously like it’s all her fault, you know, whatever. That’s what you’re thinking. And then I
1891.52 do remember like learning how to like stop and just like especially when you want to break [ __ ]
1897.279 and just letting that feeling like course through your body and then the first couple times that it like comes
1902.88 and goes, you’re like, « Holy [ __ ] I just averted like a three-day drawn out argument. »
1908.72 Wow. Just because I was able to go like slow down and be like, « Yeah, dude, you’re pissed right now, but
1914.0 you’re not a [ __ ] toddler. You can’t spaz. Interesting. It’s kind of the same thing as goon brain. You know what I mean?
1919.279 It’s equal. Same thing. It’s just lizard brain taking the helm. Yeah. I’m I’m grateful I never had that. I never had like uh like anger. I always
1926.08 went internal. I was just like, « Oh, I suck. I’m an idiot. I’m the worst. » You know, which is not healthy either.
1931.279 I would externalize that. Like, you’re a [ __ ] idiot. You suck. I’m going to break something down to show you that you’re an idiot.
1936.559 I’m doing an endzone dance, dude. I’m [ __ ] spiking this thing. Yeah, that’s that’s that’s tough.
1942.08 No, I’m telling you, the meditation helped. got real into like, you know, and it’s like it’s like that cliche thing where like I got into Eastern
1947.76 philosophy, but like dude, some of that [ __ ] is [ __ ] awesome, man. Like there’s a reason it existed for 4,000 years or whatever.
1953.039 Yeah, dude. And like there was the one thing there was uh I forget I forget what it was from. I like I read
1958.48 obviously not all the Uponads, but I read like a book that had like selected different things. There was one thing they like a passage in there that I
1964.96 thought was [ __ ] awesome. It was like this guy I don’t there’s always like two dudes is like talking but he was explaining the self is like a horsedrawn
1971.679 carriage and there’s your senses are the horses. So you have the horses are pulling the thing and if you know if your senses are running the show you’re
1978.32 going to cra like you have horses going this way one horse going that way it’s [ __ ] chaos. So then you have a guy just kind of whipping horses. That’s
1984.32 like your ego being like, « Hey guys, knock it off. » And it’s just like this, you’re just like kind of just, you know, it’s like this violence on violence
1990.24 thing where you’re just kind of like angrily trying to get these external or this these internal impulses that are
1995.519 completely out of control trying to run in the show and it’s like this feedback loop where, you know, it’s just like it’s just not working. You have an
2001.12 illquipped person who’s he can like, you know, he can hold the reins of the horse, but he has no idea how to like
2006.72 truly navigate. And the whole point of the story was there’s a rider inside of the caravan and that’s your like they
2012.559 call like your real self or whatever and you need to like wake that inner thing up that can actually watch your mind
2018.72 work from within your mind. Yeah, if that makes sense. You can watch like oh I’m thinking this thing but just
2023.76 because I’m thinking it doesn’t mean a it’s you know reality. It’s like this is just my thoughts. They could be so
2028.88 wrong. They probably are. And that like getting that ability to like get distance within your own mind and be
2034.08 like yeah I’m pissed right now. I’m having all these things. I want to do all these things. I’m noticing myself having them. And then you can just kind
2039.679 of like let go. And that’s, you know, they say it’s like your higher self or whatever. Yeah. I mean, that one that struck that one was like a
2045.519 goal mine for me. I was like, « Oh, yeah. I should maybe have, you know, I need a deeper level of myself to kind of these ponies under control. »
2051.359 Yeah. These ponies under control. I need the goon horses are the goon horses, the anger horses are all out of control. The the person that
2057.839 I’m, you know, my level of awareness is just like spazzing like, « Stop, stop, stop. » Yeah. Yet the rider has to wake up and be
2064.24 like, « Bro, it’s out. » Basically, it’s like this is outside of your pay grade for like steering my life consciously.
2069.679 Yeah, of course. Cuz like now you’re just angry at yourself for being angry. Like your senses will spike up. You’re angry. You can’t control your emotions.
2075.679 These are external things that get put into your subconscious. Now you’re mad through childhood trauma just the way that you are. And now you’re mad at
2081.44 yourself for being mad. Yeah. And then that doesn’t help. Yeah. You go, « Oh, [ __ ] I [ __ ] up again. » [ __ ] Yeah. And then you’re pissed off, dude.
2087.919 I mean, Daniel Conorman, you ever read him? He’s like a behavioral economist. He has a similar thing where it’s like system one and system two thinking.
2093.839 system one, it might be flip-flop, but system one is basically like he describes like an elephant and a guy on top of the elephant. Yeah.
2099.44 And like your system one is like the that’s the that’s the rider. That’s your act of thought. Yeah. And that’s like what you like ought to
2104.96 be almost like Kant. It’s like that’s like who you aspire to be. And then you have the elephant which is like your
2110.32 system two and that’s kind of like your passive subconscious. And eventually the rider will get tired and then your
2117.04 system two takes over and basically you have to train your system two into doing the actions of your system one. And
2122.72 that’s through like, you know, immersion and like sort of constant behavioral constant behavioral like repatterning.
2129.28 Yeah, that’s the same. The Zen has the same thing with like the ox hurting. Do you ever see that? Like there’s like six pictures and it’s a guy in the woods
2134.96 being like just chilling. Then he sees like the footprints of an ox and he discovers the ox and he’s like, « What
2140.0 the [ __ ] is this? » He has to tame the ox and he gets to ride the ox back home to his village and he’s like, « I’ve, you
2145.76 know, conquered my inner weird stuff. » So I I it can be possible. Well, it’s one of those things where I think people
2151.359 the tr the trouble is people go I’ve conquered it 1,000%. And it’s like no you didn’t. So it
2157.92 if you can get if you can get five huge victory. Yeah. You know what I mean? Especially with like nerve that’s the other thing with
2163.2 anxiety it’s another one where it’s like especially for doing like when I started headlining I would do shows and like I I
2168.4 would get to a green room and there my initial thoughts would be like this is wrong. I’m bad. This isn’t the
2175.04 right place. I’m going to ruin this. I’m going to [ __ ] this up. Yeah. Then I’d have to go perform and like make people laugh. And like that’s
2181.2 how I feel. I’m like, « This is not good. » So just learning how to be like, « Yeah, I actually am very nervous right now, but you know, it’s fine. I’m just going
2187.119 to do what I got to do. » And you know, eventually that like just all goes away. But it’s just I feel bad when people
2192.64 never learn how to like get past that stuff because you genuinely can. That’s my big thing cuz
2198.72 everyone’s like, « Oh, well, you just think you become like a floating on a cloud m. » It’s like, « No, dude. Your life will still be very hard, but
2205.04 yeah, you can definitely make it better for yourself. » Yeah. You never reach what is it in in Hinduism the what
2211.119 enlightenment or like mti or mosha mosha mosha yeah like you never like reach it ultimately like you reach it when you
2216.72 when you die but like the the whole purpose is trying to like get close to that perfect form or maybe some people do I don’t know
2222.96 it’s like I’m I’m going to try to do it that’s my goal but it’s like I don’t know I don’t again it’s it’s just for me
2228.88 it’s just one of those things where it’s like like I did it last night I like woke up in the middle of the night to get my kids I’m like [ __ ] I’m not going to fall asleep I’m going to be tired and
2235.76 then what I usually do is go [ __ ] dude. Chill out. Stop freaking out. And then I try to like make myself not spaz, which
2242.64 just freaks me out even more. Of course, you’re trying to tame the horses. Yeah. And I just laid there and I was like, « Yeah, I’m [ __ ] spazzing. I might not fall asleep. » And I just laid
2248.72 there and I just was like, « Whatever. » And then [ __ ] pass out. And yeah. So yeah, it’s that’s a big one, man. Like learning how to
2254.24 Well, that’s how I view fitness the same way cuz I love working out, but like I don’t do it for women. Like everyone all
2260.16 my friends are like, « Dude, like you’re already married. Like what what’s the point? » And I’m like, well, the point is just like daily like doing something
2265.599 difficult every single day and like trying to get better at doing hard things. Yeah, dude. And it’s like I also just
2272.48 feel like [ __ ] if I don’t work out. Oh, yeah. Of course. And I will say I love I flex on my wife
2277.52 all the time. When I’m getting any gains, I stand cuz we have like a you know the setup in the
2282.72 bathroom. It’s like her sink, my sink. I just stand in her mirror. She brushes her teeth and I’m like, « Bro, look at my [ __ ] back. »
2288.079 You are so lucky. You got this [ __ ] barrel of snakes out in the bed next to you. That’s like literally verbatim what I
2293.44 hit her with. I’m like, « How do you deal with this? » She’s like, « Shut the [ __ ] up. Shut up. » I actually I um I was talking to her
2300.88 last night and I again I have been lifting. I I’m what I I’m just cuz I you
2306.0 know I’m obviously goals oriented in terms of like performance and maybe my body’s adapting. I don’t even pay
2311.359 attention. I don’t know. But people have been like, « Dude, you’re getting jacked, man. » And like I’ve been we went out last night with some of our friends from
2316.48 the neighborhood and uh some of the husbands were just teasing me being like, « Dude, what the [ __ ] man? What are you doing? » And I was telling her,
2322.4 we’re like, you know, end of the night, we just got back from hanging out and uh I was like, « Dude, I » I was like, « I I
2328.0 really wish like, you know, my friends would stop like pointing out the fact that my shoulders have gotten bigger. It makes me feel really weird. » I was like, « Can you send a message to like all
2334.079 their wives to like tell them something? » She’s like, « You’re such a [ __ ] idiot. Shut up. »
2339.92 No, I didn’t put this on Facebook immediately. Just like you put it in like the HOA group chat. You know what I mean? Like, hey guys, been getting a lot
2345.28 of compliments by my jack physique and my godly body. It’ be possible just kind of cut down on that. You know what I mean? Like, I don’t comment on your fat,
2351.68 fugly body, so maybe it’s returning kind. I kept telling her, I’m like, I feel like a girl with huge tits. I’m like,
2356.96 it’s not cool. I’m I’m also not I have do not have that. Like, no, no, no. You’re never being the trend allegations.
2362.8 I’m telling you, I swear to God, I’m open for the test at any time. You test me. We’re getting USADA. We’re getting USAD
2368.8 out here. Please imagine if I pulled out. If I just got the if I got Dana to come out and test real quick, dude. Right. I I will do it right now.
2375.44 No, we got to we got to check. You’re on the creatine. Yeah, I am on the creat macro dose. Uh yeah, I’ve been [ __ ] with the
2380.64 macro. You saw the you saw the same Instagram post I saw. It was like, dude, 20 grams a day. You’re never going to be tired every day.
2385.92 I I know a guy who does 40, but the uh I it was just from Twitter. My friend was ripping my friend Egan. He was the one
2392.24 who opened my eyes to the core. He goes because I was doing like, you know, the regular five. It does do something to your brain.
2397.68 You’re doing [ __ ] [ __ ] dude. Five. Five’s nothing. I I started I started bumping it to like 10. It’s supposed to be five. This is not
2403.76 medical advice. If you’re taking five, stick with five. Talk to all the experts do say five is totally fine. They say like it just builds up
2409.68 over time. Yeah. But there there’s a study. I don’t know how true it is. They say if you take heavier doses, it um
2415.76 whatever it does in your brain combats sleep deprivation like the actual physical. That’s the exact thing that I saw. So,
2421.28 I’ve been bumping it like 1520. Damn. Yeah. And it’s awesome. I one time I tried to buy creatine on Amazon. And it wouldn’t let me cuz it didn’t have my my
2427.359 ID. And I had to like put in my ID on Amazon. What? Yeah. It’s like watching porn in Texas. You got to like lock in with the feds.
2433.52 You had to put the [ __ ] ID in there. You had to put like my license to prove I was over 18. I didn’t have it on me. So I was like, whatever. So I kept on
2439.599 clicking different ones trying to find one to get through. None of them went through. And then a week later, my wife calls her. She goes, what did you order?
2446.24 I was like, I tried to get creatine at the FBI at your house. Legit, we got 10 boxes of creatine just
2452.4 stacked up in my lobby. My neighbors think I’m just some psycho. just stacking creatine like like there’s a
2457.52 recession coming. I know someone who tried No, you know what? I’ve seen people bring protein powder on the airplane and just like a
2463.839 white powder in a bag and it’s like I can’t bring it on the plane because I get swabbed every time. Really? TSA comes over and goes, « Hey, excuse
2469.839 me, Jack. Dude, can you just open your bag real quick? » And they go, « What do you got in here? I got creatine. » They mind if we swab it? I got test me right
2475.92 now, bro. Yeah, take it. I’ll take some I’ll take 5G’s right now. Yeah, I’ll take it to the face. I’ll snort it. Actually, you didn’t get a good night’s
2480.96 sleep. You mind if I take 10 grams out of there real quick? Yeah. You seem sleep deprived. You mean it’s 4:00 a.m.? Does it [ __ ] your stomach up?
2487.04 I don’t know. I’ve just No, not really. I I when I I took like 15 the one morning and it doesn’t But I notice I’m
2492.48 not hungry all day. Yeah. If I If I have like a ton of it in the morning, I don’t know. I thought when I was
2497.92 little, I thought it was like the most serious [ __ ] in the world. I was like, like when people are on creatine when I was like younger, I was like, « Yo, he’s
2504.0 on creatine. » Yeah. The the linebacker on the high school football team. Yeah. Taking creatine, you’re like, « Woo! »
2509.28 Like, « Yo, you know that stuff comes out of your skin, right? » My people tell me like if you don’t drink enough water like you just break
2514.319 out and crazy. It’s like it’s not true at all. Yeah. You can take so much of that [ __ ] I think worse comes to worse you just get diarrhea.
2519.599 Yeah. Just whatever. Dude, honestly, the thing that’s like been so helpful and I do this on the road specifically. I’ve been reading the work of Dr. Jason Fun.
2526.0 Who’s that? Oh, dude. Your fun daddy. You’re going to love Fun Dad. He’s sick as hell. He’s uh what’s his thing?
2531.28 So, his thing he’s a big fasting guy. Nice. And uh and he’s just like his whole thing is like weight and like
2538.16 weight loss is completely connected to insulin spikes. That makes sense. Which is controversial. A lot of people are like, « No, it’s just calories in,
2543.68 calories out. » Obviously, it’s just, you know, laws of thermodynamics. But his thing is like increased insulin will
2549.599 create insulin sensitivity and then increased insulin sensitivity will make your body not be able to process food
2554.88 and nutrients properly. You’re just going to have huge spikes. So his whole thing is just like one meal a day.
2560.48 Sick. High protein, high fats. Nice. So, it’s like steak, butter, vegetables, house that once a day, like
2566.319 3:00, and then you’ll get if you can get like 180 grams of protein in there in
2571.359 one meal, you’ll rock. You’ll be rocking. And I’ve been doing that over the past like 6 months. It’s
2576.48 been like transformative. Really? I feel amazing. Did you do blood work and all that stuff? Yeah. And everything’s great. I got like
2582.48 kind of high like cholesterol. I don’t worry about that. Yeah. But then I’m like I don’t know. My whole family’s got high cholesterol.
2588.4 That [ __ ] is nice for your brain. Stops Alzheimer’s or whatever. Yeah. I’m not worried about that. My dad has type two diabetes and I was on the doorstep of like
2594.8 pre-type 2 diabetes. Did you get a glucose monitor? No, I should get one. They got one on Stella. Really?
2600.0 Stella is the one I use. It’s just like a It’s like a non diabetic kind of like I’m b I consider myself like the scooter
2606.48 brawn of like medical quackery. Yeah. Like I just find I find [ __ ] I’m like dude nerve stimulator. I’ll buy it. You
2612.64 know what I mean? I’m just going to sleep with a contraption on my neck just [ __ ] shocking me in the middle of the night. But I I did the glucose monitor and that
2618.88 [ __ ] was awesome. Connects to an app on my phone. really. I wear it for like 2 weeks and it’s just like every time I eat I can see my
2625.04 glucose go up and down. Every time I work out I see it go up and down. Like I can just track it throughout the day and then like I can see how different foods
2631.04 impact me. So like I didn’t realize food that I thought my whole life was like nutritious and super delish. Was
2636.16 actually terrible. My mom made shepherd’s pie. Alltime favorite meal. So good. Dude, shephardd’s pie is like truly
2641.52 goatated. Yeah, it’s awesome. I think it’s the greatest meal ever invented. And I would I would I went home I crushed it and my insulin was
2647.44 like higher than ice cream. What? And I was like, « What is this? » And she’s like, « Oh, yeah. It’s all the corn. »
2652.8 Corn, mashed potatoes, a little bit of protein. Yeah. But like his whole theory is just like only natural foods, one meal a day,
2658.8 highfat, high protein, and I’m not hungry for 48 hours. Yeah. You don’t really need I I did a uh
2664.48 I did like a four It was a four or five. No, it was four. We were supposed to do a fiveday fast, but I had to do a show and I broke it the day before, but I did
2670.48 a 4 day. By the way, too, I did stand up on a two-day fast. I was ripping, bro. That that’s what I So that’s what I
2675.52 do on the road. You really don’t need that much. So you just don’t eat when you travel pretty much. Unless I’m eating like high quality
2680.56 foods. Like today we’ve went to like a healthy food restaurant in the do domain. It was like true food I think.
2686.48 Oh yeah. Yeah. And like it was great. I just got like salmon, steak, vegetables, and like I feel great. That’s the only thing I’ll eat
2692.319 till tomorrow. Probably tomorrow evening. And I might even just push it if I if I feel good doing a show on a fast.
2697.839 I don’t know if that’s just like Dude, I’m telling might be a bias, but I feel good. No, I I did I was worried. I did it at
2703.599 the mother ship and I was like worried that I was going to like pass out just in my head I’m like what if I [ __ ] just completely glitch out.
2709.44 Then after the f I was like kind of nervous for 5 minutes and once I settled down I was like you just feel so sharp. Yeah.
2714.56 So I my I fasting wise what I like cuz I did the four day I was like that was a bit much
2720.16 two day and then break with bone broth on the third day and then eat on the fourth. Dude like
2725.52 trying to get better cuz I can pig. That’s the other thing. Well that’s my ultimate vice. That’s my biggest vice of
2731.04 anything in my life truly is just the the sugar crash app. Yeah. And the only thing that curbed it my whole life. I’ve been trying to figure
2736.4 out ways to get off sugar. I’m like, « Oh, I only do this. » D. It’s just high fats satiate me. And I just don’t crave
2742.16 sugar at all. Yeah. That’s actually Yeah. I just don’t eat them anymore. I just like for the most part. I used to just like kind of
2748.56 especially with kids, you’re like, « You guys want some cookies? » And then you just eat seven. Well, dude, a wife is the worst thing for It’s like unbelievable because women
2755.119 have self-control. I don’t know how or why. Kind of. My wife will get like a cookie and then just I’ll I’ll open the fridge
2762.0 and there’ll be like half a cookie. I’m like, « What is this? » She’s like, « I’m working on it. » Yeah. We ordered this two days ago. She’s like, « Yeah, you know, I’m just I’m
2767.359 nibbling. » That makes sense. I I always call my fridge as my wife’s food museum. She just like saves all this takeout and
2773.44 [ __ ] I’m like I’m like, « We have to eat this right now. » Yeah. That was the other thing, too. I’d be like, « I have to finish all this food. »
2779.359 And it’s like cuz like I don’t want to throw it out. It’s like I don’t want to waste food, but at the same time, it’s like also shouldn’t treat my body like a
2785.68 trash can. Like if I can’t if I’m going to like feel sick from eating all this food, dude, I should probably just let it go. I literally have a note in my phone from
2791.92 the last time I crashed out on sugar and the note on my phone literally just says like, « Hey, you feel bad when you
2797.92 do this. You don’t like doing this. » Like it’s literally like it’s like a suicide note to myself. It’s like, « Hey, you’re going
2802.96 to regret this. You’re better than this. » That’s my thing with sugar. It’s like I don’t like it. Like I don’t The feeling I get after first of all like if I’m
2809.119 eating ice cream first two bites awesome. I’m like this is [ __ ] awesome. I love this.
2814.24 Diminishing returns though. Yeah. By the time I have finished like a cup, I’m like I a I feel terrible. My
2819.44 mouth feels all [ __ ] weird. And then I’m like, damn, I really wish I didn’t do that. Yeah. So now that’s what I just like same
2825.04 thing. I’m like we’re out we’re out to dinner last night and she’s like my wife’s looking at the dessert menu. It’s like I’m not getting anything. I’m not
2830.88 I’m not eating. I don’t need dessert. You can’t do a bite cuz if I do a bite, I’m spiraling. No. Yeah. Share it with me. I’m like I
2836.64 First of all, no. I’m going to make sure I get more than you if we’re doing that. And it’s like Second of all, it’s like
2841.68 no. I I don’t I don’t want it. I don’t want it at all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they’re able to just do a little bit and just move on.
2847.359 Not me. They Dude, it’s almost like I’ve like tried it because I’ve tried to tell her like just stop eating sugar allgether
2852.4 and she’s like I have to. Like she’s like I get my period like I have to eat something [ __ ] up. And it’s like why?
2858.56 She’s like you don’t understand. I’m like whatever. Fair enough. She wouldn’t get it, dude. You’re just full of semen. Yeah. Exactly. Jacked,
2863.76 dude. Literally they they have no idea. But the full of semen thing they have no they have no [ __ ] conception.
2870.0 They think they know, but it’s like, dude, you don’t even That’s wasn’t even half my power. Yeah. You know what I mean? What I gave you was just a that was just a taste.
2876.079 Yeah, that was Well, they also they have no idea. My my brother was explaining it. He’s like he was telling his wife.
2883.04 He’s like, « Look, you know, you like girls have anxiety all the time about like a 100,000 things. » You guys are like, « Oh, [ __ ] I got to get a calendar. » He’s like, « I have that with
2889.76 coming. » Just all the time. I’m like, « When am I going to bust? » Dude, the panic bus is crazy. Just being
2895.28 just anxious, just like a squirrel in the woods, just like, « Dude, I got to get this. » That’s that was my move traveling. So,
2900.319 I’m like, « I can’t sleep. » And it was just panic bust. Hit the button, pass out. The thing with not sleeping that helped
2906.16 me so much. One, uh, take a little supplement. Take a little, uh, oh, what do they call
2912.4 it? Starts with a G. I can’t believe I’m forgetting. GABA. No, it’s a gly GHB. No,
2918.72 Tren. No, I can’t believe I’m uh I can’t believe I’m forgetting the name. Uh, but
2924.559 yeah, it’s just like a supplement that people take. Oh, magnesium. Yeah, I take mag. I do magnesium and elanine. Yeah. But I
2930.559 I started [ __ ] with the the dark arts of um now I’m blanking. Melatonin.
2935.92 Whoa. That stuff is Yeah. So it’s super like it’s not habit for me. I’m like, « Yeah, it is. » Yeah. Because I I would take it and first of
2942.079 all like it put I’m like sensitive to [ __ ] So I would take melatonin and it puts me in like a weird twilight state for like 20
2948.4 minutes where I’m like I just feel weird. Especially if I have like caffeine in my system. Yeah. Because then it like fights against the
2953.839 melatonin. The caffeine are battling. I just feel wretched. Then I do get like a wildly fitful night of sleep. But the
2960.8 problem is like I didn’t want to take this every night. So I I had to I was like I’m traveling. I should take melatonin to reset my circadian. And it
2966.8 was just like I I would get home and be like I should take it again. And I would start taking it every night and it’s like I can’t have this.
2972.24 Start sleepwalking and [ __ ] No, I was just I sleep like a I’m like dead. I take it. I don’t cuz I have I
2978.0 have like I have tons of dreams. Anytime I’ve done like sleep uh tracking with like auto rings and stuff. I’m in REM
2983.76 sleep for like four three and a half four hours a night. I don’t really get a lot of deep sleep, which is probably bad, right?
2989.04 But you ever heard of the the zombie killer? This is a guy that took a a sleep medication in Canada in the 80s. Crazy
2995.28 story. Psycho, right? So, he the according to the story, he plays a rugby game. He’s exhausted.
3001.359 He takes a sleep medication, like a prescription. Yeah. Yeah. Knocks out, wakes up in his truck
3007.119 covered in blood, calls the police. He goes, « I don’t know what happened. I’m in my truck. I I’ve been gone for the
3012.48 past 8 hours. I think I was sleepwalking. Someone sent help. His hands are all cut up. Turns out he like murdered his mother-in-law and his
3018.8 father-in-law. What? Drove to their house, killed him. Goes to the courts in Canada. Typical
3024.319 Canadian courts, you know, Trudeau’s Canada. They basically say, « Yeah, it was just a mistake. He didn’t mean to. » Gets off and creates precedent for like
3030.96 this sleepy zombie killer that just like murdered people. And his alibi is like, « Yeah, I was sleepwalking. I have no memory. I took a sleep medication. I
3036.96 don’t know what happened. I killed my in-laws. » The perfect the perfect crime. Yeah. I’m I’m I’m guessing the marriage
3043.119 didn’t last. I I got to double check the data on this. This was back in the 80s, you know. Damn. Crazy, right? So, it could happen. You
3049.119 be careful with melatonin. I was a sleepwalker back in the day. I used to walk. I tried to jump out the window when I was little.
3054.16 No way. Where were you? The screen stopped me. I was just I had my I shared a room with my brothers and I had my foot pressing against the
3060.16 screen trying to get out. My brother was just like, « Yo, bro, you got [ __ ] You might have been MK Ultra, didn’t I? »
3066.559 C was trying to take care of you, dude. You tapped in your sleeper. I was trying to kill myself at night time. It was It was like true story. I would
3071.839 have been falling from like Yeah, I would have I would have been dead for sure. I I would have been severely [ __ ] up. Maybe I would have lived. I mean, it depends. You were inline
3077.44 skating back then. True. I was I was I was bored back then. I I when I was younger, I was a skateboarder, but I had a like a secret
3083.76 passion for rollerblading, but it was just like completely taboo. You caught the end wave of it. Yeah. It would have been like if I bust
3089.52 I was way better at rollerblading than I was at skateboarding. And I was I was like okay at skateboarding, but I was
3094.88 like nasty at blading. But if I like busted out the blades while my boys were all boarding, it would have been Yeah. You can’t they would have kicked me. I would have
3100.72 got exiled. I mean, the worst part is you just got to put your shoes in the skate park. You know what I mean? Like like you got
3105.839 to just like leave your your Etnne just like on the ramp and first of all, they’d be like, « We’re taking these Etnney. You can’t wear them
3111.76 anymore. Any privileges denied. You’re going home barefoot, dude. » Dude, I started skateboarding like after
3118.16 years and years of not doing it. Uh there’s like a pump track. Oh yeah. I’ve been ripping that thing on a
3123.2 skateboard. It’s the greatest. And you loosen up the trucks real good. Oh, you have to. Oh no, no, sorry. I had
3128.24 Mine were way too loose. when I bought it and I like I remember I like there’s like they’re
3133.359 building around my house so like they’re always building new houses around it still. So like I I got my skateboard
3138.64 home. I didn’t realize the trucks are so loose. I hopped on it in front of a bunch of construction workers wheelbite completely had to like flew out went 40t
3145.76 away and had to like walk away like I’m such a [ __ ] loser. Yeah, it was my kids. I a [ __ ] kind of fat 40-year-old just
3151.119 falling off a skateboard and it goes I had an adult fall after picking up skateboarding after not skating since I was a kid.
3156.319 It’s [ __ ] up when you fall scary, dude. It’s insane. Yeah. Like I like cuz I skated when I was a kid just like
3162.0 normal [ __ ] I would just like drop in like bulls. I only did vert skating. I never like street skating at all. I just loved like going up ramps and [ __ ]
3168.8 you know hitting like You should hit this pump track. It’s literally How far? It’s not far. It’s It’s 20 minutes from
3174.319 here. I would love this. It’s Dude, you hop on it. You literally drop in and it’s just, you know, you
3179.68 have like these little concrete waves that you literally pump your legs. Yeah. You get They used to have one in Williamsburg. They they patch it up. They they drilled
3185.839 over it. Dude, this fires took over our town. It’s heaven. I I put in I’ll like play music I used to listen to when I
3192.24 skateboarded as like a seventh grader. Like what? Just just Y2K 311 [ __ ] dude. It’s like three It’s
3197.52 amazing. Just rap metal the whole time, dude. Just amber. Just crushing amber. Just literally, dude. It’s I I do 311 music.
3203.52 Their first album. It’s f so [ __ ] sick. And then I’ll you just kind of like it’s like it feels and I’ I’ve only
3208.96 surfed like once or twice but it’s like it’s similar where you’re just kind of like I mean it’s totally different but you’re kind of just like locked in a
3214.48 groove where you’re like you’re not pushing off. you’re completely being propelled by the course and you got to like, you know, like get good at like
3220.72 coming up on a big quarter pipe, coming down, dropping, and there’s a there’s like all these little turns and this one
3225.92 way if you do it, you gain speed and there’s this thing. It’s like probably as tall as like that tree like where
3230.96 they things diverge right there and if you’re going fast enough, you catch a little bit of air and then come down really.
3236.559 I mean, like I’ll see pro skaters do it and they’ll get like six feet up in the air. I’ll get like
3242.559 I’ll get that much. Dude, I’m in heaven. I’m I get like an inch of air and I’m like, « Holy fuck. »
3247.839 I mean, that’s so sick. It’s awesome. It’s But also, a lot of you can even air out without even going up. Like, if you just kind of like pull the board up when
3253.839 you’re on the wall, like you kind of you still catch the wave a little. But it’s scary. As an adult, you’re like, « Dude, if I fall, I’m dead,
3258.88 bro. » So, I went back to the skatepark. There’s one right next to the studio we record the pod at. And my buddy Andrew has it. It’s called Substance Skatepark.
3264.88 It’s sick. And I was just going through, cruising around, and I would just like listen to music and I was like, « All right, I’m going to go to the big one, drop in
3270.24 and it’s like a 10ft pipe. » And I I dropped in on it and just like hit the sidewall and I’m like 190 and I just
3277.92 crash into it and like people walked around. They were like, « Are are you okay? » I was like, « Yeah, dude. I used
3283.359 to fall when I was a kid and it was fine. » Yeah. And now there’s a grown man. I just had like my knee was [ __ ] up.
3288.8 Yeah. You’re [ __ ] for a while. I I my left knee is still [ __ ] up. I’ve gotten hurt this year more than like the
3294.8 last 10 years combined. I I went on a zipline pretty much again like it was about let’s say like the height of the
3301.04 top of a sixft ladder like those those like lights would be the zipline. My kids are there. I’m like go it was like
3306.48 an Airbnb we rented and we’ve been there before and I’ve done it before no problem. I said guys check this out the second time we went there jumped on it.
3313.119 It just completely snapped out. So I like literally jumped from six feet up and just landed ass first. Luckily in
3319.599 like soft grass and there was boulder like giant boulders sticking out of the ground. And I would have been [ __ ] But my knee was like right here was just
3326.48 or was it my right knee? I don’t know. It was over here. Pride for like could have been a good settlement.
3331.92 4 months. Yeah. I can’t, man. My dad drilled that into my head. He was like, « You can’t sue people, dude. It’s
3337.28 you can’t litigate when you’re being dumb. » He’s like Yeah. He’s like, « You also jumped off. » Yeah. It’s one thing if you get like sideswiped by a truck. I like,
3343.119 « Dude, you jumped off a zipline. You’re [ __ ] 190 lbs. It’s not for you. »
3348.319 What’s up, guys? We’re going to take a break really quick cuz I got to tell you a story. Imagine you’re sitting in your house. It’s cold outside. It’s it’s a
3355.04 like ziplining as an adult. Again, my parents had one as a kid coming off the treehouse. It was so sick. But like I would I was on it and then like I let go
3572.0 and just whipped up immediately like hit my chin just knocked my whole [ __ ] back. Rock them suck them. Yeah, it was tough.
3577.52 But dude, yeah, as a as like a you know late 30s falling from 6 feet. It felt I
3583.2 thought I was like I I was convinced I broke my neck and like I was Christopher Reeves up like when I when I hit the
3588.319 ground I was like my little nephew was laughing at me. I’m like it’s not [ __ ] funny. Shut the [ __ ] up. I was
3593.76 so mad. Just rage quitting. Yeah. Well, I was just like dude stop [ __ ] laughing. I might have to go to the hospital and I was like walking
3598.799 around. My kids are looking at me. I was like, « Fuck, I’m just going to go. » They’ve seen me get [ __ ] up so many times. Really?
3603.92 Yeah. I broke my nose boogie boarding, body surfing. I broke my nose just at the beach at a sandbar. Mhm.
3609.04 No way. Made them line up. I was like, « Guys, watch this. » My wife’s like, « Come on. » Like, « We’re done. » I was like, « Watch this, guys, before we go in. » And I I
3614.96 rode one wave. If they weren’t paying attention, I was like, « Guys, final wave. Pay attention. » So, I made them, my family stood right at the edge of the
3620.64 surf and I was like, « Stand right there. » And I just came in flying. I I went too fast and I think it was like a
3626.0 young lady’s boogie board flew up and it cracked my nose and dude I it was like broken three places.
3631.2 No [ __ ] way. We had to leave the beach. We had to like go home. Get my nose fixed. You’re officially done. You had to get a
3636.64 reset and everything. Your eyes were all black and [ __ ] Completely black eyes, dude. For like a week. It sucked so bad. But
3641.839 and that’s the worst way to do it, too. It was like, « Hey, I tried to show off in front of my family. » Yeah. They were scared. I You got to say you got in a fight. I came out of the Well, I came out of
3647.839 the water and there my nose was like moved over and my daughters were like crying. They were so scared and I was like it like rang my bell so I was like
3654.72 oh yeah kind of like concussed a little bit. Bro, I did that on a wake skate one time. I was wake skating behind my
3660.799 friend’s boat in high school and I fell just like on the wake and then like came up out of the water and
3666.96 just just wake skate to the face. I didn’t break my nose, but it split me
3672.24 real good. And then I was just bleeding everywhere and I still I I didn’t even know. I was like, « No, no, I’m fine. » And they’re like, « No, you’re you’re
3678.16 ruining the boat. » Yeah. Like there’s blood everywhere. Swim bag. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I I I was recording my
3684.079 special like two weeks ago, I think. And a lot of the intro, a lot of it shot in POV. Yeah.
3689.359 So, they have like a guy like a body double to operate the camera cuz it’s like a pretty it’s like a serious rig. And one of the shots I was like, « Let me
3695.599 do it. » And they were saying, they’re like, « Rule of thumb, like we don’t let people do it. » But they’re like, « Fine, dude. Just like whatever. » I went so
3702.16 hard. It was like I did a thing where I had like I was sitting down. I kicked my leg like to be like cuz I was like angry in the thing. Dude, the camera just came
3709.2 right at the thing came up. Night two of filming, I had a giant [ __ ] wound in my forehead and it was like a big deal.
3716.0 So, you gota like match the footage and everything, but I was like, « Fuck. » Cuz I had I have this We’re still figuring it out now, but I I have for the night
3722.88 too, I had a like literally as an active wound. They had to put liquid bandage and it kind of just like kept it in place.
3727.92 No way. Yeah. I [ __ ] rocked myself in the head with the cam. With the cam, dude. These POV guys are real warriors,
3734.0 huh? They are. Dude, that [ __ ] How are they going with that, you know? How are they even doing that? We got to
3739.2 look at the science. I think classic just camcorder. This was like it’s made to look like you’re It looks like you’re like seeing out of the
3745.44 person’s eye. GTA [ __ ] Yeah. So, it looks literally like you just see arms and legs running around, but I I wore it for 5 seconds and hurt
3752.559 myself. And it’s the same thing like it got I have they sent me the footage where I’ll show you afterward. It was like I
3758.079 hit my thing and you hear a clon in the head and then you just hear my wife like, « Are you all right? » And I’m like, « Yeah, I’m fine. Why? Relax. I’m fine. »
3763.68 It’s you just hear people like, « Oh [ __ ] dude. Sit still. » It was just four straight lines of just a cut bleeding on
3769.04 my head. I was like, « Fuck. » Nothing worse than injuring yourself than having to like sit in it for a little bit. You know what I mean? Like I was being a dumbass. Like I’ve done that
3774.96 before. I would like hit a ramp like when I was a kid and then you fall and everyone’s watching and you’re just like, « Oh, well this is going to be a
3780.079 whole thing. » Yeah. People tell my mom she’s going to be mad at me. Dude, I could have like for real ruined
3785.599 my special cuz it was like I have this giant and like we’ll see what happens. But I have this giant one. Did you have to address it?
3791.68 No. They they uh it was really funny. So they like they put liquid bandage over it just to see like cuz they we had we
3797.359 taped one night so we’re taping the second night and the idea is to like get the best footage but if you got a splice you want to look exactly the same,
3802.96 right? So I have like one night where it’s normal and the other night where it’s just like you can totally see it but it’s like they what they do is they put
3809.28 liquid bandage and then they try to like cover it with makeup but then which was fine. They got it to kind of match but
3815.039 then as soon as I start doing standup the rest of my face turns red and there’s there’s just a white pale white
3820.559 patch in the middle of my head. just the reverse Hindu just full just white dot
3826.0 in the middle of the forehead. You didn’t sleep at all that night. You’re on 50 grams of creatine juice to the gills. You’re just jacked and white
3832.559 dotted. But it was honestly it was funny cuz like it was a big deal. It was like, you know, it’s the second night of filming
3837.76 and it’s like they’re trying to get it to match and everyone like it was like kind of a freakout. It’s like a collective freakout. And I literally had
3843.76 to just be like, « Guys, there’s nothing we can do. » Just we have CGI. Yeah, that’s thing too. I was like,
3849.28 « Guys, I’m pretty sure if they make Transformers explode, they can cover up a tiny patch on my forehead. » But it was
3855.76 just another again, it was like, « Thank God. » That’s like, that’s the thing, too. When you try to sell like the meditation stuff on people, like, I
3861.839 don’t see the point. I just sit there and I get angry. It’s like, yeah, why are you [ __ ] getting that annoyed to sit in a chair silently for 10 minutes?
3867.839 That’s a major problem. Yeah. You can’t literally just exist in yourself for 10 minutes without having a absolute kind
3873.76 of like borderline psych like a light psychotic episode to the point where you’re like, I tried that [ __ ] It’s not
3879.119 for me. It’s like, yeah, you have [ __ ] problems, dude. Yeah, you can’t sit in a chair without bugging out. Like, that’s not good.
3884.799 But luckily, I had done all that stuff to where like, you know, it’s like it’s kind of intimidating. You’re on a big thing. There’s a crew of like 30 people.
3891.359 There’s all these cameras like, « Oh, [ __ ] I’ve sold this special. » All this stuff. And I had to like, it was just one of
3896.72 those things I had to be like, they’re like, « Oh, man. And if only we didn’t. I’m like, dudes, we we literally talking about what we could have done is totally
3903.2 pointless. Patch me up. I’m going to let’s just rip these shows. I just need an eye patch. Yeah, just [ __ ] yeah. Dan Crunchaw, get me out there, dude. I
3909.76 could let this thing fly. It would honestly help it. I’d be dead serious if you just had a full black eye. The special never addressed it.
3916.319 People might think they might think you’re Illuminati, though. They might think you’re black eye club. They might be black. They’re like,
3921.359 « Dude, Claw Schwab got to him, dude. » Dude, I was like, it was a huge victory for me to be like, I like just kept my cool and was just like, « Guys, let’s
3927.119 just do like there’s nothing we could do now. My forehead is [ __ ] Yeah, we’re crossing to Delaware, boys.
3932.72 It is what it is. Yeah. And it was it was one of those things that made me laugh cuz you know you get I get in my head with that [ __ ] and it was like just the first night, you know,
3939.119 you’re all nervous and [ __ ] I was more relaxed after cracking my head cuz it was just a reminder like, « Yeah, dude, you’re a [ __ ] dumbass. Like don’t be
3946.0 that serious. Like you can’t you’re not built to be serious. If you try to be serious, it’s just bad for your body because you crack your head. Just go rip
3952.24 it and do do your thing. » Yeah. It kind of takes the pressure off. It really It kind of did in a weird way. It was just like, « Well, [ __ ] All right. Well, I might have [ __ ] f I
3958.48 might have blown this. I’ve done that before I go on stage. Like, I get in my head where I’m like, is this outfit like I’m not a hat guy. I
3963.68 can’t wear hats. That’s not funny. Also, no one can wear hats on stage. Only black comics. You can’t wear hat.
3969.28 I’ve tried the baseball hat thing. Even just like trying material out and it’s like I I was in my head the entire like
3975.119 who what am Jerry Seinfeld with a [ __ ] hat on. I was like, take this thing the [ __ ] off your head. But like I’ve spilled like mustard on my
3981.599 shirt before and it’s the best sets ever. Yeah. Cuz I walk out there I’m like nothing matters. Who cares,
3986.799 dude? My I think this was the last time I filmed my special. I was taking a [ __ ] between shows and I I don’t know if it
3993.92 was during the special just I might have just been like headlining at heel. I don’t know what it was, but I was doing a show and it was like, you know, kind
3999.839 of high at the time high pressure situation and I was taking a [ __ ] and you ever like you’re not like angling
4006.16 your dom correctly and you pee through the toilet seat? Yeah. Yeah, I’ve been there. I pissed all over my leg and I just had it going. I had pee
4011.92 soaked. Just a full pee. Just Yeah. I had like a I would say like a 4 inch in diameter patch of piss
4018.319 soaked jeans and I like went out on stage and I was like I literally pissed all over my jeans before I came up here and everyone was like ew. And I was like
4024.48 I’m just kidding. I literally did. I was like I [ __ ] pissed my pants kind of effectively. I effectively pissed my pants.
4030.559 But again just kind of just shows the absurdity of life and you’re like it doesn’t matter. Let’s have fun. Exactly. It’s like what am I trying to
4035.92 look cool? I just pissed myself. I banged my head. It’s like I’m not cool. This is what it is. I’m a [ __ ] Yeah. You had to pull a daddy daycare or
4041.839 whatever. No. What’s the What’s the Sandler movie where he pe Oh, Mr. Deeds. Yeah. Oh, no. No. Um, that’s uh Billy Madison.
4047.92 Billy Madison. Everyone. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, that’s uh Yeah, you just got to let it rip. But okay, before we dip, I just wanted to
4053.76 ask you as an author Mhm. are there any books that you recommend or any uh Wikipedia wormholes you’ve been going down
4060.079 currently? So, twoprong. So, if it’s like I I’ve been writing a lot of uh
4065.44 fiction lately. I I’ve been I wrote a book. I self-published. I actually took it off Amazon because now what I’ve been
4071.119 doing with writing it’s like I I love writing. I do I literally do it kind of like all day as much as I can. And uh
4078.799 but it’s like I also want to produce I want to start like producing books and I I’ve recently with like the So my whole
4085.039 point is like I’ve teamed up now. So I like I had that first book. I did it. It was okay. I like reread it because I wrote it so long ago. I reread it. I’m
4091.359 like like I got to like I’ve gotten better. So I don’t like I just felt kind of like not embarrassed but I’m like I
4096.48 could make this better. Sure. But then like I I’ve started working with one of my friends who’s like for real a fantastic writer. So now
4103.199 what I what I’ve been doing with him, his name is Pedro Senus. He’s a man. I took like my old book and I’m like, you
4109.12 know, tear this thing apart and then we’re going to let’s re-imagine this book. We’ll keep all the characters, the
4114.96 settings. Let’s just like almost like a version 2.0. Well, it lets us brainstorm. But he kind of handles a lot
4120.56 of the uh kind of highlevel like pro stuff. So, it’s like I can now I can just sit there and just be like, « This
4126.239 is what I want it to be about. » He can be like, « Well, that doesn’t make sense. This is great. » And we just go back and forth and we’re writing like two books
4131.6 right now like that, which is kind of sick. And then now I just do a Substack where I just write like just like essays
4136.88 and [ __ ] and put them out for free. Well, dude, I was even going through some of the articles on your website and they’re so fun.
4142.159 Like they’re like Did you read Dave Barry growing up? No. He’s like just a humorist, just like a
4147.199 funny guy. I read him when I was a kid, but like that just like I didn’t realize until I read his [ __ ] that like just
4152.64 words like pros can be so funny. Oh yeah. And like reading your stuff, it had a similar energy. I was like I’m laughing
4158.719 more at this than I do like a lot of comedy specials cuz like there’s something about like internalizing and
4164.48 reading in my voice the words that is funny to me. Maybe it’s just like an an innate narcissism. I don’t know. But
4170.4 like I’m just reading I’m like dying laughing reading an article. Well, that’s that’s kind of my that’s been my mission for a while, especially with
4175.759 like the podcast and standup is you again you get so in your head and you’re like oh like entertainment is one of
4181.279 those things where like you know you know comedians everyone people if if you once it works out for you like so many
4186.56 people do it and you know you make no money at all then it works and like you stand up’s one place that always freaked me out where like you’ll see people
4192.96 making like doctor salaries who are miserable so they’re like I should be making 50,000 times this and that’s to
4198.64 me is like a track if you get on that you’re just going to be miserable forever of course. So, I I try, you know, again,
4203.679 I’m not perfect at this. I try to be like, let me just genuinely make an effort to like make people laugh at
4209.44 their like give them little things that can like just escape the absolute torture and hell of like a regular job.
4215.36 Yeah. Like 90% of regular jobs. Some I guess could be fun, but it’s like let me just focus on that instead. And it makes it
4221.76 just it’s like not like I’m like, you know, I’m so nice. It just makes it takes the anxiety off me really. Dude, the hard boner test is so fun.
4228.48 The hard boner test. Someone turned that into a video with like subtitle. It’s my cuz I forgot I wrote that and then I saw
4234.4 a thing on Twitter or something and it was like someone took it and turned it into one of those like hope core type
4240.0 videos where they it dude it’s it’s awesome man. But I’ve been like that’s my whole point was I’ve realized like
4245.44 all right novels I’ll get there one day but I’m not there yet. let me like really work on like the things that are
4251.04 truly in my wheelhouse and then like books that I want to do I write them with my friend who’s actually equipped to produce like a publishable like you
4258.0 know like professional grade thing because like novels it’s like I I could eek one out but it’s it’s not going to
4263.76 be the level I want. I need help to do that. So So this fiction book is it fantasy?
4268.8 No, the fiction book so the one I’m doing right now is like the original one that’s like a 2.0 know, was like a kind
4273.84 of like a crime novel that I wrote based it was like a I came up with it when I was in Philly like loosely just like I I
4280.64 did make up a lot of it and some of it was like somewhat true stuff or whatever and then like so I I did that and then I’m reworking that one now to make it
4286.96 just kind of better and then the other one is more kind of like a weird fantasy kind of sci-fi one not sci-fi but it’s
4294.32 like more fantasy than kind of grounded in reality. That’s sick. But but then in terms to answer your question, sorry for the long
4300.48 uh tangent, but to answer your question for fiction, what I’ve been doing is I I read I’ve been reading Elmore Leonard a
4306.96 lot who he wrote Get Shorty. Uh he wrote like he wrote like 45 books and a lot of them have been turned into movies, but
4313.199 he writes in like a very clear like because I when I wrote my first book, what I did was I try to like prove I was
4319.199 a good writer by just like overexlaining things like the classic thing like and the sun was beautiful and dazzle, you
4325.36 know, [ __ ] like that. He kind of does like the opposite where it’s like very lean and you know so I like I just read
4331.12 books that I like and I like actively dissect them where I’ll be like that was a really cool passage. I take a picture of it and I’ll like kind of break it
4337.76 down so that when I am writing I have like a toolkit of like here’s all the things I liked. Here’s why I liked them. How do I what are better ways to like
4344.0 show you know x y and z. So I’ve been doing that with fiction books just like reading them breaking them down. non-fiction right now. I’m in like a bit
4350.56 of a slump, but I I I have been reading about the Desert Fathers, and that’s like my favorite [ __ ] right now, where
4356.0 it’s like the guys who I guess it was like the fourth century, right when Christianity became the the official uh
4363.84 religion of Rome. These guys were like, « This is [ __ ] up. » Because it really it was like they were kind of I mean,
4370.48 it’s kind of like we were talking about in the very beginning. They were clashing against a pagan society where they’re like again it’s not I I I don’t
4376.96 like to talk about this stuff being like you’re evil if you would do this or do that like not at all. We’re all pulled to do that kind of stuff but they their
4382.88 philosophy of the world was like the only thing that only you know treasures and pleasures that can be had are in
4388.96 this temporal worldly existence you know that was like Rome like glory to your family riches subjugate everyone
4394.4 but orgies. Yeah. Yeah. Literally like yeah we’re going to pack this thing full of like ladies. We’re going to have some freaks.
4399.76 We’re going to laugh at them. might [ __ ] the freaks too. It was just like it was just you would try to gain worldly status and just make yourself as
4406.0 comfortable and kind of like titilated as possible. And these early Christian guys were like it’s not it and they ran
4411.92 to the desert just to be like hermits in the desert and just figure out like just a better way basically.
4417.44 I’ve been reading it’s like the book is full of it’s called the wisdom of the desert and it’s full of just their little like sayings and apherisms and
4423.28 Merin. Yeah, Thomas Merin. He’s the man. He was all he was a monk as well. But that’s as I get older I
4429.44 just like reading about monks. Like it’s such a crazy thing to be like literally everything in the world you’re supposed
4434.88 to just swear it off. Yeah. Just and just pure aesthetic lifestyle. Yeah. It’s [ __ ] up and I’ll never do
4440.239 that but it’s cool. I like to read about it. And you ever read about the Agori of India? These are like the dudes that they’re
4446.56 they’re typically like Shivite like mystics and so they like have a
4452.64 devotional path to or no maybe they’re Vishnuite. Yeah, I think they’re Vishnavite. And
4457.92 which one’s the destroyer? Shiva. Shiva. Shiva Shiva. No, they’re they’re Shivite aesthetics that basically see
4463.52 death as like pure escape. And so they’re like they like just live out in the wilderness and like they
4469.679 cremate their dead and like bathe in the ashes. Like you might have seen pictures of these guys. They’re just like coated in the ashes of
4475.84 the dead and they see it as like their like
4480.96 sort of like temporal gaining of like enlightenment in in moa that they’re able to like connect with the ultimate
4488.719 destruction which then leads to enlightenment and like all death is rebirth that flowers die and they grow new flowers and like they’re just pure
4495.28 aesthetics that just live out there and just just bathe out in the cremation. I just I I don’t know what it is. I I
4501.44 love hearing those guys’ thoughts like when they’re when they were like cuz the the the book the desert book is it’s
4506.719 kind of similar where they’re just kind of like chilling in little huts and the whole thing was like you know if you’re fasting cool but if you get like
4512.8 attached to the fact that like how sick it is that you’re fasting they’re like you’re doing it wrong might as well just eat a meal with your boys at that point
4518.239 like so it’s like I don’t know there’s something to be said that the reason I like to read it is like it’s not a
4525.92 stretch to be like the way things are going now it’s not very great to be like, you know, addicted to social
4532.64 media, addicted to like Only Fans porn. It does it does kind of strip away, you
4538.08 know, if you’re a young guy, it’s like I want to have a family at one point, but you’re just like in debt because of like, you know, online gambling and only
4544.8 fans. You’re like there’s you got to break out. There’s some there’s need to be some like breakaway thing or just like, you know, just a reordering of,
4551.44 you know, how do you orient your life and like what is a you know, how do you exist in a way that
4556.64 doesn’t make you [ __ ] like furious and feel horrible all the time? and all like the cheap hits of dopamine are just
4561.92 going to basically just lock you into sadness long term and that like kind of detachment from worldly
4568.56 pleasures is kind of a better long-term bet. It’s like we’re we’re pretty locked into that. Like it’s I with kids too, it’s like I catch myself all the time.
4574.719 I’m like, « All right, I’m going to put on TV so you guys can watch TV so I can stare at my phone. » And it’s like yeah,
4580.159 probably not the best. I mean, I wouldn’t I’m not like a purist on it. Obviously, you need your little breaks to [ __ ] chill, of course. But parenting has shown me
4586.719 like it it does reveal the double standard that I hold for myself, you know, where like I’m like, you can’t
4592.32 look at the iPad, but I can go on my phone all day and just doom scroll. It’s like a war and do it in front of you, too.
4598.159 Yeah. Yeah. You can’t, though. And you can’t eat sugary food. No, but I can order cookies at 3:00 a.m. and just crush. Don’t try. I’ll be on my phone like,
4604.239 « What’s that? » I’m like, « Oh, you just you guys don’t even look at this thing. This will [ __ ] you up. Don’t I just hold my kids to such a different
4610.159 standard than me. » Yeah. You know what I mean? It’s like not fair. And so it calls me to be like, « Oh, maybe if I’m going to make him not eat sugar, maybe I
4616.8 should be a little more disciplined with my diet. And if I’m going to like encourage him to go be active and play outside, maybe I should be outside. » You
4622.239 know, that’s my thing. Yeah. That that’s that’s pretty much it. It’s like, yeah. What the that like if I had to boil it
4628.719 down, it’s like again, I’m with my kids tired. I’m like annoyed because I’ve been like, you know, hurting them around all day like, « Hurry the [ __ ] up. Stop
4634.56 doing. » And it’s like if I can catch myself in those moments being like
4640.4 I just want to look at my phone. I just want a break. I have to do all this stuff at work. If I can like learn to shut that down and be like, « No, man. I’m chilling with these guys. » Like,
4646.64 it’s it’s literally up to me to come up with something fun to do. Be present. It’s cool. Be present. And like, you know, just like, you know, so I’ve been
4652.64 really And just reading about the Desert Fathers does help me where I’m like, damn, these guys were in a [ __ ] hut that they built in the desert with
4658.4 literally nothing. Yeah. It’s like, I can figure this out. I don’t have to be such a [ __ ] that I’m like, I haven’t had any time to check my
4664.4 Twitter. It’s important for my job. I have to look at this. It’s all [ __ ] right? Dude, Christopher Ryan wrote a great book called Civilized to Death.
4671.44 And basically, he just sort of explores like our modern compulsion towards like
4677.12 just being happy in the present and just not ever really being actually present, but just constantly seeking like other
4682.64 hits of happiness. Yeah, I I dude I literally just wrote a Substack about this really just about harvesting joy. It’s like you
4687.92 have to it’s all about like and again I I I I say this I always include myself in this but it’s like you you grow up
4694.64 with the idea like if you can arrange your external circumstances in a certain way there’s going to be like you know
4699.76 those movies like we got the missing piece and it like unlocks everything starts glowing blue and like we’ve opened the gate the portal it’s like it
4706.159 doesn’t exist like there’s in my opinion it’s like you can make your life better and you should but it’s also like what people don’t
4711.36 focus on is like how do you train the instrument which actually experiences happiness which is yourself. Yeah. like there’s no external circumstance that is
4717.52 truly going to unlock that, but you can train your mind to have like a steady slow drip of like just kind of
4723.84 contentment that wasn’t there before. Furthermore, is suffering inherently bad? You know what I mean? Like we have
4728.88 such an aversion to suffering and like obviously gross suffering like at scale is like atrocious and obviously is
4734.4 terrible, but like minor forms of acute suffering in your daily life. Is it actually always bad?
4740.0 No way. I think it’s good, man. Cuz like before I had kids, I had all the free time in the world and I’d be like, « I’m
4745.04 bored. What am I doing with my life? » And now I have no [ __ ] free time. So when I get it, I’m like, « Oh yeah, if I
4751.679 get an hour that I can just like do whatever I want. » Yeah. It’s [ __ ] amazing. Yeah. So I I’ll It’s like Yeah. I I Yeah. You
4758.48 have to kind of, you know, eat some [ __ ] in just in life in general cuz if you never had anything bad happen to you, I I can’t even I
4766.08 can’t imagine that. You be a [ __ ] freak. Yeah. Truly. I mean this is like uh the nice thing with kids is it also gives
4771.52 purpose to the suffering. Like all suffering is sort of purposeful which is very much like a a Victor Frankle idea. It’s like yeah dude like
4777.52 you’re suffering for a reason and as long as you’re suffering for a reason it’s it’s endurable. You know what I mean? Like you can get through
4782.88 it. Like you can sort of rationalize that’s dude again that’s what the desert fathers are all about that. A lot of their sayings are like dude if your
4788.64 life’s easy you’re [ __ ] You need a hard life. If your life’s not hard like you’re [ __ ] You need you need a hard life. And you know, and again, not to
4795.04 like fet fetishize your own suffering, but just to be like this just is what it is, dude. Yeah. No, of course. Shit’s [ __ ] hard. It genuinely
4800.64 doesn’t feel good a lot of the time. Yeah. But you know, if you can use your kind of like creative powers to like somehow
4808.56 turn it into a thing that feels kind of like good and beautiful. It’s like huge huge W.
4813.6 Yeah. Of course. That’s the way I look at like life already has so much acute suffering. You can just try to rationalize that. You don’t necessarily need to like self flagagillate. Yeah.
4819.92 You know what I mean? Like you’ll see some of the radical boys getting after it. The Catholics do this all the time. They’ll just whip themselves in the back and you’re like, « Yeah, all right.
4826.239 It’s not necessary. I don’t think you have to do that. » And it’s also, you know, this is like the people say this and it’s it’s like true, but it’s also
4832.0 like whatever. It’s like your levels of suffering if you like mash them up against people all over the world. It’s
4837.199 like it’s laughable, but it’s still this you’re still suffering. You’re still like, « Well, dude, I look I haven’t starved to death my whole life, so
4842.56 obviously I can’t I can’t appreciate this meal as much, but it’s like but suffering is a gas, as they say. It
4847.92 consumes the space that it exists in. So, like, you know, not to like equate, I think it like, you know, you can get into like a
4853.28 point where you’re like, dude, my suffering isn’t even worth anything cuz there’s people that really suffer. It’s like, well, to you, like your mom dying,
4859.84 Yeah. it’s [ __ ] up. Yeah. Is is objectively terrible regardless. You know what I mean? Like the death of your dog is terrible. Perhaps someone
4866.0 has worse suffering, but to you in this exact moment, it’s a bummer. And like you’re able to kind of like sit in it
4871.36 and like and cope without having to ideally just jump to like cheap pleasure to to fix
4876.64 the uh that’s the uh whatchamacallit Schopenhauer who was like a pessimistic uh German whatever philosopher and his
4883.36 big thing was like yeah the way the world’s set up it’s [ __ ] like you’re going to be [ __ ] miserable no matter
4888.56 what even if you somehow arrange things in a way to where they’re like favorable you know compared to everyone else say
4894.08 like you become super wealthy or whatever it’s like then you’re just bored he’s like best case scenario he’s like no matter what this like if you
4900.08 free yourself from like the abject suffering that just comes with let’s say you know 7/8 of the world that, you
4907.92 know, if you’re if you’re like the one, you know, if you’re like the 1/8 that like is somehow lucky to have decent circumstances, the hawk of boredom just
4914.639 is going to circle over you and just peck at your head for the rest of your life. You’ll just be bored and distracted. Whoa. That’s kind of heavy.
4920.48 Yeah, he was he was no one everyone thought he was kind of a bummer. But he’s also like not a free will guy either. I’m pretty sure he’s like,
4925.6 « Yeah, dude. You free will is not even real. » I don’t know. I don’t I don’t know what the guy his whole thing was like he he
4932.4 called it the will which is like just the animating force of the universe and that was the thing driving humans forward.
4937.92 I guess he was just like you’re I think he would have said like you have free will but only to like only to the point where to realize that
4944.08 like shit’s [ __ ] up as good as you could do. He’s like literally his his like prescription was like find some
4950.56 books man. He’s like find something cool to read and otherwise like find a cozy nook. You know what I mean? curl up.
4955.76 Find some cool [ __ ] to read and just go to the Scholastic book fair and just go to town, you know. Yeah. He’s like, « Save. » Yeah. Save up. Do your summer reading. Get the pizza
4961.76 book. Get the pizza club and [ __ ] and let it rip, dude. Matt McCusker, this has been wonderful.
4967.52 Thank you, man. Appreciate it. I really appreciate the time. It’s been a pleasure getting to know you better. Thank you, man. And uh yeah, this is awesome.
4972.96 You got to shred the pump track. I actually would be completely down. All right. Maybe uh today or tomorrow, I’ll hit you.
4978.32 Let’s figure something out for sure. Hell yeah. All right. Thank you, brother. What’s up, people? Quick announcement. If you are a fan of Camp Gagnon or
4984.48 Religion Camp, I have great news because we are dropping History Camp. That’s right. This is the channel where we’re going to be exploring the most
4990.159 interesting, fascinating, controversial topics from all time throughout all history. Right? You probably know about
4995.6 Benjamin Franklin, uh I don’t know, Thomas Jefferson, Nicola Tesla, interesting figures from history and you
5000.639 probably learned about school and they were pretty boring, but not here. No, as you know, uh I was raised by a
5006.0 conspiracy theorist. So, I’m going to be diving deep into all of the interesting, strange, occult, and secretive societal
5012.8 relationships that all of these famous, influential men from our shared past have. So, if you’re interested, please
5019.199 go ahead and subscribe to the YouTube channel. It will be pinned in the description as well as the comments. And if you’re on Spotify, this doesn’t
5025.44 really apply to you, but these episodes will be dropping as well. Just go ahead and give us a high rating because it really helps the show.
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